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Links, a rec, and a massive eye-roll/rant

First, Hey, Don't Judge Me is cooking today (with lots coming later today, too.)
Game of Thrones! Hope you like your incest. And baby killing.
Dexter! The rewatch continues with the beginning of Season 2, eps. 1 - 3.
Touch! The new Keifer show that is steadily picking up steam.
Later today: Mad Men! Bomb Girls! And THE RETURN OF THE BORGIAS (but debuting on HDJM!) Show my girls some love, if you would be so kind. They're working for praise, so how about you give them a raise? :)

FIC REC: one of those "Please drop what you are doing, read this, leave encouraging feedback, and marvel that this is in the world" kind of fics.

Sweet! A Love Story Told In Sugar by ohquixotica (I believe there are two other authors contributing as well?

WHY: Did you love Pushing Daisies? Do you love surreal romance and beautiful words and maybe a little Like Water For Chocolate? Because this story is all of that and more. I very rarely get emotionally moved by a lot of fanfic. I'm a jerk, I suppose. I choked up, clutched my heart, squealed with happiness, and felt everything right along with the characters. So funny, so sweet, so achy in places I could barely catch my breath. Everything I love in a story and all I didn't know I needed. PLEASE. Track this one. It's a WiP.

And those in Glee fandom? THAT IS HOW YOU WRITE 3rd PERSON OMNISCIENT. Know your POVs, it seems to be a problem. Do I sound snippy? I'll tell you why. But before I cut, PLEASE PLEASE READ.TRACK, BOOKMARK SWEET. You'll thank me later, I guarantee.



1. Fanfic is free. You get to turn on the computer, type in what you like and then you have it! That's amazing. The person providing you with a story (or a drawing, or vid, or...) because they have fannish love for something is doing you a service, and they're not even asking for much in return. Maybe you say thanks. (Most don't.) Maybe you leave them a comment or engage in things you liked, etc. It's still something that another person is GIVING TO YOU FOR NOTHING. Pretty sweet!

2. Which makes many fen feel entitled. You are not owed a new chapter, a new drawing, a new vid. No one "had better" fulfill the promise of posting at a time when it's convenient for you. Posting on Tumblr with a tag for the story (vid, etc.) "Fuck you Author" is about as shitty as it gets. (I'm not even going to go into how much I hate people who post "Look at this asshole" and "fuck you" when someone is especially handsome, pretty, etc. It's douchey; I think it's douchey; I can't stand it. Which is why I scroll and filter.)

Demanding (even when anonymous - that's just worst, imo) that people give you things to your schedule is just about as bratty as it gets. Really? You feel that's acceptable behavior? Or only because you're hiding behind being anonymous? And if you're simply bitching for things (legitimately bitching) then you're just awful, it has to be said. See: FREE.

3. I can't speak for everyone, but here's why I share fan-works - because fandom is (and has been for a very long time) my happy place. We all feel that to some degree, I'm sure. We share our mutual love for things, discuss things we don't, and yes, some people exist to bitch, I know. Believe me. But that's not how fandom serves me. Am I alone? Probably not. Do I want to interact with people that want to put their hand out constantly and bitch and be ugly? NO. Go your way, I'll go mine, we're both satisfied.

I feel JOY when I write. I feel HAPPINESS to create something I care about. I feel PRIDE when I share it and people don't hate it. That is an amazing feeling! I'm sure I'm not alone with that. Which leads me to

4. TONE. Do you know what this is? I in no way think I'm perfect. Everyone who knows me knows without a doubt that I'm my own worst critic. No, really. Look up self-effacing and you'll find me. I don't take myself too seriously, I'm pretty fun as a human, generally speaking. BUT BOY THERE ARE SOME BEHAVIORS THAT PISS ME OFF.

