In honor of a new LJ buddy being raised in a Pentecostal environment, I give you:
MY LIFE AS TOLD BY THE REVEREND BILLY BOB (Jimmy Joe is just not "Christ" enough, you know?)
And Lo, I did go forth unto the doctor this morning, and he did look unto mine eye with a rod that giveth light, as our Lord Jesus doth give us light. And there was the checking of the strength of my sinews and yea, of mine bone. And when mine knees did creak unto him, there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth.
And he placed his hands upon my knee and spake unto the heavens for the demons that afflict them to come out! He spake forth saying, the power of Christ (yea, the Alpha and the Omega) compels you!
And the demons that doth reside unto mine knees spake unto him with a hissing, we are many. We are Legion and we will not give up these knees. We take divers pleasure with the destruction of this place that was once a temple unto the moving swiftly forward, yea and it was called running. But she shall run no more.
GET THEE HENCE, DEMON! Dost thou not know that I am the mouthpiece of the Lord, our God and Savior? Thou shalt not afflict the knees of his child henceforth!
Now, if my doctor's visits went like THAT, I'd go more. Instead, I get to fill out FORMS!! Whee!! And they all have the same info on it, but just slightly different. Why can't they ask all of the questions on ONE sheet (make it a long one!) instead of me filling out the same info on four different papers?
Now, I have nothing in life to complain about, but then, were would my fun come from? Ridiculing things is where the fun comes in. And if you don't like it, Ike'll make a comeback and slap some sense into yo ass. Pain medication is fun!