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Am I Being Unreasonable?

Here's how picky I am when it comes to fanfic (or any story, really.) I'm reading along, it's pretty good, not amazing, but good. Nice pacing, characters are spot on, dialog is snappy, then one of the guys (Blaine Anderson, specifically, a 17 year old guy for anyone else who doesn't recognize that name) calls his mother MOMMY.

I ask you. Mommy? I don't like it when my own kids call me mommy, because they're teens. I hate infantilization of language for anyone that isn't, you know, an infant. ETA: Context is HERE. We're talking about a 17 YEAR OLD BOY specifically.

Poll #1752621 USING THE WORD MOMMY
This poll is closed.

Anyone that is in or beyond puberty saying MOMMY is:

totally weird.
43(43.4%)
a little strange, but I'm not put off by it.
29(29.3%)
I'm completely indifferent to the usage.
11(11.1%)
I think it's a little sweet.
11(11.1%)
WHY WOULD YOU CALL HER ANYTHING ELSE SHE IS MOMMY FOR EVER AND EVER!
5(5.1%)
perfect - I still breastfeed, too. And I'm 23.
0(0.0%)


DID YOU SEE THE CONTEXT I LINKED RIGHT BEFORE THE POLL OR WERE YOU ALL: TICKY BOX! Just checking. ;)

Like when Gwenyth Paltrow won her Oscar in that ill-fitted pink princess dress and thanked her "daddy." No. Daddies, when you're that age, are old men who visit you on the pole and bring you sparkly things.

I CAN'T BE ALONE ON THIS ONE. ...can I?

(Off topic, but the Glee recaps have begun - with cocktail recipes and a drinking game! - and Mel's Bachelorette recap is up as well. That show is CRACK. Whitney Houston crack. And I made a Whitney BOB-BAY! joke in my RHoNJ recap that no one caught and I have a sad.)

Comments

( 97 comments — Leave a comment )
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lettered
Jun. 15th, 2011 10:55 pm (UTC)
I still call my mommy mommy sometimes. I also still sometimes lean my head on her shoulder so she can stroke my hair.

I also know a guy who goes by the name "Bubba", because when he was born, his older brother couldn't say, "brother".

I feel like names are a little different when it comes to infantalization of language, because of the emotional significance attached to names. If I used to say "baba" instead of baby, it seems once I could say baby and learned how to, I should change it. But I don't want to change what I called someone I love for the first five years of my life.

But other people are entitled to think I'm weird or a freak because of it, I guess.
stoney321
Jun. 15th, 2011 10:59 pm (UTC)
Well, let me clarify the context, and see if you feel the same.

Boy A calls his mother to ask something while in a room with his boyfriend and his boyfriend's father. When he hangs up the phone he says, "Mommy said blah blah."

A quiet moment with your mother while she loves you is totally sweet. A 17 year old guy calling his mom "Mommy" not to her, but referring to her is.... I can't lie, I find it strange.
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mockingbirdq
Jun. 15th, 2011 11:00 pm (UTC)
See I'm East Texan so that word was never used in my family. Instead it was "Mama" - always and even now. The word "Mom" was reserved to be used only when describing said parent to another teenager or when extremely PO'ed at said parent.

Strangely the very Southern "Daddy" was never used in my family either. My dad was from old German stock so we always called him "Papa" which all my friends considered just weird. I have female friends in their thirties who still call their folks Mommy and Daddy though, and I will admit to hating it ;)
stoney321
Jun. 15th, 2011 11:07 pm (UTC)
Mama is what's used in my family, too. Or Mom. "Mother" is the P.O.d word, lol. (Or when my daughter is being funny and formal.)

And in my family (Texan/OK) Papa is for grandfathers. Or PeePaw or Pa(h)Pa(w) (with the accompanying Meemaw and Mamaw. Lol.
brunettepet
Jun. 15th, 2011 11:11 pm (UTC)
He is going to be sleeping in his big boy bedroom until he's in his mid-40's. Then she'll spring for a queen bed for her little prince.
stoney321
Jun. 15th, 2011 11:35 pm (UTC)
LOL x FOREVER.

The story I was reading that sparked this. I just couldn't stick it out. That kind of talk and then when guys are written to "stick their tongues out" at someone... UGH. No me gusta.
dovil
Jun. 15th, 2011 11:32 pm (UTC)
THAT'S SOME FUCKED UP SHIT, DUDE!