a) people make mistakes. Errors happen. This does not piss me off.
b) it is perfectly fine to say: "Oh, did you see that you dropped the italics tag in paragraph 4?" or "Whoops, there's a homonym error in blah blah." That's just fine with me, and I have no problem with people helping me make the final product as good as can be.
c) it is NOT perfectly fine to adjust your glasses, smirk at me, then proceed to explain what words mean as if I am someone uneducated. Can you honestly think while reading - say, this latest story I'm posting - and think I haven't been schooled? That I don't understand English? Really? And word to the wise: if you're going to correct someone, ESPECIALLY if it's in a holier-than-thou condescending tone, you better make sure your message isn't riddled with errors, yourself. It just makes your ass into a hat.
d) I am NOT interested in being challenged on plot points. Wanting to know motivation, discussing things? Awesome! "I don't believe this" is not okay with me - I don't care that you don't. I've clearly missed something for you, and I'm guessing there's no way to make you see what I see. You can close the screen and move on. I won't be mad, promise. I sure as hell will get irritated if you try and explain my own characters' motivation to me and how I got it wrong.

In case it's not clear, I have been nitpicked up one side and down the other on this FREE STORY that is FINISHED and is being posted like clockwork DAILY.

I'm not in it to be a BNF. I'm not aspiring to fandom heights. I'm writing a story and sharing it, and if you like it, thank you so much! I truly and from the bottom of my heart appreciate it. If you don't, THAT IS FINE, TOO. You can't like everything, I get that. There are many many stories in this fandom that I cannot for the life of me understand why people even bother reading. The characters are unrecognizable (aside from physical features) the story telling is woefully under developed, there are spelling errors left and right, and not in ANY of these stories have I seen comments with corrections, "hem hem" type condescension, etc.

Why the hell have I been bombarded with it? I don't want it, in case you thought I did. We can talk story and character all day long. BUT MY STORY HAS BEEN VETTED, and I'm guessing much more thoroughly than 99% of the stories out there. Give me an "Oopsie doodles, there's a t-e-h in there, not a t-h-e" all day long, I don't mind.

But you don't need to PM me, comment, drop in my ask box the origin of the word "THE" like I'm some kind of mouth breather. I've had close to ONE HUNDRED of these messages since I started posting last Monday. ONE FUCKING HUNDRED. I'm at my limit, guys. My chest is tight, my heart rate is through the roof, and I just want to share a free god damn story. Those of you that have been so supportive and fun (and those of you that brought errors to my attention in a "Hey, whoops - your fly's down!" way are awesome, and I'm so grateful to you.

The rest of you? Ahem.

Glee fandom: It's time to start behaving like humans.


And here come the anonymous "Stoney's a bitch" comments, I'm sure. Sorry for having opinions in my own journal. *

*no, I'm not. And one last time: CATCHING TYPOS is one thing. Talking down to me is another. Guess which one I'm cool with? (And christ, the story is 148,000 words. There's bound to be an error. Find me a printed book without a single error, would you?)

Comments

( 100 comments — Leave a comment )
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megobsesses
Apr. 9th, 2012 04:33 pm (UTC)
This sucks. Like really, what's fundamentally wrong with these people? I'm watching each chapter show up in my inbox and yet am waiting til they're all up to dive in. So I can spend a whole day just reading it (even though I loved reading each daily update of Where there's Smoke, I decided to take a different tack with this one).

And now I'm second guessing my writing of a COMMENT for fear I'll be judged here!

At any rate, it pisses me off that you're being hurt over something that I'm anticipating loving so much. Especially when your writing and attention to detail, in both your story development and your grammar, far outstrip the vast majority of fanfic I've read over the last 15 years.
stoney321
Apr. 9th, 2012 04:49 pm (UTC)
Well, thanks for the vote of support. I don't need to be popular or to have my name on the top of recs list - I need to enjoy fandom, and it's getting harder to do, day by day. I just don't understand where people got the idea that I want to be condescended to? I don't know where they're getting the idea that I don't know things and must be educated?

I don't mean to drive people away - comments are great. Discussion is great. People giving me a droll look and telling me how I'm wrong isn't. Are you going to comment to me like that last one? Please don't. Do you want to talk about story and character and plot and the show and the boys and... - YES, PLEASE.

