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So, so much today!! I'm bouncing off the walls. First off, today is someone special's birthday. In my search for more Buffy-related things, I stumbled across AFFN. Had NEVER heard of fanfic before. Thought things were great, thought things were crap, thought I would write something. So, um, I wrote Spuffy AU. First bit of fiction since college, lo these many years. Even though it's as AU as can be (I mean, they just look bodily like William and Buffy - TERRIBLE characterization on my part,) I still kinda love that story a whole bunch. Because one of my first reviews had this in it: You and I both need to give big thanks to Slackerace. She recommended this story on LJ LJ? What is this of which you speak? So you can either thank her (or throw eggs at her) because she led me to YOU. *sniff*

Happiest of Birthdays, Andrea! (slackerace)

Yesterday, I had somecandytalkin come up for a visit and she brought me a BRA!! (She remembered my rant) I tried it out today and it WORKS. The girls don't budge. And it's VIOLET! Woot. She also gave me a copy of Bust magazine, and if you aren't reading it, you are missing out. Great articles, independent shops, many things of the good. And Amy Sedaris! I will have a new icon by this evening.

For the knitters: knitpixie They have alpaca and BAMBOO. Dude, it feels like cashmere. It's all the rage, apparently and it feels GOOD.
Awesome T-Shirts: stayoutofmybush "Use your words, kids!" Hee hee!!
For "big girls": T-Shirts and more: datgurl (Size 12+)
For PHUN TOYS!!!: thesmittenkittenonline

I'm lame, I know. I should have known about all of this.

Mr. Stoney came home earlier, we had a super fun night laughing and being silly, went to the grocery store today and were goofy and "sneak-dancing" behind the old ladies. I luff him. He promised to make it up to me for not getting to go to NY because of the Schmoo and her nightmares. There will be outdoor fun, shopping (I luff him) and herbage. Hee! I'm irresponsible. But relaxed... We bought him new suits and dress shirts today and he is looking FOINE. He will have a good weekend, too. :-D

I found my old "Deep Thoughts" book this morning and have been cracking up all day. I share the fun with you now. Because I luff you ALL!!!
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes an even bigger man to laugh at that man.

I'd like to see a nude opera, because when they hit those high notes I bet you can really see it in those genitals.

As I bit into the nectarine, it had a crisp juiciness about that was very pleasurable - until I realized it wasn't a nectarine at all, but a HUMAN HEAD.

In weightlifting, I don't think sudden, uncontrolled urination should automatically disqualify you. (It's the "uncontrolled" that gets me.)

Laurie got offended that I used the word "puke." But to me, that's what her dinner tasted like.

If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mister Brave Man, I guess I am a coward.

Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the person's house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o'-lantern with a knife in the side of its head with a note that says "You." After that, I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.
Love you all! Have a glorious weekend, on me!


( 40 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 15th, 2005 02:08 pm (UTC)
you need professional help :)
Apr. 15th, 2005 03:42 pm (UTC)
Holy shit, I want to fuck your icon.

Wow. You're right!!
(Deleted comment)
Apr. 15th, 2005 03:44 pm (UTC)
To this day, Au Contraire, Au Pair is still the only Spuffy fic I know of with carnies. *beams*

Oh, I read the reviews yesterday in the NJ times. Not kind. But that's what would have made the weekend fun: giggling over VK being nekkid and saying the same goddamned line over and over again while the other prostitutes writhe on the floor. Oh, and I would be drunk. With the gang.

I cut my hair! Three inches! I feel flippy and light!
(Deleted comment)
Apr. 15th, 2005 05:13 pm (UTC)
But not as tart at Cold Duck. Strawberry Hill is classy. But not as classy as Franzia. With a chaser of Sprite.

My hair was RAGGEDY on the ends. I realized I haven't had a trim since October!! Not it's bouncin' and behavin'.

Whatchu doon?
(Deleted comment)
Apr. 15th, 2005 02:45 pm (UTC)
I'd like to see a nude opera, because when they hit those high notes I bet you can really see it in those genitals.

Considering the size of some opera singers... perish the thought!
Apr. 15th, 2005 03:44 pm (UTC)
Apr. 15th, 2005 02:54 pm (UTC)
deep thoughts!
If you ever drop your keys in a river of molten lava, just leave 'em, cause man, they're gone.

To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kinda scary. I think this goes back to the time when I was at the circus and a clown killed my dad.

A wise man can look at a grain of sand and envision the whole universe. But a stupid man will just lay down in some seaweed and roll around in it until he's completely covered. Then he'll stand up and go, "Hey, I'm Vine Man."

Deep Thoughts... that takes me back. When I was in high school and my friends and I were just starting to all get the internet, we used to find webpages with lists of deep thoughts, and print them out and read them at lunchtime.

