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Author: Stoney
Title: And I Hear It's Good For Your Skin, Too [One-shot] [...probably]
Rating: R for lascivious thoughts, lol
Warnings: You're going to want a massage after this. You should get one, they're boss.
Word Count 5100+
Summary: Blaine Anderson wins an office pool and gets a massage. Hey, guess who his masseur is? Blaine kind of gets into it. A lot.
A/N: This is to put a smile on my lovely flaming_muse who had her first PROPER MASSAGE today. Um, I'm guessing she didn't have this experience. But if she did, I would like to book an appointment at her spa ASAP. Shameless massage shenanigans within, unbeta'd which - I know, I know, shame on me.




And I Hear It's Good For Your Skin, Too


“Blaine?”

Blaine looked up from the holistic magazine he was flipping through. He looked around for the source of the oddly melodic voice and startled as he saw a handsome, tall, thin man in white jeans and a white v-neck approaching him with a benign smile on his face.

The man stuck his hand out. “I'm Kurt. Have you had a massage before?”

Blaine shook his hand, pleased by the firm – but not too firm, like he had something to prove – grip and his dry, soft hand. “Um, no, I haven't,” he laughed nervously, running a hand along the back of his neck, the tips of his fingers digging into his thick, dark hair at his nape. “I sort of won an office pool, so...”

Kurt smiled at him as he held open the swinging door that led to the back of the spa in order to allow Blaine to walk through first. The hall was lined in thick carpeting, the walls a soothing light color and trimmed in dark wood. Blaine imagined this was “zen design,” and wondered if he could redo his bathroom in these colors before he was jolted back to the present by a warm hand gently resting on his back, encouraging him to walk through the doorway.

In his soothing tone, Kurt said, “We get that a lot. It's a good way to introduce people to the health benefits of massage. Well, I'll let you know that I'm here to help you relax, and it's okay for you to tell me what works and more importantly, what doesn't. Door number four on the right.”

Blaine pushed open the door indicated and was met with a taller than usual bed covered in comfy looking bedding, the lights dimmed low, and some music that sounded like pan flutes and rivers. He turned and nervously looked back at his masseur, not sure what to do.

Kurt smiled softly. “I'll step out and let you disrobe, as much as your comfortable with. Then-”

“Um, how much do people normally get, uh, you know...naked?” Blaine was starting to freak out a little.

Kurt continued in his soothing, quiet tones. “Well, most people who are comfortable with massage don't wear anything. You will always be covered, with the exception of what part of your body we're working on. But if you're not comfortable with that, it's not a problem. I'll just...” he indicated with his head that he'd be outside. “Oh, and let's have you start face up, just slip under the covers and I'll come in when you're ready.”

Blaine looked around the room, not really sure about any of this. The guys at the office had gone on and on about how great massage was, but Blaine had gotten the impression that Bill had some hot lady that was giving him a massage massage, and he just felt kind of weird about the whole thing. Getting naked and some stranger putting their hands all over him? And then the stranger turns out to not be some 6' 4” former shot putting Ukrainian woman with a huge wart on her lip, which was less daunting, but... Hmm. Having a really attractive man with a soft and soothing voice wasn't helping, either. He had nice, broad shoulders, though. Slim waist, too. Why was Blaine thinking about that? Oh, right, because it was either stand around and wonder if that creamy skin extended under the white v-neck, or Blaine could get naked and try to not make an ass of himself.

He took a deep breath and pulled his polo over his head and laid it on the chair in the corner of the room, toeing off his shoes – Bill told him to wear simple footwear - and slipping them under the chair. Biting his lip, he pulled his jeans and boxer briefs down in one fluid motion, folded them up and set them on his shirt. He jumped up onto the table and slipped as far down as he could, the blanket up to his arm pits and his eyes screwed shut tight. This was really weird. So...he was supposed to just lay there?

After a moment, there was a faint knock on the door. Blaine cleared his throat and said, “Yeah,” softly, then repeated it a little louder when he realized Kurt hadn't heard him the first time. The door opened quietly and he could hear the sound of Kurt rubbing something into his hands.

“Do you have any allergies for things like cedar, or...?”

“Um, no, only allergic to being embarrassed, ha ha,” Blaine laughed, lamely.

“Mm hm. Okay, just relax.”

Blaine inhaled sharply, staring at the ceiling, and exhaled brokenly.

Kurt picked up a round bolster pillow from under the massage table and lifted up Blaine's feet, sliding the pillow under his knees. “Better?”

“Um, yeah. Yes, thank you.”

Kurt moved behind Blaine's head and began pressing the tips of his fingers into Blaine's temples, then working down to the thick muscle at the corner of his jaw, forcing Blaine's mouth open. He didn't realize how tense his face was, that was crazy – also, that felt really good. This guy had amazing hands; firm, but the pressure wasn't hurting. Huh.

