calmAnd if you want the soundtrack to Little Miss Sunshine, grab it while it's available. (Thanks again, A for sharing it with me in the first place!)
Second, because I upped my mileage today and I'm probably not going to physically be able to move from this chair for a while, here's one of those "My _____" things.
My Mayor Richard Wilkins the Third
- Met Edna Mae at a county fair where they both tasted lemonade for the first time. She was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.
- It was love at first sight.
- when they realized that having children weren't in the cards for them - and he went to several readers. They literally weren't in the cards for them - tried to change his pending immortality for a family.
- The sorcerer kindly didn't kill him for that request.
- And Richard sent him a fruit basket in thanks every year after.
- told his wife that a tonic he took every morning was the reason behind his "forever young" appearance.
- hated lying to her.
- held her hand while she died.
- told her she was still the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.
- It was the last time he would let himself cry.
- years later had the movie quote "I was born when she kissed me. I died when she left me. I lived a few weeks while she loved me" inscribed on her tombstone.
- agrees that the golf course is the best place to do business.
- Except with vampires, because night golf is just hard on the eyes.
- really admires Tiger Woods' dedication and devotion to his father.
- But mostly it's that back swing. Gosh! Just perfect, every time.
- really loves a parade.
- saves lemonade for special occasions.
- always has a meat, two veg, and a starch for dinner.
- And a tall glass of milk.
- sent Allan Finch to Costco bi-monthly to buy a gross of Wet-Naps.
- says the alphabet while he washes his hands to make sure he cleans them thoroughly.
- believes dodgeball to be the perfect game that illustrates life.
- started watching that movie until the team came out in S&M outfits because honestly! Did they need to go there? Up until then it was good clean fun.
- buys the sanitized versions of blockbuster movies from that outfit in Utah.
- With the exception of his director's cut of The Godfather, because that's just good storytelling.
- mouths "take the cannolis" along with Clemenza.
- "tsks" every time he says it, because he knows it's grammatically incorrect.
- And would it have hurt anyone to know how to properly pluralize a word?
- wished people focused more on the three R's in school like they used to when he was a boy.
- has meatloaf every Thursday with mashed potatoes, carrot dimes, and peas. And apple pie for dessert.
- recycles.
- loves judging the Pinewood derby every year and feels a twinge at not having a son to compete.
- loves to unwind with some Sousa marches.
- also plays Sousa during staff meetings to pump up his employees.
- likes business casual - he wore a tie every day for 92 years, after all.
- thinks Mr. Trick is fun, but wishes he'd wear a muted-colored suit every now and then.
- appreciates the work ethic of Allan Finch, but doesn't like him very much.
- I mean, there's loyalty, and then there's being a boot lick.
- Which is why Snyder irritates him.
- has never used a computer, and doesn't plan on changing that.
- Mostly because he won't have hands soon.
- Or people to use them.
- thought he was going to be killed when he opened the door and saw Faith standing there.
- she had shiny hair just like his Edna Mae.
- marvels that this broken kid is his most trusted employee.
- never EVER thinks of her as just an employee.
- was positively horrified when she called him Sugar Daddy.
- sat in his leather office chair for two hours thinking about what must have happened to her to make her not recognize the difference between that and a daddy.
- wishes she wouldn't swear so much.
- And would it kill her to sit up straight? Posture is the key to good health.
- thinks Faith looks like a natural putter, but ran out of time before he was able to take her to the club.
- knows Buffy is the better slayer, which upsets him more than he can say.
- because above all else, Richard believes in loyalty.
- which is why he will kill Buffy first.
- ...or maybe let his Faithy do it. Heck, she's great at killing, the little sweetheart.
- ...maybe he'll just knock Buffy around some. He wouldn't want Faith to not have the advantage, nosirree.
- has penciled into his calendar for the day before his Ascension to be sure and cancel his subscription to Reader's Digest.
- has had that subscription for over 75 years.
- is going to miss reading "Family Circus" once he becomes a pure demon.
- hopes slaughtering everything in sight will take the edge off of that.
- admires Mr. Giles, but wished he was just a bit more evil so they could have been cronies.
- didn't know about "Ripper."
- wouldn't have liked him if he did know, because gosh darn it, Ripper had no goals.
- And you didn't get to be over 100 years old and the politician with the longest term in history without having a few goals.
- You kids would do well to heed that advice, even though you'll think it's "square.".
- couldn't sleep that first night that "Angelus" took his little girl out for a night of killing.
- not that he thought Angelus would hurt his Faith, it was the "other stuff."
- Because kids today don't have the same respect for their bodies that Richard's generation did.
- was bothered by Faith's lack of self-esteem.
- Sure she talked big, but he could see his little girl's hurt buried inside, and that upset him more than he liked.
- practically glowed any time he could get her to smile and laugh.
- touched Faith for the first time when she was lying in that hospital bed.
- She really did have hair just like his Edna Mae.
- completely forgot about the Ascension as he pinched Buffy's nose shut and felt her teeth against the palm of his hand.
- knows to have a contingency plan, so makes arrangements for Faith to get what she's always wanted.
- It makes him sad to know what she really wants, because he thinks blondes look cheap.
- went straight to his office to make a video for Faith, in case she woke up.
- It took two takes.
- The first was him staring into space.
- tries to get a good night's sleep before his Big Day, because he believes fervently in Ben Franklin's adages.
- ate a light breakfast the morning of Graduation, as he was obviously planning on having a large dinner.
- spent an hour going over his note cards, making adjustments, because kids today really should know that it's "cool" to be civicly-minded.
- spots Buffy looking right at him in her chair.
- wants to eat her first.
- except Snyder's there, so...
- ...he tastes like weasel.
- in the flash before the bombs exploded in the school library - which, did they have to destroy the whole school? That was built on taxpayer's money. Well, some shady deals, too, but mostly taxpayer's money - he had a moment of regret because he couldn't kill Buffy for his Faith.
- but maybe he'd get to see his Edna Mae again.
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