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Emily (who is three) is singing "Santa Claus is Coming To Town" and repeating over and over (and over and OVER) in a monotone voice:
"You better not shout, you better not cry, you don't wanna shout, just don't wanna cry..." It's like the nurse at the asylum passing out meds at 5 to rocking and drooling patients... Merry Christmas!

On a second note, I'm sad in my heart about Lemony Snickett having Jim Carrey in the Count Olaf role. Shoulda been Jeremy Irons with really bad and obvious disguises. It would have been more true to the books and funnier in a less obvious way.

This is what my neighbors and in-laws are getting: terrariums!
To buy:
Glass cookie jar with lid (Target has glass cookie jars SOOPER cheap right now, or you could try any large glass container with a lid.)
pea gravel - colorful
potting mix
2 to 3 terrarium plants, or any tropical (and small!! = cheap) house plant. Pothos ivy is too big. Try small maiden hair ferns, bonsai plants, miniature dracena and mix up textures like an upright, a cascading, a bushy...

To make:
Layer pea gravel on bottom, just enough to cover.
lay down some potting soil, just enough to cover gravel
arrange plants in the container, giving a few fingers' width of space between walls and plants, and plants and each other.
fill in gaps with potting mix
layer the top with pea gravel to make it decorative
slowly water the container until you see the water BEGIN to pool in the lowest layer of gravel - be careful to not over water!
put the cover on and place in sunny spot

Write out a card with the instructions to : "Water plant when the top 2 inches of potting mix is dry, keep in sunny place with lid on" if you feel adventurous, write out the plant names or makes plant labels. They look so clean and bright...

Gotta finish my gingerbread men today and prepare for the kids to come storming home hyped up on sugar. More karruhls later! Cordy and the Cordettes have a song for everyone...

Comments

( 23 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Dec. 17th, 2004 01:38 pm (UTC)
Re: I Wanna Hear Emily and the Monotones!
Ha ha ha! "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall! We wnt to sell a bunch of shit to the Germans!"

Man, I have been going to sleep super early lately, so I missed the fun. I just got back from decorating my MIL's tree for her, so I'm playing catch up. I cannot BELIEVE the story in the post below.

Have I told you yet that I heart ewe tonnes? cuz eye dew.
vincitveritas
Dec. 17th, 2004 10:30 am (UTC)
I <3 Jeremy Irons!
Jim Carrey makes me nervous. He craves too much attention. He was really good in Sunshine blahblah though. I can't say anything about the "Unfortunate" casting (I am so punny!) because I have yet to read the books. Are they good? Should I see the movie first and then read them so I won't be disappointed during the first viewing? I trust your advice.

Monotone carols are the best way to go. That way you don't sound too excited. And it's better than the crap they play in the mall.

Mmmm gingerbread men *drools*
stoney321
Dec. 17th, 2004 01:40 pm (UTC)
Re: I <3 Jeremy Irons!
have to say I love the books (and just recently figured out there was a code in them all!) but am very nervous about the movie. Local paper gace it a C because of JC, but said the kids were terrific. Hmmm. Unfortunately, my kids will want to see the movie over the break, so I'll get suckered in, I'm sure. I just loved the books, and kind of think it should have been animated by Ed Gorley (is that right?) or at the very least directed by Tim Burton.
mskakaako
Dec. 17th, 2004 05:20 pm (UTC)
Re: I <3 Jeremy Irons!
Edward Gorey? He dead. But, that would be very cool wouldn't it?
The 'The Gashlycrumb Tinies' are so cool. I saw a calendar of it once and coveted it for my classroom, but thought it might send the wrong message. Heh.

I want to read the books. I've heard that they're better than Harry Potter.
cityphonelines
Dec. 17th, 2004 11:20 am (UTC)
'Terraniums' is a funny word
Y'know, for the longest time I didn't think I liked Jim Carrey, then I realized it was because "Ace Ventura" did nothing for me and "The Mask" was annoying. Now? I kinda wanna date him. Jeremy Irons would make the mostly frighenting Count Olaf. Good or bad? Not sure yet.

Monotone rocks!!
stoney321
Dec. 17th, 2004 01:43 pm (UTC)
Re: 'Terraniums' is a funny word
I have a crush on Jim Carrey and have for years. But everyone wants him to be "Jim Carrey!!" in a movie, and the books are more sinister and less in your face with Olaf. A quiet, evil Brit would have been better, and the disguises should look obviously fake, since the kids ALWAYS knew it was Olaf within seconds. It would have been funnier to have Jeremy Irons with a toupe (obvious toupe) and constantly adjusting his fake mustache, you know?

We'll see. My kids will drag me to it over the break, I have no doubt.

Terrariums is a completely serious word and you should cry redemption and forgiveness, but in opposite order so it makes sense.
mirasol
Dec. 17th, 2004 02:25 pm (UTC)
Us Brits aren't all quiet and evil.

Some of us are Hugh Grant.

*goes off to silently read "How to be an Super-villan" by Levinson, Meers and Wells*
stoney321
Dec. 17th, 2004 02:29 pm (UTC)
You know that is meant as a comliment... By which I mean: Brits are the better quiet/thoughtful actors in villian roles, where most US "villians" are the in your face BOO! kind.

