Hello! If you're new around here, you'll need to read this.
1. I cuss, I try not to, but if you're sensitive to that, there's your warning.
2. I blog stream-of-conscious, generally, which means there will be typos on occasion. I ain't bovered.
3. I don't mind lurkers, random comments, etc. Feel free to chat it up with others.
4. Those Twilight/Sparkledammerung posts? They got HUGE. I no longer reply to comments there [well, sometimes I do] it's just too much to keep up with, sorry. But please enjoy, comment to others, etc.
5. I do try to reply to comments, but life (children, pets, my tush) take priority.
6. Come, go, reply, lurk, delist, I never mind.
7. I'm a former Master Gardener (I had to let my membership lapse, woe) and if you catch me at the right time, I love to help people enjoy their own gardens more. Feel free to ask questions, or for advice.
8. I've had my Spock mood theme for several years, now, and no, it's not shareable. Thanks for appreciating it, however. :)
9. Let this serve as your warning: you may need to not drink while you're reading. I am not responsible for replacing monitors or keyboards. ;)

I watched a movie last night that reminded me of a church lesson I had beaten into my head: "I am an 8 cow wife." Anyone know what I'm talking about here? For those not familiar, it's the Legend of Johnny Lingo, a film BYU produced in 1969, based on a short story from the early 60s. Given the culture of women at the time, it's offensive but is to be expected for the times (I'll tell the story under the cut). What is really crazy is that this was re-produced in 2004, and is still the most beloved LDS movie of all time, even more than Saturday's Warrior, which is my personal favorite because it's a birth-control musical, lol. NO, REALLY.

( Johnny Lingo validates women through livestock. It's a win-win. )

And just maybe I don't want to be worth any cows. I want to be worth Orcas! I AM A TWELVE ORCA WIFE, let it be known. Ha ha ha.

A reminder: Orcas are the bullies of the ocean. They're the Mean Girls of the Sea!

Oh, and this just reminded me of the story of the Hot Guy in Class that asked the "crippled" [the word they use] girl in a wheelchair to the Big Dance, and she can't believe it, because how could anyone in a wheelchair expect to do something normal, and it ended up being the best day of her life because someone paid attention to her. Once. WOW THIS CRAP IS SO BAD. (That story, and my commentary on it, is in my book, btw. *G*)

Thanks to arcana_j for this article about an upcoming storyline on Big Love and how the LDS church is balking at it. ( spoilers, obv. - mostly discussion about the Endowment Ceremony in the temple - long and detailed. )

It's frickin' freezing here today and rainy. I require more coffee and possibly some curry and rice-type dish. And naps. Mmmm, naps. I probably won't do any of that, but spend the day writing and revising. Maybe a hot chai? OOOH. Yes. *zooms to make some*

Thanks so much for all the funny and sweet comments on both my last post and the Valentine's Love Meme. I have some good friends out there. (I loved reading that post and seeing all the nice things people have to say about each other. It reminds me that not everyone's a nut job. Well, dovil is, but she can't help where she's from, bless her heart. Hee.)

1. I won't post any real spoilers for this past week's Big Love, but I will say that my jaw DROPPED when the C-story line with the "papers" that the Good Mormon Brother In Law wanted to collect from the Juniper Creek folks started. Guys, that stuff really happened. It was a HUGE black eye for the LDS church. Now, they just threw that info in the background to get the B-plot moving, but if they keep it up, that's the Mark Hoffman Salamander Papers story. ( long disccussion on this - my dad was a lecturer with the Sunstone circuit at the time which.... CLICK! )

2. I'm not some 50s haus frau that longs to have the Pod Kitchen of Tomorrow (except for how freaking cool would that be? hahaha, that was one of my all-time fave Tex Avery shorts.) where you just add water or shove your dishes into a glass box in the counter and out comes a turkey dinner with all the trimmings, but I have been the happiest of haus fraus since Sunday. My in laws loaned me their industrial steam cleaner, and I have been going crazy with the cleaning. Oh my god, my floors are so clean you could have a baby on them. But don't, because that's a big mess. Today I'm going to use the grout attachment and go crazy nuts. Sterile environment! Pristine showers! No filth from my children present anywhere! Well, until they all track it in again, but still! THE WAVE OF THE FUTURE IS STEAM. Ahahaha. It's going to be so sparkling you'll think Billy Mays has been shouting the filth away.

