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Heavy Wes/Spike dialogue. Snyder makes another appearance. Previous chapters start here. I'm still laughing, so I'm still writing.


~~
The Godfather - Jossed! Part 6

Cast of Characters:
Don Vito Corleone/Godfather - Angel
Michael Corleone - Wesley Wyndham-Pryce
Santino "Sonny" Corleone - Spike
Fredo Corleone - Elijah Woods
Tom Hagen (The Consigliere) - Charles Gunn
Connie Corleone - Andrew
Kay Adams (Michael's Girl) - Winnifred "Fred" Burkle
Luca Brasi - Xander Harris
Apollonia - Cordelia Chase
Virgil Sollozzo - Ethan Rayne
Don Tattaglia - Darla
Emilio Barzini - Tavers
Johnny Fontaine - Lorne Krevlorneswath
Tessio - Doyle
Pete Clemenza - Ripper Giles
Paulie - Parker Abrams
Carlo (Connie's husband) - Warren
Bonasera, the Undertaker - Jonathon
Captain McCluskey - Principal Snyder
~~

[CUT TO: Interior of Corleone Estate, the men are formulating a plan, Wesley and Ripper enter]
Spike: Wesley! Come'ere. Lemme see that leg.

(Wesley pulls up his trousers to show a purple knot on his shin from Snyder's kick. It is revealed that Wesley wears Sock-Garters.)

Spike: He got you pretty good, huh?

Wesley: (with a stiff upper lip) I am determined to ride out the pain. Besides. The doctors wouldn't give me any more morphine.

Spike: Eh, Gunn. Listen to this. Ethan Sollozzo calls and wants a meeting. After yesterday I should just... (Pantomimes spinning his head off.)

Gunn: What'd he say?

Spike: Badda-beep badda-boop badda-beep badda-boop shabba-shee shabba-shoo ba dum bum titty titty kitty mat pitty pitty fitty gat shabba shabba scoobie doobie boo boo pa doo. He wants to meet Wesley.

(Stunned silence)

Wesley: Did... Did you just... "scat?"

Spike: What? Couldn't go on listening to punk music for the rest of my un-life. Someone suggested acid-jazz and I like it. Anyway, he wants to proposition Wesley -

(Wesley clears his throat and hides his blushing face)

Spike: -but there is no way in hell we're doing business with that ponce.

Gunn: But if we talk to him-

Spike: No! No more meetings. Action. I want action!

Gunn: Spike, this is business. Your father would listen. He glower and make threats, but he'd listen. You are taking this very personally. This is just business. Did I mention that this is just business?

Spike: They came after my Sire!

Gunn: Even that was business. Listen. I found out about this "Snyder" that dented Wesley's shin. Well, he's definitely on Sollozzo's payroll. Plus, he's a principal at a suburban high school. No one has ever just killed one of those guys before. Which is strange because they are traditionally such pricks... But if we went after this guy -. We'd be outcasts, Spike.

Spike: (flexing his facial muscles to show off his killer cheekbones, and framing his crotch with his hands) So we wait. And plot. And talk out loud to ourselves.

Wesley: No. We can't wait. We must act quickly and with instinct! No thinking! There is no time. To wait is to fail.

Gunn: I hear that.

Spike: Let me ask you something, Head Boy. What do we do about this Principal?

Wesley: Sollozzo wants to meet with me? He'll have this... Principal with him. I meet him, and I head butt them into unconsciousness. I've always wanted to say, "give us a kiss" and then head-butt someone. They'll think me an incorrigible hooligan and be too afraid to try anything with the Don again.

(The room breaks up with laughter.)

Spike: Hey, what are you going to do, Head Boy, wrinkle your expensive suit? You'd probably knock yourself out, too. You probably think it's like the movies where you stand back and just lean over. No, you gotta get reeeal close and badda bam bam padoodle oodle sha ba ba doo ba-

Wesley: Please. Do stop.

Spike: Anyway, you get a fat lump on your head and you see stars for a while. Wouldn't want to mess up your pretty-boy face. Not everyone can have a scar over their eye and look as handsome as me. Come here.