I guess I feel the distinction between the two is obvious, but maybe it's not? I honestly do not understand.

(And again, thank you. I have spent a lot of my spare time on this story, lovingly-so, and just wanted to put it out there, that's all.)
flaming_muse
Apr. 9th, 2012 04:44 pm (UTC)
I seriously don't know why this fic, which people profess to love, is getting you so many cranky-making comments, my dear friend.

My little note to everyone:

She's worked really hard on this fic and gets her feelings hurt like (or more than, because she really is a big ol' self-critical softie) everyone else, so please think about your wording and motivation when responding to something that - like most everything else in fandom - is a gift given freely and with love.

Also, there are few things more likely to make an author stop sharing her words with you than people being rude about them. If you like the fic, say so. If you find a typo, please mention it in a friendly manner. If you want to talk about the story and how it's making you feel, you will seriously make her day... unless you're rude about it. There's no reason to be rude or entitled. This is a GIFT from her to you.
stoney321
Apr. 9th, 2012 04:55 pm (UTC)
I CAN BARELY READ YOUR COMMENT WITHOUT BAWLING. I JUST WANT TO BE ORGANIC AND MAKE ART AND HELP PEOPLE.

You are my most favorite, and I cannot wait to hug your bones in just TWO WEEKS.
quietdiscerning
Apr. 9th, 2012 04:53 pm (UTC)
Hey I just wanted to say I'm sorry that you're having such a rough time of it and I think it's really great of you to be posting daily. Knowing this is coming every day makes me smile and I might whine about having to wait but really I'm very grateful knowing that tomorrow there's of definitely going to be another chapter. So thank you!
stoney321
Apr. 9th, 2012 04:57 pm (UTC)
Well, you are just a delight. (And it's not that I need praise -I mean, don't get me wrong, I'll take it! It's that I just don't need the "What you need to understand is...")

And tomorrow's chapter is HUGE. HUGE! I'm excited to post it for you! <3
... - quietdiscerning - Apr. 9th, 2012 05:06 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Apr. 9th, 2012 05:38 pm (UTC) - Expand
dlgood
Apr. 9th, 2012 05:02 pm (UTC)
Thanks. Gotta say. Killing off all the Royal Bastards is a great way to say "I am totally not concerned about those rumors that King Joffrey is the product of an incestuous union."
stoney321
Apr. 9th, 2012 05:14 pm (UTC)
Yeah, Joffrey isn't showing us that he's really qualified for the long haul, is he?
... - dlgood - Apr. 9th, 2012 05:21 pm (UTC) - Expand
prosen8966
Apr. 9th, 2012 05:05 pm (UTC)
I am so sorry people are bombarding you with anything negative, let alone typing errors which I imagine they can either ignore or, if it (apparently) is bothering them to the point where they feel it is necessary to bring it to your attention, INSTEAD, they should probably just go read something else instead. IMO.

If I have trouble with a story/ don't like the way it's developing/ feel that Kurt has become the scum of the earth (that's just an example b'c he's my favorite character on Glee)/ suddenly realize that political opinions not my own are likely to be peppered throughout the tale -- I do this wild, awesome, and quite similar to using a remote on a TV thing where I simply stop reading the story. That's it. I don't find it necessary (or advisable) or anything other than mean, really, to TELL the author that I'm doing this. I certainly am not going to continue reading a story I dislike, just for the joy of letting an author know what I believe is wrong with each chapter.

And the thing that bugs me the most about all this is what you mentioned at the very beginning. You're writing the story FOR FREE. Apart from praise and possible recognition during the next story/artwork, etc., you send out, you're not receiving anything from your hours (and hours and hours) of work other than comments which (IMO) should be positive. (As in 'if you don't have something nice to say, shut the fuck up.')