3. I've scheduled my nasal surgery for next Monday and I'm stoked! They're going to inflate my coffee-straw sized sinuses with balloons, they're going to cut my septum up and fix that, and they're going to kit me up with loads of drugs. Life is going to be SWEET. And painful. But hey, I've passed two kidney stones, broken my knee cap, and had natural child birth. Bring it on, yo.

4. I have my SXSW film badge, I have my hotel booked, and I have a four day vacation complete with movie premiere coming up in mid-March. \o/ Let's hope the swelling has gone down by a month from now. :D

5. I've started watching Oz from the beginning, and holy crap, I never ever ever want to go to prison. That should be required viewing for every teenage boy on earth. "Want to be someone's bitch and wear mesh? DO YOU?" No one should be forced to wear a mesh top. That's inhumane. And I just finished S1 and ALBY is a prison guard? The wheel keeps on turning and turning and turning and... nothing's disturbing the way it goes around... (see what I did there? *G*)

For fun check the similarities. (And who caught McPoyle as the priest on House? I love Jimmi Simpson, the poor man's Spader.)

I know that not everyone that reads this LJ reads my Mormon blog (0hmyheck, but for those wanting some information/more insight into the recent travesty that is the passing of Prop 8 and the Mormon Church connection, I posted about that very thing here and also here, including links to the Church's original plan to stump this back in 1997.

In case you're new, I'm a former devout Mormon from one of the oldest Mormon families, a former Gospel Doctrine teacher (for three years) and I'm sorry if you're LDS and thinking I'm attacking you. I'm attacking the religion, not people. The passing of Prop 8 is an absolute travesty. Walk in someone else's shoes, would ya? *dives back into NaNo*

I just got back from the grocery store.  As I was loading the back of my vehicle, a guy on a bike wearing a white shirt, tie, and dress pants approached offering to help.  I smirked, (I only had two jugs of milk.  Um, I got it, Slick.) and said, "No, thanks."

Thick Utah Accent: Ma'am?  Can I share something with you that has left my life blessed?
Me: (more smiling) No, I know you're Mormon, though.
TUA: Really?  How's that?
Me: My family's Mormon.
TUA: And you're not?
Me: Not anymore, nope.
TUA: Can I ask you why?
Me: (checking my watch.  5 minutes until the kids get home. wondering if I can explain "because it's all made up? Because the founder was a liar and pedophile? Because I'm anti-cult?" and still get out of there in time for the kids.)  No, but you have a great day!  (shuts door)
TUA: (sad face)  But-

...I actually have a printed off copy of my manuscript in my car right now.  Do you know how tempting it was to hand it over to him, a big goofy picture of two other missionaries beaming back?  Time was my enemy today, folks.

I'm surprised I'm not bald yet, from all the hair tearing I'm doing. ( FLDS/YFZ Ranch talk for those interested )

Let's be clear: religious freedom does not supersede basic human rights. It does not override the basic (AND FIRST) principle of the United States of America, that being the freedom to life, LIBERTY and the pursuit of happiness. How can you know happiness if you live in a cave of fear and lies? When you're not allowed beyond the "sacred" doors of your cave? When you're threatened with "eternal damnation" - which, let me explain how it's different in the Mormon/Fundy religion. It's not Hell with Satan torturing your soul, it's being cast into Outer Darkness. Or rather, your soul is destroyed, horrors! *eye roll* Freaking religion. Anyway. Back to the rant. ( And now the poor mothers - who only have sons, let me make that clear - are crying about how poorly their babies are being treated by CPS. Not true, one, and maybe you shouldn't have FLAGRANTLY BROKEN THE LAW, two. )

(which is me, or at least, I'm determined to be very busy today.) I was pretty amazed by my hit counter to see how many people went back to read my Mormon and Polygamy tags. (Maybe there is a market for this book after all...) Whoops, bullet points!