(Wraps arm around Wesley's shoulder)

Spike: You are taking this very personal, and this is business. (Begins kissing Wesley's head, neck and face) Gunn? (Kiss, kiss) He is taking this personally.

(Spike begins to run his hands slowly under Wesley's jacket and to rub his crotch against the bulge in Wesley's trousers.)

Spike: (whispers) Are you taking this personally? Huh? (Nibbles on Wesley's earlobe.)

Wesley: Why can't you people accept that British doesn't always mean gay? Please. (disentangles himself from Spike) Where does it say that you can't head butt a business client and his short, balding, squat friend? I've read all the books. All of them! I've never seen such a rule.

Spike: Come on, Wesley...

Wesley: No, I'm talking about a short, squatty, ugly man that is a minor league authority figure that probably has peep holes in the girls', no, make that the boys' locker room. We have people who work for the papers. Wouldn't they like a story like that? Wouldn't that help draw attention away from who butted whom?

Gunn: Yeah. Yeah, that could work.

Wesley: See, Spike? It isn't personal. It's only business. Now come here.

(The other men quickly file out of the room when Spike drops to his knees and begins rubbing his face over Wesley's crotch.)

Wesley: This doesn't mean I'm gay.

Spike: (muffled) Rih. Wahewah you ay.

[CUT TO: Later that day, waiting for the call to name the location]
(Doyle, Ripper and Spike are playing cards. The mewing of kittens is drowned out by the sound of Wesley practicing his "Kar-a-tay")

Wesley: Heee-YAH! Focus, old boy. Focus... Yah!

Ripper: Oy! Forgot that I made you this. (Reaches into a satchel at his side) This is a fake forehead I made to protect your face. It has padding here at the eyebrow and ventilation on the sides. We don't want no sweat giving you away.

Wesley: (takes it and slaps it over his forehead) Marvelous! I did worry about bruising.

Ripper: Now listen. You let them talk. Listen to everything you can, then when you see an opening, stand up. They'll stand up to see what's going on. Go for Sollozzo first. He fights dirty, so be prepared to jam a finger in his eye. Hit Snyder last. He's a cry-baby-type, so he'll sit there and try to hold his water instead of running off. Now once you're done, drop the fake forehead and don't make eye contact. Just get out of there. We'll have a car waiting for you.

(Phone rings, Gunn answers in background.)

Gunn: I got the name of the place. It's the Peach Pit.

Doyle: That's perfect. Bunch of geezers pretending to be teenagers bitching about who's doing who. They'll be too busy trying to resurrect their careers to pay attention to you.

Spike: You going to be okay? (Places hand on Wesley's face) It's going to be a while before you can come back, what with the head-butting and all... I'll square things away with that "girlfriend" of yours while you're gone. You'll do fine.

Wesley: I shall do my best. (Kisses every man full on the lips before going outside and climbing in the car waiting. While everyone wipes their faces, except Spike, they hear a voice trailing off.)

Wesley: That doesn't mean I'm gay... (fades away)

[CUT TO: Interior of the Peach Pit]
Brenda: But Donna, you have the face of a horse.

Donna: Hee-haw!

Brenda: Donkey, whatever. Let's go get tans painted on. And get fake boobs!

Donna: (stomps hoof on ground twice)

Brenda: I know you've had two boob jobs. Can't you think about me for once? Dylan? Get me a fucking Diet Coke.

Dylan: (mutters) One day I'm changing my name to Pike and leaving your bitch ass...

Brenda: What was that?

Dylan: Nothing.

(Door opens, three men walk in.)

Ethan Sollozzo: (sitting down) Wesley. I'm glad we could meet. Do you mind?

(Snyder indicates that he wants to search Wesley for weapons. Wesley stands straight, chin jutted out.)

Snyder: (after taking too much pleasure in searching) He's clean.

Ethan: Snyder, since Wesley and I are both from the "Mother Country," we're going to speak English. Do you mind?

