CONSIDER THIS YOUR LUCKY DAY.
Oh, and also I found funny links, and entrenous88 reminded me of Prom, and that made me think of Craig (my date) and how I broke up with him RIGHT BEFORE PROM, because I was a good Mormon girl and I was afraid he was going to touch my bewbies, and God wouldn't let me into heeeeeaaaaaven or something. And that makes me laugh because I WAS SO LAME!!! And now he owns his own gallery in NYC, and lives with the first guy I gave my "flower" to.
No. Absurdist humor isn't lost on me. Oh! And I watched the SNL ep with Christopher Walken and the Cowbell, and he says: Gentlemen, I'm just like you. I put my pants on one leg at a time. Except when my pants are on, I make gold records. And laughing is good. Laughing hard fixes what ails you.
So instead of bitching about my boy's school, or the lack of follow through, and how I almost scratched out the eyes of the principal, or thought about shipping the boy off to an island... I give you jokes. AT MY EXPENSE.
Embarassing things that have happened to me: wearing a wrap/mini-skirt to school on a windy day. And have britches with holes. And standing in front of a boy I liked.
Being cool and "running" -- I have this weird thing that if I was percieved as "athletic," boys would like me. I don't understand it either -- towards the bus, where the boy I was crushing on was standing, tripped, and landed on my face. Like, on gravel. SCORE!
Having my boyfriend's best friend ask me in the hallway at school in front of the entire soccer team if, "Michael is ever going to touch your tits, because what is the point?"
I spot a trend. Anyway, blah blah blah life blah blah blah parenting, and I'm a huge dork. But apparently I have touchable boobs. So I have that working for me. Which is nice.
~Signed, Lisa Loopner (anyone? anyone? Bueller?)