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In case your day is dragging and you'd like some distractions, I've got a few photos of my b-day party under the cut. I got a piñata! Hee.

[Oh, and for anyone that may have worried about me having Something Dreadful in my Sinuses, I do. It's a cold. =/]



First, on my actual b-day, since the Mr. was in Chicago on business, I marked the date with a fabulous bottle of wine from a small vineyard in Napa that we own shares in. It's super tasty, old school big-flavor Cab. Rounded that out with some delicious goat cheese brie, fresh pear tomatoes and some pepperoccinis, because I love them like I love LIFE. The beautiful tulips are from my lovely friend flaming_muse who remembered that they're my favorite. <3


(I created a lovely little tableau, just for you, Flist. Lol.)


Since Miss Emily is my early birthday present (i.e.: her birthday is the day before mine) I always try and focus the Big Excitement on her. (Side note: I was born the day before my mother's birthday - and somehow it was always turned into a celebration of her, too. Keep in mind that this is the woman that wore HER wedding dress to MY wedding reception.) <-- I will never tire of that story, because it is nucking futs.

She had a fun party Friday night with a teeny elfkin child that is like Emily, but condensed and multiplied. I wanted to gobble her up, she's so teeny and cute. THEY ARE TOO SMALL TO GO TO JUNIOR HIGH, OH MY GOD. Sorry. Mom moment. The next night we had some of our couple friends over, as well as my wonderful sister dampersnspoons and her husband. They are kind of our favorite couple, so that's a double bonus.

My buddy Johnny (the sculpture artist) whipped up a piñata for me and made it a Stallioncrest-inspired treat. LOL.



They told me it was filled with "adult items" so I sent the kids away. Oh, I didn't need to, turns out, because they'd filled it with incontinence pads, moth balls, those toilet hangy things that grandmas have in their powder baths, Ensure meal replacers, Aspercreme, support hose (hahaha), a spray can of Aqua Net, and about 20 bottles of airplane-travel sized booze bottles. Perfect for hiding in a purse for church. Oh! And a turban for those days I just don't want to do my hair!

It was SO packed, in fact, that I had to go Walking Dead on it to open it up. I got the neck torn open, then had to bite off (I didn't have to, but why wouldn't I?) a leg to get all of my treats to rain down. Ha.

Here is my brother in law with his best "Mee-maw" face in front of my haul.




I have never had a piñata before, so that was a lot of fun. Yes, I know, I'm from Texas, and they are super common, but I have a white parent from Utah. You don't see many piñatas in Provo, is what I'm saying. And my mother is a racist. (Why do you think I have nothing to do with her? Dreadful woman.)

The Mr. was in charge of food, so I had nothing to do but sit back and relax and visit. Very nice.



As one does when they become old and boring (hooray!) I've been thinking on all the things I wanted to accomplish by the time I hit 40 - and how arbitrary that birthday is. It's kind of ridiculous to set up expectations for having ticked off x number of items on your Life Goals by a certain age. Don't get me wrong: I think it's important to set goals. I just don't think people need to beat themselves up for not achieving them by a specific time stamp. (I say this so I don't have a sad, of course.)



Things I wished I had accomplished by 40

  • Be a professional actress by Hollywood standards - either TV/Film - or a cast regular on SNL
  • have published something I've written
  • have travelled to every continent (barring Antarctica - I'm notoriously a wimp in the cold)


Things I've done/have experienced instead

  • I've done regional commercials (and one National print ad when I was a child) and feature length films (independent, but that means they were fun to work on)

  • I've been named "the most profane character in film history" and the Italians said they "liked my sleaze." Aw, you'll make me blush! :D

  • I've been married twice

  • I've scaled mountains

  • I've scaled cliff faces (and have gone "Aussie style" which means rappelling upside down)

  • I've gone skydiving, and I liked it so much I enrolled in RW school and started training for canopy work. (I gave it up when my husband started traveling again. Let's face it: skydiving is dying until you stop yourself.)

  • I've put myself through college, and maintained a 3.87 while working full time and going to school full time

  • I've had some crazy-ass jobs over the years to pay for college

  • In one of those jobs (fry cook in a bowling alley, no REALLY) a regular customer wrote a poem about my grilled ham and cheese sandwiches and read it to me. All five minutes of it. No, I am not making this up. (He was...a little touched in the head.)

