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First off, good for you. Therapy is awesome. Everyone should have access! Let's get to some helpful tips.

When filling out paperwork in a small 10 x 10 waiting room, you should NOT ask the personal questions from the three page questionnaire out loud and wait for your teenage son to give you a yes or no answer. I get it, you think teens are idiots. Sure, they can be. They take risks, yadda. Guess what they also are? Capable of answering personal questions for themselves. Questions like: have you had issues wetting yourself. Have you been physically assaulted? Do you feel safe in your home?

You should not be asking those out loud and then demand answers. I think you're trying to give off the impression that you're a good, attentive mother? You're not. At all. If your child is a teenager, they are PERFECTLY CAPABLE of answering those themselves. Privately. They deserve the freaking privacy, FFS.

When waiting for your appointment, you shouldn't talk at the top of your lungs. Especially not when it's about why YOU believe your son "needs this," and especially when you say it in a derisive tone, because you think therapy is for bad kids. AND ESPECIALLY WHEN MY CHILD IS RIGHT THERE, TOO. Blame is a bad thing. Well, you'll find out soon enough.

When the therapist asks your child to come in first, that's because of safety reasons. And you need to STFU and not barge in demanding to be "a part of the process." I just... respect their authority. Period.

When the therapist kindly and sternly locks you out of the room, the people remaining in the room [me] are not your allies. I like our therapist. She's awesome. Her partner is also awesome. They're helpful. Berating them to me isn't winning you any points.

When waiting in a therapists office for teenagers (many of whom have eating disorders, shame issues, etc.) REFRAIN FROM FAT SHAMING PEOPLE in the waiting room magazines. Honestly, you shouldn't do that ever. Because fuck you, that's why. And when I tell you in no uncertain terms that fat shaming Kim Kardashian who happens to be pregnant is wrong, your shocked response isn't getting through to me. At all.

[And you made me defend Kim freaking Kardashian. I-- Gah.]

Basically I think I have a good reason why your shell-shocked kid was there. And I am not even sorry that I smiled when the therapist told you with a grim face to come inside and just listen. That might be a first for you.

In conclusion, you're a terrible human being and your husband was an ass for getting onto your 6 year old who was bored with nothing to do in the waiting room. JFC. Bring a damn book and look at the pages next time.

Comments

( 36 comments — Leave a comment )
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cindergal
Apr. 3rd, 2013 11:38 pm (UTC)
Those poor kids. Gah.
stoney321
Apr. 3rd, 2013 11:41 pm (UTC)
It was all I could do to not roll up a mack truck magazine and crush her body bop her on the head.
fabrisse
Apr. 3rd, 2013 11:45 pm (UTC)
I love you for defending Kim Kardashian in those circumstances.

And even more for trying to make this experience better for your kid. It's a pity you can't also make it a better experience for her kid, too.
stoney321
Apr. 4th, 2013 12:07 am (UTC)
I mean, I'm no Kim Kardashian fan. But the woman doesn't need to be mocked for her curvaceous body, FFS. ESPECIALLY when she's pregnant.

(There's a part of me that wants to steal all the babies. And then I remember I have enough. Ha.)
bdbdb
Apr. 3rd, 2013 11:52 pm (UTC)
This is one of the very many reasons I think you're awesome.
stoney321
Apr. 4th, 2013 12:07 am (UTC)
Aww, I think you are too, Miss J. <3
... - bdbdb - Apr. 4th, 2013 12:15 am (UTC) - Expand
maplelump
Apr. 4th, 2013 12:00 am (UTC)
I hate it when parents do that. I'll admit, that when I had my pre-op appointment, I handed my mom the paperwork because she has been basically my case manager for 8 years, and knows my medicine better than I do.

Plus, I wanted to read my novel.

What is okay: her asking me in a deadpan tone: "what do you do to manage pain?" Me (pretending to be contemplative): "ice, curl up into fetal position and full on denial of the pain's existence."
Her: *writes down exactly what I just said with a wry smile on her face*

What is not okay: everything you described.

