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To defriend me, that is.

My cat is on the prowl again, which means today I found THREE dead bunnies in the backyard.

I wanted to take the kids' Easter baskets I bought today and put them next to a carcass, candies and plastic eggs scattered about.

I won't, but I thought about it. For an hour.

Comments

( 68 comments — Leave a comment )
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beadattitude
Mar. 20th, 2005 05:46 pm (UTC)
::covers mouth and cackles in horrified glee:: That's awesome!

stoney321
Mar. 20th, 2005 07:10 pm (UTC)
I'm wrong.

*hangs head in shame*
*giggles while I'm there*
yin_again
Mar. 20th, 2005 05:57 pm (UTC)
I'ma friend you twice!!
stoney321
Mar. 20th, 2005 07:11 pm (UTC)
Heee!!

That's cuz yer baddirtywrong too, and I LOVE it!
greenstone_j
Mar. 20th, 2005 06:02 pm (UTC)
*Evil laugh* That's just perfectly diabolical, and if you do give into temptation...promise to post a pic? *grin*
stoney321
Mar. 20th, 2005 07:12 pm (UTC)
Oh, these bunnies are barely recognizable. The cat is EVIL. (Which is why she is lovely)

And my kids would cry. Hmmm. PERHAPS I WILL.
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Mar. 20th, 2005 07:12 pm (UTC)
Well, if you've learned anything about me, it's that I enjoy shattering the myths of childhood.

Ha! I'm HORRIBLE.
amontillado
Mar. 20th, 2005 06:08 pm (UTC)

I laughed so hard I choked.

If I ever become a mama, I'm going to be just like you, Stoney :D.
stoney321
Mar. 20th, 2005 07:13 pm (UTC)
I'm working on a story when my son hits puberty. He was a howler monkey we adopted and trained to speak. But when he turns 13, he has to go back to the zoo. THE SPELL IS BROKEN.
buffyx
Mar. 20th, 2005 06:14 pm (UTC)
I think I hurt myself laughing.

Can I metaquotes you?
stoney321
Mar. 20th, 2005 07:14 pm (UTC)
You can do whatever you like.

*braces self for anmal lovers to be sickened*
... - buffyx - Mar. 20th, 2005 07:26 pm (UTC) - Expand
julia_here
Mar. 20th, 2005 06:24 pm (UTC)
Ma petite choux, if you think I'm going to defriend you over a bunny-eating cat, you got the wrong gardener.

Elvyra lives on because she thins the bunny population. When they built the apartments across the road they drove out the Great Horned Owl, and the red tails won't hunt close to the house. The coyotes prefer pet food, which clueless suburbanites think is ooky and so keep on their porches... I've lost young magnolias, and middle aged roses, to the stupid rabbits, and think a cat is quite the thing.

Of course, Moose was the perfect rabbit and gopher cat, because he had no interest in birds. His daddy was a huge blue-point part manx stray that I called The Rabbit God; both of them could take down full sizes adult rabbits.

Julia, miss my Moosecat
stoney321
Mar. 20th, 2005 07:16 pm (UTC)
Well, the anticipated defriending was more about me dressing the carcasses up to resmeble the Easter bunny post-fateful meeting with DarthAnne.

What makes it ESPECIALLY CRUEL (and therefore, funnier in my sick brain) is that we started Peter Cotontail as a bedtime story for the 3 year old.

And I love me a good cat with strong instincts and the ability to follow through.

*admires my crop of borage, spinach and lettuce - untouched by the grace of my cat*
... - julia_here - Mar. 20th, 2005 08:40 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Mar. 20th, 2005 10:30 pm (UTC) - Expand
crayonbreakygal
Mar. 20th, 2005 06:36 pm (UTC)
What the little hunter you have. My dogs once caught a skunk, and killed it. Let's just say I made the hubby come home and deal with that carcass. The stupid dogs didn't even get sprayed. These dogs were kinda psycho though. My cats have never caught anything because they're inside cats. I bet my Samantha would have if I would have let her out while she was alive.

::snort:: You wouldn't? No, you would. Look like they OD'd on Easter? Sometimes I wonder about you, lady. That's probably why we all like you so much.
stoney321
Mar. 20th, 2005 07:19 pm (UTC)
Gah. Skunk carcass. I think I'm the only one on planet earth, but I love skunks. So funny, so filled with love and need. They'll cross the busiest street to get to their lady-loves...