Snyder: Huh? No, whatever. Go on ahead. (Digs into a double cheeseburger)

Ethan: Now Wesley, this isn't how I had things planned.

Wesley: I must say that I find it odd that someone who worships chaos would have a plan.

Ethan: (chuckling) Well, if you don't write things down, they don't get done. Now, about your father... I hated that it happened, but he wouldn't listen to my plans. My hands were tied. Now, let's work out something together, shall we?

Wesley: What I want is a guarantee that no one is going to trip and fall on my father with a pair of chop-sticks.

Ethan: Fine. I'll do my best.

Wesley: I... I feel the need to stand. (Stands up abruptly)

(Ethan stands.)

Wesley: You're a very handsome man. Roughish.

Ethan: (relaxes his stance.) Why thank you. I work hard at it.

Wesley: (coming closer) It shows.

Snyder: (two-handedly shoving the burger in his mouth) I knew it. I knew English meant queer.

Wesley:(running a hand up Ethan's arm) Give us a kiss.

(As Ethan leans in, eyes closed, Wesley jams his forehead into Ethan's nose, breaking it, and eliciting a womanish scream as Ethan crumples to the floor. Snyder drops his burger and begins to wet himself.

Wesley attempts to ram his forehead into Snyder's, but Snyder ducks and throws a fist out. Wesley punches down on Snyder's fist, who circles his arm around and brings his fist down atop Wesley's head. Snyder then tries to poke at Wesley's eyes, but Wesley throws up a hand to his nose, effectively blocking the gouge. Wesley wiggles the other hand and when Snyder is transfixed by it's motion, Wesley slaps Snyder's forehead, knocking him out
.)

