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'tis a confused wind blowing

I hate the wind. HATE. IT. Hate being out in it, hate having my hair go into my mouth, then my eyes, then walking into stuff because I can't see. Hate having my clothes plastered to my body exposing my less than taut self. BAH!! No more going outside today. Which means no more THUNDERDOME, and I've been teaching Emily how to touch her toes. Boo! To get out of my grumpy mood, I'm going to spam your flists with lists! Whee!


Things I Don't Want to See on TV

  • Fred Burkle: Snakemaster! (now if it was Lilah...)

  • Clem and Snyder: The Love Continues (well, if it was modeled after Sonny & Cher, maybe)

  • Shopping With Dawn! Get the tips and tricks of a pro!

  • Cops: Sunnydale

  • Charlotte's Web 2: Dead doesn't mean gone

  • </li>




Things I DO Want to See on TV

  • Faith and Spike on a motocycle, fighting demons 'round the world

  • The forgotten Shanshu episode

  • The Xander in Africa show

  • The forgotten "all nude" episode of Angel.

  • Spike without the "sock"

  • The 5 minutes that were cut from Buffy Season 3 when Angel comes back, nekkid on the floor and he stands up. Nekkid. Why's they cut that?

  • The missing Troika episode where they re-make Star Trek and Jonathan and Andrew fight over who's going to play Spock, and Jonathan ends up as Uhura

  • </li>





  • The abuse of the word "technology." Zip-lockTM claims to have "yellow and blue makes green" technology. WTF?

  • "Hand crafted burgers" No monkey paws!! ANd little old ladies knit burger cozies to keep them safe until you eat them.

  • Buzz words like "metrics" "granulation" and "off line." I actually heard this in a meeting the other day: "Let's discuss the metrics of your proposal off line so we can determine the level of granulation in that report." Uh, we're a gardening group. Is that REALLY necessary? Dirt good, tree pretty.

  • The misuse of the word "actually" and "literally." Listen to the TV. They use it incorrectly all the time.

  • Y'all (not Y'ALL, though) not spelling that contraction properly. It's you and all. Knock out the "ou" and stick in an apostrophe. Read it spelled ya'll in a PUBLISHED BOOK.

  • </li>



This is bad. I'm NEVER whiney in my journal. Here's some funny from McSweeny's.

Pick up lines from Serial Killers

  • Hey baby, you look so good in those jeans I 'd like to chop your legs off.

  • Was your daddy a thief? I'm not. I'm a serial killer.

  • If I said you had a beautiful body would you stop screaming?

  • That shirt looks great on you, but it would look even better in an evidence bag.

  • Will you run away from me somewhere romantic?

  • Do you come here often? I don't, because I only leave my underground cave when the voice of Marilu Henner inside my head tells me I must prowl the earth for victims, or Jesus will hurt my dog.

  • I love you.



GAH!! Forgot to mention that I found a stack of packages I forgot to mail! kita0610, sangueuk, vincitveritas, and mskakaako they were mailed this morning! Hence the being in the wind and crankiness.

Comments

( 47 comments — Leave a comment )
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(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Jan. 12th, 2005 10:29 am (UTC)
<-- am happy now! Drank a Coke!
Drop the first "h" and heigth is a word. Weighth is just retarded. If they used "page turning technology" with their dictionary, they'd know that.

And there is no "cow" in Moscow. And there were 10. Or 5 pairs.
likeadeuce
Jan. 12th, 2005 10:36 am (UTC)
hee!
The missing Troika episode where they re-make Star Trek and Jonathan and Andrew fight over who's going to play Spock, and Jonathan ends up as Uhura

hee, you always make me laugh.

but what could be wrong with Fred Burkle: Snakemaster? I bet Wes & Gunn would be all over that one. Not to mention Willow, if the snakes weren't excessively phallic. (ponders non-phallic snakes)

I apologize for not reading your Anne/Gilbert fics. I am sure they are lovely but it happens that I hate those books with an entirely irrational but fiery passion. sometimes happens.
stoney321
Jan. 12th, 2005 10:45 am (UTC)
<-- IN YOUR FACE!!! Hee hee!
but see, Fred Burkle would giggle and go off on tangents and push her glasses up a lot while talking to the audience and get bitten. So, that would be the problem. There is a current program on The Discovery Channel called "Austin Stevens: Snakemaster!" that this is a joke on.)

