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1. Foot shufflers. You're too tired to pick up your foot all the way, so you are just gonna shove it along the ground? NO. This is fork on a china plate level irritation for me. I'll have to REPLACE MY KNEES one day (I just have bad knees) and even I can lift my foot a full inch off the ground and ambulate. (Can't help it, it strikes me as lazy/slovenly.) Ick, that slippery high-pitched sheening noise that slippers make on tile makes me want to stab my ears. Wait, not mine, theirs.

2. Negative Nancys. The people that find the potential problem, that see a flaw, that see a problem, that just have to contradict, like it's a freaking ingrained reflex (which it probably is by now.) I have literally posted about how I freaking HATE that kind of banter in my LJ three times THIS YEAR SO FAR. It's March 3. And for the umpeenth time: this is my personal journal that you enjoy with me, not a community journal where we have to share space.

I do not care if you hate something I love. It is douchebaggy to tell me that you hate it when I just said I love it. Period. You may be a wonderful, kind, and loving person IRL. But that kind of commenting makes me see only the douchebaggery and I will call you out on it. UGH. How many times do I have to post about this, good hell! From this point forward I will give a canned response: "What the f*ck is wrong with you?" but I won't omit the letter U, because that's the important part in the equation.

3. People who don't know their boundaries. EXAMPLE. I have just posted a review of, say, National Geographic's Expose on Cave Systems and talk at length about my own experiences spelunking. You then comment with something thusly: "So I'm confused, when you went spelunking you wore a bathing suit, right? I ask because when I put a bathing suit on I immediately get a severe rash on my cha cha, then my boyfriend (who is married to a woman that hates caves, it's so weird) gets the rash on his hoo hoo dilly, and it would help me if you would come over while I sit on a mirror and validate my existence. Also, I think you have a drinking problem."

(omg, I am lol'ing so hard.)

BUT SERIOUSLY. I do not want to know about your sex life, stranger. I especially do not want to know about it on a post about a tv show. Unless we are RL friends, I don't need you coming over here (or to Hey, Don't Judge Me) and filling me in on specific life choices you're making. Unless I ask you for specifics, let's consider that a rule, shall we? What you do in YOUR space is a-ok with me. I just don't want it HERE, that's fair, right? STAY ON TOPIC.

IN COMPLETELY UNRELATED NEWS: I saw an outdoor bathtub (!!) made to look like a giant GEODE. I wish it really was a geode, the crystals all smoothed over inside, instead of the cement-polish look, because then it would be like bathing inside a huge gemstone. It would feel tres glamorous, non? I <3 geodes.

Also, I want patterns for these bathing suits because I want to make my own. <-- I'm insane, we all know this. But cute retro-styled bikinis are either impossible to find, or super expensive. I'm looking at you, Betsey Johnson, with your almost $100 per piece.

Lastly, I wish that the garden blogs that have pretty designs would actually point out what ALL of the plants are, instead of saying one or two, then you're left wondering what the amazing blah blah in the foreground is. You can rest assured that I will note everything. EVERYTHING. I'll even point out the damn nematodes, if you wanted. ;)

Comments

( 68 comments — Leave a comment )
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sheafrotherdon
Mar. 3rd, 2011 03:05 pm (UTC)
Have you tried etsy for retro bathing suits? There are some cool folks making stuff - here are a couple of people I already had bookmarked:

http://www.etsy.com/shop/gloriacardinal

http://www.etsy.com/shop/TheRedDolly

stoney321
Mar. 3rd, 2011 03:14 pm (UTC)
YAY!! I've been following PinupGirls, but having more options is always better, thanks for the links! <3
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elizardbits
Mar. 3rd, 2011 03:23 pm (UTC)
WELL I HAPPEN TO LOVE NEGATIVE NANCYS AND NOW I HAVE BEEN WOUNDED BY YOUR CRUEL DISMISSAL. so there.


Miss Brache on etsy makes rad retro bathing suitses! too lazy to find link sry.

ALSO SPEAKING OF AWESOME HOUSES. don't show this to your kids.
stoney321
Mar. 3rd, 2011 03:28 pm (UTC)
THE ONLY TIME I LIKE THEM IS WHEN THEY'RE HILARIOUS ABOUT IT. Which doesn't explain my love affair with you, BUT STILL.