Wesley: (leaving the restaurant and dropping the fake forehead on the ground) Nyuck nyuck nyuck.

~~~TBC here, pls

Last thing: Happy Birthday, orchid_slayer!

Comments

( 48 comments — Leave a comment )
likeadeuce
Jan. 20th, 2005 01:34 pm (UTC)
you know, Wes/Spike dialogue is basically another word for oral verbal sex. I haven't even read this chapter yet, but I had to make this comment immediately. now going to read and comment again.
likeadeuce
Jan. 20th, 2005 01:40 pm (UTC)
the peach pit! bwahahaha!
now I want to make an icon of Wes saying, "This doesn't mean that I'm gay!"

love this Spike line. . .
So we wait. And plot. And talk out loud to ourselves.

pure genius. you are determined to make me rent this movie, aren't you? I'm actually surprised by how well I remember it, since it's been years since I sat down and watched it through.
stoney321
Jan. 20th, 2005 01:46 pm (UTC)
You should rent it. And see how my story really reflects the undercurrent of angst in the original. And how Vampires = Italians is a perfect metaphor. Ha ha ha! But it is.

The innuendo (both single and double entendres) were cracking me up. It's always good to see other people are laughing with me...

(I think people have forgotten how HILARIOUS Buffy and Angel shows were... I'm burned out on angst.)
likeadeuce
Jan. 20th, 2005 01:56 pm (UTC)
she plugs she plugs
the "do you mind if we speak English"? reminded me of Michaels Caine & Myers in "Goldmember" (the only scene in any of the Austin Powers films that had me really doubled over with laughter)

did you catch the latest Keen Buffy? because the W/S sexual tension does not go unremarked. THEY still don't get it, but that's the lovely of cop-buddy slashiness.

I'm on a movie kick so I might throw the original Godfather on my queue. Bet the Roomie & Wes (the real one) would watch THAT with me -- they consider most of my viewing choices to be on the weird side ;).
stoney321
Jan. 20th, 2005 02:00 pm (UTC)
Re: she plugs she plugs
Bah - I'm behind on my reading. I'm behind on my email. Sending kids upstairs to do their reading, so I'll catch up on Keen Buffy in five.

Crap. I'm bummed my "let's speak English" thing isn't original. Do they talk in heavy slang? Like, "Bob's your uncle," yaddah yaddah? I thought about that, but thought it was funnier to have them continue normally and Snyder sitting there shoveling food in his face.

And I really like the idea of a Stooge-esque fight between Snyder and Wesley. Because I think the Harmony/Xander cat-fight of S4 is one of the funniest things ever.
likeadeuce
Jan. 20th, 2005 02:02 pm (UTC)
Re: she plugs she plugs
oh jeez, no hurry, I just thought you might have missed it.

the "speak english" gag doesn't work the same way in Austin Powers, so no worries. it's just that they have subtitles translating the heavy slang into American.

the stooges concept was pure genius. hell, you are pure genius cupcake.

gonna hide somewhere and figure out how to rescue Fred ;)
inlovewithnight
Jan. 20th, 2005 02:02 pm (UTC)
Confession: I have never actually seen The Godfather.
This is far more entertaining than I imagine it to be, however.
::wants a fake forehead like that::
likeadeuce
Jan. 20th, 2005 02:03 pm (UTC)
oh my, you will totally feel like you've seen the film once you get around to it, because Stoney's parody is so brilliantly spot-on!
stoney321
Jan. 20th, 2005 02:13 pm (UTC)
Pshaw. I've just studied that movie alot, and know it backwards and forwards. It's in my top ten all-time greatest movies, but juuuust below The Silence of the Lambs.

Oh. My. God. You know what's coming next, right?
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Jan. 20th, 2005 03:09 pm (UTC)
Buffy NEEDS to be Clarice.

Or maybe Willow.

Quit yer crying! I have to finish mauling this tale before I ruin anything else...
stoney321
Jan. 20th, 2005 02:12 pm (UTC)
YOU MUST SEE IT. If you love movies, it's a must-see. A lot of metaphor and imagery used to tell a deeper story. LOVE. IT.

And when you see Sonny (Spike's bit) say "badda-beep badda-boop" hopefully you'll crack up. I re-watched the movie last night and wanted Cab Calloway to come out and sing "hidey hidey hidey hidey hie!"

But I'm a nut job.
mirasol
Jan. 20th, 2005 02:03 pm (UTC)
Badda-beep badda-boop badda-beep badda-boop shabba-shee shabba-shoo ba dum bum titty titty kitty mat pitty pitty fitty gat shabba shabba scoobie doobie boo boo pa doo.