Yep, I was a nerd even back then!
Apr. 15th, 2005 02:54 pm (UTC)
Re: deep thoughts!
oh yeah, and:
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
Apr. 15th, 2005 03:46 pm (UTC)
Re: deep thoughts!
I think in one of my previous lives I was a mighty king, because I like people to do what I say.
Apr. 15th, 2005 04:22 pm (UTC)
Re: deep thoughts!
If dogs ever rule the world, and they have to choose a President, I hope they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some chihuahuas out there with some pretty good ideas.
Apr. 15th, 2005 05:14 pm (UTC)
Re: deep thoughts!
I bet for an Indian, shooting an old fat pioneer woman in the back with an arrow, and she fires her shotgun into the ground as she falls over, is like the top thing you can do.
Apr. 15th, 2005 03:45 pm (UTC)
Re: deep thoughts!
NO!! Never a nerd! You are my Marlo, and I cuddle you.

We used to laugh at Granpa when he'd head off to go fishing. But we wouldn't be laughing that evening, when he'd comeb ack with some whore he picked up in town.
Apr. 15th, 2005 04:23 pm (UTC)
Re: deep thoughts!
If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because then people with think you're a dummy and try to catch you, because hey, free dummy.
Apr. 15th, 2005 05:15 pm (UTC)
Re: deep thoughts!
Hee hee! I love quote marathons with you.

Sometimes the beauty of the world is so overwhelming, I just want to throw back my head and gargle. Just gargle and gargle, and I don't care who hears me because I am beautiful.
Apr. 15th, 2005 05:17 pm (UTC)
Re: deep thoughts!

Oh man. I forgot about that one!

I'm watching the first episode of Veronica Mars 'cause I keep hearing good things about it so I downloaded it. YAY!
Apr. 15th, 2005 05:21 pm (UTC)
Re: deep thoughts!
I LOVE Veronica Mars. It took me a bit to like her, but now I just love love it. It's like Chloe from Smallville rolled up with Buffy on the set of Twin Peaks. And if THAT isn't a ringing endorsement....

:-) I've missed you!! Saw your earlier post, and glad you are happy with Toren and new manga and shows.
Apr. 15th, 2005 04:25 pm (UTC)
Re: deep thoughts!
I believe in making the world a better place for our children, but not for our children's children, because I don't believe that children should be having sex.

why are these still in my brain? ;D
Apr. 15th, 2005 05:16 pm (UTC)
Re: deep thoughts!

My absolute, most favorite one of all:

If God dwells inside us, like some people say, I sure hope he likes enchiladas, because that's what He's getting.
Apr. 15th, 2005 03:17 pm (UTC)
I've never enjoyed perverted baboon sex more!11!!!1
Glad the girls are happy; gladder the adult Stoney's are well and having fun;)

THANK YOU slackerace! I <3 Stoney! It would be a sad, sad lj world without her. *sniff*

Your gardens are FABULOUS, btw...I am getting inspired! Go Sedum! Go Succulent! Go Native!
And Emily is adorable.

I bet a funny thing while driving a car off a cliff is, while you're in midair, you still hit those brakes! Hey, better try the emergency brake!

Apr. 15th, 2005 03:47 pm (UTC)
Re: I've never enjoyed perverted baboon sex more!11!!!1
Emily told Daddy aalllll about mommy's "sister." Hee!!! Sedums and succulents are my LIFE dude. :-) Wanna know who has the best? HOME DEPOT Landscape, I kid you not.

A man doesn't automatically get my respect. He has to get down in the dirt and beg for it.
Apr. 17th, 2005 01:53 pm (UTC)
Re: I've never enjoyed perverted baboon sex more!11!!!1
Hee! Emily is so cute. You're a fabulous "sister". Hey, you're better than a couple of the real ones. I'm off to Home Depot today, on your rec, and I'm gonna check out the succulents, the sedums, and look for a lime tree because I feel in love with your Meyer Lemon. Lovely.
And your fave deep thought? With enchiladas? Is teh best.
If you were a gladiator in olden days, I bet the inefficiency of how the gladiator fights were organized and scheduled would just drive you up a wall.
Apr. 17th, 2005 01:59 pm (UTC)
Meant to say
I lak U Bettah. Of course you're better than.
Apr. 15th, 2005 03:28 pm (UTC)
Wha? There's no baboon sex? Aww.

I've never heard of Bust magazine. We all should have a subscription.

Loved the deep thoughts. Of course, now I know why the kids are lookin' at me funny because I'm laughing hysterically. "Mom, you need help."

After your adventures in gardening, I went and bought plants too. I needed my fix. I still have to plant half of them though. Phooey. Kids--you wanna get dirty?
Apr. 15th, 2005 03:48 pm (UTC)
I fully support child labor.

Well, there was hot monkey sex. Are baboons monkeys?

Bust magazine is AWESOME! www.bust.com for all of their fun items. I want the Wonder Woman underwear.
Apr. 15th, 2005 04:18 pm (UTC)
You get all the fun things. I went to Toys R Us to get Andrew's fun birthday present (another Thomas the Tank Engine series something or other I don't pay much attention any more) and to look at the action figures, which are (a) boring and (b) pitiable.

I have plants to plant but it's hailing again! I have all I need to vanquish the vile Claridge Druce and even with safety precautions I'm no way spraying herbicide in the wind! And the pixies did not come and do all the prep for dinner while I was in town, either.