I kinda want to try and make my own, because I'm weird like that and enjoy sewing. BUT I SHALL LOOK FOR YOUR MISS BRACHE.

That is seriously cool and I would live there happily. Also, you should know that your reviews of Spartacus made my husband go dl the entire series (the one before, too) and catch up. He's very happy with the show - mostly because of all the Lucy Lawless bewb.
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stoney321
Mar. 3rd, 2011 03:48 pm (UTC)
(wierd, lj screened your comment? The hell?) *clings to you*

Isn't that bathtub craymazing!? WANT.

You can buy from McCalls and Butterick their old patterns, and people on Ebay sell them (for ridiculous mark ups) I've just not bitten the bullet yet. COME ON, ME, COMMIT.
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enigmaticblues
Mar. 3rd, 2011 03:57 pm (UTC)
I do not care if you hate something I love. It is douchebaggy to tell me that you hate it when I just said I love it. Period.

THANK YOU. Someone did this to me the other day and I wanted to STAB THE WORLD WITH MY RAGE. I think I'm going to adopt your response, and just put my mean girl panties on. No more Ms. Nice Enigmaticblues.
stoney321
Mar. 3rd, 2011 04:25 pm (UTC)
I got it just yesterday. People seem to do this to me all the freakin' time, it's practically a meme. I think because we're all so chatty over here that some folks forget this isn't a community LJ, you know? BAH.

Yeah, screw being nice or whatever, be blunt, some people need to be reminded that they've shown their panties, you know?
megarandom
Mar. 3rd, 2011 04:03 pm (UTC)
Agreed on all points.

I've noticed that a lot of the people who do this shit absolutely LOVE the words, "Well actually..."
stoney321
Mar. 3rd, 2011 04:26 pm (UTC)
YES. YES THEY DO. Then there's the pedantic behavior where they can't go through out their day unless they correct your spelling, your use of a word, etc. I mean, if someone says something racist or hateful, yes, bring that up.

Someone says they had aunts in their pants? LAUGH. AND SCROLL.
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maybe1ce
Mar. 3rd, 2011 04:29 pm (UTC)
>shuffles over to Stoney
>sighs and shakes head
>overshares about my sex life/weird dreams/menses


I was also going to send you here: http://www.modcloth.com/ to look at swimsuits, but then I realized that they are about $89 for a one piece, which isn't necessarily that much cheaper than old Betsey.


stoney321
Mar. 3rd, 2011 04:34 pm (UTC)
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Eff you in the bee hole! :D

I've heard bad things about modcloth, in that the quality isn't worth the price. (I mean, hey, I typically buy my bathingsuit pieces from J. Crew where they're 40 - 50 per piece, so it's mostly trying to get the look I want for less, but not sacrifice quality. <-- HEY HOW NOVEL, NO ONE DOES THAT. lol.)

I found the CUTEST 2 piece last year from Betsey, and EACH PIECE was $120. To freaking sit in a pool. Nuh uh, I'm still too Mormon in my soul to spend that kind of money, I can't help it.
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copykween
Mar. 3rd, 2011 04:35 pm (UTC)
OMG FOOT SHUFFLERS! So friggin annoying. Equally annoying? Loud gum chompers! CLOSE YOUR DAMN MOUTH!!!

That tub is awesome!
stoney321
Mar. 3rd, 2011 04:48 pm (UTC)
GUM SMACKING! Yes, yes, yes. Close your damn mouth, I don't want to see your chompers, son.

I want to soak in that tub DAILY.
kuzu_no_ha
Mar. 3rd, 2011 05:01 pm (UTC)
1. Once when I was a young teenaged Diva(woe no one understand me!!!! Imma pubescent artist!) I was shuffling to the bathroom to get ready for school(woe) and my gran was staying with us and she said from her room which was still dark, "PICK UP YOUR DAMN FEET!" and I have ever since. It annoys me when other people shuffle.

The geode tub is just awesome. You always find the most luxurious things!
stoney321
Mar. 3rd, 2011 05:10 pm (UTC)
hEEEEEE, I love your gran!

Isn't that tub just... WANT. That whole backyard enclosed space/shower/relaxation station is just fabulous. (Girl, you know I'm all about the high tone! Lol.)
jadangel2001
Mar. 3rd, 2011 05:14 pm (UTC)
Have you checked out this site for swimwear hon? http://mybabyjo.com/swimwear.htm i really like some of their stuff, but haven't tried them myself so can't say how good quality they are.

