Laura Stone (stoney321) wrote,
Laura Stone

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OMG- So much that I am bursting at the SEAMS

That was me. Bursting. Okay, first off, in less than 45 hours I am boarding a plane to San Fransisco to meet up with dovil. I have my lawn darts, travel axe, and pickling lime ready to go! Called the hotel ahead of time and arranged for rose petals on the bed, oysters and champagne and strawberries to be delivered at our arrival, and ordered some hard core animal porn on pay per view. Oh, and I packed my fuzzy bunny slippers. And makeshift shiv. SHE WILL LOVE ME, OR ELSE. WHEEE!

That's a taste of my mood today. PLENTY OF TIME TO BAIL OUT, in three, two, one...

So I found a website that has a parody of the old "What's Happening To My Body?" PSAs from grade school. With Amy Sedaris voicing the Penis. Oh, lord, I love a funny woman. Kinda not work safe, but maybe you could pretend it really IS an educational film? Just be aware of that if you're at the office. The website is KITTENPANTS. DOT ORG. Naturally it made me think of poshcat - which, by the way, Posh? PWNED. Ya chicken. Hee! *pockets your damp panties*

Other things of horribly incorrectness: Paul and Frank really want you to know they aren't gay. As Frank pounds Paul in the ass. TO PROVE IT. HAHAHA! Oh, gracious. That's from The BS Squad's website, full of wrongness. Not all are gems, but there's some good ones.

Let me now prove I'm not some 12 year old... Watched Valmont last night. Great googily moogily, does Colin Firth have some long, lean legs. The mullet (oh, sorry - "period hairstyle") is INCREDIBLY distracting. Probably due to the perfectly seperated "barrel bangs" -BUT. If you haven't seen the movie, fast forward to the scene where he is instructing the young (and pre-cutting, black hair, freaked-out, Hollywood poster child for 90s goth) Fairuza Balk on writing a love letter, all while sliding his hands up the back of her thighs, over her garter, and making frickin' LOVE to her ripe bum. Good. Lord. Final shot, as she's lying on her stomach, pen in hand, all but forgotten, shocked (she's never been touched before), and he grabs her ankles, spreads her legs, and lays between them. *passes right the hell out* And he looks SOOOO GOOD on that horse with thigh high boots. *bites knuckle* Yeah, I'm a stereotypical Texan. Put a man on a horse and I'll all but scream out his name and light a smoke. I may need to see Brokeback Mountain alone. Ahem. The movie drags a bit, and Milos Forman, who makes BEAUTIFUL movies to look at, seems to be a bit too in love with his own attention to detail, to his lavish sets... A little faster pacing would help, and I have to say: Annette Benning should stay on stage. Her delivery is too stilted and choreographed to translate well on screen. It was driving me nuts. Stage acting and film acting are COMPLETELY different animals. But my husband is seriously in love with her, so I endure. isn't that weird? Is she hot? Weirdo.

All in all, Dangerous Liasons is a better movie and better adaption of the original piece, but for the love of god: Glenn Close! I'd watch her read the paper. John Malkovich is better on stage than on film, IMO, for the same thing as Annette Benning, but he's a bit more subdued in that movie.

Quick updates in bullet format:

  • Kid is doing great, for those who have been keeping track. Got very Mama Bear with the school administration, got them to listen to me, and surprise - the boy is flourishing these past two days. Imagine that... a mother who knows her child.

  • crazydiamondsue has my contact info should my plane go down in flames and you want to form a queue to "comfort" Mr. Stoney. dlgood and phfeenikz? This does not include you. Unless you get him reeeeally drunk. And knock him over the head. I think.

  • I am absolutely bouncing in my chair with pent up excitement for this weekend! Wheeee!

  • I will be talking like a New Zealander within one minute of meeting Dovil. I can't help it. I'm a voice chameleon. If my body washes up at the pier, blame the bad impersonation

  • there is no point to this bullet

You should stop what you're doing RIGHT NOW and dance around your office. Pick your own tune. I'm going to rock to old hip-hop. I blame sdwolfpup for the Shhkee-Lo reminder. EXCEPT THAT I LOVE HIP-HOP. And hard-core porn. Wait... No, no, that's right.

I TOLD YOU I WAS BURSTING! Haysoos, I even wrote MORMON THEMED SLASH earlier. I am so, so very broken inside. This is also your opportunity to take me off your flist, should you just be positively horrified at this point.

OKAY! I go run now. TOO MUCH ENERGY TO BE CONTAINED. Just look at Spock! his hed asplode from the joy! And today had BETTER BE the last day near 100. CRAP. I hate running in the heat...
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