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Neener Neener Neeeeeeener

I have something that NO ONE ELSE ON LJ has.

Yes, I cut her foot off, oh! I forgot! I harvested her kidneys too. Left her cooling on ice in the bathtub with a lovely thank you note. She's a real trooper. Actually... She's not. A real bee eye tea sea aitch. Heee! Guys, even I don't understand how I can still be hyper after this weekend. It all started on Friday...

*wavy lines of a flashback*

I had a late flight, and was worried about Dovil hanging out in the airport for a few hours after her trans-Pacific flight, so I got to DFW suuuuper earlier to see if I could switch. Good news: I did, bad news: I had to dump my heroin supply on a two year old and have the drug sniffing dogs alerted so I could take his seat. Which means that we weren't going to "party like it's 1999 or possibly even October of 2005." So I was a little disappointed, to say the least.

NO. Ahem. Got an earlier flight out on standby (whoo!), got a nice nap in on the plane (hoo!) and found my way to the International Terminal with ease, and waited outside of customs for dovil. I had colored a "DOVIL! The Angry Gay Cop Vampires Are Here!" sign, and stood at the doorway ready to pounce. Quick side note: many, many handsome men from Australia and New Zealand poured out and I almost left my life just to look and listen to them. GUH. About 20 of them were carrying their kyacks. Rugged, 6' 4", broad shoulders, weathered, handsome faces... and the accent. GAH. A pretty girl looked at me nervously and after a second I bounced, hollered DOVIL! And bear-hugged her, as is the Stoney way.

Side note: you know how you have an idea of how people's LJ names are pronounced? You're doing it wrong. It's DOOOO-vil. WHO. KNEW. DOOOOvil. From now on, I'd like you to note that mine is: STAHN-ooo-EEE. We found our way to the hotel shuttle, had an OBNOXIOUS elderly couple make disparaging remarks about Kiwis (!!) and I felt the need to make a comment about rude old people who are piss-poor ambassadors to the U.S. Welcome to my country. *headdesk*

After a bite of lunch we checked in to our hotel (lovely, thank you again, Mr. S) and got settled in. She brought me liquor! AND CHOCOLATE! Clearly, one of my liver lobes has her name on it, should the need arise. A phone call to _divya_ to arrange a meet-up, and we settled in for a good bout of bare-knuckle boxing. SOMEONE had to be the alpha-dog in the room. I made sure to give her two black eyes so she'd be balanced in appearance. I'm nice like that.

For those of you who have met folks off LJ, you know how it takes a bit to get comfortable with a new person? To get the rhythm of their speak, their comfort level, etc? It takes a bit for you to drop your defenses, and be relaxed? Well, apparently, Dovil has no inhibitions and was able to just get completely naked right there and start yodeling. Which was odd at first, but became incredibly soothing when she began her rhythmic gymnastics. D? Moves like a CAT. Simply grace personified.

Can you tell we had fun??? She's just LOVELY! A very handsome girl, chestnut hair in a cute, flippy hair style, blue eyes to rival James Marsters, gorgeous, warm smile - you see it a lot - and is the sort that becomes more handsome with age. Did I mention funny? And a QUIET voice. Seriously. I asked her to repeat herself a bunch (sorry! You're so demure!). Clever, friendly, ready for anything... Basically: she's perfect.

_divya_ met us outside the hotel and we tooled over to her fave little bar and proceeded to drink. And gab. And giggle. And I couldn't help it, but Di has hair to her WAIST! I couldn't stand it anymore, so I informed her I would be touching it. Ha! And. I. Did. Di: she's wee!!! Okay, not Wee!Spike proportions, but petite and thin limbed and long necked and haired... Huh? Yeah. GORGEOUS smile - huge! Light up the room smile! But filled to the brim with the rich taste of snark. Lurvely. Great sense of humor. We headed back to the hotel after I had... 5 Cosmos? I think. Then drank this concotion Dovil had with (okay, confession time: I bought the wrong kind of coke as we left the bar: Cherry Coke. I will blame this, later.) a special vodka from New Zealand, infused with Feijoa? Let's just say that THAT, mixed with cherry Coke, on top of several Cosmos, three hours sleep, and no dinner...

