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Dear writers: (mostly of fanfic)

Maybe this will help.

  • occasion: there is no ass in an occasion. Or at least, there shouldn't be.

  • pored over/poured over: pored over a story/words. Like you fell in because it's a big ol' nasty pore like on one's face. Pore=hole, pour=spill. You would have poured milk all over your cereal, you would have pored over the pages of a fantastic tale.

  • then/than: then is time, than is a comparison. I then left to a drug-fueled orgy rather than attend church with Mother.

  • its/it's: if you see an apostrophe SAY OUT LOUD: it is. Doesn't fit? Drop the apostrophe. It's quite simple: the gimp brought its cock ring to the occasion. We all pored over the instruction manual, then poured oil over its gears rather than the carpeting. The party went off without a hitch, regardless of the ass that came to this occasion. Who brings a donkey to a leather party? That's clearly unacceptable. (Tijuana/linen parties only, my lands!)

See?

When all else fails, READ WHAT YOU WROTE OUT LOUD. And please get someone else to read it before posting.

Love, someone who wrote "Hedwig and the Angry ITCH" yesterday and had another set of eyes catch it. It happens to all of us at some point. If you're doing the same thing over and over again every time? Make a point of getting a beta. It's not a sign of defeat or weakness, quite the opposite, actually.

Comments

( 36 comments — Leave a comment )
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elizardbits
Jun. 18th, 2011 06:09 pm (UTC)
a small selection of my neverending list of this shit:

scrape goat instead of scapegoat
escape goat instead of scapegoat
prostrate interchangeably with prostate
loose interchangeably with lose
rice patties instead of rice paddies
peace meal instead of piecemeal
free rain instead of free reign
kita0610
Jun. 18th, 2011 06:19 pm (UTC)
Omfg for some reason loose/lose makes me insane with rage.
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... - stoney321 - Jun. 18th, 2011 06:31 pm (UTC) - Expand
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... - elizardbits - Jun. 18th, 2011 06:29 pm (UTC) - Expand
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(Deleted comment)
dancetomato
Jun. 18th, 2011 06:15 pm (UTC)
If you are British and writing a story about Americans in America, get an American beta to Britpick your story. If you are American and writing Harry Potter fic, get a Brit to Ameripick your story. This is the second J2 Big Bang I've read in as many days, both of which were clearly written by Brits. Good stories, but it throws me out of the story to be confronted with Jensen wearing a jumper.
stoney321
Jun. 18th, 2011 06:26 pm (UTC)
DITTO. It cracks me up to see "whilst" when in reference to an American jock, or the Brit equivalent error.

LOL and Jensen wearing a jumper. I bet he says "I say!" a lot and tosses of "cheers!" when he leaves his "mates" as well.
... - drvsilla - Jun. 18th, 2011 07:28 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
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kita0610
Jun. 18th, 2011 06:17 pm (UTC)
Your oppressing my freedom of speach.
stoney321
Jun. 18th, 2011 06:27 pm (UTC)
AHAHAHAHAHA.
a_mistletoe
Jun. 18th, 2011 06:52 pm (UTC)
I recently read a Spangel story where Angel pushed Spike towards the saprophagous. I immediately thought of you. I dread to think how the spellchecker got to that answer rather then the sarcophagus intended.
stoney321
Jun. 18th, 2011 07:04 pm (UTC)
WHAT ON EARTH?!?!?!?! Ahahahahaha! One of the better auto-checks ever. I blame cell phones. And poor childhood diets.
drvsilla
Jun. 18th, 2011 07:15 pm (UTC)
I think you're the first person to ever 1/ notice these things with mild annoyance and 2/ point it out.

INTERESTING.
stoney321
Jun. 18th, 2011 08:18 pm (UTC)
I FEEL LIKE A PIONEER IN THE FIELD.
... - maybe1ce - Jun. 18th, 2011 08:59 pm (UTC) - Expand
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maybe1ce
Jun. 18th, 2011 08:53 pm (UTC)

Also: "balling" ones eyes out--I do not think this word means what you think it means.

bienegold
Jun. 18th, 2011 11:06 pm (UTC)
Peek/peak/pique is one of my big pet peeves.
txvoodoo
Jun. 18th, 2011 11:13 pm (UTC)
http://txvoodoo.livejournal.com/tag/grammar

Especially THIS: http://txvoodoo.livejournal.com/1096432.html — it's from 2009 and we keep adding to it, to our deep sadness.
mpoetess
Jun. 18th, 2011 11:15 pm (UTC)
Occasions that don't have asses are not worth attending, Stoney.
herald_mari
Jun. 18th, 2011 11:34 pm (UTC)
>>occasion: there is no ass in an occasion. Or at least, there shouldn't be

Hey, you never know what the occasion might be. It might call for an ass. LOL!

And Hedwig might have an angry itch. Which would make me stay out of the way of owl talon and beak. ;)

But yes, amen, sister! The one that kills me (okay there's two) that kill me and will have me thinking about killing people with rusty sporks is there/their. (You're/your is the other one.) I see this in published work and I cry. Like Hedwig and his bad itch.
captainofidiots
Jun. 19th, 2011 02:26 am (UTC)
I want to print out this entire post on flyers and hand them out to everyone ever, omg. At the very least, to everyone on my Facebook. You're/your and there/their/they're makes me twitch a lot. Not alot, though, because that drives me crazy too. :)
mrmonkeybottoms
Jun. 19th, 2011 05:37 am (UTC)
So many people I talk to say, "I seen him yesterday" and it drives me crazy. :(
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Jun. 19th, 2011 02:15 pm (UTC)
Ha!

Oh, Anne, I have seen several of these in papers lately, too! I mean, sure. Blogs, etc., it's just a blog, mistakes happen. But in a published NYT article?! And we both know the horrorshow that Anne Rice's writing turned into once she deemed herself above editing. Yow.

I'm surprised about the Globe - I usually relax reading it, the standards seem to be pretty high there!
(Deleted comment)
janedavitt
Jun. 19th, 2011 02:30 pm (UTC)
The 'it's'/'its' one drives me insane because it's so easy a rule to remember.

I also read a fair bit of BDSM and get perplexed by people in stories called the 'Dominate'. Er, that's what they do, not what they are...
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( 36 comments — Leave a comment )

Tags

Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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