Double the ick factor: Parents who always refer to each other as Mother/Father, Mommy/Daddy. That's a crunched face look of disdain, right there.
stoney321
Jun. 15th, 2011 11:36 pm (UTC)
I had a wise family friend that told me that once you let your spouse call you "Mother" (or "father," I don't want to judge what happens in people's houses) the romance is GONE.

GROSS.
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gillo
Jun. 15th, 2011 11:35 pm (UTC)
My girls are 20 and 23 and usually call me "Mummy", slightly to my surprise. I don't mind it, and I don't mind that they refer to me as "My Mum" for that matter. Anything which is an improvement on "the old bat at home" or "Hey, you!" is a step in the right direction.
stoney321
Jun. 15th, 2011 11:37 pm (UTC)
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

And because I'm so very American, I - of course - find the British "Mummy" to be utterly charming.

I AM AN ONION. With stinky, make you cry layers.
killiara
Jun. 15th, 2011 11:45 pm (UTC)
I must admit, post 30, that I go out of my way to make my Dad melt by calling him 'Papa' on occasion rather than Dad. It all depends on the context, you know?
stoney321
Jun. 15th, 2011 11:52 pm (UTC)
Papa is so old school, though. That doesn't seem strange to me. I put a link to the context to which I'm referring in the post, and in that context I just think it's bizarre. To each his own, etc etc.
wesleysgirl
Jun. 15th, 2011 11:59 pm (UTC)
I voted a little strange, but I think it totally depends on the context. Like, in an extreme situation, I think it works. Buffy in The Body being a good example.
stoney321
Jun. 16th, 2011 12:06 am (UTC)
That's why I put that link to the context up there - and I TOTALLY AGREE that in the case of The Body, that's a natural and reasonable (and heartbreaking) response. And seems much more realistic for girls to talk that way, than guys.

For a 17 year old guy to say they can stay at their boyfriend's house for dinner? Weird, imo.
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enigmaticblues
Jun. 16th, 2011 12:10 am (UTC)
Oh, man. Given that context, it's fucking weird. Sometimes I refer to my mom as my mommy, but it's usually either as a joke, or to reinforce how important she is to me. For example, after someone made her cry, I might say, "No one makes my mommy cry." But in casual conversation? NO. A WORLD OF NO.
stoney321
Jun. 16th, 2011 12:33 am (UTC)
Yes - everything you've said here, MAKES SENSE TO ME.
elizardbits
Jun. 16th, 2011 12:18 am (UTC)
In that context it is hella weird but in the context of 30-y-o me whining to my mom about something vitally important like lack of pudding pops in the freezer then it is TOTALLY LEGIT.
stoney321
Jun. 16th, 2011 12:34 am (UTC)
OBV THAT IS TOTALLY DIFFERENT BECAUSE WHY ON EARTH ARE YOU OUT OF PUDDING POPS?! That's the saddest thing I've ever heard.


Now I want a pudding pop.
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stephanierb
Jun. 16th, 2011 12:18 am (UTC)

I CAN'T BE ALONE ON THIS ONE. ...can I?

NO. My first thought upon reading "Mommy" was that Blaine had some kind of creepy relationship with his mother. It's just not right.

Like when Gwenyth Paltrow won her Oscar in that ill-fitted pink princess dress and thanked her "daddy." No. Daddies, when you're that age, are old men who visit you on the pole and bring you sparkly things.

I LOL'd so hard at that. Not just because of the 'old men and pole' bits but because YES, that dress was AWFUL. Did she not have a stylist to tell her it looked terrible on her? Ugh.
stoney321
Jun. 16th, 2011 12:36 am (UTC)
YEAH, creepy relationship was EXACTLY where I went there. Blaine? MOMMY? OOC, yo. Which sucks, because up until then it was alright, and I'm running out of long, plotty stories to read, wah.

THANK YOU. That dress just emphasized the no boobs (not that there's anything wrong with being flat chested) and the dress made it look like she had HAD boobs, but someone stole them from her limo.
lady_death
Jun. 16th, 2011 12:20 am (UTC)
I know a 30 year old man married with 3 kids that calls his parents "Momma" and "Daddy", but he's a good ol' boy from North Carolina and it works coming from him. I admit anything in his accent sounds good so I'm kind of biased.

Blaine though...I just don't see it in his personality to refer to his mother that way. It doesn't fit with his private boarding school background, even if that was something he was transfered to for his personal well being wouldn't he have dropped it by associating with those kids?

