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I miss having a fandom. :(

Which might sound strange, because I am still fannish about some shows. This post pretty much sums up how I feel about current fannish trends, aka - rolling around in spoilers and speculations and red herrings and becoming UNBELIEVABLY ANGRY about things and then spending the season bitching about how those spoilers and speculations and red herrings weren't accurate. (Oh, you don't say?)

I have not one single fannish Tumblr on my feed now. No one can be trusted (aside from my Miss Muse), I have painfully found out. I took K_B off my feed last night because someone put in their g.d. author's notes to a fic post "now that we all need a little..." blah blah - which means that they are hinting about a spoiler/speculation/red herring and now I AM INFECTED WITH IT. :(

Everyone can have the fannish experience they want. Which seems to be that they want to be angry and hate a show they continue to watch (oh my god, don't even get me started on the BZUH?-ness of that). So why can't I have the fannish experience I want? Which is to watch the show when it airs, and then talk - BEHIND A CUT - about what I liked, etc? Because people are selfish, that's why. I'm sorry if that makes you angry with me. (People who don't care about my wishes and wants make ME angry.) As flaming_muse said: spoilers should be OPT IN, not OPT OUT.

I've had four different fics on my hard drive that I've essentially deleted. I can't even consider moving forward with any of them, because my joy in the show and sharing it are pretty much gone - not to mention the whole "feeling paralyzed about writing the future with hints of what's to come having been carelessly posted."

I'm just tired of selfish behavior. It's like the majority of the people on the internet exhibit ADD behavior: complete lack of impulse control and thinking things through, or having empathy for others. /killjoy.

There are a handful of people that I enjoy in this fandom, and I'll continue to read them (and I'm talking, like six people), but man - the rest of the fandom has pretty much killed it for me. I've been in one fandom or another since I was, hmm. 11? I'm 40. I've never had such a negative experience. I say this not to be a whiner, but to stress how UNUSUAL this behavior is. This is not how fandoms typically behave, n00bs. As I tell my kids and their friends: Manners are free, so there's no excuse for you to not have any.

Not that it's a hardship to other fan-types in Glee that I'm not really wanting to play ball anymore, I'm not trying to prop myself up in importance (because let's face it - I'm not.) I'm just expressing myself in my personal fannish space.

ION, I bought my son skinny jeans and they bag on him. O_O The child eats almost $200 in groceries A WEEK. If I could bottle his metabolism...

[ETA]: Just to clear the record: I'm not trying to be all sniffy/flouncing. I'm expressing my frustration, is all. (And it should go without saying that there should be NO MENTIONS OF SPOILERS OF ANY KIND in comments here. Or speculation. Or red herrings. Or mention of Brussels sprouts. Because those are gross and make you fart.)

Comments

( 84 comments — Leave a comment )
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hazyjayne
Aug. 17th, 2012 02:54 pm (UTC)
All of what you both say; to be honest I am using this (avoiding fandom which means I am so far behind on Near Misses :() as a good reason to work on other things (work, college). I'm hoping the situation will improve when the season starts again.
stoney321
Aug. 17th, 2012 02:58 pm (UTC)
No no no! Do not avoid Near Misses! I PROMISE, if anything is going to make you love the show again, it's that story. It's exactly what the writers would have written, had Klaine not met on the stairs, I'm telling you. <3

But yes - being responsible in other areas of your life is always a good thing. (I do think you should reward yourself with a catch up read, though. :D)
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mystmoon1
Aug. 17th, 2012 03:13 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry to hear that you're so disillusioned by the fandom. I love your work and would be sad to see you go. I am very sad that you deleated your work. I do tend to agree with you. (not exactly, but that's ok).

I hope that when the season starts, you can enjoy it again.
*hugs*
stoney321
Aug. 17th, 2012 03:18 pm (UTC)
I hope I can enjoy it, too. (Well, I'm sure that I WILL enjoy the show, I just don't know about sharing it with fandom at large. It seems that the majority of people just want to rip the show apart, and that's just not how I want to play the game, you know?)

I'm genuinely curious (because I haven't ever had a negative experience with you, so I'm just interested) about what your differences are with my approach to fandom?