There is also this for swimwear pron, but only if ya win the lottery cos it's out of any normal persons price range http://www.karenneilsencollection.com/online-store/
stoney321
Mar. 3rd, 2011 06:02 pm (UTC)
I do like that 40s pin up style, but I'm wanting the "Beach Blanket Bingo" style bikinis from the 60s. Leeeetle more skin showing. <-- apparently I'm an exhibitionist, who knew? Ha!

Thanks for the links!
huzzlewhat
Mar. 3rd, 2011 05:22 pm (UTC)
I just want to say that I adore you for #2 and #3. #2 I get in online life, #3 I recently got in real life, and the words that sprang immediately to my mind were, "What the f*ck is wrong with you?" :-)

stoney321
Mar. 3rd, 2011 06:02 pm (UTC)
I know, right?! It's so... off putting and shocking when it happens because it's just a metaphoric bucket of ice water, right?
stephanierb
Mar. 3rd, 2011 05:53 pm (UTC)

Hello, my name is Stephanie and I am a foot shuffler.

Kidding. Sort of. I do on occasion shuffle my feet, but I try really hard not to. It's a bad habit I've not quite kicked.

I have to ask, where do you find these awesome photos of houses? I love looking at that kind of stuff.
stoney321
Mar. 3rd, 2011 06:03 pm (UTC)
NO MORE FOOT SHUFFLING! THink of it like this: the higher you bring your knee, the more defined your quads will be! Hello, shorts season! :D

I have a bunch of sites I look at, Trendir, Design'Milk, the Contemporist to name a few.
furikku
Mar. 3rd, 2011 06:00 pm (UTC)
I never realised there was a geode-bathtub-shaped hole in my life but now I have and I think I need one. *_*
stoney321
Mar. 3rd, 2011 06:04 pm (UTC)
Exactly how I felt. "Clearly this is what has been missing from my life up until this moment. I thought it was daily chocolate cake, but it turns out to be geode tubs, who knew?"
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zyrya
Mar. 3rd, 2011 06:13 pm (UTC)
Ooh I love that tub. I wish they'd show it filled on a sunny day, with the water all black and exciting.

Etsy has a bunch of retro swimsuit patterns. I love patterns! I can get lost in these sites for hours. Or sovintagepatterns.com might have what you're looking for.

As for the rest ... yeeeaaahh. Boundaries, people. I'm glad you told off the I Hate Modernism person, because it's horrible to smash someone's loves.
stoney321
Mar. 3rd, 2011 06:15 pm (UTC)
Isn't the tub fabulous?

OOOH, THAT IS A GREAT LINK, thank you!!

I just don't get why there's a disconnect with people where they feel like they NEED to tell you the opposite. Especially in someone else's space. I don't go to people's LJs who go on and on about Hawaii 5-0 with how disgusting I find Scott Caan, BECAUSE THAT IS DICKISH. Yeesh.
tabaqui
Mar. 3rd, 2011 06:19 pm (UTC)
Monstrous Bebe is a foot shuffler. Sometimes. Especially when she's wearing *my boots*, i tell her 'pick up your feet! You're wearing out the soles of my boots!'

She's evol.

I want to live where it's perfectly practical to have an 'outside' bathroom like that. Geode-tub included.
stoney321
Mar. 3rd, 2011 06:27 pm (UTC)
With the right sheltering and heating/fans put in, you can be outside all year round, as far as I'm concerned! Then again, I love being outside, no matter what. :D
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siapom
Mar. 3rd, 2011 07:10 pm (UTC)
Thank you. #3's example made me laugh so hard that my dog crawled out from under the bed to look at me funny. :D
stoney321
Mar. 3rd, 2011 07:47 pm (UTC)
HEEEEE. I'm glad you laughed! now if we can just get people to LEARN.
roonilwazlib6
Mar. 3rd, 2011 10:28 pm (UTC)
If you're ever up in Put-in-Bay, Ohio (the land where people drive golf carts instead of cars because the island is that small) there's a really cool geode you can go inside... it's like a small cave. Very cool!

Ever check out pinupgirlclothing.com? I want like, one of everything on that site. Their bathing suits are a little more reasonable that BJ, though I guess they can be expensive depending on what you want!
stoney321
Mar. 3rd, 2011 11:37 pm (UTC)
That sounds like the most amazing thing EVER!!!