  • I've sewn an entire wardrobe for myself

  • I've had natural childbirth (I do not recommend that, by the way. Would you have a root canal without Novocaine?)

  • I've broken my kneecap (while hiking - and had to hike back over a mile)

  • I've rebuilt a car from the tires up (Buick Special, 1964 baby)

  • I've been kidnapped

  • I've beaten up said kidnapper (it was how I got away, so it was necessary)

  • I've had the state of Texas pay my high school to build me my own lab for Science Fair research

  • I've cloned organisms (this was 1990, so it was a big deal)

  • I've set someone's leg bone when they wrecked their motorcycle in front of my apartment while we waited for an ambulance

  • I've moved to a completely new place over a thousand miles away - all by myself - and started over

  • Twice. (The second time was with an 18 months old son and a 4 month old baby girl.

  • I turned $.38 and a suitcase with hastily grabbed things for me and my two babies into a life that was safe and happy. Eventually.

  • I had to live in some seriously poor conditions in order to survive and have seen a man beat his girlfriend to death on a street corner and another man's throat get cut. Life experiences aren't always positive ones.

  • I've been a witness in a murder trial Unrelated to above) - which involved my OB-GYN, if you can believe it. He was murdered by his wife, and was found by a hiker in the desert by his beeper going off when I went into labor with #2 (his wife and lover got Life in Prison)

  • I was in labor with #2 for three weeks. That is not an exaggeration. Contractions 2 minutes apart, then would stop for a few hours, only to start back up again. Utah law meant they couldn't induce me without my doctor's consent. (And where was my doctor? Lime'd in the desert. O_O)

  • I've paid off my student loans before they could default :D

  • I currently have a perfect credit score :D

  • I have put myself back in school and became a Texas Master Gardener

  • I have raised three kids that everyone adores. No, really. Well, adults do. Other kids suck when it comes to my boy because of his Aspergers. But all three of my children are interesting, intelligent, and funny. AND HAVE MANNERS.

  • I have walked 60 miles in less than 19 hours (18:23, to be exact) and have done that TWICE.

  • I have raised thousands for charity. (I do need a new charity, though, because I can no longer support Komen.)

  • I have made my own shower, table, and foraged for my own food in the outdoors

  • I can do pull ups and chin ups - still

  • I can change a tire

  • I can rebuild a car engine

  • I have written four novel-length stories (whether they're great isn't the point. I've at least done that much!)

  • I have assisted the Texas Rangers in my meager way when they busted the YFZ-Ranch in El Dorado, Texas. Some of the intel I gave them led to an arrest and conviction.

  • I have removed people from my life that caused me harm and come away stronger and healthier as a result

  • I have been a straight A student

  • I have been a great wife (not always, but cumulatively speaking. :D )

  • My kids know that no matter what, they can talk to me - and they do, regardless of how frustrating it can be

  • I have turned $5 into $1325 (after tipping out) on a craps table in Las Vegas

  • I have gone behind the scenes in Vegas with a casino owner and ooooh, do you not ever want to play Roulette or cards where they hold the deck. Trust me.

  • I have watched a man go through $10 MILLION in a few minutes playing Baccarat

  • I have made and kept some pretty amazing friendships

  • I've been linked on Cracked, Salon, Jezebel, and a few other places for my Twilight sporking

  • I have organized a "coin project" for my son and have been brought to tears more than once by the generous nature of people (We STILL haven't finished cataloguing every single coin that you all sent to us. I'm still blown away every time I see our project table laden with maps, coins, and printed out data to accompany them) And I just re-read that link - hit the tag to see the later ones from Antarctica! - and got choked up all over again. <3

  • I have Real Life friends on every single continent of this earth (well, the one on Antarctica is virtual, but she's snail-mailed me in RL.) :D

  • I have touched moon rocks. :)



There's probably something I'm missing there, but hey. It's a pretty good list. For bad or good, I've lived a pretty damn full life so far. Here's to 40 more. *clink*

(And I really need to get rid of this head cold so I can indulge in a glass of wine! I've had ONE since my birthday. Why waste it on a dulled palate?)

Comments

( 44 comments — Leave a comment )
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bdbdb
Aug. 13th, 2012 06:35 pm (UTC)
<3
stoney321
Aug. 13th, 2012 06:50 pm (UTC)
<3 to YOU!! And big squishy hugs that lift you up off your feet a little bit, and make you giggle. :)
darkhawkhealer
Aug. 13th, 2012 06:55 pm (UTC)
Seriously, I want to do half of half your list by the time I'm 40! You must be both super strong and super disciplined to have put yourself through school with a great GPA while working AND be able to do pull ups and hike.

