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Random bits and bobs

I spent the weekend outside in the garden because *sucks in breath, hands on hips* I happened to get a Certified Letter from my HOA saying that the weeds in my garden were unacceptable.


WAIT. Wait. Let me explain. I have no weeds. Well, there was one. ONE. This is in a flower bed that is over 60 feet long and just over 20 feet deep, mind. ONE WEED. The letter that I received a) had the wrong address in the photograph, which indeed had weeds and b) was dated in July.

To say I was affronted is putting it lightly. (Newcomers: I'm a Texas Master Gardener. I take that shit personally.) This was a perfect excuse to start the Fall rip-out of plants that are done for the season, dead head, divide bulbs, etc. So that's what I did. It's all tidy and open and empty and waiting for new babies and I am VERY HAPPY. And I took a nice picture and will be emailing the HOA later with a bit of a hemhem, you were saying? added.

I went to a neighbor's house on Friday for drinks, met the CUTEST GUY (not like that. Well, he's attractive but just keep reading) that was a) former Mormon, b) former Missionary, c) gay as rainbow glitter on a mustache and d) hilarious. AND ALSO E) A GARDENER. I told him he was my gay doppelganger and we spent hours swapping stories. ALSO. ALSO. AND. His mother and sister both sing in my father's exclusive choir. O_O I MEAN. (omg, my husband had to peel me off of him to get me home and now we're FB bff. Lol.)

AND LASTLY. My son came home from work last night with a straggly bouquet of flowers for me (he works in a grocery store as a sacker, so they were those kind of flowers) and I am still looking over at their bedraggled selves and grinning from ear to ear. I'm fairly easy to please, it must be said. <3 Also, AWWWW. <3

AND NOW I WANT NACHOS. Or guacamole. Or something fatty and bad for me. *grumbles* I am completely surrounded by a lack of bad for me foods, stupid healthy living.


( 38 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 24th, 2012 05:19 pm (UTC)
I think I hit "fatty-but-good-for-me" with lunch today: a wrap with oil-packed albacore tuna, half an avocado, and lettuce. All sorts of heart healthy oils! And I put celery salt and fresh black pepper on it and it was PERFECT.

Sep. 24th, 2012 05:38 pm (UTC)
THAT SOUNDS REALLY GOOD AND DELICIOUS. I had a Kashi microwaved meal. *kicks things* Stupid getting back into shape after a summer of margaritas and brisket tacos...

The whole world fell away as we swapped stories, let me just tell you!
Sep. 24th, 2012 05:32 pm (UTC)
I have decided, by the way, that your new Facebook BFF looks like white Jonathan from 1G5G. Just so you know. He probably doesn't, but this is how I picture him in my head. :D
Sep. 24th, 2012 05:38 pm (UTC)

FM!!!!!!!! HE DOES.
Sep. 24th, 2012 05:39 pm (UTC)
with Gerry's body and skin tone. (Thankfully not Gerry's personality, which is WAY too much for me)
Sep. 24th, 2012 05:54 pm (UTC)
See icon.


I like Gerry, because he makes me laugh, but I don't want to be friends with him. Jonathan needs to be my BFF, pronto. You're welcome to join us for a BFF threesome!
Sep. 24th, 2012 06:02 pm (UTC)
Same here, re: Gerry.

JONATHAN. I just love him. LOVE HIM. So funny and sassy and mannered and we could cuddle and watch Golden Girls and Designing Women and then make cocktails and share secrets and go out dancing! And then we'd watch him get picked up, make sure he was okay, and then wave him off while we went looking for Dean to talk snark with. :D
Sep. 24th, 2012 06:09 pm (UTC)

Except that Dean just left the show and moved to New York waaaaaaaaaaaaaah *sadface*, but this is our fantasy world so let's make it happen, anyway! We need JP, too, though, for the snarking.
Sep. 24th, 2012 06:18 pm (UTC)
I AM SO SAD ABOUT THAT, TOO. First Alex, then David and Dean... :(

But this just means our next NYC trip will include drinks with Dean and his boyfriend, Michael! (Who really needs help dressing himself, the poor dear.)
Sep. 24th, 2012 05:41 pm (UTC)
I' sorry but... bahahahahahaha! Of all people, YOU got a weed notice! Bahahahahaha!

What is an HOA?

It's very cool that you met your doppelganger, of sorts, and yay! for your wonderful son. What a sweetie!

Sep. 24th, 2012 05:52 pm (UTC)
I literally gasped and clutched at my neck. WHAT!? HOW DARE- WHAT?!

HOA = home owner's association. (I live in a community that has rules, dues, etc. and it in turn maintains your home's property value. Or in our case, increased it significantly. So I'm happy to keep things nice and tidy. WHICH IS WHY I WAS ALL GASP-SHOCK-WHAT!?)

Seriously, the flowers are just the cutest. (I mean, they're not good flowers at all, but they are THE MOST BEAUTIFUL FLOWERS BECAUSE MY SON GAVE THEM TO ME. <3 Hee.)
Sep. 24th, 2012 07:37 pm (UTC)
Okay, I find this intriguing. You all own your respective properties, but you willingly pay dues to your neighbours to police you?