Also, thank you for being sweet about my few contributions. :)
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brunettepet
Aug. 17th, 2012 03:18 pm (UTC)
I have never understood the pleasure of being spoiled for a show or hating on a show and still watching it just so you can hate on it some more. You're no longer a fan if all you can do is tear a show or a character or an actor down. Turn the television off and walk away.

Put on your mad scientist pants and get to work on that metabolism juice! I am in dire need of a boost.
stoney321
Aug. 17th, 2012 03:22 pm (UTC)
Okay, so I don't like everything on True BLood. There are very specific things I watch that show for. But those things? I FREAKING LOVE. (Eric, Pam, New!Tara, Jason Stackhouse, Russel Edgiington...)

I just ignore the other parts.

Man, I would really like a boost of that Metabolism, too. IT DID NOT COME FROM MY SIDE OF THE FAMILY, let me just put that out there.
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shing_
Aug. 17th, 2012 03:22 pm (UTC)
I feel your pain. I stopped reading forums because of the negativity. So much hate! And yet, the people who hate it the most are the first ones posting on the episode threads and/or the most active. I live in a very small corner of the fandom where I only see whispers of the wank/crazy. I'm not much of a spoiler-phobe though I do try to avoid it as much as possible so I understand the frustration there too.
stoney321
Aug. 17th, 2012 03:25 pm (UTC)
*clings to you* Yep - no more forums for me. No more comms, etc. It's just not the experience I want AT. ALL.

And you're right on the money with the people that seem to want to complain the loudest are always the first to comment! Or are the most prolific, etc.

Which...knock yourselves out (those people). I'm just not hanging on those corners any more. I concede the territory and have retreated to my own space. =/
thegourmez
Aug. 17th, 2012 03:24 pm (UTC)
Totally concur with your description of how Glee fandom operates--whine and moan about spoilers only to see that things play out a bit differently in the actual episode and then whine and moan about the difference between the speculated expectation and the actual event. It's beyond silly, but I still admit to engaging in it to a point. Personally, I just don't let any spoiler rile me up because how on Earth do we know how it'll really play out? We don't. I'd suggest you think of that in reference to the Author's Note that spoiled you too--we really DON'T know how things will play out. You shouldn't let probably misunderstood future events interfere with your writing, because that writing is beautiful and deserves to be seen!

In other words, if you love writing it, please continue because plenty of us love reading it!
stoney321
Aug. 17th, 2012 03:29 pm (UTC)
Well, thank you very much for the comment re: my writing, but I'm afraid that just ignoring it doesn't work for me. I have a very vivid imagination, and I can't dump those worries regarding spoiled storylines that easily. :(

It just ruins the whole experience for me. I don't flip to the back of the book; I don't want to know what's going to happen in a movie or TV show. I like sitting down, a blank slate, and letting all of the hard work that the cast and crew put into their project wow me as they intended it to. *shrug*

I know that's a different thing in this particular fandom; I'm just not built the same way.
darkhawkhealer
Aug. 17th, 2012 03:54 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry you're having difficulties with fandom.

Can I ask if this is a pairing-specific problem? I've never noticed a problem with my preferred pairing's comm -- but then I'll freely admit I'm only here for the fic, and that the way I enjoy my fandom pretty much only by reading story communities and by talking to my little circle of friends through chat/chain mails/text messages. I'm a very introverted fangirl and I'm happy with that. :D

Is it possible for you to move more towards something like that -- just hanging out with other fans that have the same views/ideals?

Barring that, I know it sounds bad, but you could look for other shows to get into? Anything whose median age isn't 12? :(
stoney321
Aug. 17th, 2012 04:08 pm (UTC)
I'm used to being very active in fandoms. I *like* being active in fandoms. I want to be active in Glee, but can't because of all of the negativity and lack of concern for other fannish people. Not to say that other fandoms have been perfect - ffs, I remember all of the weekly rants in Jossverse regarding Spuffy/Bangel, "Seeing Red," etc.

But people didn't set out with determination to destroy the source material/destroy the experience for others. I feel that's how it is in Glee. People want to tear the whole show down and make it the [Insert One pairing, remove all other characters] Show.

