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I'm trying to post more, too

Hey - THANK YOU VERY MUCH for all of the comments y'all have been leaving me. I'm pretty overwhelmed at the moment (no, you don't say!) but I WILL respond to everyone. Thank you, thank you.

I leave you with a story that made me happy yesterday. I'm at Target getting sundries for the kids (because school starts on Monday oh my gosh HOORAY school school schoooooooool!) and as I'm leaving and putting my cart up, I hear a mom down on her knees talking quietly to her son, probably kindergarten age. Essentially he was misbehaving and she was quietly explaining why he shouldn't do that in a store, and if he continued to choose that behavior, they would leave and he wouldn't get whatever they were in the store for. So would he behave? I saw him rub his eyes, sniffle, and nod and say, "Yes, mama."

I whispered to her as I walked past, "Stellar mom-work right there."

She looked at me sadly and said, "Really? Because I don't feel like it was."

I didn't want to be more intrusive, so I just said, "No, you are doing an amazing job seeing that your small child listened to you. Couldn't ask for more, especially not at that age." I bid her a good day and saw her smile as I went through the big doors.

I WANTED to hug her and buy her a coffee/whatever she liked because she was clearly frazzled, but you'd never know it from how calmly she spoke and how firm yet loving she was to her kid. WHOEVER YOU ARE, MOM AT TARGET, I SALUTE YOU.

<3

Comments

( 31 comments — Leave a comment )
flaming_muse
Aug. 23rd, 2013 12:11 am (UTC)
SCHOOL STARTS ON MONDAY OMG!!! You must be SO EXCITED! :D

You are just the SWEETEST. I bet you made that woman's whole WEEK.
stoney321
Aug. 23rd, 2013 12:24 am (UTC)
I AM VERY EXCITED. AND NERVOUS. AND EXCITED.

I think about my last post where people said such nice things and how good that made me feel. That's the stuff you pass on, right? <3
altyronsmaker
Aug. 23rd, 2013 12:42 am (UTC)
That's a terrific story. And good on you to take the time and energy - even though dealing with your own life has you feeling wrung out - to give someone else a pat on the back. You rock!

Now. If only THAT mother had been the one behind me at Walgreen's the other day. I can't even... to paraphrase Parenthood: You have to have a license to drive a car, even to catch a fish. But they'll let any butt-reaming asshole be a parent.

BTDubs, that woman will FOREVER remember you telling her that. Just, FYI. For. EVER. and that is awesome. :)
stoney321
Aug. 23rd, 2013 12:53 am (UTC)
laws, the number of times I've wanted to step in and snatch a child away... My husband even has a signal for me when he senses I'm about to go bananas, lol.

I JUST WANT KIDS SAFE. AND I WANT GOOD MOMS TO FEEL GOOD. <3 <3 <3
kita0610
Aug. 23rd, 2013 12:59 am (UTC)
Every single mother of a toddler needs to hear that from someone when they least expect it. It's all the ones who think they are fucking up that are actually the best damn parents. Parents who are true fuck ups don't give a damn about it.

You probably made her whole damn month.

ION, HI L HI. <3333
stoney321
Aug. 23rd, 2013 01:15 am (UTC)
"It's all the ones who think they are fucking up that are actually the best damn parents"

EXACTLY. A good/great parent is going to think they're not doing enough, where a shitty parent is like, "Yep! Mission accomplished" when their kid is still breathing at the end of the day.

HI D HI!! I am drinking lovely red wine and eating popcorn, because I'm a grown ass woman and I can do what I want! AND I WANT WINE AND 'CORN.
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bintblue
Aug. 23rd, 2013 02:09 am (UTC)
LOVE!