I'm truly sorry I'm not (personally) leaving comments but I saw at the beginning that I very much liked where the story (appeared) to be going; you said the story was already written (as in, if I did what I'm about to tell you, it would make sense) which is decide to wait for the entire story to be available and then just read it straight through. It's not that it's a bad thing to read stories in stages, but knowing that the wait won't be all that long, it just seemed (to me) to make sense to wait for the full tale and read it all together like a novel. Or a novella. Or whatever.

At the time I decided this, I just assumed you would be bombarded with praise from other people and my holding back would not make a difference. And, as assumptions go, this was a doozy.

Maybe the hiatus is driving people mad and starting tomorrow night, they will begin to act humane and nice and not leave ridiculous, negative comments for you to read for no reason that I can understand.

In my mind, a much more natural response to fic reading in the Glee fandom (since I don't actually read other fandoms) is where hengilas posted a partial chapter to her A Better Way to Fall in Love story, which (for whatever reasons, I think school but honestly, it's none of my business and I'm just thrilled she continued the tale) had stopped back in December or January and thus I was ever so happy to see a new posting today!! TBH, I didn't read through the entire part of her posting where she apologized for the lengthy delay b'c (like you mentioned above) I don't think anyone should HAVE to apologize for when they post their chapters. We, the readers, should be happy that you, the writer, are doing it in the first place. So I can't swear that people didn't bug her during that hiatus w' messages like 'when is your next posting, huh, huh?! but I'd like to believe that they didn't and certainly I did nothing of the sort.

Because I'm perfect.

(I kid.)

Because I just think it's intrusive and rude and unnecessary and sort of like honking in traffic -- if you could post, you would, so how would (other than being rude and intrusive) my message help that process?

So, that's my UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLY long way of saying, I'm so sorry you're dealing w' such crap. (I am, apparently, incapable of writing short messages.)
stoney321
Apr. 9th, 2012 05:45 pm (UTC)
OH MY FUCKING GOD I WANT TO MARRY YOU. I laughed so hard at the turning the channel/shutting the window. I DO THAT, TOO. So good for my blood pressure, I must say.

And honestly, if it had just happened a few times, I wouldn't be so upset like I am today. But I'm not joking when I say how many complaints/nitpicks/when the hell are you going to post again,this song isn't working give me more free music blah - that I've gotten in a week. It's a LOT TO TAKE.

And I'm not kidding when I say that I don't need a million comments - someone tells me now that they're enjoying it, that's wonderful! Anything beyond that is icing, in my way of thinking. And I really don't mind at all people who want to wait it out. I do that, too. For big stories I like the daily treat, but it's not like my feelings are hurt by people wanting it all - that's ANOTHER compliment, I think.

I didn't even think about the hiatus making people crazed with need. That's something to think about, for sure. I know I'm desperate for more show, so...

As for your story about hengilas, I would bet diamonds to donuts that people emailed her about posting soon. I would be shocked if it hadn't happened.

And I love long comments, please! I actually love talking things out. :D
wickedwitty
Apr. 9th, 2012 05:06 pm (UTC)
You're awesome and a great voice of reason into a fandom of people who tend to not quite GET IT.

Shake it out, keep doing your thing. The story is fantastic.
stoney321
Apr. 9th, 2012 05:46 pm (UTC)
Well, I'm just me, and I know I can be abrasive even though I really try to be a decent human most of the time. (But thank you.)

I am going to shake it out - I might need to turn off my rule of no booze during the week. MAMA NEEDS TEQUILA. ;D
etmuse
Apr. 9th, 2012 05:15 pm (UTC)
There are so many fics (not only in Glee fandom but they seem to be quite prevalent here) that I don't get how even one person can read and enjoy, let alone the masses that seem to adore them. Occasional typos, maybe one misuse of 'your' where it should be 'you're' - all fine. Especially if the characters actually sound and feel like the characters from canon (which yours do, and I don't even have many typos to overlook). I am endlessly grateful that there do exist in this fandom a small section of authors who can write the characters well, and place them in coherent, grammatically sound pieces of fiction. (Both you and your lovely beta are firmly in this group.)