I'm a fan of ALL of the characters. Yes, even Sebastian. I love to hate Sebastian, but I like him on my screen, when he's there. Having said that, I'm predominately a Klaine writer, and like reading Klaine stories. (I'll read any well written Gen fic, too.) I don't hate Finchel, Britanna, etc.

So now I'm faced with the fact that I cannot participate in fandom like I'd want to, because it makes me miserable. I have a very small group of people that I can talk to about the show, and do. I just want to write fanfic. I want to READ fanfic.

But not in Glee, not anymore. Barring the very few people that I know are reasonable (and respectful) fans. *shrug*

I have other fannish outlets, I mean, I run a website dedicated to joyful squeeing of various shows. Glee was my main fandom after Jossverse closed and I was adrift, looking for something to sink into.

And you know... there's that whole raising three kids, writing my own stories, being a Master Gardener stuff keeping me busy. I just am an old school fangirl, and wish I had a place to set my hat, is all.
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dareu2beme
Aug. 17th, 2012 03:55 pm (UTC)
I'm finding myself wanting to quit this fandom. I am just so upset about things... and even if they don't come to pass, I'm tired of getting upset over them. I'm just not sure what fandom to move on to.. and I'm only now just starting to get a group of friends and followers in this fandom. Sigh. I dunno.
stoney321
Aug. 17th, 2012 04:09 pm (UTC)
I'm just keeping it to my list of RL friends that I know I can enjoy the show with. IDK, man, it just sucks that actually loving the source material is such a rare thing these days. =/

I guess I'm just old and lame.
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flaming_muse
Aug. 17th, 2012 04:01 pm (UTC)
I love you, I love your writing, and I hate that your squee is being dampened. Just play with me. That's all that matters.

And I can't read the comments in this entry because god knows what people might hint about spoilers IT'S THAT BAD AROUND THE INTERNET.
stoney321
Aug. 17th, 2012 04:10 pm (UTC)
I will ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS PLAY WITH YOU. ALways. Please, you brought me into this fandom, you'll be the one to take me out. :D (Which means, wither thou goest...)

SO FAR ALL COMMENTS ARE SAFE. (Girlfriend, I would delete/screen those so fast...) but I get your point. :(
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kita0610
Aug. 17th, 2012 04:02 pm (UTC)
get offa my fucking lawn you younguns with your hula hoops and spoilers
I heary you. Tumblr is not for us. Really truly. We grew up all different.
stoney321
Aug. 17th, 2012 04:11 pm (UTC)
Re: get offa my fucking lawn you younguns with your hula hoops and spoilers
True fucking fact.

I pretty much only follow architecture blogs, gardening blogs, and Liz. Which means pictures of macaroni and cheese, the ocean, and hot bitches. And Teen Wolf. :D
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Aug. 17th, 2012 06:14 pm (UTC)
SAME. HERE.

And re-reading some greats like Being Kurt Hummel and Not The Boy Next Door. :)
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Aug. 17th, 2012 06:18 pm (UTC)
I use tumblr to promote Hey Don't Judge Me and reblog things of interest. But no more for fannish stuff. It's a mine field, and I don't use it the way the majority does, so. *hands* I learned my lesson. :(

OH MY GOD I AM SO SO SORRY ABOUT THE SPOILERS!!! That's essentially what happened to me just scrolling by fic posts and seeing spoilers referred to in the A/Ns, like it was common knowledge. SAD FACE.

I heard a spoiler a month ago and it just destroyed my ability to keep writing the story I had begun. (That and my own crippling sense of self-doubt, lol.)

But yes. You can count on Miss Muse and myself to be deathly allergic to spoilers. It's one of the many reasons why I love her so. :)
zyrya
Aug. 17th, 2012 08:17 pm (UTC)
Is the Glee fandom different demographically? I don't mean to hVIII on the young'uns. But are they younger? Is it their first fandom? Is it too shipcentric?

I worry that social media is changing tv so that spoilers, rumours, alternate plot lines are almost a shadow version of shows. TV insiders seem to fuel it as advertising and marketing. Maybe we're heading down a Choose Your Own Adventure style of tv production?