• I watched a report last night on the YFZ ranch that shocked even me (and Carolyn Jessop and Dorothy Soloman, etc.) They had multiple beds lined up in a special room in their temple to consummate the marriages instantly. (More about this after the jump, for those curious)
• I know that some of you expressed frustration with not being able to do anything, and wanting to help in some way. Go H E R E to Texas' DFPS page and you'll find a list of ways to help the women and children. This is the largest case of this type in US History - there's bound to be some weirdness, and anything you can do to help (I'm pitching in, too) will help get these poor folks out of the mindset that they're cattle. (Keep in mind this is in the beginning stages - they're still trying to assess what all will be needed.)
• Keep in mind that these folks are old school - they'll work to feed themselves, clothe themselves. They'll just need the resources to get started. (And my hope is the mothers will get some job training to help them have tools to get out and stay out of this culture. FLDS: putting the Cult in Culture since 1840!)
• ION, I've been crutch-free for 36 hours and have a zombie-quality to my shambling about the house. (I should stop moaning and frightening the children, huh?) I plan on wearing an old fashioned, Jules Verne-esque diving helmet until I can walk correctly, to protect my precious brains from you ever-vigilant zombie-killers. (Are you ever-vigilant?! They could rise up at ANY MOMENT, zomg!!)

[ETA] This appears to be the original affidavit filed? I'm still reading it.
[ETA 2] I'm slow on the uptake. The reason they're taking names for volunteers is they are afraid that people that secretly left the compound will "volunteer" and ferry away wives and children. Makes sense. There's a hotline for people to call that may have lived there but left, too. Very smart. (1-800-252-5400.) Get an electronic collar on them. I love my home state, y'all.

( the F/LDS temple bidness... )

Long time readers of my polygamy rants (click here to read back-posts, or read my Mormon rants) are most likely NOT surprised by all the stories coming out since yesterday's release of the Gag Order on investigators to the Yearning For Zion Ranch in El Dorado, Texas. Did you read about the pre-teen girls being pregnant? What did I tell you two days ago? [Insert "I told you so" comment here.]

The thing that's upsetting me the most is that I feel in my bones that the original 16 year old girl that called in abuse is dead. (Let's hope she's just been banished to Bountiful, Canada and the Blackmore plyg clan.) Warren Jeffs originally had a high-temperature furnace installed on the property, with the instructions that it would burn hot enough to destroy DNA evidence. The original engineer of that furnace had this to say on the (apparently) secret blog of a former YFZ/FLDS member ( under the cut, and more rants and links for those interested. )

I bugged out yesterday to see a doc at the Texas Black Film Festival, a doc about Black Mormons. (Yes, they, like bi-sexuals, do exist!) I had no idea what the slant would be (every doc has one, there's no such thing as a neutral documentary.) ( Boy, that was and wasn't what I expected. )

I'm still sick to my stomach about it. (I have a lot of thoughts on this topic, but they'll get their own post another time. I mean, there is a lot to talk about with this.)

Oh!! And I had NO IDEA that ELDRIDGE FRAKING CLEAVER became a Mormon before he died. My mouth literally fell open and I gasped when she mentioned that. A Black Panther! BLACK PANTHER, A MORMON!!! Dude. WTF.

Felt sentimental today (the Prophet/President of the LDS church died, and I think the biggest jerk in that whole outfit will be their new leader. Nope, it's Monson, the second biggest jerk.) and did some genealogy at famhist.com and familysearch.org (the first being solely civilian/census run, the second site is the Mormon-run site) and found some MAJOR discrepancies.