Why can't you people accept that British doesn't always mean gay?
Peach Pit
One day I'm changing my name to Pike and leaving your bitch ass

And the whole fight between Wes and Snyder...

Excuse me, I need to change my pants, coz I'm pissing myself laughing.
stoney321
Jan. 20th, 2005 02:14 pm (UTC)
Ha ha ha! Mission accomplished.

Snyder and Jonathon are just wrapping it up in the loo, give us a sec...
mirasol
Jan. 20th, 2005 02:38 pm (UTC)
I didn't include since Wesley and I are both from the "Mother Country," we're going to speak English.

I had this feeling that you were going to become incomphrensible and use lots of awful tacky phrases, just like in Goldmember - proud title holder of unfunniest comedic character EVER. And no, I don't know what "she shat on a turtle" would mean either.

And I loved Wes's glesga kiss.
stoney321
Jan. 20th, 2005 02:49 pm (UTC)
I didn't remember the joke from Austin Powers. Derp. I thought I was original. Joke's on me!

I like that Wes needs protective head gear in order to perform the Glasgow kiss (as we call it). I like "glesga."
mirasol
Jan. 20th, 2005 03:09 pm (UTC)
No, no, no.

I'm heartbroken that you thought you weren't original. I was fully expecting a string of "bob's your uncle", "barneys", "dog and bone", "shant" and so on. Far more original to actually have them talking in English - and that's what I liked, and to be honest, found funnier.

So depressed now I've got to watch Pirates of The Caribbean. Okay, you got me. I'm watching it coz of the slashy sub-text. So sue me.
stoney321
Jan. 20th, 2005 03:10 pm (UTC)
Here's my naughty icon!
Ha ha ha! I'm laughing at your icon.

(I thought it was funnier, too, so thanks.)
mirasol
Jan. 20th, 2005 03:23 pm (UTC)
Re: Here's my naughty icon!
Argh! Sometimes I hate you.

Do you know how desperate I am for them to start showing "Lost" over here?

Love and hugs for being a mean bitch.
mirasol
Jan. 20th, 2005 03:25 pm (UTC)
Re: Here's my naughty icon!
That's me being a mean bitch. Not you, sweetums.
stoney321
Jan. 20th, 2005 03:45 pm (UTC)
Whatever.








Hee!
mirasol
Jan. 20th, 2005 04:33 pm (UTC)
I’m so sorry.

Does this make it up? I’ve been pondering the question as to whether you can parody a parody? Here’s the first part of my take on Rocky Horror – Buffy style. Could suck. Wrote it in about 20 minutes. So will suck. Whatever. It's all yours.

*
Imagine the scene. Bells toll as the church doors burst open, spewing the wedding party out into the bright moonlight.

Yeah, moonlight. Work with me here, please. Moonlight’s romantic and slushy and do you really want the vampires to be wearing SPF∞? This tale would be extremely short otherwise. Aaaand back to the story…

Xander wonders since when his girlfriend had such a thing for glasses. He can hardly see a thing through these bottle-bottomers, and adjusts them as he hopes he’s congratulating the groom.

It could be a really quiet tree… because Oz is so chatty and perky, you know?

Hearing excited squealing to one side Xander takes his glasses off, just in time to see the love of his life pirouette daintily into the air, one outflung arm almost decapitating a bridesmaid just behind her, and a leg sweep snapping another girl’s head back.

In the midst of this, an arm shoots up gracefully into the air, grasping for - and yet still somehow missing by a mile - the bouquet that sails overhead. She lands and spins round, coat billowing out beautifully behind her.

There’s a lump in Xander’s throat and another one not too far below either. He’s not wigged out by her amazingly tiny yet firm boobies or her amazingly overgrown female penis©. Yes, Spike’s his girl and he’s damned proud of it – gonna prove it soon enough.

Spike stalks menacingly, err, dances daintly towards Buffy, who is clutching the bouquet. She raises a shaking fist to Buffy’s face.

“You see this? This hand that’s going to bitch-slap you down?” Buffy nods quietly, the ultimate cutting come-back on the tip of her tongue. Hers, not mine…pity. “Well, you should have been looking at the other one.”

Spike’s other delicate, lady-like hand shoots up and pulls hard on Buffy’s Miss Clairol assisted locks, before moving down and giving her a Chinese burn. Spike catches the bouquet as it drops towards the ground, and jumps about like a demented chicken, yelling that she’d got it.

Buffy just stomps away, muttering about crazy-assed freaking gender-confused psychos… even though Andrew wasn’t invited to the wedding.

