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Ehn

Guess who has two thumbs and started up P90X again?
Guess who has two thumbs and wants to punch Tony Horton in the neck meat?
Guess who has two thumbs and is so sore she can't raise her arms to punch said instructor in the neck meat?
Guess who has two thumbs and is instead making herself laugh by doing a John McCain impression? [The one from the debate with the goofy face behind Obama's back, lol]

I had to go to the store for sundries and when unloading said sundries from the back of my SUV, could barely raise my arm to lower the back gate and whimpered. And contemplated turning on the garage door to crash the lid down. I didn't, because I don't want to spent umpteen dollars in repairs. BUT IT WAS CLOSE.

I made the Pioneer Woman's chai gingerbread bars (not hers, but from her Tasty Kitchen site) and they were a HUGE hit with the family. They're not overly sweet, which is a massive bonus at this time of the year.

Guys, I don't think I have the arm strength to mop. I think I only have enough to put fudge in my mouth and play some Fallout. Oh, bonus to the hard core working out I'm doing, I'm falling asleep easily and deeply. YAY. But I'm missing phone calls from friends, BOO. (Kassie, I'll hit you up this afternoon, yo.)

Oh, and I think I pissed off a voodoo priest because I have a The Believer's size zit on my cheek. If that thing pops and spiders come out, I'm slitting my throat, just know that. Please play "Think of Laura!" by Christopher Cross at my funeral. And drink a lot. And laugh, don't cry [I know she'd want it that way, hey, hey!] And beware the voodoo priest that will most likely show up to make me an undead. RIGHT THROUGH THE BRAINS, GUYS, I WILL NOT BE TURNED. I leave my zombieship in your capable hands.

Comments

( 20 comments — Leave a comment )
fitofpique
Dec. 15th, 2010 08:29 pm (UTC)
I have a The Believer's size zit

OMG THE SPIDERS!!! MY CHILDHOOD TRAUMA AAAAGH.
stoney321
Dec. 15th, 2010 09:16 pm (UTC)
THAT WAS THE FREAKIEST THING I HAD EVER SEEN.

Years of therapy required, yes.
turnonmyheels
Dec. 15th, 2010 08:41 pm (UTC)
As soon as I get moved and unpacked [January? February? Ass-end of never?] I'm re-starting and I'm going to make it my bitch. After of course, it puts me where you are today.

::Hands out tiger balm and massages::
stoney321
Dec. 15th, 2010 09:17 pm (UTC)
Mmmm, tiger balm. I'm firing up the hot tub tonight, gas bill be damned.

You've reminded me to schedule a massage, so you're my favorite right now.
turnonmyheels
Dec. 15th, 2010 09:18 pm (UTC)
If I'm you're favorite?

I WIN EVERYTHING

mwa hahaha
dovil
Dec. 15th, 2010 08:45 pm (UTC)
I'm not sure who Christopher Cross is so instead I'll play 'Jump' by Kriss Kross and see if we can bounce you out of your coffin as a zombie tribute. Then we can do a game controller 10 X button salute while eating chips and spilling them down the front of our tracksuit tops.
stoney321
Dec. 15th, 2010 09:18 pm (UTC)
Either, or, that'll work. LOL.

I appreciate the Chav send off. Make sure my casket is Burberry, that's well fit.
rocketlaunching
Dec. 15th, 2010 09:06 pm (UTC)
Feel better Stoney!!
stoney321
Dec. 15th, 2010 09:21 pm (UTC)
Re: Feel better Stoney!!
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA.

OMG, the RM's and half of them are gay! BWEEEEEE!

That's really funny that they're mocking themselves, too. (Gently, though. Oh, so gently.)
ladycyndra
Dec. 16th, 2010 12:13 am (UTC)
Oh, and I think I pissed off a voodoo priest because..

Right as I read that, the power went out here. Creepy!! o_ov
39th_year
Dec. 16th, 2010 01:23 am (UTC)
I can haz recipe for non-sweet gingerbread plz? And your posts never fail to make me laugh my socks off. Please stop because it's very very cold in Michigan.
elizardbits
Dec. 16th, 2010 01:25 am (UTC)
DUDE I HAVE A ZIT SO MASSIVE I CAN SEE IT WHEN I LOOK DOWN MY OWN FACE. Not impressed?