( my history: let me show you it )

In other news, my husband and I are laughing about what we'll do with the "rebate/refund" check the gubment is issuing to all tax-paying citizens this Spring in hopes of fixing the economy through a spending spree. *eyeroll* We think the best way to say "screw you" to the current administration is to buy some Chinese stocks and convert the leftover money to Euros. Hahaha, stimulate the economy my ass. Tax the filthy rich, jerks.

This has been your Monday ramblings. I'm off to cut 186" long silk curtains for sewing. Pray for me. *G*

Warren Jeffs gets 5 to Life, will serve at least 10 years. It's a start. A super good start.

Something else to be thankful for this year. *beams* (If you have no idea why I'm so happy, hit any of the tags for this post.)

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE! (And sorry I missed the Canadian one. Wait, did I? Oh, well. Whoops!)

ETA: Oh my god, I missed this article. Huh. Trying to get sympathy so he wouldn't get a max sentence? Hmmm.

Warren Jeffs has (justly) been convicted of two counts of rape and is going to jail for a looong time. *pumps fist*

Under the cut are "doctrines" the Mormon Church STILL HAS in their "standard works," which the FLDS (Polygamists) run their "religion" by. This is what created the world that Warren Jeffs ruled. ( Shedding Blood of the Innocent/Multiple Wives )

And now everyone is a little more knowledgeable on the situation out there; maybe some change can happen. Like these women not remain their husbands' chattel.

Speaking of entitlement, (hee) the Warren Jeffs trial was underway yesterday, and they FINALLY convinced the Key Witness to get back in the game. (She was terrified and went underground for a bit.) I'm following this like it's the '69 Moon Landing. Um... that may be a bit of an exaggeration. (That link is for the Mormon owned paper in SLC. They've... got an interesting "I didn't do it!" stance. Which is laughable.)

I am sooooo tired today. Not even coffee is perking me up. I may call it quits already (it's barely 8am!) and crawl back to bed with a book. Mmmmm. I did some research into my family's history for the "memoir" about growing up in (and leaving) Mormonism, and found an interesting fact I hadn't known before about my dad's grandfather. ( family history, mormonism, how they relate, navel gazing, a picture under the cut. Possibly a Teal Deer post... )

Aaaaaanyway. I'm all over the map today, in other words. I've got some costuming things to take care of today. Last night was a production meeting with all the special effects guys and cinematographers, etc. and it really felt REAL. Up until now, it's felt like a play I'm in as we've just had the main core of actors rehearsing with the director and asst. director. REALLY EXCITED ABOUT THE MOVIE, zomg. Also, I am in possession of Nicholas Brendon's measurements. *buffs nails* Interesting to note that Mr. S has longer legs than him. He was happy to hear that. :D

Guys, this movie is REALLY FUNNY. The sets, budget, etc. may not be blockbuster Hollywood level, but the script and the actors are really REALLY good. I've got my fingers crossed.

Now, if one of y'all could send me some breakfast and some energy, that would be SWELL. *flop*

I realized that a lot of you watching Big Love might not get the second half of the opening sequence, and what all of that "sealing" nonsense was in the show last night. ( My former religion: Let Me Show You Them )

Today is underwear/shoes/paper and folder purchasing day. One week until school starts for us! \o/

Note to new flisters: I don't normally post more than once a day - I have fear issues re: spamming your flists - but today is a two parter. For I have Horse Soap Opera Fic, and lordy lordy, I've been so happy writing it. On to the other stuff!

( Big Love discussion - SPOILER HEAVY )

Happy Tuesday! Now to finish up some writing.

I was all prepared to go off on a Denis Miller-esque rant this morning, and then I flubbed while wearing my "Rocket Scientist" t-shirt (asked a grocer how much something cost when there was a massive sign overhead with the price. DERR.) and am laughing at myself too hard to be perturbed any more. But I will post a snarky poll under a cut to get my message across, because I enjoy the snark.

