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Emily wised up this year, and I am very sad about her smarts. Normally the kids have to give me their candy bags "for inspection." That is when I loot my children blind. I mean, when I remove all of the Almond Joys, York Peppermint Patties, and possibly Reese's Peanut Butter Cups (but only the smooshed ones. I'm not a monster.)

She flat out refused last night. She gave me a dirty look and said to her father, "I know Mom's trick and she's not getting any of my stuff this time."

I
WHAT
WHO SAID YOU
THIS IS UNCONSCIONABLE

I am sour facing all over the place, even if my waist line is not unhappy about this. (I still have booze, after all.)

ION, the little boys down the street that The Boy normally babysits for went trick or treating for him, since he couldn't go. :) I sent their parents a text telling them how awesome I think they are.

(And of course, I'll have them deliver it before The Boy comes home so I can relieve the bag of those pesky Almond Joys. MUAH AH AH.) Okay, so I am a monster. A MONSTER WITH DELICIOUS TREATS.

Comments

( 20 comments — Leave a comment )
pluckygirl
Nov. 1st, 2012 04:05 pm (UTC)
Candy tax
Every kid that Trick or Treats has to pay them.
stoney321
Nov. 1st, 2012 04:10 pm (UTC)
Re: Candy tax
You are now my official internet legal team/accountancy group.
Plus, you get an automatic bonus for having a Jack Handy icon.

(Sure, that's all they'll eat if it's all you're giving them! Man, wise up!)
lynnenne
Nov. 1st, 2012 04:45 pm (UTC)
Halloween is the time for monsters. YOU CAN'T BE GOOD EVERY DAY OF THE YEAR. Even Santa says so!
stoney321
Nov. 1st, 2012 05:25 pm (UTC)
I SUPPORT THIS CANDIDATE! *votes for your face*
oatmellow
Nov. 1st, 2012 04:47 pm (UTC)
The Mom Tax. We collect our taxes to soften the blow of the upcoming dental bills. (which I almost typed Beeeels) If you don't collect the Mom Tax...well, you are a disappointment to all Collectors everywhere. It is your duty.
stoney321
Nov. 1st, 2012 05:25 pm (UTC)
YES. (Our dentist lets us "turn in" candy for toothbrushes. Just like every kid dreams of!)
flaming_muse
Nov. 1st, 2012 05:03 pm (UTC)
Wait. We get to go through our kids' candy and take things?

WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME THIS BEFORE?

(This actually is a bit of a shock to me, though. LOL My parents never did it.)

Aww for the little boys down the street! <3
stoney321
Nov. 1st, 2012 05:27 pm (UTC)
SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU'RE HONEST? You miss out on Mars bars, that's what.

This is what parents do when they're "checking your candy" to make sure it's safe. Yours just might have been to clever by half, Miss Muse....

(Seriously, how sweet was that of them?)
flaming_muse
Nov. 1st, 2012 05:32 pm (UTC)
Nope; they actually checked my candy with me there. I would have seen them take any.

Although I am nice enough that I did offer them at least a piece or two. :)

(I expect I will follow in their footsteps. I'm more likely to make the museling donate his candy at the fire station than take it for myself. :D But I wouldn't infringe on your own rights of candy-stealing.)
mpoetess
Nov. 1st, 2012 05:09 pm (UTC)
The boys down the street are awesome.

Aaaaand frankly I'm all for adults receiving their own damn candy, if they come with the kids and they bother to dress up. (This is a digression from the candy-inspection scamola.) I don't care how old you are when you hit my porch, if you're in costume, you deserve candy.

(And if you're not in costume and you're not under 10, you deserve me holding up a No Solicitors sign. But as long as you hold out a bag you get candy anyway, because I'm both too nice and too socially awkward to express that to people's faces.)
stoney321
Nov. 1st, 2012 05:28 pm (UTC)
They really are terrific kids.

I LIKE THE CUT OF YOUR JIB. AND COAT. AND OTHER THINGS THAT CAN BE CUT. Like the line at your front door so I can have more delicious treats.
ryokomusouka
Nov. 1st, 2012 06:04 pm (UTC)
I like you too. My daughter said she got dirty looks for going with her brother (she's only 16 and WAS dressed up).

Too bad I live in a development that's hard for kids to get to so we don't get T-or-Ters. :(
amyryd
Nov. 1st, 2012 05:16 pm (UTC)
What's that? I hear your candidacy for "Mom of the Year" is a lock!!

Happy Halloween!
stoney321
Nov. 1st, 2012 05:28 pm (UTC)
SWEET!! *lords about the place, smug*

LOL! Thank YOU! And may your Dia de los Muertos be magnifico! <3
ryokomusouka
Nov. 1st, 2012 06:02 pm (UTC)
I simply hold out my hand and say, "Mom tax."

But then, I can go to Target the day after and get candy for half-off.
dovil
Nov. 1st, 2012 07:40 pm (UTC)
I think you need to stick a razor blade in there so you can tilt your head and sadly say, 'See darling, I told you so, now hand over your sweets so Mommy can protect you.' And then after an hour hand a couple of sweets back with chocolate smeared over your face and a glint in your eye (where shiny wrapping paper got stuck in it during the feeding frenzy).

Almond joys are the best. I completely understand and sanction your actions.
Catherine Mitchell
Nov. 1st, 2012 10:29 pm (UTC)
That is a BRILLIANT Idea and I'm tots stealing it when I have kids! Luckily my parents never pulled it on us, but we also weren't allowed to trick or treat after middle school. (LAME!) So one year my sis and best friend and I said we had a scout meeting (we were actually in scouts, lol)and went trick or treating anyway. haha!

That is SO sweet of your neighbors.

Also, I was just telling my co-worker about your amazing Dr. who angel costume. He was super impressed and I found out he's a whovian too!? win/win!
Christina Morrison
Nov. 3rd, 2012 01:01 am (UTC)
So far I have eaten 6 mini twix, 5 mini kitkats, 1 snickers and 1 almond joy. All frozen. They were delicious.
stoney321
Nov. 3rd, 2012 01:50 am (UTC)
I APPROVE OF THIS. I have been BANNED from Halloween bags. INNJUSTICE! ATTICA!
swmbo
Nov. 3rd, 2012 02:38 pm (UTC)
BEST KIND OF MONSTER!
( 20 comments — Leave a comment )

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Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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