Kurt massaged the side of Blaine's face and along Blaine's brow line for a moment before working his hands through Blaine's hair, massaging his scalp. Blaine bit his lip, trying to not make any noises, but that really was one of his favorite things, and he was so glad he hadn't put any product in his hair because christ that was nice. He told himself to breathe deeply, keeping his eyes closed. He reminded himself to close his mouth and breath through his nose, worried for a minute that he looked like an idiot with his mouth hanging open as Kurt loomed over his face. He smelled nice – clean. Why was Blaine noticing how this guy smelled? That was probably weird.

Kurt moved his hands under Blaine's head, tugging a little to stretch his neck out then working the knots at the base of his head.

“Do you stare at a computer monitor a lot?”

“Hm?” Blaine asked. “Oh, yes. Lately, yes.”

“I can tell. Is it canted to the right?”

Blaine started a bit, then replied, “Uh, yeah?”

Kurt held the weight of Blaine's head in his left hand, his right hand working in circles pressing into the side of his neck, down the top of his shoulder and back again. Blaine began to breathe deeply, trying to time it with the slide of Kurt's hand over the knot in his shoulder, letting out a deep sigh when he felt it go.

Kurt laid both of his hands on Blaine's shoulder, his voice sounding like it was only inches from Blaine's ear and sending a shiver down Blaine's body. “That's better, isn't it?”

“God, yes.” He was not going to nuzzle this stranger's cheek, no matter how freaking amazing that just felt. Or how freaking amazing that sounded. Or how unbelievably good this guy smelled. That was inappropriate. Probably. Rosemary! That was the smell. Focus, focus on breathing. Not breathing him in. Good hell.

Blaine could hear the sound of a pump working, then Kurt was sliding his hands over the thick rounds of Blaine's shoulders, pressing and massaging the muscles across his chest, only to slip back under his body, Kurt's strong forearms parallel to Blaine's spine, lifting him up and pulling backwards, relaxing him further.

Blaine moaned, then clapped a hand over his mouth. “I'm sorry, that just feels amazing.”

A quiet laugh that made something pool warmly in Blaine's stomach was Kurt's response.

“I get that a lot; it's okay. It's supposed to feel amazing.”

“Well, it does, so I'll just shut up and let you get back to it.”

Blaine forced his eyes shut, blaming the heat in his face on the warm blankets piled on his body and the heating pad under him. It certainly wasn't from the little peek he took as Kurt worked his hands back over Blaine's chest only to circle back and around his shoulders, seeing bright blue eyes and perfectly coiffed hair that looked like Blaine's two hands could just sink right into it up to his wrists. It wasn't that. At all.

Blaine began to unwind further as Kurt's ministrations moved to his arms. Kurt took Blaine's forearm and draped it over his knee working his hands into Blaine's triceps and around to his bicep. Blaine moaned a little, then said, “I hope I'm not too tense there, I've started working out again. Um...I just mean I've been sore.”

He really should shut up.

Kurt hummed softly. Blaine chanced a peek and saw that Kurt was smiling. Oh. Well.

“I can tell; you've got a lot of tension just here.” Kurt did something with his fingers near Blaine's armpit and he felt his entire arm relax.

“That's... oh my god.”

“You're actually nice to work on; with your definition, I can really get into the muscle and see that it's working.”

Blaine didn't know why, but that made him feel a little proud. Like Kurt was admiring him. Okay, he needed to rein it in, because that was probably more about Kurt's ability than Blaine's nice arms, no matter how much he wanted to think that was the case. He licked his lips and kept his eyes shut. But...what was the harm, right? If he wanted to think this cute guy liked his arms? Also, how did he not realize just how sore his arms were? And how soon could he come back and maybe he needed to increase his weights and see if that changed how Kurt worked him over. Because he was coming back. This was now a necessary part of living, Blaine was deciding.

Kurt pressed the pads of his thumbs into Blaine's forearms, stripping them of all the tension as he worked. Blaine peeked through his lashes when he heard a chair move, seeing Kurt swivel a stool next to the bed. Kurt took Blaine's hand in his and began massaging the palm, radiating out to each finger. When Kurt tugged on Blaine's ring finger, he said softly, “I'm glad you didn't wear your ring, it prevents me from getting all of your fingers.”

“Oh, I don't have a ring.”

“Mm.”

Okay, that was interesting. Blaine was kind of hoping that this guy was fishing a little. Because he had never given it thought before, but now he couldn't help but imagine how amazing it would be to date a masseur. Talk about relaxing at home... But then, how rude would that be? All day Kurt was working his fingers to the bone, only to come home and have Blaine demand more? Then again, Kurt could show him how to do some of this, and maybe Blaine could lay Kurt out, running his hands over Kurt's lithe form, maybe getting some groans and moans out of him, all breathy and high and--

What? Blaine bit back a laugh; he seriously needed to just relax and not project a whole relationship of needy Blaine on this poor guy. This really good looking guy with hands that did amazing things. Strong, large hands. Hands that did some really outstanding things. Christ.

Kurt finished up on the other hand and that's when Blaine felt the blankets move.

“I'm going to work on your legs now, okay?”

“Yeah, uh, that's fine.”

