Laura Stone (stoney321) wrote,
Laura Stone

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Kinky Birthdays

Two separate things, really. Happy birthday to the fantastic, dry-witted gardener and calf-raiser extraordinaire, julia_here. And for you, Julia, a joke from my friend Chrissy, who raises racing stock: All this week they've been breeding, which means my tough little friend (5'2", 98 pounds soaking wet) holds the mares still while the lust-crazed stallions come in for the approach. The owner of the facility had a friend along, to witness the "majesty." After a few well-places kicks from the mare to the stud's scrotum (torn and bleeding now, but does he care? Hell no.) the stud pulls his balls up inside and continues on with the Lord's Work. This friend sees only a rivulet of blood on the stud's hindquarters and no balls, and starts screaming hysterically, "She kicked his balls off!" Hahaha!! I thought you'd get a kick out of that. Badumbum ching! Have a fantastic day today, and may the kiddoes prune your roses and such for you, while you rest and sip something tasty.

Kinky. Kinky Friedman, that is. This is the loudmouth, cigar-chomping Jew running for Texas governor. This man makes me so happy, I can barely see straight. Funny, smart, a writer with a dirty, sassy mouth, he is the very epitome of what a Texan USED to be thought of, before Dubya bought a ranch and decided to play "cowboy." I've said it once, and I'll say it again: Connecticut? Y'all need to claim what's yours, 'cause he ain't ours.

So there's hope for Texas, folks. Those of us that remember Annette Strauss, who love Ann Richards (recovering from cancer, bless that sass-pot) and Molly Ivins, and for those of us that goddammit, LOVE TEXAS. I do. I am completely unapologetic about my love for my home state. Only state that was its own nation. Fought our own wars. Dammit, that had a gov'ner named Hogg, with a daughter with the first name Ima. How can you not love that history? For all the cowboys and ranchers and Good Old Boys that live here, there was a multi-year long debate over whether our state's motto should be "The Wildflower State" or "The Lone Star State." They're men, but dammit, they love their pretty land, too.

So back to Kinky Friedman. After getting almost four times the amount of petition signatures needed to run as an independent, he replied, "Thank God for all the dance halls and bars in this fine state." THAT is who I want. I love that he's comparing himself to Sam Houston, the last independent gov of Texas. (Sam Houston, by the way, had a ladies underwear fetish, and did opium, but that's neither here nor there.) Here's a link to the issues and his opinions. He just makes sense. And if you think the Texas governor race doesn't matter to you, because you live elsewhere, I'd like to point out the current administration. Enough people didn't care and look what happened? (Gah, and they're grooming Rick Perry - the guy that took over when Bush left for Washington - to be Presidential ready. That SOB makes me so sick, I don't know where to begin.)

I'm tired of the "religious right" Republicans who are wrong on almost everything. I'm tired of the "embrace everything, no matter how full of holes it may be" Democrats. Dammit, I'm Kinky. Let's hope the state of Texas is Kinky, too. :D Have a great day, folks! (And I'm gonna need a Kinky icon, I reckon.)
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