*shudder*
stoney321
Aug. 17th, 2012 08:20 pm (UTC)
I think you have hit the nail on the head. VERY young over all (there are old folks like me in it, to be sure, but I think it's very young) and possibly their first fannish experience.

I hate to say it, but you're not wrong with your speculation that spoilers are the new TV experience. I see more activity over spoilers than I do the actual show. It's...weird.
dovil
Aug. 17th, 2012 10:49 pm (UTC)
I saw your comment about True Blood above - didn't that get good again! Loving it! Which since I spent a couple of seasons with my D: face on (but still liked the characters enough not to quit), I'm really glad I stuck around. It's now back on the Must Watch TV list.

Spoilers suck. I was following a show for ages and a workmate, who knew I was a spoilerphobe, casually suddently mentioned that I'd enjoy the last episode because it had a twist that you could never see coming. Which meant I now knew that all the threads that were pointing certain ways were red herrings and meant that it would be the most unlikely person - and it was. I'm unleashing my pain on to you so that I might one day walk into the sun and smile again. Lovely person, but what a fuckwit.

My last fandom - had nothing to do with any communities whatsoever (aside from the occassional link to a story on the newsletter space, with plenty of warnings beforehand what the subject matter was about) and ruthlessly cut people out left, right and centre until I got the fannish experience that I wanted. I even told a couple of people to unfriend me because they were apparently very upset with what I was writing but weren't prepared not to read it (not that you can avoid that when it's in a shared community space, but that was the point, it was my own personal journal).

People want their own individual expectations to be satisfied by the fanish hivemind, but unfortunately that's never going to happen because people's individual expectations of what life should be like isn't satisfied by the behaviour of others, so why should online be any different. What I'm saying is that people are jerks and we should hate everyone and twitch our front window curtains aside and scowl at the neighbours kids and write angry letters to the council.

I'm going to live in a cave. Rocks will be my friends.

I am sorry that fandom is being a dick. Have you thought about drinking heavily? I find that helps most things. Except my chronic alcoholism, but I have meth for that.
stoney321
Aug. 18th, 2012 01:38 am (UTC)
I would like you to know that I've begun therapy: drinking heavily to counter the affects of a fandom gone wrong and it's helping

I'll need to apply 750L of vodka to make sure, though. Thanks, Doctor D!

(And of course - I agree with everything you've said. I remember how unhappy you got in your fandom. :( Stupid spoilers...)
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kuzu_no_ha
Aug. 17th, 2012 11:31 pm (UTC)
I was scrolling through tumblr and a friend started talking about Game of Thrones and I JUST started watching it. Like I'm on disc 2. YOU know I don't have cable and we've never met! I think he should know better. gah

And I went like this "AHHH AVERT THE EYES SCROLL SCROLL SCROLLLLLL!!!"

oh and edited to add I don't care HOW old the thing is, try to be thoughtful. I don't even spoil opera plots. Even the 400 year old ones.

Edited at 2012-08-17 11:32 pm (UTC)
stoney321
Aug. 18th, 2012 01:38 am (UTC)
HAHAHA, that's just what FM said in her post (that encouraged me to finally throw my hands in the air here) If someone doesn't know who Rosebud is, what an amazing discovery they'll have!
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(Anonymous)
Aug. 17th, 2012 11:45 pm (UTC)
Fanfic vs. fandom
I'm sorry you found out more than you wanted to.

I hope the abandonment of fic isn't a permanent thing - for me, personally, writing fic tends to be utterly separate from fandom, more of an escape than anything else. So when I'm most emotionally distrustful/detached from the show is usually my most productive time. :)
stoney321
Aug. 18th, 2012 01:36 am (UTC)
Re: Fanfic vs. fandom
I write other things, so I will ALWAYS write. Writing fanfic is an escape for me where I end up sharing things I love with others (hopefully.) I've just lost that desire to explore and share because it feels futile. (Not to mention being spoiled for things is just that: spoiled.)

I can't think about what I want to do with any fic I've got mapped out, because I'm paralyzed by the "Well, if in canon it goes THIS way..."

:(

But thanks for the virtual support. <3
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Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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