Thanks for taking the time to give her a pat on the back. *sniffle*
stoney321
Aug. 23rd, 2013 02:20 am (UTC)
Sometimes people just need to hear they're doing right, you know? <3 <3
midnightsjane
Aug. 23rd, 2013 03:55 am (UTC)
A word of praise from a stranger can be that little treasure you remember forever.
Good for you being that stranger for that mom.
stoney321
Aug. 23rd, 2013 01:49 pm (UTC)
I can attest to your statement as being fact! <3 <3 <3
ladycyndra
Aug. 23rd, 2013 07:46 am (UTC)
That was really awesome and sweet of you. I'm sure you made her day. =)
stoney321
Aug. 23rd, 2013 01:49 pm (UTC)
She's the one who did all the work! And people like to have their good work noted. :D
mobile_alh
Aug. 23rd, 2013 05:01 pm (UTC)
Aww...you made me well up just at your description of how she was talking gently to her boy and the end of the story brought on full-fledged tears of joy and sympathy.

Thanks for sharing this, with us and with her.
stoney321
Aug. 24th, 2013 01:37 pm (UTC)
She was seriously one of those inspirational moms in that moment. <3
fishsanwitt
Aug. 23rd, 2013 06:07 pm (UTC)
Sometimes a kind or encouraging word from a stranger can mean the world because they have no axe to grind and nothing to gain or lose. I love that you did that :)
stoney321
Aug. 24th, 2013 01:38 pm (UTC)
She was the real role model right there, let me tell you. Calm under pressure? That's a great reminder for me!
fiveandfour
Aug. 23rd, 2013 07:27 pm (UTC)
I was on the receiving end of a similar compliment (for a similar situation) and I still think of it 15 years later. I'm sure that mom is going to do the same.

Yay for the return of school! It was always my favorite time of year as a student (new clothes! new pencils and paper and pee chees! catching up with friends!). Funny how it still is as a parent of a student :-).
stoney321
Aug. 24th, 2013 01:39 pm (UTC)
People have said nice things to me in this space before, and that's meant a lot to me - hearing that in person would sure help shoulders drop, is my way of thinking. Especially when you're feeling frazzled and thin like she was (though you'd never know it from how well she handled things!).
beadattitude
Aug. 23rd, 2013 09:41 pm (UTC)
My sister used that method of scolding and I was always impressed. And good on you for a little support from the sidelines. Ya never know when it'll mean the world to someone. ::hugs::
stoney321
Aug. 24th, 2013 01:40 pm (UTC)
My grandma did, too, and it's the most difficult thing to do - the instinct is to get louder when you're angry. (I know I'm guilty of that ALL THE TIME.)
kseenaa
Aug. 23rd, 2013 11:00 pm (UTC)
I really hope I'll be such an awesome mom one day...

For the record my kid starts daycare in just weeks away. o.O 1 year old. Where did that year go?!?!
stoney321
Aug. 24th, 2013 01:40 pm (UTC)
Awww, one year old! That's such a great age! I've been aching to be around babies, and that's the best age for lap bouncing and babble. <3 <3
julia_here
Aug. 24th, 2013 01:41 am (UTC)
I, too, thank parents whose kids are doing socially good things (especially in Trader Joe's on Saturday afternoons, OMG) or who are disciplining wisely and with an eye to the long game.

And I smile at kids who are:

1. 2 1/2 or younger, no matter what they're doing, because they need to learn humans are not scarey

2. Are dancing to the muzak while keeping up with their parents and not blocking the aisles, because they give me joy.

3. Are reading labels, putting the food their parents point to (or older kids with shopping lists, yay for them!) or otherwise behaving like budding independant humans, because they give me hope.

4. Who smile at me, without regard to what else they're doing.

Julia, and I smile at adults who are speed-shopping with wailing infants at 6:30 on Friday, because I know they don't have a choice but to be there, and everyone is hungry and tired and wants to be home.

midnightsjane
Aug. 24th, 2013 02:49 am (UTC)
I smile at kids who do these things too. It gives me hope for the future of the species.
I was in Safeway one day when I ran into a woman I work with. She had her two children in tow (ages about 6 and 8), and introduced them to me. I was blown away when they both shook my hand and said "how do you do?"..politest kids I've ever met. Says something about the parents, I think.
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( 31 comments — Leave a comment )

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Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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