Laura Stone (stoney321) wrote,
Laura Stone
stoney321

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Jossverse Fandom and Kerfuffles in a Nutshell

I am so COMPLETELY QUALIFIED to explain this to the world at large. (format awkwardly gacked from the hilarious sarahtales and her HP summaries)



Jossverse Fandom and Kerfuffles in a Nutshell (Because if we can't laugh at ourselves, we should laugh at others.)

DAWN OF TIME: Glorious soundtrack! Leaping animals! Pristine!
GOD: I am well pleased.
SATAN: Oh, snap! No you di'int! *creates evil*
GOD: Frowns. Hmmm. *creates man in His own image*
JOSS: Please disregard Aliens 4, kthnx.

FANDOM: Twinkles in his eye.
JOSS: Blondes fight back! Hot guys with ambiguous sexuality! NERDS! *WHAMMO CREATES!*
FANDOM: Sighs with satisfaction.
SATAN: I said oh, SNAP! *changes name*
MARTI: That's better. I'll just store these horns for later use.

AL GORE: I'll call it "enter the web"
NERDS OF EARTH: INTERnet!
BIGGER, OILIER NERDS: INTARwebnet!
OTHER NERDS: Snicker!
DND FANS: Rolls dice, ignores.

JOSS: Hot blonde, dudes, weight of the world, SEX.
FANDOM: Hyperventilates!
JOSS: *whispers* Ambiguous gay love.
FANDOM: Hurrah!
JOSS: Be free! Write! Fly my pretties!
MARTI: There isn't enough female beat down... *punches up scripts*
JOSS: Oooh, shiny! *Fireflys*
MARTI: Cackles!

ARTHUR C CLARKE: Monolith!
BRAD FITZ: No, no, is taken. Too 1960s. LJ!
FANDOM: ZOOMS!

FANDOM: Shipper wars, yo!
FACTION: BUFFY ANGEL!
FACTION: WHATEV. Buffy SPIKE.
LARGER FACTION: SPIKE AND ANYONE!
JOSS: Spoor!
JM: Complies. Also: naked.
FANDOM: Dude.

FACTION: BUFFY FAITH!
FACTION: No Adults with kids!
SMALLER FACTION: Anyone, anytime, with anything. Wasn't there a chicken that was lonely in an ep?
FANDOM: The fuck?
SMALLEST FACTION OF ALL: Spike/Bear from S4!
FANDOM: Undo it! Undo it!
WILLOW: I am GAY NOW.
WORLD: We heard you the last eighty times you reminded us.
MOST: Who the fuck is Devon? And why should I care?

FACTION: Spike is good now!
FACTION: Angel's been good, yo!
FACTION: Spike is a rapist!
FACTION: Angel's a pedophile!
FACTION: Uh... Spike is also over a century, so...
SMALLER FACTION OF ZEALOTS: JM has one ring to rule them all!
FRODO: Gasp! Passes out!
JM: Sticks tongue behind teeth, passes out panty liners, UH!
DAVID B: Jesus. This guy? *wears cammo pants for EVER*

SAD TEEN: Zomg like red my fic plz!!!0wordnumberkewl!1
GOTH TEEN: Zomg, Dawn cutz0rs!
GOTH TEEN2: No, zomg. Konner cut0rz!
GOTH TEEN3: No dude, I cutz, I'm dead, woe.
LJ: Dude, I knew her.
FLIST: WHATEV. *joules*
LJ: Busted!
GOTH TEEN3: Zomg, am not dead, cruel bitch0rz stole mah LJ!
LJ: o_0

BNF: I do more! I give more!
LJ: Agreed!
BNF: Conch shell is in my hand and is aloft!
n00b: What is BNF?
LJ: Eyerolls.
BNF: Behold, the conch shell of control!
PIGGIE: But all of us have a voice!
LJ: Growl! Flist is tight, yo! Hear the BNF!
PIGGIE: Glasses crushed, am dead.
SMALL FLIST: Plots and bides their time.