( If you feed a mouse a cookie... )

In other news, Big Love!! I have crazy love for that show, even though I think it's a misstep that the Henricksons don't wear garments. I mean, they WERE LDS, even though they've clearly gone off into fundamentalism. (Which is more common that you might think.) [ETA] WHAT THE HELL, LJ??? It just screwed up all that I wrote to the point that I have no idea what I was even TRYING to say. BAH. Show = good. I had issues with a few things that most people won't care about. WHATEVER. *grumpy as shit, now*

I just finished a re-telling of Dorothy Allred Solomon's memoir about growing up in a major polygamist family (her father was murdered by a rival "prophet") and I found it interesting how much she redacted in her second book. The original, "In My Father's House," was pulled from the shelves, incidentally. Taken out were her husband's experiment with polygamy after promising her to be monogamous, in addition to a bout of wife-swapping during the sexual revolution after Vietnam. *cough* She and her husband are active LDS members now, and I wonder if that has anything to do with her "remembering things correctly with the passage of time?" Uh huh. Also, the story itself is compelling, but the over-wrought imagery that all of these LDS (and ex-LDS) writers use wears me out. But the story is fascinating.

I have loads of writing I need to do today. This is both a good and bad thing. :) However, I did just fill my freezer with popcicles, so... Life is pretty sweet over all.

To say that I feel vindicated in a way is an understatement. (See?! I've been telling y'all all along about this stuff! I wasn't making it up! You CAN'T make it up!) I've also been grinding my teeth and headachy, bah. Those roots run deep. Another long discussion, feel free to question, comment, disagree, make paper hats. (For those unable to watch it, it is online at PBS.org here.)

( And it came to pass... )

Well, I hope you know I had a LOT to say about the PBS 2-parter, "The Mormons." Those of you that have read my other posts on Mormonism (and as a side topic, polygamy) and watched last night's show hopefully caught a lot of the topics I've gone on and on about. Go under the cut, grab a drink, hit the head, and settle in, it's not short. *g* (And if you missed it, it's going online at noon today.)

( 'We are a peculiar people.' ~Brigham Young. Well no shit. )

Part Two of this discussion is continued here.

First, I'm changing a little tracking detail in my LJ. Instead of changing colors for fonts to track my "health plan" I'll be inserting color bars. I know this means nothing to y'all, I'm just putting this out there in case you wonder what the Gay Pride pic is. :)

Now on to my rant. Aaaaaaaaaaaand commence to SCROLLING. Hahaha. While I'm terribly excited about Barak Obama potentially running for President (and the Dems have a woman and a Hispanic as contenders - go diversity!) I'm TERRIBLY WORRIED about Mitt Romney throwing his hat in the ring on the Republican side. Don't know who he is? Then clearly you're not from Massachusetts!

( Religion and Politics are a scary thing )

Continued from here. (And the last post today, swear.  Man, I'm spammy lately.  Sorry...)
( Am I the only one that thinks he looks like a Simpson's character? *shudders* )

I don't want to make some big political statement about Katrina. We all know (or should know) that the government failed the Delta. Again. From the city gov't to the feds. When I was there in June, there were still cars in trees. There were still houses upside down and four blocks away from their original foundations. Not much has changed. People can't come back without schools for their kids nor without hospitals operating.

So without getting off on a rant and getting upset, I'm just going to put some links out here if anyone is still thinking of contributing in any small way. It all helps. Operation Kindness is a NO-KILL shelter here in the DFW area that took in hundreds of abandoned cats and dogs from NoLa all the way to Gulfport. Some pups and cats are still in the shelter, waiting for adoption. That's over 10 months. (A few of the dogs were found locked in sheds, almost 2 months after the storm hit.) If you don't have the ability to adopt, they can take financial donations to help support medical treatment and living expenses for these animals. It's a great organization.