Kurt flipped the blanket off Blaine's right leg, keeping everything from half-way up his thigh covered and warm. Blaine heard the lotion pump again, and tried to keep lewd thoughts at bay because sweet Jehoshaphat, his entire foot was in both of Kurt's soft hands and they were so warm and he didn't even realize that his feet had been hurting until they weren't hurting and why was he scared about this whole thing? This was maybe the best thing he'd ever done for himself.

“Not ticklish?”

Blaine groaned, “Oh, no, not at all. You can do that forever.”

“Hm, well, eventually we're going to have to see how those calves are doing, so...”

Calves? Blaine swallowed and screwed his eyes shut tight, trying to not put the cart before the horse. Big, warm hands on his calves, and then they'd move up even higher and...

There was nothing but a sheet draped over his groin; he really needed to relax and start thinking about his Nana eating fruitcake or picking in her ear, because no. He was not going to get a hard on while getting a massage by this beautiful creature that was touching him in the most awesome way Blaine had ever been touched. They'd probably throw him out in the street naked as punishment for being so disgusting.

He exhaled slowly. Okay, that worked.

Except for how Kurt was now bending his leg, leaning against it and pressing it up towards Blaine's torso. For the love of...

“Do you stretch after working out?”

Blaine blinked, unable to not look at Kurt's face – his really handsome face where it was filled with nice skin and a rosy mouth and really blue eyes and good god, he had a cleft in his chin, just a tiny one and that was something Blaine didn't know he was into and this wonderful face just happened to be a few inches from his own, and Blaine's leg was resting on his god damn shoulder and then Kurt continued leaning towards him, stretching out Blaine's hamstring. And then Jesus jumped up...Kurt licked his bottom lip. He was just inches from Blaine's face.

“Uh...”

Kurt looked deeply into his eyes. “You should really make a point of doing that.”

“Yeah. I will. Um.”

Thankfully (sadly?) Kurt put his leg back down and covered it with the sheet again, running his hand down the length of it as he moved to Blaine's other side, because Blaine had two of them – sides - and evidently the gods were cruel. Or kind, he couldn't decide. And he tried to keep his eyes closed, he really did, and he made it all the way through the second foot massage without moaning out loud, and only whimpered a little bit when Kurt worked the knots out of his shins, but then Blaine heard a small grunt from Kurt just as he was stretching Blaine's leg – again, Blaine's ankle hooked over Kurt's shoulder, and didn't that just paint a vivid picture in Blaine's mind – and Kurt's mouth was parted, and his lips were really pink, and his eyes were closed and he had the prettiest, longest lashes...

“Are you okay? Am I pushing too hard?”

Blaine slammed his eyes shut when Kurt opened his. He couldn't even imagine what he must look like. “Nope, no, not at all, that feels amazing. Just...whatever you're doing, you can keep right on doing.” Blaine coughed perfunctorily and focused on breathing slowly.

“Are you sure?”

“Yep! Fine. I'm great. Never better.” Gonna go home with the bluest balls ever, but for now I am perfect-amundo.

He heard Kurt shift, the blanket covered his leg again, and then Kurt was standing by his side, holding the blanket up. Dear god, had the worst happened? Was Blaine...hard? Was Kurt looking? Was he about to get thrown out and shamed?

“Roll over towards me so we can get started on your back. This way, if you're too loopy from the massage--” Kurt smiled at him. “--I'll be able to catch you before you roll off onto the floor.”

“Oh, right. Right.”

Blaine flipped himself over, thankful that if he did sport any wood, he could keep it hidden. Kurt fiddled with the edge of the bed, pushing something into the end.

“Go ahead and scoot up here, and rest your face on this.”

Blaine was confronted with a padded circle. He wriggled his way up to it, pressing his forehead into the cushion.

“Comfy?”

“Yesh.”

“Do you want me to work on your glutes?”

“I'm shorry?” Blaine pushed up from the donut-shaped pillow and turned to look at Kurt. Did he just catch Kurt checking out his ass?

“Your glutes?” Kurt nodded towards Blaine's posterior. Oh.

“Um, sure, I guess? Is that normal?”

Kurt covered his mouth briefly, hiding his smile. “Yes. It's normal. I promise that everything that should be covered will stay covered.”

“Oh. Okay, then?” He hoped he didn't sound disappointed. He shouldn't be disappointed. Why was Blaine disappointed? Kurt was about to touch his ass. Well, in a purely clinical way, but hey, he was face down, he might as well relax and enjoy this. He put his face back down on the round cushion, sucking in a little spit as his cheeks pressed into the sides of the support. Real smooth.

Kurt uncovered his leg again, working in long strokes up the back of his leg to the base of his ass, pressing his entire forearm into the muscle. Blaine couldn't help it, he groaned.

“That feelsh amazing, oh my god.” He quietly tried to suck in more spit. These tables weren't as sexy as he'd been led to believe. Not face down, at least.

“Turning you into a believer, am I?”

“Oh yesh.” Blaine hummed out a bar of “I'm a believer,” laughing at himself and smiling a bit when he heard a breathy laugh from Kurt. Kurt cleared his throat and Blaine took a moment to gloat before groaning as Kurt continued his long, powerful strokes up the back of Blaine's thigh.