IT'S ON MY CHIN. it went off like a chestburster (chinburster?) just before dinner, too.

WHY YES I AM BRINGING SEXY BACK


I am taking 2 weeks off from my trainer at the end of the month for some minor surgery, so he is spending the next 10 days kicking my ass so hard 5 days a week that I actually LAY DOWN AND CRIED this morning in front of the leg press. SNOTS AND EVERYTHING, DUDE.

my ass looks glorious ngl


crap. i just spilled chicken soup on your xmas card. IT WILL SMELL DELISH OKAY.

Edited at 2010-12-16 01:27 am (UTC)
stoney321
Dec. 16th, 2010 03:53 am (UTC)
MINE IS THAT HORRIBLE UNDER THE SKIN KIND THAT WILL NOT BE POPABLE, THE WORST KIND THERE IS! IT IS OUCHY AND I CAN'T EVEN PUT ON MY REDONK FACE CREAM THAT IS SUPPOSED TO HAVE NANO TECHNOLOGIES OF HELPFUL FACE-HEALING ROBOTS WITHIN.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, what is this minor surgery, and why have I not been notified of when I'm on rotation to bring soups and sundries?

I have 1 1/2 hour power yoga tomorrow that will make me simulataneously weep and rage, which isn't conducive to the whole yogi mindset, I believe.

BUT I WILL ALSO HAVE A GLORIOUS ASS AGAIN. *frowns at the lack of awesomeness*

I AM OKAY WITH THAT, I WILL SMELL IT AND JUDGE YOU. It's like your present to me, wheeeedle wheedle whee!
elizardbits
Dec. 16th, 2010 04:00 am (UTC)
YES YES A HUGE HARD ZITMONSTER THAT CANNOT BE SUMMONED. I was planning to stab it with a pin, tbh, but it finally asploded after much poking. Now, of course, it looks 23413456925235645 times worse. SIGH.


MAYBE I AM GETTING MY PILES LASERED OFF DUDE OKAY HDU ASK SUCH EMBARRASSING QUESTIONS OMG yeah so I have these things on my vocal cords that make my throat sore all the time so my ENT is going to like, freeze them off or something idk. but I will not be allowed to talk or laugh or cough or sneeze or hum or ANYTHING for like, 10 days, so I clearly cannot leave the house or have any fun at all. GRAR.
stoney321
Dec. 16th, 2010 03:54 am (UTC)
OH AND MY ZIT IS ON MY CHEEK. RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE, ANGRY, RED, AND THE SIZE OF A DIME. I just measured it, because I'm weird.
icewolf010
Dec. 16th, 2010 04:14 am (UTC)
SPIDERS IN YOUR NECK?!
I WILL BURN YOUR BODY FROM BALTIMORE. FOR REAL. WILL YOU COME TO BALTIMORE AND ROCK ME TO SLEEP TONIGH? GAH.

(Seriously. My hair stood on end. *shudder*)
(Anonymous)
Dec. 16th, 2010 02:47 pm (UTC)
Do your best and forget the rest!
I just restarted the P90-Xcellence again too. The first week was the sorest I've ever been, even more sore than the first time. Definitely helps that I know the right way to do all the workouts this time around.

After I finish again, then I train for a mini marathon, then back to P90 again! It's a vicious cycle of self-torture only balanced by the homemade ice cream I can make and eat. Honestly, if it weren't for dessert, I'd never work out.
(Deleted comment)
oatmellow
Dec. 16th, 2010 03:18 pm (UTC)
Um, thanks for the ear worm. That would be a song I haven't thought of in years and now it WILL NOT DIE.

Also, I will be sure to carry my gun and wait for you to wake in your zombie state and confess my undying devotion to you before I kill your zombie-self. And then I will laugh, not cry...because I know you'd want it that way.
the_soul_of_wit
Dec. 16th, 2010 03:23 pm (UTC)
That entire last paragraph is why I love you and your blog so much. That was amazing.
( 20 comments — Leave a comment )

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Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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