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Fic! Troika Fic! And B-Day wishes, to boot.

Happiest of days to crayonbreakygal and dancingdragon. May your day be merry and light, filled with presents, free food, and a foot massage. *blows out candle to make it true*

crazydiamondsue is running a Music of Pain ficathon, or "MOPEathon" as I call it, but since this pairing isn't allowed, I'll just write it for fun, mm'kay? The song for the inspiration is: "My Cell-Mate Thinks I'm Sexy." *snerk* Let's say that after Andrew and Jonathan get away from Dawn and Xander and Buffy in "Grave," Season 6, they got picked up again by the police. They weren't the smartest bunch in the real world. So we'll pick up there. Wheeee!! Rated G. Ish.



"We are going to die. We are going to die in here and I will never fully realize my dream of having all of the play-sets from the Imperial Trilogy in my possession, and my brother is going to to take my action figures and throw them away and it's all your fault!"

"How is it my fault? You and Warren were going to leave me! You two had big plans to leave me as Buffy-fodder while you jetted off to the new Hall of Doom."

"Warren- "

"He's dead. Super Witch killed him and we're next. I never should have listened to his siren song."

Andrew, huddled in the corner of the remaining cell not pulled apart by Willow in the Sunnydale Municipal Courthouse/Jail, stopped rocking back and forth. His eyes glistened with unshed tears. "Warren... He wasn't supposed to die!"

"None of us were. No one else was, either! We're going to be sent to the chair. The electric chair."

"Maybe they'll send us to Utah to keep us away from the other prisoners who would see killing us as a badge of honor? You know, because we're super villains? In Utah they still have firing squads. That's pretty butch."

"But you're allergic to things covering your eyes."

"Oh. Yeah."

Andrew leans his head against the concrete wall, dejected and hopeless. Jonathan paces back and forth behind the bars.

"I looked up some spells I thought we could use to... you know. Take over? I wanted to see if I could perform a spell that would make me have the power of magnetic energy-"

A reverent whisper, "Magneto."

"And if I could just think, maybe I could remember it?"

Jonathan holds the cell's bars in his hands, closes his eyes, take a few deep breaths and starts.

Adaugeo ego concresco
Fortis de navitas
Inflecto de ego numen!


Make me strong
Power of energy
Bend to My (Deity usage) will


"Hmm. Interesting word choice there, Shortstack."

"Don't call me that! And what do you mean?"

"Numen? You wish. You're the god of... your pants!"

"Pants? Pfft. That was one step up from 'I know you are but what am I?'"

"Well, now it won't work, Tiny Tim, because you were too busy drawing pictures of Harmony in Latin class instead of paying attention to tenses and stuff!"

"Harmony wasn't in Latin with us! Or... with anyone! Duh!"

"Oh, my god. Were you drawing pictures of that guy in the Whitesnake tribute band? With the long blonde hair?"

"Shut up, Andrew! I don't see you coming up with any ideas!"

"Because it's the end of the line, oh wee one! How long do you think it's going to take for Darth Rosenberg to find us? She's all hopped up on the Dark Side and that little hound dog is going to sniff us out and she's going to take us apart limb by limb! It won't take so long for you, but I'm not like other people! Pain hurts me!"

"We just have to wait for Buffy."

"Wonder Woman isn't going to help us anymore! Her lasso of truth has been tarnished by her devotion to the She Witch." Andrew looks off to the distance, which isn't far, considering he's standing next to a concrete wall and says to no one, "She has truly become the Amazon queen."

"Would you shut up and think?"

Jonathan turns his back to Andrew, rests his forehead on the cold, steel bars and thinks. As he rests, his eyes look down at the lock on their cell. And notices something important. He stands to his full 5 foot and 1.173 inches, takes a deep breath, and, with his Macho Voice, he says with dead calm, "I'm going to use my body to bring the door down."

"What? You don't have the midi-chlorians to pull that off! That's solid steel and you're tiny and it's like... Well, pain is your kryptonite!"

Jonathan looks over his shoulder, squints in what he thinks of as his Clint-face, and says, "I know."

He kicks the door, arms flung out like the Karate Kid, and the cage door swings free. In their hurry to catch the "chick on PCP with jacked up eyes," the Sunnydale Police seem to have forgotten to lock the Duo in for the night.