So. To make a movie better, it should be a Brit.

Somet of you are Jude and Paul Bettany, too, which is absolutely lovely.
mirasol
Dec. 17th, 2004 02:45 pm (UTC)
Paul Bettany...
...makes me want to write Master and Commander slash.

Just think, we Brits get to see these guys before you. Actually, just the other day I saw "Sharpe's Waterloo" on TV - Sean Bean, Paul Bettany, Alexis Denisof...

*warm fuzzies*
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Dec. 17th, 2004 01:45 pm (UTC)
Re: Satan, and a misinformed child on Christmas...
"our satanic powers will stop you!" And the Omen music in the background.. Ha ha ha!

Your neice is fucking crazy. Hee! Her thing today is monotone, but really LOUD monotone. What a weirdo.
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Dec. 17th, 2004 01:50 pm (UTC)
And the terrarium is CHEAP!!

I absolutely LOVE the Lemony Snickett books. Every character is based on a real life 19th century writer, poet or artist, and that is just terrific. The first book was by far the darkest. Children's books typically are, though. Just read the first ten pages of Anne of Green Gables. Or The Red Pony. Or Sounder. Or Where The WIld Fern Grows. I remember my thrid grade teacher calling my mom because I wouldn't stop crying when the hound dogs died. Old Yeller? Jesus Christ.

I like that there is a humorous side to the misfortune, that the kids always triumph, that knowledge is the key, and that new words and grammatical concepts are introduced in each book (and repeated three times to solidify the learning.) Can you tell I like the books? :-)
(Deleted comment)
elcazavampiros
Dec. 17th, 2004 01:27 pm (UTC)
On NPR yesterday, the book's author said that Jim Carrey was on the top of his list for actors to portray Olaf. Myself, I'm going for Abraham Benrubi. Wait, that's another Olaf.

I've never read these books and really have no intention of watching the movie. Maybe on
DVD.
stoney321
Dec. 17th, 2004 01:51 pm (UTC)
The books are really a treat, and they are easy to read. I can usually read one within a few hours. If you are at the bookstore and waiting for Sue, you should pick one up and read through it while she searches in vain for vampire porn.
(Deleted comment)
mirasol
Dec. 17th, 2004 01:43 pm (UTC)
Unlike most of you, I am not a nut.
My brother thinks that I'm a freak. Why today in particular?

Because I saw a poster for the movie and I'm sure that Violet has plaits.

I'll forgive Jim Carrey as Olaf - though we're talking someone who was still recognisable as the Grinch - but Violet with plaits?

That's just plain wrong. It's like giving Sunny a full set of teeth.

Hmmm, maybe he's right.
stoney321
Dec. 17th, 2004 01:52 pm (UTC)
Re: Unlike most of you, I am not a nut.
Plaits? Do you mean braided hair? She doesn't have braided hair! The promos I've seen have her hair loose so she can tie it up with a ribbon, indicating that sharp mind is kicking into gear.

I stand by my earlier assertion that these should have been animated and directed by Tim Burton.
mirasol
Dec. 17th, 2004 02:13 pm (UTC)
*faints with relief*

It was a poster that I saw flashing past on the way to work this morning - and it put me in a bad mood for the rest of the day. Only to be made better by the complete and utter failure of the 7,500 word fic I've written to be posted for a ficathon tomorrow to open.

ITA about Tim Burton. To my way of thinking, to be done properly the books are almost unfilmable. I hesitate about going to see the movie. I love the books, and while I know that they are for kids, they aren't. Not making much sense here, I know. Give me a couple of days and I'll be back to writing fics that I want to write, not for blasted ficathons. Then I'll be happier and more with it.

Kidnap the Sandy Claws, tie him in a bag, throw him in the ocean, then see if he is sad
stoney321
Dec. 17th, 2004 02:17 pm (UTC)
Lord, I love TIm Burton. I mentioned above that he should have been the fall back, but honestly I would like to have them left untouched. Barring that, if Edward Gorley (am I doing that right? The terrific goth charcoal artist that has a comic book feel to his drawings?) should have done them.

I love love love the books. Did you know the code that exists throughout the books? We just heard about it and my son and I are going through all 11 books this holiday break to find the secret messages.

You are not alone.
mirasol
Dec. 17th, 2004 02:37 pm (UTC)
Very Foreboding Despair...
Please don't tell me things like that.

My copies are, yes, you've guessed it, in storage. The only books I have with me are my dictionary, thesaurus, an encyclopedia of fantasy, and two books of poetry.

Is it insane to go buy them again? Perhaps. Maybe I should just go buy a house so I can take everything back out of storage.
mskakaako
Dec. 17th, 2004 05:24 pm (UTC)
Try a class of monotone kids. Haha, good riddance. I'm free!!!

Jim Carrey doesn't do it for me, although he was very good in ESotSM. I liked him on In Living Color. Vera was funny. I also liked him in Ace Ventura when he knocked out the Monopoly Man and draped him over his shoulders.

Hmmm...maybe I should do terrariums with my class. Cheap and easy, you say. I can do cheap and easy. :D
( 23 comments — Leave a comment )

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Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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