Woman, you are wonderful and awesome and I am so glad you had a great birthday. Hope you have a better one in 40 more years. <3
stoney321
Aug. 13th, 2012 07:10 pm (UTC)
P90X, baby! You too can do pull ups at age 40! Or 22. Or whatever. :D The GPA, that was all sheer determination to not lose any of the meager scholarships that helped me pay for books or housing.

<3 It's not been the 40 years I imagined for myself when I was younger, but it's been a pretty darn interesting 40 years.

THANK YOU. That's pretty sweet of you to say. :)
zyrya
Aug. 13th, 2012 07:33 pm (UTC)
You are as awesome as your piñata! You're so loving and strong and inspirational.

*hughughugALLTHEHUGS*
stoney321
Aug. 13th, 2012 07:59 pm (UTC)
I FEEL THE SAME ABOUT YOU, IN FACT!! I was *just* telling a friend of mine about your adorable chickens and their fabulous coop! You're one of my favorite people that I've met through LJ, without question.

<3
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Aug. 13th, 2012 08:00 pm (UTC)
Why, thank you, kindly! :D
kuzu_no_ha
Aug. 13th, 2012 08:11 pm (UTC)
That's brilliant. Looks like a wonderful time!
stoney321
Aug. 13th, 2012 09:47 pm (UTC)
It was a lot of fun! Fajitas, margaritas and friends = great night.
ruthless1
Aug. 13th, 2012 08:14 pm (UTC)
Honestly - reading what you DID accomplish compared to what you wished you had accomplished makes me think your life has been way more exciting than your wish list could ever have been. Major Hollywood stars do NOT do any of the things that you have done. Well maybe a few of them of them have done an interesting thing or two. BUT I LIKE YOU BETTER!
stoney321
Aug. 13th, 2012 09:49 pm (UTC)
Haha - unless I was an action movie star and got to travel to exotic locations for shoots! ;D I wouldn't change anything I've done - even the bad stuff - because it got me where I am, and I'm rather happy with where my life has led me to this point. :)

I LIKE YOU LIKING ME BETTER, MISSY! <3
... - ruthless1 - Aug. 13th, 2012 09:55 pm (UTC) - Expand
turnonmyheels
Aug. 13th, 2012 08:34 pm (UTC)
you are *so* amazing, in every single way
stoney321
Aug. 13th, 2012 09:49 pm (UTC)
I am going to tattoo this on my eyelids for those rough days when I think the exact opposite. :)

<3
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Aug. 13th, 2012 10:45 pm (UTC)
Have I not talked to you about either of those?! I tell you what, as if my delivery for #2 wasn't stressful enough with a 15 month old and 3 weeks of labor, that was going on. O_O

As for the other, that was a rough year, being 19. Crazy psycho boyfriend that wasn't ready for me to break up with him.

I sure am most proud of those children of mine, I must say. :D

<3 <3
lynnenne
Aug. 13th, 2012 10:37 pm (UTC)
Your pinata is STALLIONCREST! This may be the best pinata ever. (I do not know how to get the squiggle on the "n", sorry.)

I have a cousin who died of breast cancer at the age of 29. There was so much she never got to do. After her funeral, I told my parents, "If if they told me I was going to die tomorrow, it would suck, but at least I could say I've had a good run." You've had a good run, too. Here's to us!

<3
stoney321
Aug. 13th, 2012 10:47 pm (UTC)
IS THAT NOT HILARIOUS!? Ha, I will forgive your piñata the lack of a tilde.

Oh, that's horrible about your cousin. :( And I feel that way, too. If it all comes to smash, I'm pretty happy with what I HAVE done, even if it's not everything. <3

*clinks glasses*
dovil
Aug. 13th, 2012 11:32 pm (UTC)
I am beyond exhausted reading that list. That list is a life well lived which is fortunate what with the nosegnatdeathcold and all. There's a couple of items on there where you can legimately say that you're a hero and have changed things for the better. Jesus, what a show off. So nice. Bleurgh.

I clink you. I clink you hard, baby.
stoney321
Aug. 15th, 2012 01:40 pm (UTC)
I'm glad you're tired - that was my intent. Now I'm going to push you aside and steal all of your things. HAHA, this half-drunk bottle of shandy is mine!