Edited to add, I'm so excited for Glee recaps by you, you have no idea! You are my favourite source of television recaps on the internet.

Edited at 2011-06-16 12:23 am (UTC)
stoney321
Jun. 16th, 2011 12:40 am (UTC)
Yeah, Mama (or Momma) isn't the same as "Mommy" to me because I, too, am southern. IDK, there's something extra in Mommy that makes it weird to hear a grown boy/man use it.

I guess I should blame Dennis Hopper and "Blue Velvet" for that one, lol.

Doesn't it seem OOC for Blaine to say that?! I just backed out of that story quick, it was so offputting.

And THANK YOU! I'm super happy to know that, YAY!
gehayi
Jun. 16th, 2011 12:29 am (UTC)
I called my mother "Mommy" until she died. I was thirteen. And I called her sister--the woman who raised me--"Auntie" until her death. I mean, she had a name--Mary. But she was never "Aunt Mary" unless someone else was referring to her.

On the other hand, I started calling my father "Dad" when I was about thirteen or fourteen. So I don't know.
stoney321
Jun. 16th, 2011 12:38 am (UTC)
Auntie doesn't seem infantalized to me, because I'm Southern. Auntie this and Auntie that is how it's done here.

And I'd say 13 is a great age for deciding how you're going to proceed with your parents names, so that's not weird to me, either.

A 17 year old boy talking about her (not to her, but to others about her) and saying "My Mommy" - that doesn't strike you as a little odd?

(Also, still reeling from your wonderful poem, don't know if you saw the shoutout in my earlier post, but you moved a lot of folks. WELL DONE, YOU.)
captainofidiots
Jun. 16th, 2011 12:52 am (UTC)
There's a guy I went to school with that STILL calls his father 'daddy' and we're all nearing on 25. It's just... weird.

I do call my mom, Mama, but dad is just Dad.
stoney321
Jun. 16th, 2011 01:33 am (UTC)
Mama seems reasonable to me - there's a distinct difference between that and Mommy to my ears.
dancetomato
Jun. 16th, 2011 01:02 am (UTC)
My mom still calls her long dead father daddy. I even refer to my father as daddy, and when he died, I hadn't any communication with him for 9 years.
stoney321
Jun. 16th, 2011 01:32 am (UTC)
But would Blaine tell Burt Hummel that he just called his Mommy and said he could stay over for dinner? Because I gotta say no.

Hey, I call my dad Papasan, so I clearly have Ideas That Are Unique. Lol.
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ryokomusouka
Jun. 16th, 2011 01:09 am (UTC)
My dad is "Dad". My mom is "Mom". My kids call my dad "Papa" and my mom "Gramma". My own grandparents were "Granny and Pappy" (Texan, ya'll). My sister is "Auntie", because "Aunt Ann" is awkward. My husband (my kids' stepfather) tried to get the kids to call him "Daddy Jay" (as opposed to "Daddy Brian"), but that's more or less fallen to the wayside.

I'm "Mom" to my kids, except when my middle child is attempting to be cute and calls me "Mommy". She also has a tendency to talk about herself in the third person, which I tease her about.

But yeah - dude, gay or not, calling his Mom "Mommy" like that - weird.
stoney321
Jun. 16th, 2011 01:34 am (UTC)
Yeah, it makes me go into a Bad Place. Like, why is his mom letting him go to boarding school calling her Mommy. Does she want him beat up? Hurr. IDK I THINK IT IS ODD.
ohevet_likro
Jun. 16th, 2011 01:25 am (UTC)
Well, it might be different if a guy were doing it, but I'm in my 30s and I still call my mother "Mommy". She calls her mother "Mommy" too.
stoney321
Jun. 16th, 2011 01:34 am (UTC)
Well, I'm trying to suss out a guy saying it, so yeah. It's different. *sticking to my guns*
evewithanapple
Jun. 16th, 2011 01:27 am (UTC)
Well I call my parents Mummy and Daddy because . . . I never tried anything else,r eally. But when I'm talking to other people (or in front of other people, really) it's "my mom" or "my dad." A seventeen-year-old guy saying that in front of his boyfriend? Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyeah, I don't think so.
stoney321
Jun. 16th, 2011 01:35 am (UTC)
What you call your parents in private, yeah, that's no one's business. But talking ABOUT her to your boyfriend's dad? Nah. Not buying it.
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darkhavens
Jun. 16th, 2011 01:30 am (UTC)
Oh, Blaine, that's just not right. *g*

Having said that, my mother is Mommie Dearest. To her face, in conversation, in cards, on presents, the lot. *g*

(She has always believed Joan Crawford's daughter was exaggerating in the book, and watches the movie whenever it's on, just to pick it to pieces.)

