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GIP! Oh, and stuff

My daughter's shark obsession is bleeding into my life everywhere I turn. Hee hee!! Dear, god, the REAL LIFE SIZED pic of the Great White leaping out of the water is HORRIFYING. If I was on a boat watching that, my wetsuit would be filled with my feces, and I'd be swallowing my tongue. Good bye, world. Go to www.nationalgeograhic.com and search for "flying sharks" to see all the pics. Dear. Lord. ANd the three year old just giggles. "Look how hungry Bruce is, Mom!" Weirdo.

Got to have sushi with somecandytalkin today. Whee! She's the KEEYOOTEST thing evah, and she didn't mind that I am a blabber mouth. There was talk of writing in the RW, gardens, food, and porn. Good times.

In less than 24 hours, crazydiamondsue and elcazavampiros will be first time home owners and christening every room in their house. Hooray! Put some friggin' curtains up, already!

On a final note, studies are showing that laughter really IS the best medicine. It helps your blood vessels stay open and clog free. So for all of you not reading me and giving me feedback, you're only hurting yourself. Hee!

[ETA:] Some Candy is extra nice because she didn't comment on the huge blob of soy sauce on my BOOB I apparently had all afternoon. Niiiiice. Also: anyone on my flist know the site Checkmated? I'm looking for a fic...

Comments

( 35 comments — Leave a comment )
likeadeuce
Mar. 9th, 2005 04:52 pm (UTC)
sharks is kewl
hey, love!

I really don't have anything else to say.

just, "hey, sharks is kewl."

how you doing?
stoney321
Mar. 9th, 2005 05:12 pm (UTC)
sharks can't be kewl when they eat their own KIND, omg
Sharks are evil killing machines. And my three year old can identify them (and give their proper names) by their SNOUTS. She's scaring me.

I'm good, how YOU doon?
crayonbreakygal
Mar. 9th, 2005 04:52 pm (UTC)
The three year old thinks the flying shark is funny? Strange what those kiddies will like. Yikes.
stoney321
Mar. 9th, 2005 05:13 pm (UTC)
She is wrong. So very, very wrong. She has TEXT books on sharks, and can rattle off their names, where they live, etc. OBSESSED. And apparently not fearful, unlike her momma (and I do NOT swim in the ocean. *whimper*)
smashsc
Mar. 9th, 2005 05:01 pm (UTC)
Dude! Your icon is the best thing ever.

Love!
stoney321
Mar. 9th, 2005 05:15 pm (UTC)
BWAH! It makes me laugh very hard. I was incoherent for a few minutes after trying to explain it to my sister. And seriously: go to Nat'l Geographic and see all 12 pics of the flying sharks.

I would slit my wrist and swallow bleach if that friggin animal breached along side my boat. AHH!!!

And your icon is STILL funny. And the answer is YES, Elizabeth Rohm.
smashsc
Mar. 9th, 2005 05:21 pm (UTC)
I saw those pics. They were scary and beautiful in a way.

Where in the world did you find Free Willy caps?

"Is it because I'm a lesbian?" should be a quote popping up on icons all over. The more bizarre the pretty. That line will never stop being funny.
stoney321
Mar. 9th, 2005 05:40 pm (UTC)
<-- in case you weren't aware.
They are sooper scary, but I am in LOVE with the critters of this world. I am truly fascinated by all the organisms schlepping this pebble with me. But I got a healthy dose of respect(fear) for sharks: muscles and teeth.

(And don't forget I have kids: we have ALL the movies. Trying to find of oh, shiiii- pic was taking FOREVER.)
somecandytalkin
Mar. 9th, 2005 05:41 pm (UTC)
No, *you're* the KEYOOTEST thing ever, Miss Stoney. And to comment on teh soy sauce I would have to have been totally staring at your boobs, which I would never, *looks around furtively* never do. Ahem. They are cute, though.

And I kept up just fine on the blabbering, thank you very much!

Also? LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the Dovil Birthday Party Mix. Just listened to it for the second time. LOVE.
Am getting ready to listen to the Spangel. Can't wait!

stoney321
Mar. 9th, 2005 05:53 pm (UTC)
I felt so cute and breezy, go pick up Emily and look in the mirror. Derp.