Julia, although I did see a man in a wonderful ostritch costume at the Farmer's Market
Apr. 15th, 2005 05:19 pm (UTC)
No, no, not ALL the fun things. Unless saddlebags and flabby underarms are all the fun things.

The only "action figures" my son likes are Bionicles because he can build them and modify them like Legos. But it seems you have a ways to go if you are still picking up Thomas the Train (which we all loved.)

HAIL!! My greatest foe. Except for the grasshoppers and sow bugs. And snails. And rabbits. I'll be interested to hear how your vanquishing of your foe goes.

Ostrich costume? Was there a purpose, or just 'cause?
Apr. 15th, 2005 05:47 pm (UTC)
The ostritch costume was absolutely out of context- I think it's a busker thing, although it was a rotten day for busking, pouring rain and maybe 50 people at the Market, at lunchtime when it's usually packed.

The action figures are for me- I collect, although it's getting to the point where there are zero 3D opportunities for new release toy-store priced ones other than movie tie-ins. And all the Star Wars stuff is either 4" or anime style, boo, hiss.

Andrew got two sets of Bionicles at his birthday party, and no Thomas stuff. One reason I waited for a couple of weeks (he turned seven on the last day of March) was so I could get him something no-one else had. He and Anna were missing each other (he said "Anna" before he said Mama of Dada, much to his parents disgust) so today was a cousin bonding day.

The weather is driving me spare- just warm enough that everything is growing at the standard April rate (too damned fast to keep up with) and raining too hard to work outside.

Julia, and I got these amazing tiger-striped violas that are also extremely swweet-scented, but I also need to put down iron sulfate slug bait before they can be planted.
Apr. 16th, 2005 05:53 am (UTC)
Ever try diatomaceous earth for slugs/snails? You do have to reapply after watering or rainfall, but it works pretty darn fast.

Take pics of your garden! I'm DROOLING with want.
Apr. 15th, 2005 09:57 pm (UTC)
I'm forever indebted to slackerace. I LUFF YOU!!!

I love Jack Handy's Deep Thoughts. My favourite one was about driving his newphew up to an burned out warehouse and telling them that Disneyland burned down. Heeeee...must be the teacher in me. Or the sadist. Hahahahhaahha! I used to stay up for SNL just for those bits.

Also, quit flaunting your big, violet boobies in front of me. It's driving me crazy.

Apr. 16th, 2005 05:56 am (UTC)
I luff you too!!!

Oh, the Disneyland one and the "Why is it raining?" Because God is crying. "Why is he crying?" Probably because of something YOU did.' ar HEELARIOUS.

Apr. 17th, 2005 06:20 pm (UTC)
Heehee! I loved the 'crying' one too!

Also, I can see your boobies and I-C-U-P! Teeheee!
Much luff, much luff!
Apr. 17th, 2005 06:29 pm (UTC)

I just clicked the link to your first fic and I read it before, way back when. I loved it! It was when I just got into the fanfic, but was too shy (and ashamed, yes, ashamed...what a foolio I was) and stuff to comment. I didn't really understand the whole deal with fanfic etiquette and feedback. We could have been lovers friends even earlier! Curse my shyness!
Apr. 16th, 2005 03:35 am (UTC)
"I wrote Spuffy AU. First bit of fiction since college, lo these many years. Even though it's as AU as can be (I mean, they just look bodily like William and Buffy - TERRIBLE characterization on my part",
Oh I suppose you mean 'Au Pair' ? And I always found this story so lovely.
Did I sound stupid or completely blind with the spuffy addiction? Certainly ridiculous.
*perhaps you should take away the reviews I left you at the time?*

But it also allowed me to have you around, so it isn't entirely bad?

::wipes a tear::
Apr. 16th, 2005 06:00 am (UTC)
*dries your tear, for you misunderstand*

I'm saying that my writing FANfic has improved since that first story. I loved the Spike/Buffy relationship, but the fic that I wrote is more like original fic than fanfiction. Because I was more interested in writing a story than making them have all of the canon characteristics that we know about Spike and Buffy. But. I still love that story, too. I think "Cook" is one of the funniest characters I've written. :-D

And don't you take away your review! That's my record of how we met!!

*hugs you, buys you a pony. Or champagne*
(Deleted comment)
Apr. 16th, 2005 06:03 am (UTC)
Hee! That epilogue was an RPG. I'm shameless.

I'm glad you liked the Grudge! And now you can't be safe under your blankets. I think it's fun to let yourself go in a horror (or psycho-thriller) movie and just have a fun fright. Not many movies out there can deliver the wiggins.

Clothes!! Me, too. J. Jill is always a good choice for those with womanly bodies. I love Ann Taylor and Jones of New York, too. True to size, fit curves, and the clothes last for ever. For bathing suits... I trust Lands' End. the only bathing suit I've ever owned that actually stays on my bum and not "in" it.

Where you going to look for a skirt? Are you needing a "circle" skirt? Full and swirly like your icon?
(Deleted comment)
( 40 comments — Leave a comment )


Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

Time Wot It Is

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