SHIPPERS: Unite!
SLASHERS: Further divide!
FEMME SLASHERS: Smallest division of all!
SNYDER/CLEM LOVERS: Hey!
FEMME SLASHERS: Concede. Also: askance.
SNYDER/CLEM LOVERS: Hey! *head down in shame*

FANDOM: Oh, yeah! Shows!
JOSS: Huh? Still with the shiny space cowboys...
MARTI: *rubs hands* Season 6 and 7! Also, Angel Season 4 and 5 as my evil grows and spreads to others!
FANDOM: Did anyone get the license of that truck?
LJ: To the fic mobile!

GOD: What about the eighth day?
WORLD: Huh?
GOD: ...
WORLD: Seven, you mean.
GOD: On the eighth day I created fandom_wank to record how foolish man is. I *so* didn't screw up the platypus.
AUSTRALIA: Ha!
WORLD: Admit your mistake with the mosquito and we'll call it even.
GOD: Kewl.

FANDOM: Been busy! Drawing LINES in SAND!
LJ: ph34r my flist!
LJ: fear MY flist!
TINY BUT ERUDITE FACTION: A drabble is 100 words! ONLY!
LJ: Rawr!
TEEN WITH BROADBAND: Zomg im hear fore phun.
ADULTS WITH DICTIONARY: Groan.

n00b: What's an LJ cut? *MEMES!*
LJ: leaptacklepounce!
n00b: Limps, yo! Also, cuts, GOD.
GOD: Sigh. Save it for the important things, 'kay?

OBSESSED FAN: Zomg, my love goes beyond the show! More than your love!
LJ: Yawns.
OBSESSED FAN: I will touch his ball sweat and put it in a crystal vase! You'll see!
LJ: Wakes the fuck up, HUH?
JM: Uh.... *drinks Red Bull* I smoke veggie cigarettes and have a band.
OBSESSED FAN: I'm 16 and hot.
JM: *beams* Room 451.

ANTI-RPSer: RPS is evil. *prays*
LJ: Huh? *points to scroll button*
ANTI-RPSer: If it was about you, you'd be grossed out! JUST SAY NO. RPS kills.
LJ: Anonymous Hump/Lick meme! ACTIVATE!
FANDOM: Form of... Humper! Form of... lube!
VIRGIN: Shampoo works! Or motor oil!
PEOPLE WHO HAVE HAD SEX: Crosses fucking LEGS, OW.
FACTION: ZOMG Othering and other 50 cent words to be created as needed! You're all racist/marginalizing if you don't write Gunn/other race/femme slash!
FANDOM: Askance and discuss! Also: does not solve all the worlds problems through online blogging, HORRORS!

ROBIN HOBBS: Fanfic is whack.
FANDOM: o_0
ROBIN HOBBS: You all beat off!
FANDOM: Snickers!
LJ: Masturbation Ficathon, Ahoy!
FANDOM: Rejoice!
TEEN WITH BROADBAND: Masterbashun is kewl.
ERUDITE ADULTS: www.dictionary.com, GOD.
GOD: Me?
ERUDITE ADULTS: Sorry, no.
GOD: *plays with dolls*

WRITER 1: Zomg I love U all. Some more than others. *IMs*
WRITER 2: Ditto.
WRITER 3: Frist!
LJ: Fics, vids, icons.

GANG OF 3: Divide!
WRITER 1: Whatev.
WRITER 2/3: Stronger. Distant.
LJ: Carries on.

FANDOM: Plagiarist! *checks spelling* Plagiarist! *with confidence*
LJ: pouncetacklestomp!
WRITER: blue popsicle!
LJ: Huh?
WRITER: Blue. Popsicle.
LJ: ...huh?!? *with conviction*
WRITER: You'll see. You'll all see! *flocks*

STONEY: Zomg, cream of cum!
LJ: Ha!
STONEY: Zomg, meat curtains!
LJ: Oh dear god.
STONEY: Haha, snapping pissed off alligator pussy!
LJ: Can't look away from the train wreck! Also - ha!
>:(: Yure meen.
STONEY: Huh? Zomg, Wee!Spike! Also: weeping cocks!
>:(: Meen girl!!
STONEY: Oblivious. Also, RPS- yes? No? Be gud writerz, too!
>:( attackstompthickheaded!
STONEY: Laughs!
>:#(: Circle argument! Nazis! Cancer! Snuff films! PAY THE RENT!
STONEY: Buzzuh?
SWMBO: I'll pay the rent! Also: Patient smack down with a vengeance!

