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More Carols, and a Hanukkha song!

I just can't help myself. I've had this in my head and need to get it out. Warning: the Christmas song is not repsectful of Jesus AT ALL, hence the funny. [EDIT]And a new song has been added and I must be stopped.

[EDIT] Another song added. Would you rather I spam you? Didn't think so.


Do You Hear What I Hear?
~~
Said the Whelp Boy to his demon girl,
"Do you see what I see?
Down in the dark crypt over there,
Do you see what I see?
A vamp, a vamp humping in the night
With a cock as big as a kite,
With a cock as big as a kite."

Said the demon girl to the Naive Boy,
"Do you hear what I hear?
The moaning of your name, Naive Boy,
Do you hear what I hear?
A gasp, a cry and was that a squee?
Like When you put your penis in me
Like when you put your penis in me?"

Said the Naive Boy to the Bleach-ed Vamp
"Wanna know what you know,
In your crypt so cold, dark and damp,
Wanna know what you know,
Your Childe, A Childe: would you be my Sire?"
"Your life's blood is what I require.
Your life's blood is what I require."

Said the Vamp to the Scoobies at Giles' house,
"Listen to what I say!
Xander is my bitch, don't you grouse.
Listen to what I say!
We screw we screw, Anya, so much more than you
See ya, we are happy now, just us two
We are happier now, just us two..."

~~~


Sung to the "Dreidel Round" on the South Park Christmas Album. If you aren't familiar with that song, you may be lost. (check out www.rangerstation.com for the lyrics and links to mp3s if you don't know the song)

Willow's Round
(Kyle's Part - Sung by Willow)
I have a pretty girlfriend, I made myself be gay
Cuz have you fricken seen her? With Tara I will play
Oh, Tara, Tara, Tara
I made myself be gay
Tara, Tara, Tara
With Tara I will play


(Stan's Part - Sung by Buffy)
I'll try to fit you in
Faith showed, I'll try again


(Mrs. Braflovski's Part - Sung by Joyce)
Now when you learn to fight the bad demons
You KNOW the Scoobies always win
(keep fighting!) Learn to fight the bad demons
You KNOW the Scoobies always win


(Mr. Braflovski's Part - Sung by ME!)
Spike is hot, I love him
He's so hot, on that show


~~~
Spikey Baby, by Harmony (Sung to Santa Baby)

Spikey Baby, just slip a nibble under the tree
For me
Been an awful good girl
Spikey Baby, so hurry back to your Harmony

Spikey Baby, get rid of that yuck DeSoto, too
It's poo
How 'bout BMW?
Spikey Baby, so hurry back to your Harmony

[Bridge]
Think of all the fun I've missed
Found out you were dead and boy,
I was pissed
That what happens with "the fight for Good"
Stick with me Schmoopy,
'Cause you have been missed.

Spikey Baby, I never got to see all of France
Or dance
With you in tight leather pants
Spikey Baby, so hurry back to your Harmony.

Spikey Sweetheart, I am a sharp career girl now
And how
I run the office, like, WOW
Spikey Honey, Wolfram, Hart sure love your Harmony

[Bridge]
Come and see me run the show
You'd never believe all of the things
That I know
Secretly I am still bad
But on the outside I'm good and they'll
All be had