I'm so glad you like the mix! Me, too. I was rocking yesterday while typing up the fics. Woo hoo! I think the SPangel CDs are the best mixes I've done. They are stored in my memories if you want to read why I picked certain songs. Some might seem out there until you see the why. Or maybe I'm just full of myself. Probably that one.
lynnenne
Mar. 9th, 2005 05:50 pm (UTC)
*licks soy sauce off your boobs*
stoney321
Mar. 9th, 2005 05:55 pm (UTC)
With eyes half-lidded, i discretly relax my legs and slide my skirt up juuuust a touch.

Then hand you chop sticks with an "I dare you" look.
lynnenne
Mar. 9th, 2005 06:01 pm (UTC)
I smirk up at you and take the chopsticks from your sensuous fingers. I hold them to your quivering quim, dripping with the scent of your she-juice. I lift my eyes to your hypnotic gaze and say:

"Stoney. Will you let me endorse your cervix?"
stoney321
Mar. 9th, 2005 06:05 pm (UTC)
As my audience waits for you to be seated, (again and again, might I add) I egress in swampy splendor all upon my real imitation leather chair.

Ahuhhhuhhuhuhhhuhhhuhuhahandhuhhhuh! I cry.

Damn, girl. You got your she-juice all over me like warm doughnut glazing, you simper.


lynnenne
Mar. 9th, 2005 06:19 pm (UTC)
I try to raise myself up so I can capture your lascivious lips in a slovenly kiss, but slip in the puddle of woman-wetness and break my girl bone.

"Oh, Stoney!" I cry. "My bum is all bruised!"

stoney321
Mar. 9th, 2005 06:29 pm (UTC)
By "girl bone," I assume you mean Pussy Bone.

I wet my lips in preparation for the dick sucking Olympics. When I figure out that you do not have a dick (which are beautiful, by the way) and I let a single tear come down my cheek, a perfect reminder of your cinamon-scented cum as it courses down your face, tongue searching like a bull-frog.

Coyly I ask you if you remembered that frat party when I passed out and woke up the next morning with an ocean between my legs?


God, GP, I had to go back and read the bad!fic posts again to remind myself of all the horror, er, sexiness. BWAH!!!
lynnenne
Mar. 9th, 2005 06:42 pm (UTC)
Pussy bone! How could I forget?

"The ocean came from my beautiful, non-existent dick," I reply. "Cinammon, cinammon everywhere, and not a stick to eat."

I am deeply shamed.

stoney321
Mar. 9th, 2005 06:51 pm (UTC)
Hey. Nothing to be ashamed of. WE did not create such lines as: let the insides of her meaty lips work his dick. Or "her pussy snapped at his dick like a pissed off aligator."

Wow. I have TEARS on my face. What a great bad!fic that was.

*cries for more, but my bad!fic writer just sucks in a boring way, not a craptacular way*
sdwolfpup
Mar. 9th, 2005 06:27 pm (UTC)
DOOD. I am terrified of sharks. I've had nightmares that look just like your LJ header (which I accidentally stumbled across and nearly gave myself a heart attack - hee). I saw 'Jaws' at a young age and was frightened/fascinated by sharks all through my life. Now it's merged more just into the fear thing, but I never missed Shark Week, I had lots and lots of books, I knew all kinds of facts and the likelihood of being attacked and blah blah blah. THEY'RE STILL SCARY.

Thanks for letting me share my pain. Hee!
stoney321
Mar. 9th, 2005 06:31 pm (UTC)
The whole reason why I am making my LJ more shark-centric (other than pleasing the kiddo, which it does) is to make myself lose my unnatural fear of them. I say unnatural because I do NOT swim in the ocean, so when will they get me? WHEN, SWP?? *cries*

I am TERRIFIED of them and their awesome power, yet I cannot look away...
violethamster
Mar. 9th, 2005 06:50 pm (UTC)
I love and fear your icon.

I don't view my fear of sharks as unnatural, because I only live one town away from the ocean, and the roads are all icy, so theoretically they could slide all the way here. Or swim up the sewers into my shower.
stoney321
Mar. 9th, 2005 07:08 pm (UTC)
Your hamsters look VERY afraid, as they should be. Land Sharks are notorious for eating them.

My husband is a cruel man. He is taking me to a resort on the ocean to make me become SHARK BAIT. (oo ha ha)

I am laughing at the idea of a luge-ing shark. from Jack Handy: I think the most frightening animal would be a shark riding on the back of an elephant, just tramping and eating everything they see.
julia_here
Mar. 9th, 2005 07:48 pm (UTC)
I love Carcharadon carcharias. Stumpy is my hero. Your daughter can come watch shark week with me.