Without schools, New Orleans can't function. Only 20 schools remained standing of the original 120. Only three elementary schools are open for residents who have stuck around and are trying to rebuild New Orleans. They can use donations for school supplies, clean-up (there is toxic mold in some schools that needs to be eradicated), and teacher support. Warren Easton high school is a historical charter school in the center of NoLa, predominately black, and the only school in NoLa that received an excellence rating. (They also have a top-notch Special Education program.) They can use help, too. We all should know by now that Louisiana had some of the lowest rated schools in the US. The schools were woefully underfunded and supported. Any contribution that can go directly to the students is a boon.

A lot of people were worried about donation money being squandered. I remember last year hearing people complain about the Red Cross, etc. Here's a list of grassroots volunteer organizations, how to donate, and where your money is going. It includes direct assistance to people with HIV/AIDS, mold abatement, the Acadania Outreach Shelter (a great organization for abused women and children among other things), and direct rebuilding of homes and small businesses. That link will pretty much cover all small organizations seeking donations, and have all been checked for fraud.

I swear, if I see Bush smiling and saying it's a job accomplished today, I'll scream. I'm grateful to all of the faith based organizations that did FEMA's work for them. It's no excuse, Bush. 2 more years, people, and he's gone.

[ETA] OFF TOPIC, BUT OH MY GOD!! Warren Jeffs - polygamist leader the Big Love "Rulon" is modeled after - has been taken into custody!! I'll be watching this story like a HAWK. ( And updating under a cut for those who don't care )

In case you didn't see on the news two days ago, Warren Jeffs, the leader of the largest faction of polygamists in the US is now on the FBI's top 10 Most Wanted list. This is who the Roman character (Harry Dean Stanton) on Big Love is based on.

Here's a news clip about him, with an audio clip of him preaching. kita0610? You asked a while back if they were like the Taliban. Well, they don't make them cover their faces, but it's pretty close. Nice racist remarks in that clip, too. Here's an article about him in the Salt Lake Tribune. 14th paragraph: see how he treats his wife publicly. There's also an entire section in the SLC paper devoted to polygamy. (There's an inset on the right with the locals' reactions to HBO's Big Love.)

I wonder if they'll work in the exile of Warren Jeffs. They have the real estate business in the show, which in RL is Jeffs' purchase of thousands of acres in Texas and South Dakota. Hmmm.

You're scrolling aren't you? Not even going to try- Oh. Hey. Good morning! Day 7 of my Avoiding Reality Tour. Watched HBO polygamy satire last night, had to chew on it for a while before I decided ( something revealed under the LJ cut because I am EVOL )

( ENRON. Holy crap I STILL get angry over this. )

But seriously, I'm not angry today, so don't reply with "breathe" or anything like that. I will look at you askance. Heh. Now I wait for the fog to lift so I can go exercise...

[ETA]: Oooh! poshcat sent me an ecard that made me laugh! YES! I WILL HAVE A HAPPY SUNNY DAY. (I seriously love the animation, Posh. Keeeyoot.)

Okay, not entirely, but... I'm getting ahead of myself. Anybody catch HBO's hilarious! and satirical! and sexy! show about "Mormon" Polygamy? Hahaha! Because it's all that, and more! Lemme be upfront with definitions, so I don't get a lynch mob after me:

POLYANDRY/POLYAMOROUS relationship: brought about by a group of people interested in forging a relationship due to love, sex, admiration, large house and sturdy sheets. I have no problems with this. You're grownups, have at it, and take a multi-vitamin. What, you don't need a B Complex? You'll thank me later.

"MORMON" POLYGAMY: relationship brought about because "God" or the "prophet" has told this man to marry such and such women. Women have no property, no title, no worth other than to bring about a Righteous Dominion on Earth, and can be taken and passed around should the husband do something displeasing. This begins as soon as a girl is capable of menstruating.

( Women Have No Power, Voice, Say, LIFE. )

*I say "Mormon" polygamy, because they outlawed it publicly in 1892. Although the President John Taylor did pull men aside and told them to practice in secret. I know this because my Great-great Uncle was one of those men, and if there's one thing Mormons know, it's genealogy and to keep a record. The LDS church excommunicates for the practice today.