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funny story for you

ROFLMFAO
I owe comments to a few of you, and I'll get to them today (and I'm happy to do so!) but I wanted to tell this story about my asshole Mormon uncle who was visiting in town this past week. My son stayed with my folks to visit with them (read: to get out of my hair) and they don't know he's gay. Or they do but they're acting like it's a common cold that he'll eventually get over. WHATEVER.

At one point in forcing him to watch Real News (FOX, and pardon me while I crack up), a story about them HomuhSEXshuls came on. My uncle - short, squat, smug, balding, large-bellied - says to my son, "You know, I don't have a problem with The Gays. I just don't want them to be attracted to me."

My son's brilliant response: "Don't worry. We're not."

HAHAHA. And as the saying goes: homophobes are simply worried that men will treat THEM the way they've treated women. Yep, accurate in this case. He's so grossly chauvinistic.

ION, I have a new laptop, a bee-you-tee-ful Macbook Pro with Retina Display and I want to marry it and hold its hand and go skipping through forever with it. (I just wish I could have brought over my SolSuite game for better procrastination. SERIOUSLY, THAT IS THE BEST SOLITAIRE SOFTWARE KNOWN TO MAN. *sobs*)

Comments

( 22 comments — Leave a comment )
brunettepet
Feb. 28th, 2014 04:21 pm (UTC)
Hahahahahahaha! Your son is awesome!
stoney321
Feb. 28th, 2014 04:35 pm (UTC)
BEST. RESPONSE. EVER.

And of course my uncle is ex-military, so he's very "children should be seen and not heard" and "respect your elders" so when my father started laughing, he didn't know what to do. HAHAHAHA
brunettepet
Feb. 28th, 2014 04:45 pm (UTC)
...so when my father started laughing, he didn't know what to do. And the story gets even BETTER!
moonmelody
Feb. 28th, 2014 05:32 pm (UTC)
Virtual high fives to your son for that response!
stoney321
Feb. 28th, 2014 09:03 pm (UTC)
Ha, right? :D
ladycyndra
Feb. 28th, 2014 06:13 pm (UTC)
High five your son for me. XD
stoney321
Feb. 28th, 2014 09:03 pm (UTC)
WILL DO!
wesleysgirl
Feb. 28th, 2014 06:51 pm (UTC)
Ha ha ha ha, your son is so amazing!!!
stoney321
Feb. 28th, 2014 09:03 pm (UTC)
I was so proud of him. mostly for his comic timing, of course. :D
flaming_muse
Feb. 28th, 2014 07:12 pm (UTC)
NO PROCRASTINATION. MORE WORK!

*cracks the whip*
stoney321
Feb. 28th, 2014 09:04 pm (UTC)
THIS WAS A WHILE AGO I HAVE BEEN GOOD also A++ hilarious use of icon there
agent_squeaks
Feb. 28th, 2014 09:22 pm (UTC)
A+ response from your son! :D
kuzu_no_ha
Feb. 28th, 2014 09:23 pm (UTC)
Brilliant response! Well done!

a2zmom
Feb. 28th, 2014 10:36 pm (UTC)
Stoney, you son is made of win. I just want to smoosh him to pieces for that.
txvoodoo
Feb. 28th, 2014 10:43 pm (UTC)
Your son is awesome. :D AWESOME.
souljoy
Feb. 28th, 2014 11:55 pm (UTC)
That was so cool. Loved your son's response. Very cool.
zyrya
Mar. 1st, 2014 03:24 am (UTC)
The homophobes are all so sexy and irresistible, though - nothing sexier than fear and prejudice!

Yay for shiny new laptop!
bdbdb
Mar. 1st, 2014 04:47 am (UTC)
Your son is the best.

Congrats on the Macbook Pro. I was so unhappy when I was forced to switch from being a life-long PC person to having a mac. But then it was the next day and I realized how wrong I was and I've never looked back. ;)
minim_calibre
Mar. 1st, 2014 06:03 am (UTC)
PERFECTION!

You've raised him right.
lynnenne
Mar. 1st, 2014 03:31 pm (UTC)
BWAH. I love your boy. And you. <3
harmonyfb
Mar. 1st, 2014 07:11 pm (UTC)
. My uncle - short, squat, smug, balding, large-bellied - says to my son, "You know, I don't have a problem with The Gays. I just don't want them to be attracted to me."

My son's brilliant response: "Don't worry. We're not."


::high-fives your son::
chefreeni
Mar. 2nd, 2014 02:43 am (UTC)
The highest of fives. Not a problem indeed. And if there were any strays, just the info that he gets his news from Fox might be a killer.
Yay new shiny toy!
( 22 comments — Leave a comment )

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Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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