Blaine's hands dangled limply from the sides of the table as Kurt moved further and further up his leg. He felt the blanket shift more and had a moment of panic before feeling Kurt slide the edge of the sheet under his leg, pulling it up between them so his genitals remained covered. It was a little daunting, knowing his ass was bare - well, half of it - and this guy was about to put his hands all over it.

But then...it was pretty awesome, too. Especially when Kurt began kneading the thick muscle there, eliciting a wanton groan from Blaine. He couldn't help himself; it felt like magic. Kurt was like a professional ass massager. Blaine wondered if this was the endorphin dump Bill had warned him about. He told his mental self to shut the hell up and just enjoy this.

There was a little pain as Kurt worked out knots at the base of Blaine's back at the top curve of the thick muscle.

“Hmm, you're going to need to come back and have these worked more," Kurt said. "There's a lot of crystallization in your muscles. Make sure you drink a lot of water when you leave, okay?”

“Mm hm,” Blaine moaned. Oh, he'd be back. He'd come back tomorrow if he could have this whole experience repeated. He bit his lip when Kurt was bent flush over his body, working his hand and his forearm into Blaine's glutes, aware of the heat pouring off Kurt's body. Kurt should just lay right on top of Blaine, just let all of that awesome warmth seep right in--

Er, was that a normal reaction? Wanting to have this guy just climb on top of him and kiss him breathless? Because that was the reaction Blaine was having, and he was getting to a point where he might need to make something happen, because seriously, this guy's hands were like...other-worldly.

Kurt moved back and put the sheet back to rights and Blaine came down off his high briefly. Okay, maybe it was just the intimacy of having someone rubbing your naked body. It wasn't every day that Blaine Anderson was naked with a strange and beautiful man with hands in new and exciting places. Well, thinking it didn't hurt anything, Blaine supposed. And then, because Mother Nature was unbelievably awesome by making sure he was born a biped, Kurt started the whole glorious process on the other side.

He was having ridiculously naughty thoughts at this point, especially when he felt Kurt's hair brush against the small of his back as he manhandled Blaine's ass. Blaine thought to himself, Yeah, that's right. I have a big, strong ass and it's wearing you down, isn't it, baby? You work those hands. Get that arm up in there, too. You want to grunt, don't you? You want to just let it all out, and by god, you can, mister. He smiled to himself, his face still pressed in the ridiculous donut thing. What was the harm, after all? Blaine could just lie there and let his mind go; maybe that was the key to him really relaxing?

Kurt covered his legs back with the blanket, running his hand down the backs of them to warm them back up and let his hand trail along the Blaine's side until he could flip the blanket down and expose Blaine's back. Blaine shivered a little.

“Cold?”

“Um, no-- Well, maybe a bit. Jusht shocked me, that'sh all.” Stupid spit. There really was no way to sound cool with his face smashed into that dumb cushion.

“Well, let's just warm you back up, then.”

Kurt put his knee on the bed next to Blaine's side and laid both hands flat against Blaine's broad back. He started kneading the thick muscles at Blaine's shoulder blades, pulling and pressing, his hands circling back to repeat the whole process.

“Breathe in time with the pressure, okay? It'll help.”

Blaine became even more aware of the circling pressure on his back, breathing in deeply as Kurt flattened his hands, circling up from the base of Blaine's back, up along his spine, and exhaling when Kurt pressed in under the flat edge of the bone of his shoulder blade, running the ball of his thumbs down, only to flatten his hand and repeat the whole wonderful process over again, moving higher and higher. Blaine tried to not be aware of Kurt's knee right by his ribcage, tried to not imagine Kurt swinging his other leg over, straddling him and working his hands up Blaine's back, squeezing his shoulders, pressing his face against Blaine's neck, grinding himself against Blaine's ass as he whispered hotly in Blaine's ear that this could be a “full release” massage if he wanted.

Well, he tried to not think that for all of a nanosecond.

Kurt shifted away, keeping the flat of his hand on Blaine's back as he moved to stand by Blaine's head. Blaine opened his eyes and looked through the center hole of the cushion and was confronted with Kurt's feet. His really large feet. Blaine bit his lip as he looked higher – long, lean legs in white jeans, and Blaine was going to undo all that work Kurt just did if he kept straining to look higher. He sighed and shifted his face back into a comfortable position as Kurt began working on his shoulders again, putting all of his weight into the motion.

It really did feel amazing. He wanted to maybe slip his hands out from under the blanket and reach forward, grabbing Kurt's hips and holding him close. Just hold him, because anyone that could make him feel this amazing deserved a cuddle, what was wrong with tha-ha-haat, dear lord, that was a knot Blaine didn't even realize he had been carrying around, right at the base of his neck and shoulder.

“Better, hm?”

Blaine wanted to cry it felt so good. “Mm hm.”

“You can let it out.”

Blaine twisted his face a little in the cushion before settling back into position. “What?”

“Noise. It's natural to moan. I've actually had people cry in here before.”