Julia, long-running fascination with the rough toothed ones
stoney321
Mar. 9th, 2005 07:57 pm (UTC)
<- tiger sharks
I am in turn horrified and in love with the muscle/teeth that is the shark. Saw a re-creation based on the actual jaw of a Megalodon and about wet my pants. The museum curator cleverly set up the exhibit so that when you turned a corner to enter the room, you were no less than four feet from the gaping jaw of a 58 foot giant. They had "flesh" on it and everything. GAH!!

And I giggle at the sight of my pig-tailed toddler clutching her plush GW and pouring over a basking shark (Cetorhinidae) book. "He's sweet, mommy!" I pray she becomes a marine biologist, and not a diver that follows the big tuna boats, pushing the Makos away from the giant 1 mile-wide nets. PUSH. Push a Mako away from a net of it's most treasured dish.
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Mar. 10th, 2005 06:44 am (UTC)
Her love of fish started before Nemo - Dallas has an AMAZING aquarium downtown. There are giant river otters swimming about in tubes overhead, and spider monkey wandering about. She LOVED it. Then came Nemo, which solidified the aquatic love, pet fish, and then someone gave her a book of pictures - sharks.

It's been downhill ever since. She's showing me a picture of a basking shark right now and she just said, "he opens his mouth wiiiide and he doesn't have any teef."

We go to Petsmart weekly and look at the baby sharks for salt water aquariums. (I think we're getting some box turtles on Saturday. *sigh*) So what is it for your boys?
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Mar. 10th, 2005 07:36 am (UTC)
Let's see, Nathan is younger than 2nd grade, right? Have you heard of the kid's book "King of the Wind?" That's a great book for bedtime - my daughter had me read a chapter a day until we finished it.

I love that for current events your oldest is discussing King Tut. Ha! Off for my big power walk...
(Deleted comment)
marsterslady
Mar. 10th, 2005 10:37 am (UTC)
Eep! Big sharks. I have shark fear.

On a final note, studies are showing that laughter really IS the best medicine. It helps your blood vessels stay open and clog free. So for all of you not reading me and giving me feedback, you're only hurting yourself.

Hee! Thank you for helping to keep my blood vessels open and clog free.
stoney321
Mar. 10th, 2005 11:26 am (UTC)
I KNOW!! SHarks are evil. EVIL!! But they are KEWL to see in motion. While watching in a glass box. 1000 miles away. With a close circuit TV for viewing. Eeep!

My daughter is crazy. huh. Can't imagine where that came from...

And I consider it a public service. :-)
mskakaako
Mar. 10th, 2005 03:42 pm (UTC)
Wow! I go away for a while and you and your journal have gone shark-crazy. Is there funny, PRON-y fic that goes along with this new obsession? Your banner reminds me of Transformers. Missed you! *mwah*
stoney321
Mar. 10th, 2005 04:41 pm (UTC)
Not much in the way of porn (um, did you read my faith/fred naughty doctor fic? that's it) and I wrote a bunch of fics for Dovil's birthday, stored in my memories under Dovil's Birthday Fics. Because I'm clever like that.

Transformers? Huh? OH MY GOD, I am eating my last Coffee Crisp tonight! *cries* But I've lost some weight, with a bit more to go, so I'm good.

Are you getting excited to go to the FAR EAST?? OMG, that is coming up in like, what? A week? Two? I've missed you too, my leetle chickadee!
mskakaako
Mar. 11th, 2005 06:02 pm (UTC)
Y'know Transformers...more than meets the eye. The theme song? Nope haven't read any fic since the hiatus. I broke down yesterday and told hubby to get me back on lj.

You want more Coffee Crisp? I can be your dealer! You're my 'ho.

One week. Spring break is taking its sweet ass time.

Hahah! The Hasselhoff icon rooooolz!!!!11!!! :D
stoney321
Mar. 11th, 2005 06:11 pm (UTC)
<-- David Hasselholff is:
OMG! your icon is a picture of us, and you dyed your hair! (But I like dark hair. Change it back. Hee!) you're Anya!

I'm trying SO hard to lose weight before bathing suit season, so I'll say no now, but I may be hitting you up for some come August. I'm your Ho!! Sweet.

GAH!! I cannot WAIT to see your pictures. I wish I could go. One day....
( 35 comments — Leave a comment )

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Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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