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Shpringtime for MEEEEEEE! Ha, ha, Lynne!

Yes, Lynne, you were officially the first to mention Hitler in the Post That Wont Die. Although you were being FUNNY, ergo, it doesn't count. I've created a mathematical equation representing the effect of mocking as done by Nazis (is there anyone else who mocks, though? I mean really.), Snuff Films and Cancer when raised to the degree of half-wit:

MNfo(s - i) = S/C

M = Mocking
N = Nazism
f,o = fallacy multiplied by obfuscation
s, i = halfwit minus intellect
S = snuff film (in ratio with)
C = cancer

Now. you can solve for cancer types, or the quantitative sum of Nazis in a given thread by- No. No you can't. But I am STILL laughing over mocking causes cancer. And is equal to snuff films. And I made icons!!

1.Image hosting by Photobucket 2. Image hosting by Photobucket 3. Image hosting by Photobucket

Different version...
4. Image hosting by Photobucket 5. Image hosting by Photobucket 6. Image hosting by Photobucket

I overheard stultiloquentia say #6. #5 reads: "Und the verd ist shpelled: T- H- E." I have a 300 x 300 image of this on my desktop.

And seriously. There is no way in hell my ass can endure this chair long enough to reply to everyone that is STILL replying to that post. I'm a big believer in replying to every comment left in my LJ, but sometimes... Oh gimmie a break. So if you have posted and not heard from me, that's because I'm doing something ELSE. Away from there. Hats off to swmbo for keeping on with the robust debate, even though she was beating her head against a wall. Cheers, and again with the beaming at your skilz of a debator!

For the three who are still interested, I'll sum up my fantastic weekend with my best friend, who I don't get to see often enough. She's beautiful, funny, silly, and we laughed a lot. We mocked a lot. I immediately checked her into MD Anderson as a tumor grew on her face from the mocking. I kid! It was on her back. I am INCREDIBLY sore, as she is the Most Fit Human on Earth and pushes me to be in constant motion. TO HER CREDIT: she rubbed my knees and calves and I feel a thousand times better.

Until Saturday. I mean, she runs 8-10 miles every day for MAINTENANCE. In addition to working on a horse farm. And riding her bike every where. FIT. But she drinks Diet Coke, so I mocked her for that. And she punched me. I don't know why I'm still friends with her...

We met in college, both of us incredibly lonely and out of place in Utard. I mean Utah. She was born there, loves the desert, hates makeup and the race to "get a man," is quiet and thoughtful and funny and doesn't spend hours on her hair, and so she stuck out. I was mouthy, curvaceous (seriously, Mormon girls come in two sizes: stick thin or lumberjack), silly, boy crazy, and hated girls who's whole existence was to "get married." The locals didn't know what to do with me. A professor who was also a friend, told me he had someone for me to meet, and he'd take me to a restaurant to meet this mystery person that he knew I would "absolutely fall in love with." Chicky bow. It was Chrissy. Well, he was right.

Friday night we watched The Aristocrats together, with all of the deleted scenes from Bob Saget (He is honestly one of my most favorite stand ups. Soooooo wrong. Dana Gould is a close second.) Nothing is sacred, there are no boundaries. We can talk candidly about anything and everything. We have never argued in all the years we've known each other. We also made my husband sleep on the sofa. I forgot how fun it is to be tucked into a nice, warm bed and giggle on the pillow, struggling to stay awake and keep talking. We cried a little when I dropped her off. The kids moped all yesterday. She brings happiness and energy, and if I could murder her, grind her into a liquid and put her in a spray bottle to spritz her about the house, I wouldn't, because I think she would stain the walls. Not that murder is bad, mind you, and trust me when I say that she appreciates it wouldn't be to KILL her, but...

I just think she'd stain. Definitely clog up the sprayer nozzle.

In other news, my boy's birthday was Sunday. It was 75 degrees, blue skies, and I couldn't have asked for a more perfect day. Unless it started raining 100 dollar bills. Okay, I could have asked for a better day but I DIDN'T. So what does that say about me? I am AWESOME, that's what. Or really, really dumb. Can you ask for better days? Does that work?
Poll #663719 Better Days - Myth? Or Mreal?

If I had asked for a better day, would I have gotten it?