The only reasons I can figure as to why they don't get bombarded with tutting 'corrections' comments and messages are that either a) most of their readers don't actually know any better, or b) when there are so many mistakes, trying to correct them would be a full time job the author probably wouldn't even pay attention to. (Sadly, I suspect it is a.)

(I'm sure there must be a post somewhere on 'how to be a responsible and respectful member of fandom, but if there is, too few people have read it...)
stoney321
Apr. 9th, 2012 05:49 pm (UTC)
<3
re: fics I'm not into/don't get Just because I'm not interested or am baffled by it doesn't mean I need to tell the author why I don't like it. Or keep other people from enjoying it (which clearly the masses are in some cases.) I see so many errors in stories, and no one bats an eye. Which, who cares? It's free! People go bananas for stories where I don't know why that is Kurt Hummel, but he gets boners and cries and does whatever the story wants and people like it so.. *shrug* Mazel, readers.

LOL, I've written it! A few times, in fact! Hahaha. I'm just new to actively participating in Glee fandoms. My Buffy/Joss fen know my stance on this stuff.
Re: <3 - etmuse - Apr. 9th, 2012 05:57 pm (UTC) - Expand
amyryd
Apr. 9th, 2012 05:16 pm (UTC)
First off - I ADORE Sweet!! The premise, the omniscient voice, 'Trice... All of it is just spectacular.

Speaking of spectacular, that is what you are m'dear. How anyone (let alone 100 people!!!) could find fault with the stunning, luscious story that is The Bones of You is beyond me. I owe you comments on the last two chapters, but suffice it to say they were flawless.

To paraphrase you (or technically Kurt in WTS), some people just need to get a big ole stepladder and get over themselves.

Mwah! Smooches from a loyal and VERY satisfied reader! <3
stoney321
Apr. 9th, 2012 05:51 pm (UTC)
Oh my god, isn't that just the loveliest story!? I finally gave it a chance the day before yesterday and just fell in absolute love. I think it's in a class of its own, I truly do.

(Well, to be fair, some of those 100 comments were most likely from the same anonymous person.)

And as for owing, that goes both ways - you don't owe me comments. you have gone above and beyond the social contract here, and I love you for it. :D
enigmaticblues
Apr. 9th, 2012 05:33 pm (UTC)
Oh, man, I am SO WITH YOU. I have lost track of the number of comments of that sort I've gotten over the years. I don't mind getting a heads up on a typo, but seriously, some folks just think they're owed whatever it is they demand. And some fandoms do seem to be worse than others.

Here's hoping the asshats GTFO and STFU so that you can enjoy your fandom in relative peace and harmony.
stoney321
Apr. 9th, 2012 05:53 pm (UTC)
I really am okay with "hey, Stoney: check your their/there on blah blah" I am A-OK with that. It's the "what you need to understand is," ones that make me want to stab things. :D

If all else fails, I know who I can enjoy fandom with by this point, and they're pretty awesome people. Small numbers are good for social interactions, I think.

THANK YOU, TOOTS. You continue to be awesome.
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... - stoney321 - Apr. 9th, 2012 07:05 pm (UTC) - Expand
dancetomato
Apr. 9th, 2012 05:39 pm (UTC)
I was watching Income Property the other day (I love me some Scott McGillivray) and they kept showing the blueprints with one room marked "BATHOOM."

Stoney, I am soooooo wiped out from Holy Week and Easter, but it was great.*

*this is apropos of nothing.
stoney321
Apr. 9th, 2012 05:54 pm (UTC)
BATHOOM!!!!!!! AHAHAHA.

Oh, honey pie I can just imagine how worn out you must be. *rubs your shoulders* There's porn in my LJ today, if you don't mind not being in the fandom?

<3 you, DT.
rockinhamburger
Apr. 9th, 2012 05:43 pm (UTC)
People are asshats, yup. Not only do people like to condescend to others, there's also massive bullying in this fandom which is just wholly ironic. And it is truly infuriating, especially in this case because you are sharing 100,000+ words of glorious writing with us (and as you say, for free) and people spend their time complaining at you about a few errors? Unbelievable.