Aww, you're pretty awesome, D. You've done some pretty amazing things in your life, too. Like meeting me. (lol) <-- in case some stranger comes by and doesn't realize that I was having a go.
flaming_muse
Aug. 14th, 2012 01:10 am (UTC)
You have accomplished SO MANY THINGS. Including being awesome, which is no minor feat.

<3 <3 <3
stoney321
Aug. 15th, 2012 01:41 pm (UTC)
I even went to Awesome Finishing School! (It involved a lot of repelling into corporate buildings and making souffles.)

I sure love you, Miss Muse!
roonilwazlib6
Aug. 14th, 2012 01:27 am (UTC)
Your real life sounds awesome and you've accomplished so much more than many people ever will! Happy birthday Stoney!!
stoney321
Aug. 15th, 2012 01:42 pm (UTC)
It's been an adventure, that's for sure. It's good for me to remember that it hasn't always been stay-at-home mom doings and laundry.

Even though it feels like that is all I do. ;D

*hugs* Thank you!
stephanierb
Aug. 14th, 2012 01:51 am (UTC)

Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans, and you've LIVED. That is one serious list. Well done.

STALLIONCREST!!!! I miss it so!

And because I'm working my way up to novice when it comes to gambling, what do you mean by "hold the deck"?
stoney321
Aug. 15th, 2012 01:48 pm (UTC)
STALLIONCREST!! If I can ever get a few things finished at this end, I've got people/cameras/voice actors ready to go and start filming. (I also need to learn how to edit video... =/) But I miss it, too! (I love that you love that. No, REALLY. <3)

Holding the deck of cards in their hands? You do NOT want to play a poker game, Blackjack, etc. where they hold the deck in their hands. They can control the shoots (where they put the 6 decks and use that slider to pull out cards?) and hide up to five cards under the plastic cover to pull out the card they want - but holding a deck in their hands? They know EXACTLY what card is what. You will not beat the house. you will not TIE the house.

Slot machines make up to $50 an HOUR. So. You're not going to make a lot of money, there. It's all computerized and randomized so the chances are slim. But if you've got a few singles (or coins) burning holes in your pocket, it's no big thing to maybe break even.

The best odds are at Craps. That's my game. It's pure probability (as is Roulette, but that has the WORST odds) but the chances for making money in Craps is significantly higher. Also, it's a hell of a lot of fun to play. :D

(I used to live outside of Vegas and played in the casinos a lot. It helped that I went to school with Bob Stupak's son. He's the owner - Bob, not the son - of Circus, Circus, Vegas World, the Stratosophere, and part owner of Treasure Island. He's the one that took us on a tour of behind the scenes and to the Whale Suites. Those are the 9000sqft penthouse suites that are basically the entire top floor of the hotel.)
firesprite1105
Aug. 14th, 2012 05:55 am (UTC)
That is a pretty fucking awesome list of shit you've done, Stoney.
stoney321
Aug. 15th, 2012 01:49 pm (UTC)
I think so! :D It's nice to remember that I'm not just a chauffeur to kids and maker of healthful dinners. <3
surly_sue
Aug. 15th, 2012 06:13 am (UTC)
Hello! I've been a recent-ish lurker(about a year and a half) and big fan of your journal. That is an excellent life list above and I have to say that I just admire the hell out of how you live your life.
If it's not to weird to say, I have a list of real and fictional women under the heading "My Alternate Mom Wishlist", and you're on it(even though I'm 28 and you would have had to have had me when you were 12)!
Also, I like to think that I can somehow pick up the awesome qualities of other Lauras just through sharing the same name.
stoney321
Aug. 15th, 2012 01:52 pm (UTC)
Hello to you! Oh, I love when people come out of lurkdom!

...can I just say that I also have a list like that?! LOL, the Supernanny is on it. (I just want to sit in her lap and get a hug. Let's not make it weird. hahaha.) What an honor! Thank you very much!

(And yes - by virtue of being Lauras, we can absorb all other Laura qualities from every Laura we meet. SOON WE WILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD! Or the really awesome booth at the back of the restaurant. EITHER/OR.)

<3 Much love to you!
... - surly_sue - Aug. 16th, 2012 02:32 am (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Aug. 16th, 2012 03:18 am (UTC) - Expand
... - surly_sue - Aug. 16th, 2012 08:25 am (UTC) - Expand
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( 44 comments — Leave a comment )

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Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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