“I bet you have...” Blaine muttered.

Kurt continued rolling his hands over Blaine's broad shoulders, loosening him up further. He flattened both hands and ran them all the way down to Blaine's waist – Blaine held his breath at the warmth from Kurt's torso right over him – and then back up, tugging the blanket with him. Kurt stepped away and rubbed his hands over his back again, warming him back up through the blanket.

Softly, he spoke. “Okay. I hope that helped. I'll just be outside waiting for you. Take your time getting up and getting dressed, there's no hurry.”

Dressed? Oh, right. Clothes. Those were a thing. Blaine rolled over, rubbing a hand on his face, knowing he had a huge, dopey grin plastered there. “That was... I've probably used the word amazing enough, haven't I?”

Kurt smiled, laughing a little, but in a good natured way. “That's okay, that just means I did my job.”

Job. Right. This was Kurt's job. Blaine came back to earth with a crashing thud as the door silently closed. He lay on his back, blinking into the semi-darkness, feeling like a bag of wet noodles. He laughed a little, forced himself to standing, and stumbled as he tried to tug his clothes back on. There was a mirror against the door; he checked his face, rubbing at the marks left from the face support. His hair was in crazy curls standing straight up. He sighed and tried to flatten them as best as he could.

The carpet was soft on his feet and--

Shoes, right. He went back to the chair and slipped his shoes back on, noticing the little sign tucked away indicating how much an average tip was. Well, he wasn't going to be average. He pulled his wallet out of the back of his jeans and grabbed twice the amount on the card, then stopped himself. Would Kurt think that was odd? He didn't want to be weird about it. Generous, yes, but creepy generous? Was there such a thing as creepy generous? Probably.

He put some of the money back – still a good tip, but nothing weird, he hoped - and slipped it into the envelope, taken from the stack that was discretely tucked away by the essential oils.

He opened the door to find Kurt standing there, biting on his thumb. As soon as the door opened, Kurt straightened up, his nervous look replaced with a bland smile. Oh, was it now? Blaine leaned one arm against the doorway, a little bit of a swagger in his smile. He handed over the envelope to Kurt with what he hoped was a charming gesture.

“That was outstanding. I need to do this more often.”

“Yes, actually, you do,” Kurt replied, handing him a bottle of water after cracking the lid off. “I would recommend you come back every week, and for the next one, I'd say you need two hours. You're very tense and it would do you a world of good. And thank you,” Kurt smiled at the envelope and tucked it away in his pocket.

He didn't even open it and see how awesome Blaine was at tipping.

“Two hours?” Blaine said. “Hoo, I think I'd pass out. But it sounds awesome! So...when is your next available appointment?”

Kurt was...blushing? “I'm sorry, but this was my last day here.”

“Are you going to a different location?” Blaine was flailing internally. He told himself to shut up, he was sounding like a creepy stalker. He just wanted to sound supportive, and hey, people like Kurt needed a steady client base, right? That wouldn't be weird? “Because I don't mind driving, not for something that makes me feel that relaxed.”

Blaine tried to make his grin relaxed, like, hey, massage? Pretty cool. You know. For some naked hot dude rubbing-- Hey, massage? It was all right, he guessed? Dear god, please don't let his face look as desperate as he felt.

Kurt coughed a little, covering his mouth with his hand. “Um, no actually. I'm opening my own spa. No more physical labor for me,” he smiled.

“Oh. Well.” Blaine felt like he'd been sucker-punched.

Kurt looked down the hallway, seeming to decide something. “Here's my card. We'll be open in a few weeks. Just in time for you to come in and have Kelly work you. I've trained her on my little shiatsu-Swedish technique you had today.”

Blaine took the card, barely giving it a glance. “Oh, okay, then. Well, thank you.” He stretched his arm out, rotating his shoulder a little to show how loose he was. “That was still amazing, even if I'm not going to get a repeat, ha ha.”

Kurt looked like he was trying to keep himself from saying something; he kept glancing at Blaine's hand, the one with the card in it.

“Just be sure to drink a lot of water today, okay? And, um, don't lose my card!” Kurt walked to the reception desk, giving Blaine a little half wave.

Blaine felt crestfallen. Well, it had been a lovely fantasy while it lasted, and he could already see himself replaying that whole experience later tonight when he was all alone in bed. All by his lonesome. Maybe he could stop off at the store and pick up some rosemary scented lotion. God, he really was being creepy, wasn't he?

Blaine smiled and drank some of his water, holding it up to show Kurt he was being good and following instructions. Some of them, at least. He pushed through the heavy wooden doors, blinking back at the glaring sun. He walked the short distance to his car, flopped in the front seat and finally looked down at the card Kurt had handed him. It had a hand written phone number on the back with the words, “It would be unethical for me to give you my number if I was still your masseur.” Kurt had doodled a winking smiley face next to the number.

Blaine looked up and over at the spa doors, an even dopier grin spreading across his face. Oh, he'd be calling Kurt, that was for sure. He wiggled his toes, sighing at how relaxed he felt again. Yep, getting a massage was the best thing he'd been forced into, ever.