Blondie Baby, one last thing that I want from you dear
Right here
I'm talking sex you big queer.
Schmoopy Spikey, come have a go with your Harmony.



~~~
Kendra, The Irksome Slayer

You know:
Buffy
And Good Faith
And Bad Faith (awakened)
Kennedy
'Manda
Potentials who made it

But do you recall
The most obnoxious Slayer of All?

Kendra, The Irksome Slayer
She also sounds like Bob Marley.
And if you ever heard her
'Nflections that would make you pee.

All of the other Scoobies
Didn't like her - too book-y
Except the Watcher Giles
Someone else to research - wee!

Then one set-up gone badly
Dr'silla came to play
Buffy, with her mind not right
Left her friends to die of fright

And then that Dru, she kilt her
With her nails of red and glee
Kendra, the Irksome Slayer:
She sounds just like Bob Marley!


On a sillier note, I am so excited to get these cards from all of you! Just got a holiday card all the way from France and jamalov29, I smoosh you back! Je t'aime! More Cecily tonight! The plot thickens, tensions mount, birds will shit...

Comments

( 24 comments — Leave a comment )
sdwolfpup
Dec. 11th, 2004 10:13 am (UTC)
I always listen to the South Park Christmas Album first when the holidays roll around. Ever since I got it.

Swiss colony beef log, baby, that's what Christmas is all about! *boogies*

(PS - These are funny. Kthxbye.)
stoney321
Dec. 11th, 2004 10:30 am (UTC)
"...and still be a virgin, Mary!"
My dad is a Choir Master, and how innapropriate is it for his daughter to mutter, "The Night when I get Preehhhhh-sents" while his choir is performing?

South Park makes me so happy. Christmas is about twinkling lights, fudge and watching people rip paper fast. Right?

(PS - thanks, K BI)
likeadeuce
Dec. 11th, 2004 10:28 am (UTC)
hee, you're so silly!

in the best way possible :)
stoney321
Dec. 11th, 2004 10:31 am (UTC)
Look at what I did instead of reading your email!!
*off to read your email and get ahead of the class*
cityphonelines
Dec. 11th, 2004 10:36 am (UTC)
You Spanderdized it! Ahhh! *runs around headless*
Will you be my sire? I'll be your waywared childereerere for eternity, or just for a few shags, whatever.

I think you've got some hit singles there.
*chucks our Feliz Navidad, put these into rotation*
stoney321
Dec. 11th, 2004 10:52 am (UTC)
I'm currently working on a version of "Santa Baby" that will be added on here later...

(Don't you know I had you and Sue in mind for the first "carol?"
likeadeuce
Dec. 11th, 2004 11:35 am (UTC)
Spanderdize
that word should so be in the dictionary.
stoney321
Dec. 11th, 2004 12:07 pm (UTC)
Re: Spanderdize
I need to be stopped. Up to 4 now. Why am I not getting ready for the party I have to attend??

And an alternate meaning for "Spanderize" should refer to Man PantsTM
cityphonelines
Dec. 11th, 2004 12:30 pm (UTC)
Re: Spanderdize
You mean it's not in the dictionary?!?
*checks Webster's*
Huh.
*writes in into the tome in purple crayon*
violethamster
Dec. 11th, 2004 12:19 pm (UTC)
Your icon is amusing and adorable. But I will not give it an air rifle, as it will shoot its eye out.

Is it wrong that your carols have made me feel the first hint of Christmas (plus a little bit of Hannukah) spirit I've had this year?

Don't stop! You should write all the carols. OOH! I would love to see a Wee!Spike carol. And a Bad!fic carol.
stoney321
Dec. 11th, 2004 05:48 pm (UTC)
<-- Whoo hoo!!
Will you help us get a duck for the Christmas feast, but have the head still attached?
[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<lj-user="ropo>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

Will you help us get a duck for the Christmas feast, but have the head still attached? <lj-user="Ropo "> made the icon and it rocks. She makes GREAT icons that are shareable.

I wasn't feeling very Christmasy until the 12 Days story (which is weird because I know where it's going) and the spazzy carols. DId you see the one before this?

Working on more Hanukkah spirit, STAT.
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Dec. 12th, 2004 07:53 am (UTC)
"drunken calls to those you love: it's holiday time"
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Dec. 12th, 2004 07:51 am (UTC)
Sue has twisted my arm, and there will be more today. This is the sort of thing my family does every holiday: mangle songs instead of each other. Hee hee!
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Dec. 12th, 2004 07:51 am (UTC)
Ha ha ha. Would you settle for a drunken phone call like Sue got last night?

Sue twisted my arm (OUCH!) and I'll do two more tonight. Wheee!!
cityphonelines
Dec. 11th, 2004 03:24 pm (UTC)
Next time SPAM, I nearly missed the new editions.
Whooo, Spikey Baby, so damn good. You have renewed my love for Christmas carols.
stoney321
Dec. 12th, 2004 07:53 am (UTC)
i love me some x-mas carols. And all the trimmings and trappings of christmas, even though I am not (nor will ever be) a "christian." Huh.

Spikey Baby makes me laugh, but Kendra, The Irksome SLayer is by far my favorite. (Say that in her voice and it's funnier. "itsa mi FAVEoreet."
(Deleted comment)
paynbow
Dec. 12th, 2004 01:26 pm (UTC)
Bwahahahaha! Spander, Willow... *eg*

Spikey Baby, get rid of that yuck DeSoto, too
It's poo
How 'bout BMW?


Hee!

I also love the Kendra one...god is that "Jamaican" accent awful. Heh..."Are you Jamaican? Cause Jamaican me crazy..." *g*
elcazavampiros
Dec. 14th, 2004 12:28 pm (UTC)
Heee Heee Heee.
stoney321
Dec. 14th, 2004 12:42 pm (UTC)
Back at ya, Curly!
wendylouwho
Dec. 15th, 2004 06:32 pm (UTC)
They are all so funny, but here are my faves:


A gasp, a cry and was that a squee?
Like When you put your penis in me
Like when you put your penis in me?"


and

Spikey Baby, I never got to see all of France
Or dance
With you in tight leather pants
Spikey Baby, so hurry back to your Harmony.


Thanks for the laughs!


stoney321
Dec. 15th, 2004 08:19 pm (UTC)
Thank you!! I have wormed my way into my husband's brain with these, too. He called from his job site and sang me "Gordok, Did You Know?" about three times today. Ha ha ha.
( 24 comments — Leave a comment )

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Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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