Oh! Let's go eat. Three buzzed women stumble into Lori's Diner (give her the American experience, yeah?) And I proceed straight to the bathroom and throw up. Oh, dear god. I've done the unspeakable. I... oh god. Sooooo embarrased. PUBLIC! In front of people!! Although, at a later time, while talking to crazydiamondsue on the phone, it was said that I had an Audrey Hepburn-quality about my gracefully sinking to my knees and taking care of business. kill me now.

Dovil (are you saying doooovil?) is the girl that held my hair. And put a glass of water next to the bed. And a trashbin. *is shamed to BONES* But. My constitution is strong, and after a good night's sleep and a shower and bleach... Right as rain in the morning.

Full day of wandering about San Francisco. Walked from Union Square to Fisherman's warf, saw all of the tourists spots, ate good food, laughed, heard about her father's stint as a zoo keeper (she's snuggled a baby orangutan!!) and just thoroughly enjoyed myself. One strange thing about the tourist section of SF: STATUARY. As in, to be purchased. Every 20 feet was a store selling statues. The hell?? Especially the Three Leaping Dolphins. With spouts for what we foolishly believed was for water, but after talking it out, realised they were secret gun turrets. EXCELLENT security device, I'd say. After seeing all of the Fine Art Shops along the wharf with Leaping Dolphins... if a museum doesn't have the gun-fish, I'm frankly not interested.

That night we met up with _divya_ again to see a comedy act. AHAHAHAHA!!! Dana Gould, of The Simpsons and stand-up fame, and Paul Provenza of The Aristocrats, performed. Dana Gould got off one of the best jokes I've heard in a long time, about moving to SF, and his New England father threatening him if he "turned gay." Good lord. D and I were cracking up over that one up until I left back home on Sunday. We walked home from the club, happy, laughing, and Divya gave us an excellent tour of her town. Hung out a little in the hotel room - watched Saturday Night Live (Dovil has never seen it! I'm glad it had some funny bits) - then time for sleeeeeeeep.

Most of Sunday was spent with Dovil and I curled up in our comfy beds laughing about fandom, squicks, remembering all the things that made us cry in Angel and Buffy, etc. etc. We did outline a story we're thinking of writing together when she gets home at the end of the week. I'll just say it involved sea horses and leave it at that. It'll be a heartwarming story of two plucky little vampire-sea horses in love. Illustrated, of course. I don't know when I've laughed so hard. SHE IS MY MUSE!!! And I just used a word I loathe. SHE IS MY INSPIRATION! Not unlike Jesus. Or a carrot dangled in front of me.

Quick wander about SF one last time, a little graffiti (we did! We wrote Stoney Puked Here - dovil's, and Dovil Was Here! - me - on a construction panel. She even drew a little pool of sick. Nice. Good lord, bitch. She's just AWFUL. AWFUL!!! Hahaha.) and then the shuttle whisked me to the airport.

It was just a fantastic trip, and I'm saying, "brilliant!" all the time now, a la D. Weather was FANTASTIC, the homeless were in full force, and the smell of piss was heartwarming. Ah, San Frannigan... I ♥ you.

Once she gets back home, and I get final approval on pics, I'll post them. I'm just that kind of friend. :-D HI!!! How are all of you????


( 43 comments — Leave a comment )
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Oct. 3rd, 2005 06:56 am (UTC)
SOMEONE had to be the alpha-dog in the room. I made sure to give her two black eyes so she'd be balanced in appearance. I'm nice like that.

You are so Angelus OMG. *fears you, yet laughs behind your back*

You are funny funny funny. Great report. I felt like I was there with Dovil, holding your hair. Can't wait to read about the seahorses!
Oct. 3rd, 2005 07:23 am (UTC)
WE HAD SO MUCH FUN!!! I wasn't sure if that was coming through... :-D

LYNNE!! You were specifically mentioned, smiles and coos followed. And even though Doo-vil (making sure you don't revert back) is a bit taller than me, she is the Spike to my Angelus in that not even a little bit way.