Comments

( 161 comments — Leave a comment )
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flaming_muse
Dec. 29th, 2011 05:11 pm (UTC)
No, this was not what happened at the spa today for me (lovely though the experience was) but OH MY GOD THIS IS AWESOME AND PERFECT AND ADORABLE AND HOT AND I LOVE YOU AND THIS IS WHY WE SHOULD BOTH LIVE AT THE SPA AND MAKE ART AND HELP PEOPLE.

Thank you thank you thank you this is awesome and a surprise and an AWESOME SURPRISE and thank you thank you thank you!!!! Kurt gave him his number! I was all D: D: D: when Kurt said he was leaving and wouldn't be giving massages anymore, but of course I should have trusted you!
stoney321
Dec. 29th, 2011 05:15 pm (UTC)
AHAHAHAHA, if this had happened at your spa today I WOULD BE ON A FLIGHT IN AN HOUR, READY TO STORM YOUR SPA LOOKING FOR KURT.

WE SHOULD LIVE THERE AND DO ALL OF THAT, now get in my Navigator and be adorable. Wait...

ALWAYS TRUST IN ME!!! <3 <3 <3
... - Kathleen Gunderson - Feb. 24th, 2012 09:22 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Feb. 24th, 2012 10:41 pm (UTC) - Expand
timba
Dec. 29th, 2011 05:14 pm (UTC)
Oh, man, I want a massage so badly right now.

That was so cute! Poor embarrassed Blaine.
stoney321
Dec. 29th, 2011 05:19 pm (UTC)
One week and I have a lovely 2 hour massage scheduled. They are ESSENTIAL FOR YOUR WELL BEING. This I believe. :D

Thank you for reading! Hee, embarrassing Blaine was exceptionally fun.
... - timba - Dec. 29th, 2011 05:22 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Dec. 29th, 2011 05:25 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - timba - Dec. 29th, 2011 05:27 pm (UTC) - Expand
samueljames
Dec. 29th, 2011 05:17 pm (UTC)
Gorgeous fic.
stoney321
Dec. 29th, 2011 05:19 pm (UTC)
Aww, thank you!
wowbright
Dec. 29th, 2011 05:35 pm (UTC)
So glad Kurt's no longer a masseur do he doesn't have to worry about that stinking code of ethics. Loved all the naughty thoughts and desire to cuddle!
stoney321
Dec. 29th, 2011 05:49 pm (UTC)
hahaha, so's Blaine! :D Thank you for reading and laughing with me, hee!
isaduffy
Dec. 29th, 2011 05:37 pm (UTC)
i got SOO EXCITED when i saw you wrote something new. this is amazing, hahaah I LOVE IT. but yeah, imagery is gorgeous and i'm not sure if you've just gotten multiple massages, or you're just amazing at research but it was all perfect.
stoney321
Dec. 29th, 2011 05:48 pm (UTC)
I am a HUGE believer in massage. I get a two hour massage every month, come hell or high water. I haven't had a Kurt yet, but I will run away and tweet that I have whenever I find him. :D

So glad you enjoyed this, THANK YOU! (Now go book yourself a massage. *G*)
selenityshiroi
Dec. 29th, 2011 05:37 pm (UTC)
Guhhhhhh...

Also, I love the way you ended this! (I may have been thinking throughout this fic 'yes, Blaine, I totally sympathise with your arousal, because DAMN Kurt, but wait until you aren't paying him before you jump that man and make good use out of his fine, fine hands')
stoney321
Dec. 29th, 2011 05:49 pm (UTC)
HAHA - I mean, poor Blaine, was he never to experience the bliss again? Kurt doesn't think so. :D Thank you so much for reading!
amyryd
Dec. 29th, 2011 05:42 pm (UTC)
Read awesome story by Stoney? - Check

Laugh uproariously at the following lines:

- Gonna go home with the bluest balls ever, but for now I am perfectamundo - Check
- And then, because Mother Nature was seriously awesome by making sure he was born a biped, Kurt started the whole glorious process on the other side. - Check

Make appointment for a massage on Saturday - Check!

Tee hee! Glorious as always. And you have absolutely captured all of the elements of a massage, from the awkward face pillow to the stumbly, too bright feeling when it is all over.

I have gotten so used to you doing Kurt's interior monologue it was fun seeing you get inside Blaine's head. His wonderfully curly, adorable head!
stoney321
Dec. 29th, 2011 05:51 pm (UTC)
I'm SO GLAD YOU LAUGHED, omg. Also, so glad you are planning on booking your own massage, I AM A HUGE BELIEVER IN THEM FOR HEALTHY LIVING. <3

Whee, glad you didn't find my Blaine lacking, he gets a little fumbly in the presence of Kurt's perfection, don't you know. :D
mander3_swish
Dec. 29th, 2011 05:47 pm (UTC)
oh gawd, I've been craving a massage for the past couple of weeks, but my usual place it booked into Feb *cries*
I know what I'll be thinking of next time I go though ;P
stoney321
Dec. 29th, 2011 08:02 pm (UTC)
NO RUBS UNTIL FEBRUARY?! That is cruel and unusual punishment! *riots on your behalf*

Ahahaha. <3 Thank you for reading!
war_of_ataraxis
Dec. 29th, 2011 06:01 pm (UTC)
Oh my god, Blaine's internal monologue just killed me -- I'd imagine getting a massage would make me feel rather loopy and cuddly too. Ive actually never had one, despite the fact that my (hot guy) friend is actually a LMT. Sighs, my life. </p>

I adored this, it was all kinds of adorable and amazing and very erotic despite the lack of blatant sex. Yay!

