We need to be more flowery in our fandom! Are you just gonna sit there and let the 14 year olds write the cutting/anorexia/song-fics about wereflamingoes and Ron Weasley and KICK OUR FANDOM'S ASSES??? Puh. You all shame me.
I am not poking fun at any particular author. Any person. Okay, I'm totally mocking YOU, and you know it. No, not you, YOU. Yeah, YOU. Okay. Summaries. Meant to lure someone in to read your work of art. A "dust jacket cover" online. SHOULD be enticing. Should NOT have spelling or grammatical errors. Or, in an ideal world, THREATS.
Let us begin.
I would like to make the official statement that "LOL" does not belong in a summary. Nor do emoticons. And SEQUEL is spelled that way. DEFINITELY has no "A." All were taken from the early days at FF.net, lifted as presented, all spelin erahs belon g 2 teh authores.
- "F*ck you and your cat." Comedy. And...smut.
- "Cave Giles" Just read the title.
- "The Story of B" The communication was wiped clean in TR, then smashed, wrecked, gone, put through a doublemeat grinder & turned in a dead thing.
- Ever just wanna hurt morons?
- Slashy Cinderella. Almost makes you tremble, doesn't it?
- Xander thinks, maybe he shouldn't.
- Total PWP. It's got cheesy lines. I couldn't help it.
- Dru sneaks into Angel's room to fu-fill a fantasy.
- Xander waits for the inevitable. *includes rape*
- They tell me to warn you so yes, there's a character death. Funny enough, it's not angsty.
- I suck at these! What can I say about this fic? Things get interesting.
- Werewolves are good.
- It's all fun and games being a glamorous girl. *self mutilation*
- More Spuffy because it's wrong.
- A "Sailor Moon" crossover best described at "Just Wrong" warning: tentacles
- AU Buffy *slash* f/f Cordy/baby
- Plot? Ok.
- A short little fic that explains... hey read the fic!
- A humorous fanfiction, featuring more Xander than some people might be able to stomach.
- Buffy battles the evil cafeteria soup.
- Its what he does
- Um, just read it.
- Buffy reflects on... :)
- Angel says goodbye. Really short.
- Don't judge me.
- Wen 2 vampires, a prophet and a shy hacker's lives collide - the story of a lifetime begins...
- It's Willow-centric and too short for a summary.
- The adventures of a gay man (Forrest) and a lesbian (Riley)
- This is slightly depressing... and my friend is threatening to kill me if I don't put it up.
- This ain't your daddy's shipper fic (stoney: won't SOMEONE make this an icon for us all????)
- The final one!!!! OR IS IT?????
- I hate doing summaries.
- What if Xander knew something?
- Buffy fights the Taco Bell Chihuahua, then explodes.
- Death is quick. A short fic.
- Another strange story, for the Spike lovers... and the strange things lovers :-p
- Xander gets tortured. warning: humor
- This is a first person sulking fic (me again: icon. sooo many possibilities with this.)
- This is a crossover but not as horrible as you'd think
- Uh, yeah.
- The titttle pretty much summs it up just read "Buffy Litttle Dairy Rant"
- It's a very weird story about things that could happen!!!!
- The reader has to guess what character is involved.
- Willow's dreaming...and sleeping
- The Scoobies Learn Too Late why you never, ever mix a chalupa and a Supreme Burrito
- What will happen when the wobbly desert meets the Hellmouth? Read all about it in this story! you will be amazed (or maybe you'll just be bored) at this tale of love, hate, and most of all...Jell-O!
- Character death...and irony.
- Willow and Giles get married in a Judeo-Pagan.Anglican ceremony
- A combination of comedy, martail arts style action and poigient moments, some of which fans might get on my case for considering what happens to some of the characters!!!!
- I'd like to know if this works or if I'm full of it.
- Buffy finds herself alone. Literally!
- Main entry: Effulgence - Late Latin effugentia, from Latin effulgent - effulgens, present participle of effulgEre to shine forth, from ex- + fulgEre to shine - more at FULGENT. Brilliant splendor, radiance.
- The story's finaly over...YAY!!!
- Dru has a bittersweet holiday. Buffy/Whoever you decide
- Rated PG-13 for bad poetry.
- I am dawn's raging bile duct. I am Dawns' smirking revenge. (me: little tear. on my cheek. so, so very happy.)
- Someone reflects on their relationship with... someone else! There ya go.
- I apologize for the cruddy title. Anyway this is a fanfic about something Spike would do. Maybe.
- Slash, duh, but clean.
- Spike gets runover by a steamroller and lives! Some mildly offensive words like you wouldn't say around the principal.
- Let's pretend that Buffy's alive and well. And then, let's pretend that she's not.
- This story is pretty much dead... I didn't get enough reviews to persuade me to continue writing it.
- This one is really stupid. Oh, and no flames.
- A fic about me and Xander and my blue talking lizards. Why I try not to drnk Mountain Dew late at night anymore.
- A series of disconnected stories made up entirely of sound effects. (me: this may be my most favorite thing ever in the history of MAN)
- Angel is acting suicidal and deals with issues of depression, but not in a deep way.
- What if a vampire wanted the holy Sacrament...on thing could happen...and then again...not!
- Lindsey McDonald is being brainwashed by the hot dogs! Actually it's more complicated that that.
- Okie, this is a bit confusing, but I think it's sorta food, lmk Raegan has real issues w/ everything you know?
- Angel has thoughts. Could I be more vague? (me: I didn't realize Chanandler Bing was writing fanfic. And the answer is, OF COURSE you can be more vague: Words. Maybe.)
- Please don't ask.
- LA is like, nowhere.
- The author finds a creative use for all those "flames."
- The year is 1755; Rupert Giles is the Duke of Wellington. His King and Best Friend is William Penning of England. Elizabeth Penning was promised to Rupert Giles at birth. Though she doesn't know this, eventually romance blossoms and whole buch of smut.
Well played, my Merchant-Ivory dreamer, well played. Now, I've only touched the tip of the iceberg here, and fankly, I'm a little disappointed. I wanted to find something like: "Wesly snapes and killz them all with a mashety and him and Soike ride the world killing and humping. warning: song-fic. A/N: based on "My Immortal" by evannesans omg.. *cuts*"
I'll of course keep you posted if I find this gem.
For any new folks popping in today... More gems can be found in memories. I do not condone person bashing - only mock the words. For they are glorious in mine sight.
[ETA]: Some icons are rolling in. mpoetess has some h e r e and mirielle719 has a great Xander one h e r e. Hooray! I'll link as they come in, or if you'll point me to them!
[ETA2]: I've put some up H e r e if you want some more. Whee!