Spike flutters her eyelashes coquettishly, and smiles at Xander. “Sorry, she just makes me so mad. How can anybody like her? Look how she made me act… I’m a lady, don’t you know? With lady’s things...”

Everyone seems to melt away as Xander and Spike walk hand in amazingly the same sized hand into the graveyard. Because moonlight and the recently-deceased? So romantic.

Xander knows that if he sees Spike’s face clearly he’ll wuss out, so the glasses go back on just in time for him to fall backwards. He bites back a curse – who the hell puts gravestones in a graveyard?

A deep breath and he launches into it, imagining an orchestra swelling behind him. “Spike, I… I’ve got something to say… I really liked the… skilful way… you beat that girl-”

“I thought that we weren’t going to talk about Mistress Desires’ Dungeon of Catholic Guilt and Auto-erotic Flagellation again. They really didn’t like the furry orang-utan suit. Even with the titty tassels and mitre.”

Xander’s heart swells. The orchestra swells, again. Everything swells, but before he collapses from anaphlyactic shock Xander manages to show his ring to Spike.

“Bloody typical.” Spike grumbles as Xander’s ring falls away from his her grasp. With the grace inherent in her delicate woman’s frame she picks Xander up and carries him to their car.

Will Xander and Spike reach their destination? Will Spike ever get to touch Xander’s ring? Will I be bothered to write anymore of this?

And just who did Oz marry?

Overgrown female penis©Stoney pics inc.
All other situations and characters are an illusion and a figment of the imagination.
somecandytalkin
Jan. 20th, 2005 02:09 pm (UTC)
Spike: (whispers) Are you taking this personally? Huh? (Nibbles on Wesley's earlobe.)

Wesley: Please. (disentangles himself from Spike)Why can't you people accept that British doesn't always mean gay?


You write up some good Spike/Wesley...

and this:

Wesley: Please. Do stop.
Hee! It's like I'm there.

PS: You got that right about the cat-fight:)
stoney321
Jan. 20th, 2005 02:15 pm (UTC)
STOMPY CAT!! Whoo hoo!!

The cat fight is so hilarious... The slow-mo? I tried for half of it's glory.

HEEEEE! 10Q.
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Jan. 20th, 2005 02:16 pm (UTC)
The "kissing every man full on the lips" bit still has me laughing. I'm such a dork....

I owe you feedback!! Off to read!
violethamster
Jan. 20th, 2005 02:39 pm (UTC)
This was freakin' hilarious. I can't even begin to quote, because I'd never stop. Okay, I have to. Absolute favorite parts, apart from the regular favorite parts: "we're going to speak English", the Peach Pit bunch of geezers pretending to be teenagers, "I must say that I find it odd that someone who worships chaos would have a plan".
stoney321
Jan. 20th, 2005 02:47 pm (UTC)
Hooray! SOmeone laughed at the chaos thing! His first plot (costumes) was so silly. He had an organized layout of candles and repeated chants, etc. Didn't they eventually poke fun at that on the show? Was it Oz?

Thanks for playing and I'm digging the new icon! Fort!!
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Jan. 20th, 2005 05:22 pm (UTC)
Hope it's a good one!
cityphonelines
Jan. 20th, 2005 05:17 pm (UTC)
One day I'm changing my name to Pike and leaving your bitch ass...

I now have the 90210 theme song in my head.

Marvelous! I did worry about bruising.

And that was too perfect.

That's all I got for today, no wit, just love.
stoney321
Jan. 20th, 2005 05:21 pm (UTC)
Vinnie!! Come back! i mees ewe.

And thanks, but I still meees ewe.
cityphonelines
Jan. 20th, 2005 05:35 pm (UTC)
Still here, just brane ded. Write more Godfather Jossed for me! I wakes mah brane up.
lynnenne
Jan. 20th, 2005 05:28 pm (UTC)
Brenda: But Donna, you have the face of a horse.

Donna: Hee-haw!

Brenda: Donkey, whatever. Let's go get tans painted on. And get fake boobs!

Donna: (stomps hoof on ground twice)

Brenda: I know you've had two boob jobs. Can't you think about me for once? Dylan? Get me a fucking Diet Coke.

Dylan: (mutters) One day I'm changing my name to Pike and leaving your bitch ass...


BWAHAHAHAHA!

You are the Godfather of mock!fic.
stoney321
Jan. 20th, 2005 06:18 pm (UTC)
HEe hee. And here I was afraid that bit would be too much...
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Jan. 20th, 2005 06:19 pm (UTC)
I didn't wtch 90210 religiously, but saw a few eps here and there. Mainly I just hate Tori Spelling and Psycho Hose Beast a lot.