Um, the idea was to create a horrible tableau of Easter Bunny on his way with the kids' baskets, but our cat killed him. Kind of a "Santa was hit by a bus, so Christmas is cancelled" type joke.

I am broken inside. Don't look at me!! I'm hideous!!
kaydee23
Mar. 20th, 2005 07:23 pm (UTC)
You evil......sick......twisted

When I was a little girl, growing up on the farm, it was my city girl raised mother who made fun of our farm raised father for getting too attached to the animals. We had cattle, sheep, pigs, chickens, ducks, geese, rabbits, turkeys, peacock; just about everything.

One night we were eating supper and everyone was talking about how good the meat was. My brother said, "It taste so good, but it's not chicken is it?" My father looked down at the plate and said, "Oh my god, Paula, I can't believe you. It's almost Easter!" He dumped his plate in the trash and stormed out of the house.

Yep, she cooked two of our rabbits. In her defense, they weren't pets, and were raised to be shown, sold, or slaughtered, but my dad thought they should have gotten a reprieve for Easter.

He won't eat mutton to this day because our sheep were too cute, and he couldn't stand the idea of killing them. He stopped raising them and rabbits for show, profit, or slaughter for that very reason. He was an odd farmboy, that's for sure.

Actually, he wouldn't allow any animal we'd raise to be eaten by our family. If he knew about it. I'm sure my mother sneaked in a chicken or two.
stoney321
Mar. 20th, 2005 07:32 pm (UTC)
My grandpa DELIBERATELY served my dad his 4-H projects to remind him that life was cheap on a farm. My dad still won't eat lamb to this day.

(Um, you get that I was going to dress the carcass up like it WAS the Easter Bunny and our cat killed it? Is that too horrible for a normal person such as yourself? I'M HORRIBLE!!!)

Oh, and PEACOCK?? My dream is to have a farm with horses and peacocks. One day...
... - kaydee23 - Mar. 20th, 2005 09:06 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Mar. 20th, 2005 10:31 pm (UTC) - Expand
spikendru
Mar. 20th, 2005 07:23 pm (UTC)
For an hour? Okay, that part is just . . . I have no words!

*runs away, giggling hysterically, to nominate stoney321 at the next Republican 'Mother of the Year' banquet*
stoney321
Mar. 20th, 2005 07:30 pm (UTC)
See, a big problem with me is that I'll almost ALWAYS go for the joke. Comedians are the cruelest people on earth. THE CRUELEST!!

*cries, steals your purse while you get me a tissue*

My middle kid would laugh, the others would never speak to me again.

Hmmmmmm...
cityphonelines
Mar. 20th, 2005 07:36 pm (UTC)
*defriends*
*lies*
*cackles gleefully at your brain*
stoney321
Mar. 20th, 2005 08:04 pm (UTC)
You know, they really shouldn't let me out of the hospital without supervision.
zyrya
Mar. 20th, 2005 07:40 pm (UTC)
I wish LJ had an extra-friending facility, because you'd qualify on every level.
stoney321
Mar. 20th, 2005 08:04 pm (UTC)
Hee!! I'm extra-friendy!
msanborn
Mar. 20th, 2005 07:41 pm (UTC)
that rocks...

like

so hard.
stoney321
Mar. 20th, 2005 08:03 pm (UTC)
Not as much as your icon!

*oogles the hilarity*
*grin* - msanborn - Mar. 21st, 2005 11:06 am (UTC) - Expand
poshcat
Mar. 20th, 2005 07:50 pm (UTC)
SO FUNNY!

A columnist in our local paper once said that whenever his dad had to choose between right and wrong - he'd go for whatever was funniest. That is you all over. ::loves::

Plus, you got meta-quoted! You're famous!
stoney321
Mar. 20th, 2005 08:05 pm (UTC)
I KNEW you would laugh. Because you share my love of the sick joke.

ALWAYS go for the joke. The ONE lesson my mother taught me...