... Alright, I'm going back to work, haha. Thanks for making my lunch break awesome though. <3

stoney321
Dec. 29th, 2011 08:03 pm (UTC)
YOU MUST INSIST ON ONE. Sexy times are all up to you. :D

I'm glad I made your lunch less boring, YAY! (Thank you for reading!)
kouredios
Dec. 29th, 2011 06:02 pm (UTC)
Count me among those who really want a massage badly now. Maybe after we've moved house in three weeks. I'm sure to need it then. :D

This was lovely. Your ability to make Kurt and Blaine's characters stick true through any AU scenario is truly amazing.
stoney321
Dec. 29th, 2011 08:04 pm (UTC)
OMG, I hate that I have to wait 8 more days until mine. Ooooh, after a move sounds like a SMART SMART PLAN.

Oh, how lovely of you to say, THANK YOU for that! <3
oruguita
Dec. 29th, 2011 06:04 pm (UTC)
WHY IS THIS SO AWESOME?! Okay, I'm gonna need you to write more or I will die. And you don't want to have a death on your conscience, right?!
I loved it.
stoney321
Dec. 29th, 2011 08:05 pm (UTC)
Ahahaha, well, um, I did finish up a 100K Klaine fic a few days ago, so maybe that could tide you over until I'm able to write more?

I DO NOT WANT A DEATH ON MY CONSCIENCE, THIS IS TRUE. ;D
punkkitten2113
Dec. 29th, 2011 06:06 pm (UTC)
Oh HELL YES YOU WILL WRITE MORE OF THIS!!!! Ahem. I would really like
it if you did, because this was AWESOME!

I'm all like, "Door number 4 for me too, HELL YES!" This was the
funniest, hottest sexual frustration piece I have ever read, and by
god, I want to read more.

I have to admit, with the music and the rosemary, I was afrid you'd
turned Kurt into John Redcorn, but luckily, you dressed him in
fantastic white jeans, and DAYUM that sounds fine.

The inner monologue of Blaine's was just the most PERFECT THING EVER.
I can't tell you how hard I laughed, reading this! My favorites (where
I swear to god you had crawled into my head and spewed it forth onto
paper) are the following:

There was nothing but a sheet draped over his groin; he really
needed to relax and start thinking about his Nana eating fruitcake or
picking in her ear, because no.


Blaine thought to himself, Yeah, that's right. I have a big, strong
ass and it's wearing you down, isn't it? You work those hands. Get
that arm up in there, too. You want to grunt, don't you? You want to
just let it all out, and by god, you can, mister.


What can I do to get you to continue this? Because my grin was as
dopey as Blaine's when I saw that winky smily on the card!!!
punkkitten2113
Dec. 29th, 2011 07:10 pm (UTC)
Sorry about the formatting- stupid phone......
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rockinhamburger
Dec. 29th, 2011 06:19 pm (UTC)
Ugh, all I want now is a sexy massage, thanks a lot! But for real, thanks a lot!! That was delicious and funny and adorable, and evidently I'm still loving your writing to bits!
stoney321
Dec. 29th, 2011 08:08 pm (UTC)
You should go get one! I'm so glad you're still enjoying my writing, YAY FOR ME!! Thanks for reading; I love putting smiles on people's faces. Smiling is my favorite. :)
nowheretogo26
Dec. 29th, 2011 06:27 pm (UTC)
What I loved most about Where There's Smoke was your Kurt voice and what I loved most about this was your Blaine voice! You have such a knack for their inner monologue and I love it. It's so clever and I find myself laughing out loud at your humor. A lot of the time, the humor in stories feels a little forced but yours always feels natural and fluid. I can always read your stories in the characters' voices and I love that about them.

In this fic, you totally captured the sort of tense-to-relaxed feeling of massage. My sister is a massage therapist and the second I finish this review, I'll be sending her a text and booking my next massage. You're so very right - they're essential for life!

Thanks for sharing this with us. It was absolutely lovely. <3
stoney321
Dec. 29th, 2011 08:09 pm (UTC)
Oh, that is so sweet of you to say!! Thank you so very much for that, especially for telling me the humor doesn't seem forced. (I know what you mean, and I'm well chuffed that it worked here. WHEW.)

I think booking a massage is a totally reasonable reaction, personally (I have to wait until next Saturday for my monthly treat, woe.) SO IMPORTANT.