Andrew appears shocked for a few moments, then breaks into an "aw-shucks" grin.

"That was cool. You totally got me."

Jonathan laughs with him, his shoulders joggling up and down with his glee. "To Meh-hee-ko, then?"

Andrew gets serious, nods and replies, "Ándale, Mini Me."
*~*~*~*


And to keep my head spinning with the inconsistancy of my thoughts, I have an RPS for sweptawaybayou coming up later today. DB/VK, drugs and rock and roll. I'm broken! Hooray!

Comments

( 41 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Jun. 30th, 2005 09:43 am (UTC)
I have serious Troika/Duo love. So I don't get sued, the "I'm not like other people - pain hurts me!" is from Daffy Duck, as penned by the fantastically funny Chuck Jones.

I LOVE THE BOYS AND I LOVE YOU!!
amybnnyc
Jun. 30th, 2005 09:18 am (UTC)
BWA! Pain is my kryptonite, as well...

Luckily the funny makes the pain go away!
stoney321
Jun. 30th, 2005 10:56 am (UTC)
Yay for the funny!!

OMG, did I just yay myself? :-D
(Deleted comment)
amybnnyc
Jun. 30th, 2005 11:12 am (UTC)
'Tis snaggable, I believe... made by raspberryhats and gakked from a post in btvs_icons.

Meanwhile, similar icon love!
(Deleted comment)
amybnnyc
Jun. 30th, 2005 12:33 pm (UTC)
Yay! *snags with credit*

LOL about the porch... I'm new on the porch. There are brooms? I have broom fear! *ducks*
paynbow
Jul. 2nd, 2005 01:58 am (UTC)
snaggable, eh? Cause that? That is a wonderful icon *g*
amybnnyc
Jul. 2nd, 2005 01:59 am (UTC)
Snaggable indeed... and irresistible, aren't they? *lurves my dorky boys* *g*
beadattitude
Jun. 30th, 2005 09:19 am (UTC)
Oh my gosh, I hurt my self laughing. Hurt.
stoney321
Jun. 30th, 2005 10:57 am (UTC)
HOORAY!!

*breathe*

Sorry, I find myself doing that everytime I see Darth (Rosenberg)

HI SUSI!! *smooches to you and your bill of goodern'heck health*
beadattitude
Jun. 30th, 2005 11:01 am (UTC)
Um, Jeff and I wander around the house doing that. *breathe* ::giggle::

LaaaaRRRUA!

Mornin'!

Goodern' heck. That's me! ::dances::

::smooches yous silly::

Like my new icon? Virgin posting, alll for you.
stoney321
Jun. 30th, 2005 11:20 am (UTC)
EEEEE! 'Tis lovely. Let's see...

I have no new icons, I don't believe. Instead, Have A Pony.
beadattitude
Jun. 30th, 2005 01:26 pm (UTC)
HEE! Here's my other new icon. I loooves it. Can't wait to use it for aftermath_fic.
beadattitude
Jun. 30th, 2005 01:26 pm (UTC)
HEE! Here's my other new icon. I loooves it. Can't wait to use it for aftermath_fic.
marlo
Jun. 30th, 2005 11:39 am (UTC)
SO MUCH LOVE. ♥
GOLD:
the electric chair

Were you drawing pictures of that guy in the Whitesnake tribute band?

She has truly become the Amazon queen.

Characterizations EXCELLENT. God I love Andrew. And you. You rule.



stoney321
Jun. 30th, 2005 11:58 am (UTC)
HEE!! I love Andrew and Jonathan so very, very much. I thought you'd laugh at the wonder woman bit...

I have an idea for a S7 fic with Andrew and Dawn talking about Teen Titans, but that may just be me being gratuitous. :-D It would morph into Sailor Moon, naturally. Ha ha ha!! I love Andrew.

YOU RULE!! You even write laws, you rule so much. (Shhh. Let me go with that one.)
crayonbreakygal
Jun. 30th, 2005 12:39 pm (UTC)
One, it's my birthday. Two, you wrote an awesome Andrew and Jonathan fic. And three? Damn, I need to go finish my ficathon. Why can't I just think about the first two, huh? I giggled through the whole fic. I miss Andrew and Jonathan!
stoney321
Jun. 30th, 2005 01:22 pm (UTC)
Wheee!! Glad you liked it, and I miss them SO MUCH. So much funny...