*cries in sleep*
hellziggy
Mar. 20th, 2005 08:27 pm (UTC)
mwah-ha-ha!!!
That's great! There will be no defriending!
stoney321
Mar. 20th, 2005 10:32 pm (UTC)
Hee!!! (And I just saw your comment to my last post. THERE IS NO DEFRIENDING HERE, EITHER!!!)

*buys us drinks, and salutes the greatness that is the twain*
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Mar. 20th, 2005 10:33 pm (UTC)
I KNOW!! I'm a total weiner when it comes to animals in need.

But DarthAnne NEEDS to kill, Sue! She piled up their cottontails underneath the THUNDERDOME for me to find. Ahh!!!

*sobs*

I kilt the Easter Bunny!
ladynemo
Mar. 20th, 2005 09:13 pm (UTC)
Teehee.

Today, at work, this kid asked her mother some obnoxious question.
I wanted to yell out "Because Santa isn't real, your teddy bear secretly hates you, and your parents regret ever having you."
Instead I hid behind the counter and laughed until my stomach hurt.
stoney321
Mar. 20th, 2005 10:33 pm (UTC)
I'm am not alone in my evil!

*dance of glee*
... - ladynemo - Mar. 20th, 2005 10:47 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Mar. 21st, 2005 06:42 am (UTC) - Expand
ex_dovil323
Mar. 20th, 2005 09:22 pm (UTC)
*sniggers evily*

stoney321
Mar. 20th, 2005 10:34 pm (UTC)
Satan?

...


MOM?!?
slackerace
Mar. 20th, 2005 09:57 pm (UTC)
Why won't LJ let me friend you twice? You totally deserve to be on my list x2, because you are that entertaining...
stoney321
Mar. 20th, 2005 10:34 pm (UTC)
I am a monkey in my silly monkey pants. I, unlike jon Stewart, WILL be your monkey.
themindseye
Mar. 20th, 2005 10:08 pm (UTC)
So friending you over this. My husband thinks you're cool too.
stoney321
Mar. 20th, 2005 10:35 pm (UTC)
your icon is odd and byoo'e-full.

I AM cool! just ask anyone around here!

*pays flist off liek whoa*
captainofidiots
Mar. 20th, 2005 10:14 pm (UTC)
*dies*

Ok, that is hilarious. You uh, don't know me but I couldn't not comment. That sounds like something my grandmother would do...

*dies some more*
stoney321
Mar. 20th, 2005 10:36 pm (UTC)
*steals your posh apartment because you are now dead*

I've seen you about! I am wrong. So, so very wrong. Which makes me fun.
... - captainofidiots - Mar. 20th, 2005 10:42 pm (UTC) - Expand
_divya_
Mar. 20th, 2005 10:35 pm (UTC)
OMG I want to defriend you but frankly, I'm scared of what you'd do to me if I did. ::cries:: ::uses icon of innocence::

You're right though, comedians really are the cruelest people.
stoney321
Mar. 20th, 2005 10:37 pm (UTC)
I WILL FUCKING CUT YOU.

Evil, the whole lot. I've dated enough to know.

*eyes you, uses mildly threatening icon*
paynbow
Mar. 20th, 2005 11:18 pm (UTC)
BAHAHAHAHA!!! That is why I love you...I mean, sure you'd traumatize them a little, but think of the funny! *snarffle*
stoney321
Mar. 21st, 2005 06:20 am (UTC)
ALWAYS go for the joke! My mother trained me well.
[/evil]
mskakaako
Mar. 21st, 2005 12:43 am (UTC)
Bwahahahahahah! That would be AWESOME!!! Do it!!!! Heeeeheeee! I'm sure your kids have the same warped sense of humour as you. Although, if it's really bloody, it's kinda gross. But, HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
stoney321
Mar. 21st, 2005 06:20 am (UTC)
Yes, my kids have poor taste as well. I mean, we're HILARIOUS!

Hee hee!
somecandytalkin
Mar. 21st, 2005 04:21 am (UTC)
<-------Happy Easter, Children!
Well, I think the important question is would it make your being gone for Easter any easier, right?
stoney321
Mar. 21st, 2005 06:21 am (UTC)
Re: <-------Happy Easter, Children!
Yes it would.

IT WOULD.

*does it*
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( 68 comments — Leave a comment )

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Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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