<3 Thanks, again.
diagon
Dec. 29th, 2011 06:42 pm (UTC)
Never have I approved of ethics so highly. This was like drops of warm honey on the tongue; you just wrote a word massage that turned me to jelly.

I particularly liked Kurt being nervous before Blaine came out of the room, wondering if he should try to pick up his client or not... so glad he took the brave option. I think he'd be highly rewarded.
stoney321
Dec. 29th, 2011 08:10 pm (UTC)
HAHAHAHA. Ethics are important. So glad you felt relaxed, that is an unexpectedly awesome reaction to this! (I think Kurt will be, to. And probably that needs to get written.)

Thank you for reading!
threepwillow
Dec. 29th, 2011 06:48 pm (UTC)
I'm soooo into sexy massage with these two, for some reason, so a WHOLE FIC of it was like *______* thanks for sharing and extra-thanks for that "probably" tacked next to the "oneshot" up at the top...;D
stoney321
Dec. 29th, 2011 08:11 pm (UTC)
Oh, there should be a sexy massage ficathon, I think. Hahaha. THANK YOU so much for reading! (And yeah, I kind of want to write Kurt's POV here. *bites lip*)
wanna_be_happy1
Dec. 29th, 2011 07:14 pm (UTC)
This was AWESSSSOME. I've had a lot of massages before, done by both men and women, but I could only wish to have one as tantalizing as Blaine's. This was really sexy. GREAT job.
stoney321
Dec. 29th, 2011 08:11 pm (UTC)
Oh man, I could go for a massage like this, too! Haha. Thank you so much, I'm so glad you enjoyed this!
bigeasybreezy
Dec. 29th, 2011 07:31 pm (UTC)
This is an excellent story. Since I could never afford a massage, I'll just have to wait and hope for a sequel. :D
stoney321
Dec. 29th, 2011 08:12 pm (UTC)
(They're not as expensive as you might think... Also, look into massage schools. They need people to practice on!)

I think there will be, so you won't have to wait too long. Thank you so much for reading!
cagedbirdsings
Dec. 29th, 2011 07:42 pm (UTC)
Needy, clingy Blaine is so adorbs!
stoney321
Dec. 29th, 2011 08:12 pm (UTC)
Mmmm, I have a thing for needy Blaine, too. :D Thank you very much, glad you enjoyed!
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keenoled
Dec. 29th, 2011 07:53 pm (UTC)
Fantastic. The descriptions were so awesome I swear *I*'m more relaxed too just from reading. :)
stoney321
Dec. 29th, 2011 08:13 pm (UTC)
HAHAHAHA!! That's the best reaction ever!! Hee. So glad you enjoyed, thank you!
mardie186
Dec. 29th, 2011 07:55 pm (UTC)
The massage was awesome, Blaine's inner monologue was funny, and awesome. Kurt's hands are awesome. The thought that you could possibly continue this even more awesome. My lack of vocabulary is not so awesome. The sexual tension in this massage broke my brain. I am thinking about Blaine's Nana eating fruitcake or picking her ear to try and cool down. And in my mind picturing that two hour massage when Kurt is Blaine's private masseuse and off the clock where shenanigans can ensue. I keep thinking of the song Magic Man ...with the magic hands...yep, that's Kurt. Although I would be more than happy to work on Blaine's glutes myself. DAYUM!!!
Slinks off to cold shower...
stoney321
Dec. 29th, 2011 08:14 pm (UTC)
Hahahaa, it's awesome that you read this, and even more awesome that it robbed you of your vocabulary! Hoo, I would happily help Kurt out in that arena, too. *fans self*

Thank you for reading! <3
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Dec. 29th, 2011 08:15 pm (UTC)
Seeing as I've spit out over 100K of Klaine in a month, I don't think too much cajoling is necessary for me, lol.

And I am SO GLAD you laughed and found it hot! That's my favorite kind of fic, so YAY. <3
nittyismyname
Dec. 29th, 2011 08:45 pm (UTC)
Ha! I'm actually a massage therapist, so this was extremely amusing to me.

I love how you write Klaine...in any verse. :)
stoney321
Dec. 29th, 2011 08:47 pm (UTC)
Hahahaha! Glad I could make you laugh. (And I'm sure you've had your fair share of dopey-faced, dreamy-eyed clients once you've finished.)

And really, thank you for that, what an awesome thing to hear back!
halfmoon_mollie
Dec. 29th, 2011 08:56 pm (UTC)
oh, Stoney, you've done it again.

stoney321
Dec. 29th, 2011 09:14 pm (UTC)
FIST PUMP! Hee. Thank you!!
whosgotyou
Dec. 29th, 2011 09:03 pm (UTC)
Wonderful story. I'm amazed at the balance you was able to achieve with Blaine's inner-dialogue. Blaine's insecurities were a perfect constract to the sexy thoughts he kept having about Kurt. The little twist at the end was perfect. Thanks for sharing.
stoney321
Dec. 29th, 2011 09:15 pm (UTC)
Wow, thank you for that! I'm so happy to hear that it felt balanced between the goofy inner dialog and the sexy times. :) Thank you so much for reading!
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Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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