Up here, those dues would typically be called "propery taxes" and the entity sending the weed notice would be called "the City". (Sadly, the City does not have nice ladies that send postcards for good behaviour.)

What is the consequence if you put a couple of rusty old cars on your front lawn and let it get overgrown with ragweed? What happens if you don't pay your dues?
Sep. 24th, 2012 08:17 pm (UTC)
We have property taxes and City Code/Enforcement, too. I live in a gated community, so our extra fees go to the golf course, private swimming pools, gardens, etc.

If we put garbage on our yard and didn't haul it away we'd get fined. Beyond that, I don't know because I can't imagine doing that! ;)
Sep. 24th, 2012 10:19 pm (UTC)
Oh! Shared property and services are involved. Now I get it...
Sep. 24th, 2012 05:57 pm (UTC)
Some HOAs are autocratic useless bodies of bureaucracy. Like mine. *huff*

Anyway. KID GIFTIES! <3
Sep. 24th, 2012 06:00 pm (UTC)
They def. can be! We've never really had any issues with ours before.

Last year they sent my husband a post card praising him for his garden. AHEM. (I think the older lady that is in charge of that correspondence has a crush on The Mr. I can't say that I blame her, though.)

(Deleted comment)
Sep. 24th, 2012 06:38 pm (UTC)
One day when I am not AFFRONTED by the letter, I will laugh at it. One day, Anne. :D

Isn't that the sweetest? And it's been a ROUGH week with that teenage boy, let me tell you. I had to bite my lip to keep from bursting into tears the whole drive home. :)
Sep. 24th, 2012 06:48 pm (UTC)
wait, was it even a photograph of your yard? Yes, I'm a bit confused.

Grocery store flowers for mom! I am grinning at the sweetness.

I had grilled corn and pinto bean salsa with baked corn tortilla chips for lunch. It was like nachos without the cheese...yeah, it wasn't like nachos at all.
Sep. 24th, 2012 07:07 pm (UTC)
No! It wasn't my yard! So the side by side comparison they got via email should have them scrambling to figure out where the "offending garden" is.

The flowers really are so sweet. He's a good kid deep down. :)

Hahahaha - it sounds delicious, but yeah. Not nachos.
Sep. 24th, 2012 07:04 pm (UTC)
Hahha, the idea of your garden being overrun with weeds is actually kind of remarkable. Before I got to the later bits of this post I was like, wait, WHAT HAS HAPPENED, WHY IS THE WORLD ASKEW?!

Awww, flowers. That is love and adorable.

I had guacamole on my sandwich at lunch. It was DELICIOUS, you should do the same.
Sep. 24th, 2012 08:19 pm (UTC)
THE WORLD IS IN ITS PROPER ORBIT, SWM. And I have new coffee beans, so THAT is back as it should be, as well!

I had a microwave meal for my lunch, and it was very unsatisfactory. (I mean, as far as they go it was fine. I just wanted, like, the Elvis Chicken from Chuys or something.) I am rectifying this by baking up a chocolate chip cookie for myself. :D *pats belly*
Sep. 24th, 2012 08:23 pm (UTC)

A microwave meal is NEVER a satisfactory alternative! It's like, pure fuel for the body that you just endure. YOU DESERVE MORE, STONEY! You deserve deliciousness!

Thank goodness for chocolate chip cooookies. I have a piece of chocolate cake waiting for me at home. It is calling my name.
Sep. 24th, 2012 07:45 pm (UTC)
Ok, I admit it. That letter was meant for me. MY GARDEN NEEDS YOUR HELP.

That's so cool about your doppelgänger! Maybe he can fix my garden?</p>

AWWWW to the boy bringing you flowers. He is so adorable. <3

Sep. 24th, 2012 08:20 pm (UTC)
HAHAHAHA. I am armpit deep in my own garden reno, so I am NO HELP TO YOU. I'll see if New!Laura can get up there. He has awesome arm muscles. :D
Sep. 24th, 2012 08:33 pm (UTC)
I actually have some Master Gardener questions for you. I've been told I should consider doing that. Why did you choose to do it, and do you love it?

Sep. 24th, 2012 08:43 pm (UTC)
I've always loved botany and this was a way to get specific training beyond academic knowledge. Nothing like a year long lab! I absolutely love that I went through the training. I LOVED working at the Extension Agency and helping people learn to enjoy their gardens as well. (And volunteering at schools is always fun, too.)
Sep. 24th, 2012 08:56 pm (UTC)
Ok that makes sense. I love botany as well. I figured you like that aspect of it, too.
Up here Uconn runs it, and it appears they have additional classes after you certify. Have you taken more classes?
Also it looks like they have a certain amount of volunteer hours, do you have that too?
Thank you for sharing your brain goo. You are the only Master Gardener I know!

