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Many of you probably know ruthless1 for her sense of humor, unending support in times of need, and her support of her friends' fannish endeavors.

Many of you may not know that for the past year she has quietly been dying of stomach cancer. She is now at her end, surrounded by friends and hospice care-givers who are making sure that she leaves this earth in as much comfort as possible. When she realized her chemo/radiation wasn't working, she said "fuck it" and decided to do the things in life that she's always wanted to do. She went on a whale watching trip, she traveled to see friends one last time, she sat on a warm beach and enjoyed the simple pleasures of the earth, she surrounded herself with love and support.

She's been a lovely friend to me over the years, and this past year, while both of our lives were falling apart for different reasons, she still would go out of her way to send me a funny story, pictures of her baby goats (I dare you to be unhappy in the face of a herd of mini-goats), or just words of love.

I wish I could have traveled to Colorado before this...end. Mostly I'm grateful to have had the friendship that we do, and I'm happy to see how many people are showering her with love and stories in these last hours. If you would like to contribute to the wall of love being delivered to her, please go here and do so. She's having messages read to her, and I can only imagine how much it means to her to have so many people pour out love to her. (There is also a way to donate to that organization and help other people connect to support.)

While I'm incredibly sad to know she's leaving, I'm so grateful to be counted as one of friends. Ruth, you are loved.

Comments

( 31 comments — Leave a comment )
bdbdb
Apr. 28th, 2013 05:40 pm (UTC)
<3

We didn't communicate often but she was always just lovely when we did. Ruth is in my thoughts today. Thank you for keeping us in the loop.
stoney321
Apr. 28th, 2013 10:12 pm (UTC)
Absolutely. If it were me, I'd want my LJ family to know, too. <3
nwhepcat
Apr. 28th, 2013 06:44 pm (UTC)
Sent my good wishes to her--I had missed that she was ill at all, much less this ill. I'm glad she decided to make her time count. Thank you for posting so I didn't find out too late to do something.
stoney321
Apr. 28th, 2013 10:13 pm (UTC)
<3 She's no longer responsive, but she was able to hear the messages you guys have sent her today, and I just can't be more grateful than I feel now, knowing that she had some of us old time fandom people sending her love in the end.
nwhepcat
Apr. 29th, 2013 03:46 am (UTC)
It sounds like she has a great amount of love surrounding her, which I am glad to know.

Just sent you a message via LJ, by the way.
stoney321
Apr. 30th, 2013 06:32 pm (UTC)
<3 (And have replied, too!)

XOXOX
kita0610
Apr. 28th, 2013 07:12 pm (UTC)
Same as Hepcat. We fell out of touch a few years back, and I had no idea she was ill. Thank you for letting me know so I can send her a message of love now.

stoney321
Apr. 28th, 2013 10:14 pm (UTC)
She hadn't told anyone, and I was sort of sworn to keep it to myself, but this is the time for her to have all the sweet messages she can get. And she heard yours today. That makes me very happy for her, I have to say.

<3
kita0610
Apr. 28th, 2013 10:15 pm (UTC)
I hope she did. It sounds as if she's in her last stages.
eac
Apr. 28th, 2013 07:20 pm (UTC)
I do not know Ruth, but I am sorry to hear that your friend is in the process of leaving. :( Best wishes to all of you who DO know her.
stoney321
Apr. 28th, 2013 10:15 pm (UTC)
Oh, you're such a sweet heart. It's a weird day for me - I have known how bad her condition has been for months, so I'm glad her body will finally know peace. I'm just sad to lose her. *hugs*
lynnenne
Apr. 28th, 2013 07:29 pm (UTC)
I had no idea she was ill. Thank you for letting me know so that I could leave her a message. I didn't know her well, but I am grateful that she has been such a wonderful friend to you. <3
stoney321
Apr. 28th, 2013 10:16 pm (UTC)
I don't know if you saw that she's no longer responsive, BUT. She heard your message, and I'm sure it made her happy to know that you cared enough to send her some love. I think we all would want that much in the end, you know? <3
flaming_muse
Apr. 28th, 2013 08:25 pm (UTC)
What a lovely post. *hugs all around*
stoney321
Apr. 28th, 2013 10:17 pm (UTC)
She's a lovely woman! (Aww, all of her madrigal/musician friends showed up at the hospital to play her out, and there I go crying again.)
femmenerd
Apr. 28th, 2013 09:11 pm (UTC)
This is very sad, but I'm glad to have read this post - to hear about the beautiful parts of this friendship/person I didn't get the chance to know.
stoney321
Apr. 28th, 2013 10:19 pm (UTC)
I wish I could have cloned her - she's such a fun person who just really loves life and all the joys it can bring. Great, great lady.
mangofandango
Apr. 28th, 2013 10:48 pm (UTC)
I don't know her, but recognize her name. Thinking of her, and of you. How very sad. <3
stoney321
Apr. 29th, 2013 05:56 pm (UTC)
It is so sad to lose such a fine person, but boy, is she setting the bar for how to live and how to end your life with gusto. <3
romanyg
Apr. 28th, 2013 10:50 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much for your post, for letting everyone know and allowing them to say goodbye to her. Ruth is such an amazing person.
stoney321
Apr. 29th, 2013 05:56 pm (UTC)
She really, really is. I'm so glad she heard from so many people before she lost consciousness. That we all could hear from so many loved ones, you know? <3
ladycyndra
Apr. 29th, 2013 12:34 am (UTC)
I'm so sorry, Stoney. Sending her and her family my sympathies. Hugs for you too.
stoney321
Apr. 29th, 2013 05:56 pm (UTC)
Aw, thank you for the hugs. <3
entrenous88
Apr. 29th, 2013 12:35 am (UTC)
*hugs*

I'm so glad people were able to have their loving messages delivered to her.
stoney321
Apr. 29th, 2013 05:57 pm (UTC)
I mean, you just couldn't ask for more, you know? She's such a lovely woman.
midnightsjane
Apr. 29th, 2013 05:30 am (UTC)
I don't know her, but I'm so sorry. Please know that I'm keeping her, and you, in my thoughts.
stoney321
Apr. 29th, 2013 05:57 pm (UTC)
Aww, thank you for that. Hugs right back at you. <3
janedavitt
Apr. 30th, 2013 02:17 pm (UTC)
Crying here. I missed this post and just went to add a message and saw that I was too late. Just seeing her icon always made me smile. Such a lovely, warm lady who will leave a huge gap.
stoney321
Apr. 30th, 2013 06:33 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry you didn't get a chance to add to her wall of love, but she definitely went out surrounded by love and music and friends. It's as good as anyone could ask for.

She was such a sweet woman. *hugs you tight*
kseenaa
Apr. 30th, 2013 08:25 pm (UTC)
Saw I was to late to leave a message... :-/ That is very sad. She must have been one hell of a woman.
desert_sdwndr
May. 4th, 2013 06:01 pm (UTC)
Didn't know her, but from the messages here and on her care bridge wall, she sounds an amazing person and I'm glad she moved forward surrounded by love. I'm sorry I saw this too late to leave a message on her wall, but the impression I get from other people is that she's still watching over her friends and enjoying every single moment; I can't think of a better way to live than to pass forward happily and leave a legacy of love and caring.
( 31 comments — Leave a comment )

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