Laura Stone (stoney321) wrote,
Laura Stone
stoney321

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Because FIRST and FOREMOST my gee dee mission is to bring the funny.

OOOOOH! It's already been BROUGHTEN!
Exhibit A: McSweeny's: Bob Newhart tells The Aristocrats joke.

Exhibit B: McSweeny's: If Hagrid Worshipped Jesus instead of Harry Potter.

[ETA1] Exhibit C: The Onion, god bless 'em, tackles the Katrina issue. The use of "mosey" cracked me up for an hour.

Exhibit D: The Onion: Food Critic Tears Radish Canapes with Salmon Mousse a New Asshole. Again, it's the use of the phrase "skull fuck" that pleases me most.

And it has just been brought to my attention that some people are NOT turned on by Will Ferrell slash. What the fuck? *laughs until I puke* *feels really bad that you had to see me puke* Uh, Tiffany? Keep scrolling. Nothing to see here...

Off to have lunch with my dad - we'll probably argue politics, I'll tell him he's an ass, then we'll crack up over a joke and he'll get the bill. Ahhh... bliss. I love my dad.

[ETA2]: Someone really needs to make an icon with Anderson Cooper or such with the quote by "The Wolf" from Pulp Fiction: let's not start sucking each other's dicks yet, gentlemen. Just me?


So, because some people have serious squicks when it comes to what's attractive, I thought I'd take a bit of a departure and list what totally turns me right the fuck on. Wheeee!!

MEN:
1) Funny. Absolutely number one. Cannot abide an unfunny man.
2) Smart. Guh. Once got totally hot for a guy just watching him run his finger down a collumn of 6 digit numbers and add them up in his head. Shut it. Mmmmm. Math.
3) EYES. OH MY GOD. *points to husband with eyes of palest blue* Sue? Back me up on this. Thick eyelashes to go with intense color? SWOON.
4) Tight ass. *faints a little*
5) Loooong legs. Mr. S is one of the shorter men in my life at 6'... Long thigh bones, long arms, long torso, long... *cough*
6) FEET. (Vinnie,Tiff: scroll on.) Veiny, tendony, tanned narrow, groomed feet. Bony ankles. Standing in sand.
7) HANDS. Broad, rough, strong.

WOMEN:
1) hair. I love long, full hair on girls. I also LOVE LOVE LOVE it when girls can pull off the short, spikey do's.
2) nerdy glasses on a pretty face. Smart chicks rule!
3) girls who don't care about their appearance, yet look like a million bucks. You know who you are.
4) tiny ankles and hands. So delicate and feminine.
5) Lean, strong backs.
6) athletic girl bodies are by far more attractive to me than willowy/weak looking bodies. I appreciate WOMEN'S bodies more than girlie bodies, to be sure
7) long necks.
8) FUNNY WOMEN. Interesting that this is 8... Make this number one, okay? Too lazy to re-number.
9) smart women with BALLS that can tell assholes to shove it. Oooh, I like a woman with chutzpah.

Okay, I'll come up with a bunch more I'm sure... Tell me yours!
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