I am not paying any attention to your last two sentences. (I've noticed you hate the girly/feminine/goofy chicks. Except for Fred. Huh.)
Re: <-- IN YOUR FACE!!! Hee hee! - likeadeuce - Jan. 12th, 2005 11:22 am (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Jan. 12th, 2005 11:38 am (UTC) - Expand
smashsc
Jan. 12th, 2005 11:06 am (UTC)
Faith and Spike on a motocycle, fighting demons 'round the world

Oh, man, yes, so much yes (and I don't even love Spike).

I admit I don't put the apostrophe in y'all all the time, or even most of the time. Sorry. *prepares for 50 lashes with a wet noodle*
stoney321
Jan. 12th, 2005 11:39 am (UTC)
I would prefer no apostrophe to a misplaced one.

How kick ass of a show would that be? Leather and exhaust, baby.
... - smashsc - Jan. 12th, 2005 12:56 pm (UTC) - Expand
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#1. a nun joke. - smashsc - Jan. 12th, 2005 02:09 pm (UTC) - Expand
#2 - smashsc - Jan. 12th, 2005 02:16 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Jan. 12th, 2005 11:41 am (UTC)
Ha!! That word... I do not think it means what you think it means.

My husband comes home with a new buzz word every day, it seems. he's in consulting, so they seem to make up stuff to sound impressive. Anything typed and sent is now considered an "artifact."

He also busted someone in marketing for using the word "impact-full." Hyphen and everything. Huh?
somecandytalkin
Jan. 12th, 2005 11:39 am (UTC)
Ha!

Three words I have irrational issues with:
'Proactive', 'signage' and
'Handmade', as in 'Handmade Mexican Food'. I don't really want to think about so much touching. Of the food.
stoney321
Jan. 12th, 2005 11:43 am (UTC)
I know!! There is a Chili's commercial that describes their burgers as "hand crafted." Just... retarded.

BTW: I made you a new icon! You are so easy to make them for... Take it if you want, then I'll delete it off of my list so it's all special. (Was digging for Ed Gorey pics and just HAD to.)
... - somecandytalkin - Jan. 12th, 2005 12:06 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Jan. 12th, 2005 12:27 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Jan. 12th, 2005 12:28 pm (UTC)
Hee! It would be, like, the best song and dance show EVER.

I'll be here.
zyrya
Jan. 12th, 2005 12:00 pm (UTC)
Faith and Spike on a motocycle, fighting demons 'round the world

Oh god, yes. I even came up with this idea completely independently, it's such an obviously perfect premise for a Buffy spin-off. (As, I believe, did a lot of others.)

My pet peeve is misuse of 'momentarily'. As in the pilot saying "we'll be taking off momentarily." Yeah? And then what? We crash-land into a mountain?

Also qualifying 'unique' ... "very unique", "quite unique", "somewhat unique". Unique's like pregnant, people, either you are or you ain't. Y'all.
stoney321
Jan. 12th, 2005 12:29 pm (UTC)
Gah. "Quality."

"That's a real quality item." Uh.. good or bad?

This is why I love George Carlin. I'm not getting ON the plane, I'm getting IN the plane, asshole!
mirasol
Jan. 12th, 2005 12:03 pm (UTC)
I hate it when the wind is like that AND it's raining. You know, the kind of rain that seems to fall upwards?
*brushes your hair gently and sings calming songs*

Jonathon as Uhura? Okay. But I'd thought that Andrew would rather be the Intendant from the DS9 mirror universe. And if that image doesn't make you smile, I don't know what will.

BTW, I'm placid and easy-going. But use the wrong one from "they're, their, or there" and I'm likely to wolf out. That really gets on my tits.

And, thanks to the vaguaries of the Royal Mail, I got the Dance CD today! *big (platonic) smoochies and hugs!*
stoney321
Jan. 12th, 2005 12:30 pm (UTC)
*is soothed and attractive now*

BWAH!!! Spike could make an appearnce as Q.

Now WHAT IS THIS!!! The postman just came to the door with a package from you!!! you get your own post in a bit.