Yes! Man, are YOU stupid.
No, what are you, stupid?
I like mayonaise.
If I ground YOU up, I'd put you in a sprayer bottle.

I think I need to channel this energy into a run, so Chrissy doesn't watch me from On High and point because I am LAZY. And so? I exercise. *wanders off whistling*

(The icon for this post was made by yin_again for my son's b-day last year. Siiiigh. He's so teeny and perfect. Thanks again, Yin.)

[ETA]: I have changed my LJ name. Ahem.



( 47 comments — Leave a comment )
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Jan. 31st, 2006 06:34 am (UTC)
So stealing #4 and #6.

And hello? Mockery and sarcasm? Staples of the British sense of humour. *g*
Jan. 31st, 2006 06:43 am (UTC)
RIGHT!! I've got "All Things Dull and Ugly, All Creatures Short and Squat. Putrid, foul, and cancerous, The Lord God made the lot." In my head.

And how John Cleese said "fuck" at Graham Chapman's funeral, because to NOT have done so would have pissed GC off.


... - ruric - Jan. 31st, 2006 04:59 pm (UTC) - Expand
Jan. 31st, 2006 06:41 am (UTC)
Jan. 31st, 2006 06:41 am (UTC)
Also: One-worded replies are cool.
... - stoney321 - Jan. 31st, 2006 06:45 am (UTC) - Expand
... - cherusha - Jan. 31st, 2006 06:47 am (UTC) - Expand
Jan. 31st, 2006 06:47 am (UTC)

Chrissy sounds very cool, both as a person and as "happy energy" spray. Glad you had such a good time!
Jan. 31st, 2006 06:49 am (UTC)
If I could find a way to process her, mass produce her, and make a de-clogging sprayer, I would TOTALLY share her with you. AND THE WORLD.

Your icon makes me laugh and feel happy. Wheee!
(Deleted comment)
Jan. 31st, 2006 08:45 am (UTC)
HELLO. Airfare. I am a SPACE CADET. I'm looking right now. We have time, no panic. *panics* But we seriously have time. *seriously panics anyway*

My ears ache from the wind outside, Sue. BUT I KEPT ON! VINNIE!!! Oh, I miss our third.

Math for mocking is the best EVER. (Wal-mart? The hell?)
(Deleted comment)
... - stoney321 - Jan. 31st, 2006 02:26 pm (UTC) - Expand
Jan. 31st, 2006 07:04 am (UTC)
Oh that wacky Hitler. Glad you had such a fun weekend!
Jan. 31st, 2006 08:48 am (UTC)
Hitler is a LAUGH RIOT. Wait, no. Hitler is serious, as is LJ, zomg.
Jan. 31st, 2006 07:06 am (UTC)
- beautiful son!icon!!!
- Yay! how old is he now?
- Nazi!Mocking!Math!!! ::squish::
- now, die!post!die!!! only not because it's still a bit o'fun.
- I'm totally stealling a few of them icons.

::mocks you, like mad::

Jan. 31st, 2006 08:49 am (UTC)
Re: bullets!
OMG, you are going to get CANCER like a three year old! And then there will be more snuff films as a result. FOR SHAME.

Math mocking!! I want a prize for that. Like... chocolate. Can I get chocolate? But not gold coins chocolate, for it is FAUX chocolate and inferior, and I mock the chocolate coins.

My boy! He is 10. 10!!! I have a double digit boy now. I feel OLD, even though I am not. I'm 16.
Re: bullets! - marguerite_26 - Jan. 31st, 2006 10:17 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: bullets! - stoney321 - Jan. 31st, 2006 10:50 am (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
Jan. 31st, 2006 08:50 am (UTC)
haha!! MOCKING IS CONTAGIOUS. Like anthrax or whooping cough, so PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

I heart you, mi amiga! And I'll pass on the good wishes!
Jan. 31st, 2006 07:47 am (UTC)
Have swiped #2, and will, this week, honest, get folders for snarky icons and funeral dinner photos in my photobucket account, which tells you how THIS month has been going.

I need new friends; my closest RL friend took it upon herself to go ON about how badly the Mormon missionaries she met in Korea treated Peace Corps workers, to my daughter's Mormon boyfriend whose father did his mission in Korea. In the car. At the beginning of a trip to the Seattle Art Museum.

