Laura Stone (stoney321) wrote,
Laura Stone
stoney321

  • Mood:

Yes, New York! It's really us, Barnaby and Cornelius!

(All the guests of Mr. Hackl are feeling great and look spectacular...) What? Isn't "NY, NY" by Frank Sinatra a little over-done? CHECKLIST:

  • clothes - variety of weather conditions - CHECK

  • raincoat - CHECK (and boooo, East Coast. Booo.)

  • passport, false identity, key to a new life hidden under secret obsidian pavestone on 114th and 5th Ave - CHECK

  • lube, bongs, number to that guy in the Bronx with "firepower" - CHECK

  • ocelot fur coin-purse - CHECK

  • positive mental attitude - CHECK

  • barely legal porn - CHECK

  • other reading material for the flight - CHECK

  • map of Manhattan - CHECK

  • laser pen- CHECK

  • bibles - DOUBLE CHECK

  • white-noise-canceling headphones (you have no idea how much cherusha talks - be prepared!) - CHECK

  • BOTTLE OF MILAGRO SILVER TEQUILA - CHICKITY-CHECK

  • sacks of cash - CHECK (they even have a dollar sign on them! That'll make them seem like props as I saunter through NYC carrying them, so I won't get mugged. Right?)

  • extra snacks for plane since they don't FEED US ANYMORE - .....check.


And because this is really, really funny: a final link before I go from McSweeny's. 13 Writing Prompts. Now, don't y'all go doing anything entertaining while I'm gone, 'kay?
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