What? I am STILL giddy. Hi!!! *hugs you all over, and I DO mean ALL OVER*
... - lynnenne - Oct. 3rd, 2005 09:44 am (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Oct. 3rd, 2005 09:47 am (UTC) - Expand
Oct. 3rd, 2005 06:59 am (UTC)
And Spike would so make a great seahorse.
Oct. 3rd, 2005 07:24 am (UTC)
He would make the most LOVELY seahorse in the ocean! With slicked-back bleached hair!

Aw... *pets the pretty seahorse listening to Johnny Rotten*
Oct. 3rd, 2005 07:21 am (UTC)

I *so* want to party with you someday, babe. And isn't Di just the bestest? So glad you had a wonderful time and so very, very glad you're back home, safe and somewhat sound.

Oct. 3rd, 2005 07:25 am (UTC)
If by sound you mean all my limbs, yes. Brain? Not a chance.

Di is terrific! *loves the WOILD*

*massages oils into your feet, cooks you on medium* Mmm, mmm. Tasty.
Oct. 3rd, 2005 07:48 am (UTC)
Stoney, if you didn't have Mr. Stoney, and I didn't have hellbob (and that affair that I will have with teh Marsters) I would so marry you in a heartbeat just for your LJ cut tag text!
Sounds like a fabulous weekend!
Now stick around here to amuse us instead of running back to your celebrity crack!
Oct. 3rd, 2005 08:06 am (UTC)
I LOVE THE CUT TAG TEXT. Soooo many opportunities to lure people into DOOM.

We had a great time, I'm still happy and bouncy as I type!

(And I promise to do both. JEEZ.) :-D
Oct. 3rd, 2005 07:54 am (UTC)
Yahooo! Stoney and Dovil take on San Fran and the city survives! WHEE.

And you had a fab time. Brilliant.

Re: sidenote. I always hear your name with a brogue when I read it. Kinda sounds line "stern eee" Heeee. Doooovil.

I am good, wonderful and all that. *hugs you* Welcome back, intrepid traveller.
Oct. 3rd, 2005 08:05 am (UTC)
Hee!! I can talk with a Brogue! Di and Dooooovil got a taste of it. I taped them to chairs and did impressions until their minds snapped.

It was easier to make them go where I wanted that way.

I am glad you are well! LIFE IS FINE. *beams and figgin' HUGS you*

(my maiden name is Featherstone, so that's where "Stoney" comes from, FYI. The Brits I know proniunced it: Featherstun. But I'm Texan, so add a tiny drawl: Stoeh-nee. But I think I like your way better! Ach! Sure and beggorah! I dinna ken there were so many ways to say it!)
... - allegraconbrio - Oct. 3rd, 2005 10:02 am (UTC) - Expand
Oct. 3rd, 2005 08:05 am (UTC)
I'm glad you had so much fun! Cant wait to see the pictures, :)
Oct. 3rd, 2005 08:34 am (UTC)
I did! WHEEEE!!!

*waits for Dovil to get to a computer so I can get approval....*
... - serenelystrange - Oct. 3rd, 2005 01:33 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
Oct. 3rd, 2005 08:33 am (UTC)
Cherry Coke. With special infused flavored vodka. WRONG. That is not "two great tastes that taste great together."

Hugh Grant? Were you stuttering? Was your shirt wet?
Oct. 3rd, 2005 08:39 am (UTC)
That sounds faaaaaaaaabulous! Especially the puking part! ;)
Oct. 3rd, 2005 08:42 am (UTC)
Oh, god. See? THIS. This is why you don't partake, yis?

(i don't throw up! I barely get DRUNK! Seriously. FLUKE. A puke fluke.)

Aside from that, the city was wonderful, the friends were divine, and I had excellent and affordable sushi, as well as other foodstuffs. And friends! And comfortable lodging! All good. (Minus one. Hee!)