LJ: Who the fuck is Stoney?
STONEY: Woe.
GOTH TEEN: Cut0rz? Across the street and down the highway, yo. Clove cigarette?
STONEY: Uh... I'm good.

FANDOM: Bored now.
FACTION: Hed iz pastede on yay! *manips* also: *minapes*
MOST: Uhhhh...
FACTION: thwackthwackthwackthwack
MOST: Ewwww! LJ Cut!
FACTION: RAGE!!
MOST: Whatev.
FACTION: Turns out the lights and carries on. Rolled down socks are HOT.

FANDOM: Help! I'm dying!
LJ: Flist trim like, whoa. Also: Woe.
FANDOM: Cough! Weak...
LJ: Liar. Flist. TRIM.
FANDOM: Haha, totally fine.
LJ: It's not you, it's me.
FANDOM: Yeah, you can be a bitch.
LJ: GASP! I lied! It's not me, it's YOU.
FANDOM: Crossovers? Ficathons?
LJ: Sighs. Okay.
FANDOM: n00bs! Train them.
LJ: o_0 - My flist is TIGHT, yo!

WRITER: Dude, flame? 'Splain.
LJ: ERUPTS!
FANDOM: Huh?
FACTION: Elbows! Also, NOT fandom!
FANDOM: Huh?
FACTION: Links like a summbitch!
FANDOM: tl;dr
n00b: Huh?
ERUDITE ADULT: For chrissakes, it's called GOOGLE.
FACTION: Hemhem.
FANDOM: That's HP, yo.

FACTION: Old wound! Dig!
FACTION: Scrape! Pokes at it!
INSTIGATOR: Alleged!
FACTION: I said... Links like a SUMMBITCH!
LJ: O Rly?
WORLD: ENOUGH.
OWLS: Srlsy.
WORLD: We mean it, now.
INSTIGATOR: Slinks off.
FANDOM: Huh?
FACTION: Not. Fandom.

LJ: Asplodes!
ORIGINAL PARTIES: Quiet.
LJ: Huh?
ORIGINAL PARTIES: Not. Fandom, GOD.
GOD: No, I'm staying out of this one.
WORLD: What else is new?
GEORGE W. BUSH: Oh, come on!
GOD: So didn't tell you jack.
GEORGE W. BUSH: *counts days*
LJ: Surmises! Supposes! Theorizes! Points!
n00b: Uhhhh...
SMALLER FACTION: Lines! *draws in sand*
LJ: Woe.
LJ: Deletes journal.
LJ: Fucking woe.
n00b: Seriously, HUH?
LJ: Rolls eyes, creates 8 new WTF icons.

JOSS: Whedeonverse RSS!
FANDOM: Perks up ears...
JOSS: Ha ha! They were so doing it.
FANDOM: Heart grows three sizes that day.
SOUTH DAKOTA: Represses! Lusts for virgins! Acts creepy!
LJ: Links! Educates! Rallies the forces!
SOUTH DAKOTA: Oh, snap! Appealed!
LJ: Can do good! *spams with who's a dirty pirate hooker meme*

JOSS: Fanfic rocks! Long live fandom!
FANDOM: Peeks out of rubble...
LJ: Vids? Icons? Fic? ZOOM!

MARTI: I will rule them ALL!
FANDOM: Ignores.
BUTTERFLY: Flaps wings in China!
HURRICANE: Am created in Maine - wipes out Stephen King!
BUTTERFLY: Pwned!

WRITERCON: Waits.


And that is a summary of Jossverse and its assorted Wank on LJ since the Beginning. But seriously: if you can't laugh at the silliness that is all of us online, then you really SHOULD defriend me. I SWEAR TO GOD I won't mind.

GOD: Hmmm?
STONEY: No, no, is okay. I don't believe in you.
GOD: Unaffected - creates new orchid species AND a cancer, go me!
STONEY: Atheism!


HAHAHA!! My friend Narko did one for PotC fandom, BWAH HA HA!!!
Tags: funneh, kerfuffles in 15 minutes
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