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Why does my dog smell?

She smells AWFUL. I think she is rolling in a dead animal. But where is the dead animal? In case you failed to realize how gross dogs are, there's your reminder. They set aside special time to really lick their butts. Like, candles and slow-jams special time. You know the scene in the Muppet Movie when Steve Martin unscrews the wine cap and lets Kermit sniff? Dogs would do that with their butt holes if they had opposable thumbs. They would walk around with their unscrewed buttholes offering their particular vintage to anyone. (Cats just jam that shit in your face.)

Proverbs 26, people. Dogs are grody. (I wish she didn't have such a sweet face. I want to hate her for smelling.)

HEY WHO WANTS TO TALK ABOUT TOP CHEF NOW? Everyone? That makes sense; I set the stage so well...

Speaking of my website, we had a BANNER DAY yesterday: over 22,000 hits. In about nine hours, to boot. THAT IS AWESOME. Thank you, everyone, for supporting my ladies! I'm so glad that shows like Spartacus and Ringer are getting a lot of attention. (Not to mention Merlin, SouthLAnd, etc.)

What cracks me up is how people find us. Top Search Terms:

  • Sherlock Holmes BBC

  • Hey Dont Judge Me

  • Spartacus Blonde slave girl

  • place cock in ass

  • what does og mean southland

  • lady sitter kyle

  • tiberius place cock in ass

  • blonde slave girl

  • slave girl blonde spartacus vengeance (I'm seeing a theme...)

  • fuck you in the other eye

  • and I'm not making this one up:
  • this week klaus and elijah ask stefan and damon out on a double-date and try to romance them with wine and food and a roaring fire. we all know that klaus has been crushing on stefan since the 1920s but i think elijah is starting to show a definite interest in damon. and who wouldn’t with the way he flirts with absolutely everyone? if the show continues to give us this much pretty in every episode i may never get off my couch.



Okay, gonna wash the dog in vinegar and then go find what is making her reek. MY LIFE IS TRES GLAMOROUS, NON?

Comments

( 33 comments — Leave a comment )
moosesal
Feb. 9th, 2012 03:57 pm (UTC)
what does og mean southland

haha! I guess some people from white suburbia don't have the same life experience as all of us, huh?
stoney321
Feb. 9th, 2012 04:03 pm (UTC)
that one made me laugh pretty hard. There are a few of them like that, too, trying to learn various gangsta terms. LOL.
moosesal
Feb. 9th, 2012 04:26 pm (UTC)
That's not even a new term. I feel so old.
poshcat
Feb. 9th, 2012 04:12 pm (UTC)
I love the top search terms! It's like looking into their very souls. Now I want to go read the recap for Spartacus and the blond slave girl!

And congrats on the benchmark day!
moosesal
Feb. 9th, 2012 04:27 pm (UTC)
You should totally read the Spartacus recaps. I don't watch the show, but reading the recap yesterday was cracking me up.
poshcat
Feb. 9th, 2012 04:29 pm (UTC)
Haha, I just read the latest one and it was hilarious! And gory!!
elizardbits
Feb. 9th, 2012 10:47 pm (UTC)
*PREENS DELIGHTEDLY*
poshcat
Feb. 9th, 2012 11:05 pm (UTC)
Preen baby! Like a boss!
wesleysgirl
Feb. 9th, 2012 04:21 pm (UTC)
stoney321
Feb. 9th, 2012 05:11 pm (UTC)
THANK YOU!! Hahahaha!
anniemare
Feb. 9th, 2012 04:34 pm (UTC)
Sometimes my Gurlie cat smells like maple syrup. I feel really lucky that when she does smell of something it is something nice.
stoney321
Feb. 9th, 2012 05:12 pm (UTC)
My Smidgen smells like Smudge's breath. (They groom each other, lol.) Sally Derg smells like a skunk's turd.
anniemare
Feb. 9th, 2012 05:17 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I used to groom dogs when I was in college. Some of then definitely had an unholy funk about them.
lynnenne
Feb. 9th, 2012 04:39 pm (UTC)
Hahahaha! Someone has clearly been copying and pasting from my LJ. LOVE.
stoney321
Feb. 9th, 2012 05:12 pm (UTC)
I thought that's what it was, lol!!
mpoetess
Feb. 9th, 2012 04:51 pm (UTC)
See, why would anybody need to google place cock in ass, is my question. I mean, you've got the basics right there. Everything else is that pretentious frilly shit the kids these days like to pretend is art.
stoney321
Feb. 9th, 2012 05:12 pm (UTC)
LOL!!!!!! (I think it's a line in her recap, because she's funny like that.) BUT YEAH.
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Feb. 9th, 2012 05:13 pm (UTC)
You know, just lay it in there.
quietlyboloney
Feb. 9th, 2012 06:17 pm (UTC)
dying at unscrewing buttholes, that whole paragraph is incredible
stoney321
Feb. 9th, 2012 06:45 pm (UTC)
I love you most of all, Scarecrow.

<3
mumsisdaughter
Feb. 9th, 2012 06:36 pm (UTC)
Obviously, she's been rolling in zombies (while you had your 30 min with feet up and bottle of wine last night)!
stoney321
Feb. 9th, 2012 06:45 pm (UTC)
She DOES smell of the dead... Dear god, what if Z virus is transferable? *SMITES THE DOG*
turnonmyheels
Feb. 9th, 2012 07:05 pm (UTC)
<3
stoney321
Feb. 9th, 2012 11:33 pm (UTC)
<3 to YOU!
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Feb. 9th, 2012 11:33 pm (UTC)
*trombone* WAH-WAAAAAAAAH! Lol.
elizardbits
Feb. 9th, 2012 10:50 pm (UTC)
Every spring, when my zillion year old eivissenc neighbor would fertilize his fields, my dog would gallop out of the house like a maniac and roll ecstatically in the glorious poops for hours, and then come home and sprawl about on the furniture in his best centerfold poses. DID NOT WANT.
stoney321
Feb. 9th, 2012 11:34 pm (UTC)
My BFF's Blue Healer would find dead, bloated corpses along the river (or animals, lol, not transients) and roll with glee.

JESUS CHRIST NOOOOOOOOOO!
flaming_muse
Feb. 9th, 2012 11:01 pm (UTC)
Well, there goes any desire I had to get a dog. Ew.

SO PROUD OF HDJM AND YOU! <3 <3 <3
stoney321
Feb. 9th, 2012 11:35 pm (UTC)
THIS IS SOMETHING ALL POTENTIAL DOG OWNERS SHOULD KNOW.

I love you THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS much! Times infinity. Plus one.
zyrya
Feb. 10th, 2012 04:14 am (UTC)
My car air conditioning smells like dog. I do not have a dog!
stoney321
Feb. 10th, 2012 02:18 pm (UTC)
You have a phantomdog - a polterdog!

Bring in the exorcist!
zyrya
Feb. 10th, 2012 11:14 pm (UTC)
A polterdog omg that's too adorable to exorcise.

*makes sure your cabana boy is being sufficiently attentive*
( 33 comments — Leave a comment )

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Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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