Another huge contention I have with fandomers is the entitlement. It's rampant, and it is seriously rage-inducing.

So, yeah, you're not alone, I've so been there before. I once saw someone had linked to one of my stories as a recommendation (awesome) but also included all their concrit, which they had not brought to my attention in my actual comments--they had not commented at all, in fact (not awesome). It was honestly very disheartening, and I realize they probably thought I'd never read their comments, but... why not comment and let me know what you thought?

Anyway, people are asshats. And for every idiot who has a problem with your story, there are at least ten more who are lurking and not commenting but genuinely loving every word.
stoney321
Apr. 9th, 2012 06:07 pm (UTC)
I haven't encountered much bullying (but that might be because I don't watch many of the comms anymore. They don't seem to want the same fandom experience I do. *shrug*)

The entitlement is...shocking. Take for example the glee kink meme. People write out PARAGRAPHS of what they want and expect someone to write it out for them. Prompts are meant to be: "Kurt, ballerina, future fic (no watersports)" You spent all that time writing out the description, take it further, you're halfway there.

The "when are you posting? WHY HAVEN'T YOU POSTED" comments I see other authors get (like Iknowitainteasy, for example) is just... come the fuck on, kids.

I've had a moment like you described with the commentary - it hurts. If there's valid commentary I'll listen to it (even if it hurts) but 9 times out of 10 it's just someone wishing their ideas were on the page. There's nothing you can do about that (even though, yep. It hurts.) :)

I am really grateful for the awesome people I do interact with - that kind of support is so wonderful. It does make up for all of the negative, in the end. <3
copykween
Apr. 9th, 2012 05:53 pm (UTC)
The staggering amount of fandom entitlement is simply MIND. BOGGLING. :(
stoney321
Apr. 9th, 2012 06:08 pm (UTC)
It really, really is. I've not seen it in ANY fandom like this one. And I've been around the fandom block a few times, as you know.
mikaoru
Apr. 9th, 2012 05:55 pm (UTC)
ugh, I'm so sorry to hear people are being jerks, it's not uncommon unfortunately *sigh* Fandom is my happy place too so I try and avoid all the drama I can and yes, rant is HEALTHY and it makes you feel better *hugs* So I hope you feel better <3
stoney321
Apr. 9th, 2012 06:09 pm (UTC)
I do feel better! I'm a fan of getting things off my chest - but only in my own space, I don't want to jump down anyone else's throat. :)

(Thank you!)
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Apr. 9th, 2012 06:12 pm (UTC)
I get private PMs, emails, drops in my ask on Tumblr... It's been overwhelming, honestly, and not in the good way. (Fortunately there are enough people that I routinely interact with in fandom that are lovely people and remind me that not everyone behaves this way.)

I'm okay with people not liking my story, I really, really am. I don't like everything, so I can't expect others to like everything I do. I think what gets me is that a lot of the "Um, you messed up on xyz" comments are because they're wanting to connect in a bizarre way - but...I already have a beta. Or they're trying to, IDK, show me how smart they are? I'm honestly baffled by it.

But as I said, there are enough people that I *DO* enjoy (smiles at you) that after all is said and done, I can relax.
(Deleted comment)
... - etmuse - Apr. 9th, 2012 06:30 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Anonymous)
Apr. 9th, 2012 06:37 pm (UTC)
Unpleasant people
Sending you my utmost love and tightest ***HUG***!!! Thank you for sharing your TBoy writing. I am so disheartened by how people can be so rude and ungrateful towards you in any way.
I am looking forward to the 'refreshing drink of TBoy" at my ME-time.
Most Sincerely and thankfully yours,
Tin in FL
stoney321
Apr. 9th, 2012 07:06 pm (UTC)
Re: Unpleasant people
Aww, thank you Tin! I've appreciate your leaving me little notes on Tumblr - it's very kind of you to do so. I'll "see" you in the morning with a new update. ;D
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Tags

Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

Time Wot It Is

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