If Cab Calloway had been one of the 7 Dwarves, Snow White would have ended up on the hookah by the end of that movie. "Swinger" indeed.
(Deleted comment)
cityphonelines
Jan. 20th, 2005 08:09 pm (UTC)
Re: I knew it. I knew English meant queer.
Random: Did you know there's a S/X/A(us) fic where Xander is forced to wear a gold bikini.

...

I've read too much fic.
stoney321
Jan. 20th, 2005 09:42 pm (UTC)
Re: I knew it. I knew English meant queer.
I love you two more than words can say. More than words!

blood tears and gold bikinis.

My life is pretty terrific.
crayonbreakygal
Jan. 20th, 2005 09:19 pm (UTC)
"British doesn't always mean gay?" Hehehehehe. Yeah, right. I keep going between having Wesley have that mobster accent and the English accent. I'm so confused.
stoney321
Jan. 20th, 2005 09:45 pm (UTC)
Wesley has his early "Demon Rogue hunter/Watcher" accent. SO far (in my head) only Angel has a different voice.

Thanks for catching up on each chapter! I've turned another... Muwah ha ha ha!

(As to the NC-17, not this one. I'm keeping it clean. All of the others are naughty, but they are making fun of such horrible things as Mpreg and Weepy!I Love him with all my undead heart!Spike/Angel fic.

Like the Gone With The Wind parody - stored in my memories - with Wesley are Rhett Butler...)

For example. Heee!
ex_dovil323
Jan. 20th, 2005 10:53 pm (UTC)
You my little cinnamin muffin of gorgeousness are one of the funniest people in fandom. Take that bow!

ps. STILL haven't sent off that bloomin package, haven't forgotten, guilty thoughts and all that and will do it soon before Bob the NZ mail donkey dies of old age! Hey, hope you like plastic tikis - ha!
stoney321
Jan. 21st, 2005 06:08 am (UTC)
No worries about the package. I don't even remember to expect one until you say that you HAVEN'T SENT IT. Ha ha ha!

*bows*

And there is something wrong with me as I read "tikis" as "tits." Plastic tits.

You are my souffle of beautiful jokitude. *chomp*
beadattitude
Jan. 24th, 2005 05:36 pm (UTC)
::snorts hot cocoa up nose:: Nyuck nyuck? God, I love slapstick.

::lobs cream pie at you::
stoney321
Jan. 24th, 2005 08:25 pm (UTC)
Well, if I can't cut my flist with the Stooges jokes and the free-form scat jazz, nothing will scare you people.

You are all my children now.

::licks pie off arm because I am sad and hungry::
beadattitude
Jan. 24th, 2005 08:40 pm (UTC)
Oh sweetheart. ::tenderly mashes pie directly into your face:: Have some more.

Zabee do boo de dop wop flooey.....
mskakaako
Jan. 24th, 2005 10:38 pm (UTC)
Hooo boy...I never watched 90210 either. Hahaha...your Spike is such a slut. He's the village bicycle!
_beetle_
Feb. 2nd, 2005 01:22 pm (UTC)
Spike: (flexing his facial muscles to show off his killer cheekbones, and framing his crotch with his hands) So we wait. And plot. And talk out loud to ourselves.

Wesley: Why can't you people accept that British doesn't always mean gay? Please. (disentangles himself from Spike) Where does it say that you can't head butt a business client and his short, balding, squat friend? I've read all the books. All of them! I've never seen such a rule.

Have you seen Jude Law, lately? British may not always equal gay, but it's a damn shame in some cases.

Donna: (stomps hoof on ground twice)

Brenda: I know you've had two boob jobs. Can't you think about me for once? Dylan? Get me a fucking Diet Coke.

Dylan: (mutters) One day I'm changing my name to Pike and leaving your bitch ass...

Brenda: What was that?

Dylan: Nothing.


Oh, crap *breathless with laughter* Dylan did kinda turn into a puss after awhile.

Wesley attempts to ram his forehead into Snyder's, but Snyder ducks and throws a fist out. Wesley punches down on Snyder's fist, who circles his arm around and brings his fist down atop Wesley's head. Snyder then tries to poke at Wesley's eyes, but Wesley throws up a hand to his nose, effectively blocking the gouge. Wesley wiggles the other hand and when Snyder is transfixed by it's motion, Wesley slaps Snyder's forehead, knocking him out.)

Wesley: (leaving the restaurant and dropping the fake forehead on the ground) Nyuck nyuck nyuck.


*salaaming* You're my God, now.
( 48 comments — Leave a comment )

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Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

Time Wot It Is

April 2017
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