Question: in your neck of the woods, are they doing the paperless thing for patients? After my operation 2.5 weeks ago, every time the nurse came in, she had this cool bar scanner thingy, scanned my wristband and it brought up all my records on the monitor in my room. Saved her a lot of pain from carrying so much stuff.

IDK, I thought it was cool. /random
stoney321
Apr. 4th, 2013 12:10 am (UTC)
No no no, you handing paperwork over because she knows your medical history is not a thing to feel bad about AT ALL. You two were obviously okay with that, you know? <3 This was...bossy and controlling and shaming and UGH.

And your relationship with your mom sounds awesome and hilarious. THUMBS UP FROM ME.

Every doctor I have (and my kids, too) are paperless. This therapist's office just happens to still be outdated in that department. Don't you love that new technology?! I'm a HUGE fan.
... - maplelump - Apr. 4th, 2013 02:38 am (UTC) - Expand
agent_squeaks
Apr. 4th, 2013 12:15 am (UTC)
You are an awesome mother.

That other one? Not so much.

[be my mother too? :p]
stoney321
Apr. 4th, 2013 12:38 am (UTC)
Eh, I'm all right. But I'm better than that hoss, that's for sure. UGH. Just awful and uncomfortable all around. =/
kita0610
Apr. 4th, 2013 12:43 am (UTC)
Sigh. This reminds me SO MUCH why I do not miss working in family mental health. To sum up my five years of experience:

WHY IS MY KID SUCH A BRAT??

IDK, maybe because YOU ARE AN ABUSIVE ALCOHOLIC ASSHOLE??


Gah.
stoney321
Apr. 4th, 2013 12:57 am (UTC)
These struck me as the "we go to church and follow all the rules and will BREAK YOUR NECK if you don't do the same [smile]" types.

NO ME GUSTA.
... - kita0610 - Apr. 4th, 2013 01:46 am (UTC) - Expand
entrenous88
Apr. 4th, 2013 01:41 am (UTC)
Cripes. That family. D:

*crosses fingers and toes those kids get good allies in addition to their awesome therapist to help them through this bullshit*
bintblue
Apr. 4th, 2013 01:57 am (UTC)
Ugh ugh ugh. Poor kid(s).

Thanks for standing up to the body shaming. I hope the therapy helps the teen.
eac
Apr. 4th, 2013 02:36 am (UTC)
Honestly, I've always thought the thing to do in therapist waiting rooms is smile politely and say nothing beyond "excuse me" when you need to lean near someone to get a magazine to hide behind. Is it me?
eac
Apr. 4th, 2013 02:38 am (UTC)
Also, belatedly, I love you for knocking this woman down on the fat shaming, and for your righteous indignation on behalf of this poor kid.
lissysadmin
Apr. 4th, 2013 02:36 am (UTC)
<3
enigmaticblues
Apr. 4th, 2013 02:37 am (UTC)
I have my masters in counseling. I worked with some adolescents. Generally speaking, I found their parents much harder to deal with. (Obviously, this does not apply to you, but I'm just saying that I feel your pain. Also, yay for awesome therapists!)
tinkerbell86ca
Apr. 4th, 2013 03:23 am (UTC)
Just . . . GO YOU! Thank you for being a wonderful mommy to your glorious children!

*thumbs up*
lynnenne
Apr. 4th, 2013 03:54 am (UTC)
This has nothing to do with you, Simpson. I have many, many issues with my beloved smother.


Some people should not be allowed to breed.
beadattitude
Apr. 4th, 2013 04:41 am (UTC)
I hope that therapist kicked her ass.

Not that I'm sure she as the self-awareness to get it.
flaming_muse
Apr. 4th, 2013 08:19 am (UTC)
I love you!
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( 36 comments — Leave a comment )

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Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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