LOL, they've been recced a few times in comments here, great minds think alike!
txvoodoo
Mar. 3rd, 2011 11:14 pm (UTC)
I hate geodes. On principle! /lies all lies

Seriously I love them, and HOW COOL would a bath/spa be with one lined in crystals????
stoney321
Mar. 3rd, 2011 11:38 pm (UTC)
HAHAHAHA, how can you hate geodes!? (I C wut U did thar)

If I ever become a go-zillionaire, I will make sure that I own a geode bathtub. WANT.
captainofidiots
Mar. 3rd, 2011 11:36 pm (UTC)
Oooooh. That tub. I want that bathtub. How freaking cool!
stoney321
Mar. 3rd, 2011 11:39 pm (UTC)
OPULENCE. I HAS WANTS IT.
lynnenne
Mar. 4th, 2011 12:07 am (UTC)
OOOOOOOOOOOH! Pretty bathtub!!

OMG you are so negative about Nancys! I dated a Nance for years and there is NOTHING WRONG WITH THEM. Aside from the occasionally small penises but it's how you use it. Which also gave me a rash on my hoo hoo, can I send you pictures?
stoney321
Mar. 4th, 2011 03:05 pm (UTC)
AUUUUUUUUUUUGH!!! (Lol x infinity)
rocketlaunching
Mar. 4th, 2011 12:32 am (UTC)
I came here to suggest Etsy as well as Lands' End. I got a super cute retroish tankini swimsuit from there last year, I love it so much. It's extremely flattering and doesn't make me feel fat, which 95% of swimsuits do these days. I also like how on their website you can shob by collection, silhouette, or fit.

THAT BATHTUB UNFFFFFFFF
stoney321
Mar. 4th, 2011 03:06 pm (UTC)
SRIUS, THE BATHTUB IS CRAYMAZING.
brunettepet
Mar. 4th, 2011 01:58 am (UTC)
Did you look on Ebay for vintage patterns? I know they can be pricey, but you may run across just what you want and then you can make cute bathing suit after cute bathing suit until the end of time.
brunettepet
Mar. 4th, 2011 02:13 am (UTC)
There are bunches of swim suit patterns ranging in prices from $5 to $40 - 40's to recent. It was fun looking through them.
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a2zmom
Mar. 4th, 2011 01:59 am (UTC)
That bathtub is the scnitz. Especially as I assuming if you can afford the tub, you can also afford to pay someone else to clean it.

I do not understand those who wish to harsh your squee. If you are squee adjacent, move on.

And it drives me nuts when not all the plants are identified. I actually once wrote to the author of a gardening book I own to ask him about a specific picture. (And he write me back - such a nice person.)
entrenous88
Mar. 4th, 2011 04:40 am (UTC)
Any fancy outside serene bathtub is a-ok by me.

Foot shufflers! It seemed to be a thing with girls when I was in late elementary/middle school. I mean, it almost seemed desirable to cultivate a foot shuffle/foot draaaaaag. It seems creepy, somehow, that someone would say, "Now that is the persona I'd like to project to the world!" Draaaaaag.

Let's ignore all those no-fun haters and over-sharers, and go get some awesome metallic grey-green polish manicures tomorrow, is what I'm saying.
stoney321
Mar. 4th, 2011 03:08 pm (UTC)
Me, too!

Ahahahahahaha, it's SO EMO. Couple this with sleeves hanging over hands (ugh, when girls poke holes through their sleeves to jam their thumb through to MAKE SURE they hang long??? <-- clutches pearls) Lol.

Ooooh, shellac manicures, YAY!
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stoney321
Mar. 4th, 2011 01:16 pm (UTC)
But who put their hoo hoo dilly in your cha cha? <-- it's always south park with me. :D

I LOVE LOOKING AT HOUSES. Love it. Love doing it online or IRL, it is a lovely time spent, imo. (And I know you love it, too, which is why you win all the things, INCLUDING MY HEART. But not my liver, because I still need that.)
voodoochild9
Mar. 4th, 2011 04:00 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry, hoo hoo dilly made me laugh too damn much XDD
stoney321
Mar. 4th, 2011 04:41 pm (UTC)
LOL, me, too! Credit to Matt Stone and Trey Parker for that one.
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Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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