Have an AWESOME birthday! *pets baby in tummy for good measure*
sweptawaybayou
Jun. 30th, 2005 01:13 pm (UTC)
*bounce*

*kisses you all up*

stoney321
Jun. 30th, 2005 01:23 pm (UTC)
it's up... it's up...

*waggles and wiggles*
likeadeuce
Jun. 30th, 2005 01:27 pm (UTC)
hahahahahaha!!!!!!

the trio! Whitesnake tribute cover band!

Harmony would be appalled that anyone even thought Jonathon was drawing her.

hahahaha!

"But you're allergic to things covering your eyes."
stoney321
Jun. 30th, 2005 03:49 pm (UTC)
Yay! The allergy line (and Magneto) was my fave joke. Hooray for the TRoika! Less one...

Came this close to having his doodling a Liger. Heh.
likeadeuce
Jun. 30th, 2005 03:56 pm (UTC)
ok, I officially need to see that movie, don't I?

(was mocked by my class the other night for not getting their Napoleon Dynamite jokes)
inlovewithnight
Jun. 30th, 2005 02:07 pm (UTC)
Hee! Too funny!

"Pain is your Kryptonite." Oh, the love.
stoney321
Jun. 30th, 2005 03:49 pm (UTC)
Yay! I love funny nerds. Oh, Andrew. You shoulda been introduced in S2.
spikendru
Jun. 30th, 2005 05:48 pm (UTC)
This was just right! I must admit, I've always had a soft spot for Jonathan, but OMG! I adore Andrew! Loved this.
stoney321
Jun. 30th, 2005 07:16 pm (UTC)
Hooray! Glad you enjoyed!
ex_dovil323
Jul. 1st, 2005 03:30 am (UTC)
You give fantastic nerdage! That was wonderful and you have the voices down pat. Now I have to run back and watch a Season Six episode, just because of you. Yay the Duoika!
stoney321
Jul. 1st, 2005 05:45 am (UTC)
I had to pop in S6 and get the groove back and feel the nerd love, too.

Duoika! Bweee!
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Jul. 2nd, 2005 05:38 am (UTC)
I agree about the writers' stance on the TRoika: they are us!! (And them.) That's why I don't get it when people around here say they don't like the Trio. They... they're YOU! And Me. Lord, SO much are they me.

I'm so glad you liked it and that it made you smile!
chantal87
Jul. 1st, 2005 04:41 pm (UTC)
Her lasso of truth has been tarnished by her devotion to the She Witch.

See, this is why I adore you.
stoney321
Jul. 2nd, 2005 05:38 am (UTC)
Hooray! I'm adored! *preens*
viciouswishes
Jul. 1st, 2005 05:49 pm (UTC)
You killed me with the Whitesnake tribute band. Also love the lasso of truth reference. Excellent.
stoney321
Jul. 2nd, 2005 05:39 am (UTC)
lml ^_^ lml
lame rockers unite!

Yay!! I'm glad you liked it.
paynbow
Jul. 2nd, 2005 01:55 am (UTC)
I LOVE the Trio! Hooray! I've been on a big Trio (or Andrew, at least) kick in my fic. Writing him, reading him . . .

"But you're allergic to things covering your eyes."

This made me stifle giggles so as to not wake up the roomies. I love it!
stoney321
Jul. 2nd, 2005 05:40 am (UTC)
That's one of my favorite nerd jokes. Because... come ON. [/Jimmy]

I love them too, and you're icon is making me giggle!
violethamster
Jul. 2nd, 2005 09:28 am (UTC)
Hee! You have the best Trio voices in the world. Too much funny to quote it all.

Sorry I'm running late on comments, this week's been hectic. I'm slowly catching up.
stoney321
Jul. 2nd, 2005 09:47 am (UTC)
I love the Trio so much... In fact, just posted a story a few minutes ago from Andrew's secret spiral of fan-fic. Because I would have fit into the Troika, um, except for the wanna-be evil bit.

I've missed you! I figured life was busy, but just know your little purple-furry icon and the humor that goes with it is missed around here.
( 41 comments — Leave a comment )

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Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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