FORTUNE TELLER FISH!! I love you so hard.
<------ can you tell how bored I am? - mirasol - Jan. 12th, 2005 01:42 pm (UTC) - Expand
chantal87
Jan. 12th, 2005 12:23 pm (UTC)
Buck up Cupcake
I sent you a little something today.
You should have it this week :)
stoney321
Jan. 12th, 2005 12:31 pm (UTC)
"Fer me????" she squeaks.

But you're all busy and stuff!

*am bucked*
kimberly_a
Jan. 12th, 2005 12:56 pm (UTC)
I have the wind problem, too. When I lived in Scotland for a year (as compared to weatherless Southern California), I quickly learned to french-braid my hair, if only out of self-defense. My hair was about 3 feet long at the time, and could completely blind me while simultaneously whipping out to blind people walking nowhere near me. Walking through a mall in Durham, England, my hair got caught on the coat button of a man walking the opposite direction and pulled a whole chunk out of my head. It was insanity, I tell you. Insanity!

I recommend the restraining of the hair. I recommend the use of restraints. Um ... yeah.
stoney321
Jan. 12th, 2005 01:02 pm (UTC)
Here's how windy it is today: I had my hair (mid-back length) back in a clip and the wind blew it out. Fuuuuuh.

My solution? Stay indoors and bake yeast rolls. Want one?
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paynbow
Jan. 12th, 2005 03:01 pm (UTC)
The missing Troika episode where they re-make Star Trek and Jonathan and Andrew fight over who's going to play Spock, and Jonathan ends up as Uhura

Oh, god! They need to make it IMMEDIATELY!!! I'll fund the production costs! *g*

Do you come here often? I don't, because I only leave my underground cave when the voice of Marilu Henner inside my head tells me I must prowl the earth for victims, or Jesus will hurt my dog.

Bahahahahahahah!!!! I love it!

*hugs you and shields yoy from the wind* *g*


stoney321
Jan. 12th, 2005 07:30 pm (UTC)
Wind? She is gone.

If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you stop screaming? Best. Pickup line. Ever.
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Jan. 12th, 2005 07:32 pm (UTC)
Was your daddy a thief? I'm not. I'm a serial killer.

Ha!!! PUT THE FUCKING LOTION IN THE BASKET!!

Hard, confused winds is proof that there is no God. Ha! I'm going to piss people off with that. I shall meet them with honor in the THUNDERDOME. (Dude. you forgot it's in all caps. Come on, now.)
violethamster
Jan. 12th, 2005 07:00 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I can just see Clem tossing back his skin flaps and wearing shiny shiny dresses. And Snyder would be repeatedly interrupting all the musical numbers to yell at kids in the audience. I'd watch that.
stoney321
Jan. 12th, 2005 07:33 pm (UTC)
And they can make Snyde (hee!) remarks about each other.

"If I was that short, I'd be angry too!"

"You hide your snacks in those flaps?"

"Let's sing a number for the kids..."
vincitveritas
Jan. 13th, 2005 10:27 am (UTC)
Ew, ya'll? Is that "ya will" or something? Blech. Bad grammar sucks.

I'm gettng a package? Did I know about this or do I just have the worst memory ever? Either way, I'm excited!
stoney321
Jan. 13th, 2005 05:01 pm (UTC)
You did. Dumbass. You just forgot. Ha! Some of the CDs from my big CD project back in November.

WHEE! (ANd Anchorman!!)
mskakaako
Jan. 13th, 2005 04:49 pm (UTC)
Aw, thanks sweetie pie! I will be compulsively checking my mailbox everyday now. You're the best! Hey baby, you look so good in those jeans, I 'd like to chop your legs off. Oh yeah! ROWR!
Hey, you have the Arcade Fire album yet? If not, it's yours. Let me know! I need to shut up about them, but I just can't help myself.
stoney321
Jan. 13th, 2005 05:02 pm (UTC)
WHEEE!!! You have 3 coming. No, I don't have the disc yet, so if you were feeling up to it... Hooray!!

Those pick up lines STILL have me laughing.

Now, did you see my previous posts with the Anne/Gilbert fics? No one was harmed in the writing of those fics. I would NEVER besmirch the good name of the citizens of Avonlea, hand to heaven. (Kinda did it for you and another chick on my flist.)

Heart you, too!
... - mskakaako - Jan. 13th, 2005 05:18 pm (UTC) - Expand
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( 47 comments — Leave a comment )

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Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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