Oh, well, could have been over the luncheon table, I suppose.

Anyway: reading certain threads in the comments that will not end reinforces my belief that, while there are no limits to human stupidity, some people dedicate their lives to the search for them.

Julia, spent too much time yesterday squirting invading squirrels with the pressure sprayer. How do you think liquid Chrissy would work for that?
Jan. 31st, 2006 08:57 am (UTC)

Wow, to his FACE? Well, I have friends that are devout, but they can understand the absurdity of religion (aspects, at least) and can laugh at things, but... I'll assume this wasn't a similar scenario? YOW.

SNUFF FILMS. That was my first time to see that in a wank, so I feel pretty good about that.

As for Liquid Chrissy™ as a deterrant, I think no, and I'll tell you why: animals love her. The flock to her for she is the kind soul that fixes and loves every animal that comes near her, so it might actually act as a BAIT. And bring more. You should grind up my cat and spray that. But wait a bit. She's helping me with the bunny situation.
Jan. 31st, 2006 08:03 am (UTC)

I have no words. Well, except that this isn't the first time and it won't be the last but god, seriously, I have lots of WORDS but they're likely to alienate everybody right about now :p
Jan. 31st, 2006 08:58 am (UTC)

I like words. Words that make sense, especially. Just WOW.
Jan. 31st, 2006 08:07 am (UTC)
Loooooooooove the icons :-)
Jan. 31st, 2006 08:58 am (UTC)
Ha! Help yourself, if you feel so inclined.
Jan. 31st, 2006 08:52 am (UTC)
Jan. 31st, 2006 08:59 am (UTC)
Your icon makes me howl EVERY TIME.

in addition: you rock.

"You want to do my muuuuusical? Shrpingtime for Heetler?"
... - lynnenne - Jan. 31st, 2006 09:07 am (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Jan. 31st, 2006 09:15 am (UTC) - Expand
... - lynnenne - Feb. 1st, 2006 04:04 am (UTC) - Expand
... - lynnenne - Feb. 5th, 2006 08:58 am (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Feb. 5th, 2006 09:11 am (UTC) - Expand
... - lynnenne - Feb. 5th, 2006 09:31 am (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
Jan. 31st, 2006 02:29 pm (UTC)
Vielen Dank für Rufen mich vergnügt. Ich würde vier Pfund der Leberwurst bitte mögen.

I am post modern. I'm so post modern I've actually GONE BACK IN TIME. I am currently a serf on a fiefdom. It'd be great if someone would hurry up and invent wet-naps.
Jan. 31st, 2006 11:49 am (UTC)
Hey, we can be old together and braid each other's hair and, wait? Wrong post. My head is spinning from the math.

We could clone Chrissy? No? Not a good idea?

The boy is ten? And just think, he'll be a teenager soon. I'll pray for you now.
Jan. 31st, 2006 02:30 pm (UTC)
I KNOW. He called his aunt and said, "I'm a pre-teen now!" *siiiigh*

MATH IS YOUR FRIEND. It keeps planes in the sky! :D We should clone her. And make her have extra arms.
Jan. 31st, 2006 12:54 pm (UTC)
Happy Birthday to your son! The icons rock, your friend sounds like a blast and I'm glad you had such a wonderful time. And wheeee shiny new name which means now I HAVE been spelling it right all along - finally. :D
Jan. 31st, 2006 02:34 pm (UTC)
Your icon is awesome! If you don't think the maker minds, I'd like to link up to them in the original Gud Summries post. (Who did it?)

And yeah, Laura is spelled: G-O-N-G. It's confusing if you aren't fluent. (And she reminds me a lot of you, which is why I like you a bunch. You gonna be on YIM later? I'll be on, in case.)
... - fish_23 - Jan. 31st, 2006 02:51 pm (UTC) - Expand
Jan. 31st, 2006 02:05 pm (UTC)
Murder is bad?

Are you sure?

Really, really sure?

Jan. 31st, 2006 02:35 pm (UTC)
Well, I'm going to quote Perry Farrell on this one: "some people should die, that's just unconscious knowledge."

Also, I'm Texan, so we have our own thoughts on murder. :D
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( 47 comments — Leave a comment )


Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

Time Wot It Is

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