When I was in my early teens, she blew her top over something pretty inconsequential (not wire hangers, but pretty much the same level of WTF?!) and, without even thinking, I came out with 'Yes, Mommie Dearest'.

Thankfully, there was no beating. *g* She just stared at me, and then started laughing. From that moment on, she's been Mommie Dearest or MD (she has various versions of 'mommie dearest' as her twitter account, her lj, and her email. Now, if I could just get her online so she could use them...)

She retaliated by sticking me with the handle 'Baby Jane', as in 'Whatever Happened To...'. Anyone reading our xmyth cards would be mightily confused. :D
stoney321
Jun. 16th, 2011 01:36 am (UTC)
AHAHAHAHAHA, I love it. You've known me long enough to know that I would love your pet names, didn't you?

BABY JANE! That's the greatest thing ever. (You know they sell giant gummy rats, you could take it full tilt one of these days...)
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menomegirl
Jun. 16th, 2011 01:41 am (UTC)
I don't think my son has called me mommy after he was 6 or so. But my daughter still does at times-when she's hurting or something really bad has happened.
stoney321
Jun. 16th, 2011 02:00 am (UTC)
That seems reasonable, being hurt and wanting comfort brings out the kid in all of us. But as I've written in other comments, 17 year old boy, talking to his boyfriend's father about his "mommy?" Weird.
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flaming_muse
Jun. 16th, 2011 01:44 am (UTC)
That is SO wrong and OOC to me.

So is this the super long ff.net story recced recently? (I know, I know, it's mean to ask, but I am curious.) Because I gave up after a couple of chapters for my own reasons, and I feel vindicated if so.
stoney321
Jun. 16th, 2011 02:03 am (UTC)
THANK YOU. I knew you would agree w/ me on the OOCness.

And yep, that's the one. I've had to back out of lots of fics today (I'm really trawling through the Thames here) because of the sheer need for a READER ahead of posting.

(Um, if I wanted to send a very little something I wrote tonight over to you for a read - so I don't make similar mistakes - would you have a second? It's >700 words. And I know you're busy and writing as well, so I really WILL NOT be offended if you can't. I get it, babies, life, etc.)
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(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Jun. 16th, 2011 02:21 am (UTC)
Or a 17 year old boy talking to his boyfriend's dad (who is a mechanic and all shades of macho) about how "his mommy" said he could stay for dinner.

That is STILL CREEPING ME OUT.
rocketlaunching
Jun. 16th, 2011 02:38 am (UTC)
I'm a huge daddy's girl and I still call my father daddy at 20. I also call my mother mommy, especially when I'm sick. But I don't do it in front of people. I think that's the difference.
stoney321
Jun. 16th, 2011 02:41 am (UTC)
And I agree with you.
nothingseasy4u
Jun. 16th, 2011 03:13 am (UTC)
Sweet burping Cthulhu on a pimped out pogo stick in Poughkeepsie. That is just...gah I don't even know how to express my feeling of "what the fuck is that?!" That's like this woman I used to work with who had a 16 year old that she still tucked into bed every night......what the shit is with people these days?
stoney321
Jun. 16th, 2011 03:28 am (UTC)
I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON, DOWN IS UP, RIGHT IS LEFT!!
minim_calibre
Jun. 16th, 2011 03:52 am (UTC)
Was it an English Boarding School AU? Because I think my 15 year old nephew would use Mom, but never Mommy.

I do sometimes slip and call Mother Mommy/Mum, but usually, I call her Esther. Or Mother.

Dad's just Dad. I don't know that he's ever been Daddy. Father, sometimes. Ron, when speaking about him.

stoney321
Jun. 16th, 2011 04:05 am (UTC)
Ha! No, not English boarding school, but Ohio USA boarding school. :D

I call my dad by his first name when talking about him to other people (typically in a professional manner,) otherwise he's just Dad or "My dad" to people.
txvoodoo
Jun. 16th, 2011 04:15 am (UTC)
After reading a lot of comments, I think it's highly depending on context - either culturally, or family habit.
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Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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