YOU ARE ALMOST GONE! Holy crap, are you starting to freak out about your big trip? Ready to go? Everything you need??? *is living vicariously through you*
... - marlo - Oct. 3rd, 2005 08:54 am (UTC) - Expand
Oct. 3rd, 2005 09:46 am (UTC)
When do we get the real report, you drunken sod???
Oct. 3rd, 2005 09:47 am (UTC)

There was - shockingly - no jail time.

Ah, there's always my future trip to New Zealand...
... - kaydee23 - Oct. 3rd, 2005 10:02 am (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Oct. 3rd, 2005 10:07 am (UTC) - Expand
... - kaydee23 - Oct. 3rd, 2005 11:08 am (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Oct. 3rd, 2005 11:12 am (UTC) - Expand
... - kaydee23 - Oct. 3rd, 2005 11:44 am (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
Oct. 3rd, 2005 10:08 am (UTC)
Heee! Oh, we had so much fun. Such a great city, it's hard not to enjoy yourself, you know?

*dances you*
Oct. 3rd, 2005 10:48 am (UTC)
sounds awesome!

seriously, though, how can two people as funny as the two of you need to go to a COMEDY SHOW. Did the room just spontaneously combust from the funny?
Oct. 3rd, 2005 11:13 am (UTC)
Heee! Oh, man, Dana Gould was hilarious. His set was just perfect, start to finish.

We were rolling in our seats. GOOD TIMES.
Oct. 3rd, 2005 12:11 pm (UTC)
LMAO...that sounds like you had the greatest time!! (and don't worry about the vomit thing, you have no idea how used it us kiwis are) and please send the cute guys back...cause I can't find them!!
Oct. 3rd, 2005 01:12 pm (UTC)
HAHAHAHA!! That is EXACTLY what she said.

I cannot stress how gorgeous these 20 men (20!! All beautiful and rugged with KYACKS!) were.

Weak-kneed, in the literal sense. *hoards*
Oct. 3rd, 2005 12:26 pm (UTC)
Bwah! *loffs on you and Dooovil* Is it seriously pronounced like that? And are you honestly a STAHN-ooo-EEE? Heee.

Because I, my good woman, am a Juh-LIS-AH. *g*

OMG, post the pics soon so I can point and laugh and cackle madly, 'k?

Oct. 3rd, 2005 01:13 pm (UTC)
POINT AND LAUGH?? Ahem. We are quite lovely, and did not take any pictures of drunken revelry, I thank you.

Oh, I was joking about my name. Stoh-ney. Like a stone. Eee.

Oct. 3rd, 2005 01:01 pm (UTC)
Sounds wonderful. Glad you two had a good time, looking forward to the pics.
Can't beat vomit for a bonding experience...
Oct. 3rd, 2005 01:14 pm (UTC)
*hides under desk*

Not my preferred bonding experience... Fortunatly the rest of the visit was terrific and fun. She's just wonderful to talk and hang out with. And _divya_ is hilarious and snarky. GOOD TIMES.
Oct. 3rd, 2005 01:24 pm (UTC)
Okay, reading this was the best flashback EVER. Your recollections are scarily accurate; Dooooo-vil is perfect, and I am snarky and wee! ::rides in your pocket::

::pets:: You were so sweet and unnecessarily apologetic about being sick! And omg, we totally just felt so badly for you, because you were clearly not drunk, and the universe MOCKED you by taking you straight from YAY to OMG SICK. It's not right, honey!

And in conclusion, "if ya gonna come back quee-ah, don't come back at all".

Oct. 3rd, 2005 02:07 pm (UTC)
Eeee!! *buys a celebrity dog-carrier - sticks you in and feeds you treats* You, my dear, are. A. DELIGHT. [/James Lipton] SCRUMTRILESCENT.

And thank you! I wasn't drunk! SERIOUSLY! I just... my body hit the Red Reject Button. Dude. *cowers*

And Hahahahahahaha!! *cries, pumps three cocks into my mouth, fondles balls randomly, pumps middle finger up and in* HEE HEE!!!
... - _divya_ - Oct. 3rd, 2005 02:46 pm (UTC) - Expand
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( 43 comments — Leave a comment )


Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

Time Wot It Is

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