Sep. 24th, 2012 09:02 pm (UTC)
My arch-nemesis college runs it here in Texas (A&M) but it's a fantastic program. They've changed it some since I was in class, but it was pretty damn rigorous. To maintain membership in the MG society you have to have 12 hours of education every year, in addition to 40 volunteer hours.

I'm not an active member of the society currently, because I moved out of the county and driving for an hour to go to a class on tomatoes was a bit much. ;) I do a lot of online reading and of course, loads of hands-on training in my garden (and any neighbor that collars me on a good day.)
Sep. 24th, 2012 10:46 pm (UTC)
Ok that seems reasonable then. This part filled me with nerdy excitement "Tree/Shrub/Vine identification project must be completed by the end of August"


Sep. 24th, 2012 10:38 pm (UTC)
Hoa sounds like a euphemism for vagina. You should definitely stapled the weed to the letter and mailed it back with 'Unacceptable that, bitch', written in your own blood and feces. Sometimes us ladies need to take a stand.

Ring up Gay doppelganger and go to the fab restaurant with the fab drinks and food that I will always remember fondly! If he's truly your doppelganger he will be peckish now as well. And if not then he lied to you and you should stab him in the neck. We're ladies, it's what we do.
Sep. 25th, 2012 12:10 pm (UTC)
You think everything is a euphemisms for vagina. "Pay your rent," "what do you think about a promotion?" "Have you been a good little girl this year?"

The letter in blood and feces is a great idea. Sounds like something my mother would do!
Catherine Mitchell
Sep. 25th, 2012 01:54 am (UTC)
Ahh! If you ever have the time (or obviously, you want to, b/c you know, you do what you want ;) ), you should totally do another picdump of your garden so I can drool and pine for the days when I don't have only a tiny balcony to grow things on!!! :)

Yay for new Best Friends! I just rekindled an old one and am all excited about it again. :)

Oh how I miss New Mexico and their nachos and gauc that actually has flavor and isn't a nasty greasy mess. Indiana, make some good Mexican food!!! Or, maybe I should learn to just make my own.

Also, i feel ya on the getting trim again. grrr, inspired by you I got p90x and it's kicking my ass. I have to admit I keep failing and stopping and then starting back up again. How did you ever make it through!?
Sep. 25th, 2012 01:07 pm (UTC)
I'm reconfiguring three big flower beds this fall, so once they're all cleaned out and sorted, that's just what I'll do!

P90X is FUN! Tell yourself that, and feel proud when you get through even half of a workout, because even HALF is hard as shit. Don't get down on yourself in the beginning - you're not going to be able to do everything like Tony/the others. BUT YOU WILL BY THE END. I promise!

(And I've picked it back up after a lazy summer, so today is my Plyo day!) <3
Catherine Mitchell
Sep. 26th, 2012 12:40 pm (UTC)
I've been able to keep consistent with doing the ab ripper x every week. It hurts so good every time, but because it's short, I'm able to rationalize doing it every time easier. lol but I'll get back into today! I must! one of my students actually said, "Catherine you look pregnant! Are you!?" Yesterday and I was like, "bitch, please, my pouch is NOT that big yet" in my head. Oh these kids have no filter. lol.

You know, i think it was only being able to do half that was making me get down on myself, because I couldn't finish the hour/hour and a half ones. K I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it!
Sep. 27th, 2012 01:43 pm (UTC)
Ever since a certain epic fic, "straggly bouquets of flowers" have gained a whole new level of depth! *ahem* [that aside, what a terribly sweet gesture. yay, Son of Stoney!].

Are there pics of your garden here on your LJ? Is THAT a bit of your garden [the pic with the post]? I looooove gardens, but alas..I do not have green fingers. AT ALL. Also, all my sun/heat/bug allergies make me a poor gardener. If you ever want a Gardening Challenge in an equatorial climate, please, buzz me. I'll offer up my parents' garden. They spend their time bickering over what should go where, it's all very haphazard!

Cheers to your new FB bff! Haha Delightful!

Happy Thursday!
Sep. 27th, 2012 02:53 pm (UTC)
<3 to you!
Hee, and dontcha know that I emailed FM and said, "Guess who got a Near Misses bouquet and had a similar Kurt reaction?" :D

My icon is not my garden, just a lovely picture. But! I have LOADS of pics of my garden. (Gardening tag + picspam! tag.)

Here are some links to save you searching, if you'd like.
1. ripping up side of house, stone walkways (have since been widened/prettified)
2. earlier pics of front beds/stone walkway has since been improved and will be completely overhauled this fall. :D (I'm crazy. I know.)
3. roses!
4. more roses and bluebonnets
5. lilies, food garden, natives, and the pool
6. and lastly, a garden tour of my old cat's favorite haunts in the garden (she spoke with a French accent that quickly morphed into Romanian. ;D
Sep. 28th, 2012 03:04 pm (UTC)
HA HA HA! X-D Sure sounds like you found a new friend indeed... Seems like he was a blast to talk to!
( 38 comments — Leave a comment )


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Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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