IN OTHER NEWS: How awesome was the Daily Show last night? Dammit, Bill. I want Clinton back as President. Also: My flist seems divided on the Studio 60 love, and I have to say that I fall on the excited side. I was not "meh" at all. SO MANY INSIDE SNL BITS! I wonder what Al Franken thinks about being represented? (He and his partner Tom Davis - who also had a cocaine problem and was his longtime writing partner - were ceremonially fired, then re-hired and asked to use their political skits again. Nice.) I liked Chanandler Bongg on this, too. He didn't have the exaggerated facial-tics of sit-commyness, so it worked nicely. I like Matthew Perry. He's Matthew Perry in everything he does, so that's a good thing. The religious girl? Could be a cross between Victoria Jackson (Born again Christian) and Nora Roberts, who left in a huff - she had high standards. When Lorne Michaels left in 1980, Jane Doumian took over the show and re-vamped the whole thing. It sucked, she was fired, Dick Ebersol took over, they found Eddie Murphy, they then brought Lorne back a few years later when Eddie left and the show blew. (Anyone remember the Anthony Michael Hall/Joan Cusak/Robert Downey Jr. year? No one else does, either.)
All in all: Studio 60 a thumbs up. Good snappy dialogue - Robert Altman like direction? What's not to like? [ETA] because I'm always forgetting things. The PA chick? That knew who Matt Perry's character was and was all sheepish? That was Tracy from Signs. The girl that worked at a pharmacy and confessed to Mel Gibson about saying douchebag to her boyfriend 97 times? Hahahaha. Just a random thing that finally hit my brain. Whee! I liked her. Sheepish characters make me happy.
For the non-TV watchers, I give you More Trashy Teen Novel mockery! Some people might question the brain cells I'm wasting. Some people don't understand my need for mockage. IT IS A NEED. Not in a mean way (I think) but in a "HA HA, I looooved this shit when I was 13!" way. So I'm poking fun at myself. AT MYSELF. *cries, rends clothing*
We last left off with excerpts here, and a little fun-making here. (Um, the thread there gets WAY off track with some Angel/Connor smut, so just read the first one.)
So Caitlin: beautiful. Dazzling. Charming. And very very clever. Also, very much a one-dimensional Season 1 Cordelia, wheeee! But she's mean because her austere granny doesn't LOVE HER. She's being groomed to be an appendage for her grandmother to make business deals. We are reminded of that OVER AND OVER. And no one knows her secret. *sniffs* They can't know! The social structure of Highgate Academy DEPENDS ON HER BEING PERCEIVED AS AWESOME. The world would end if she fell apart, people. Also, the kids call each other "kids." Man, I did that. Didn't you? "Hey, kid!" "Hey, little guy!" WTF?
So, we find that in her quest to steal Jed away from that Plain and Out Of Style Diana (purlease. Those clothes? Boys are SO into fashion!) that she left a shed unlocked and BAGS OF POISON fell to the floor. Which the 6 year old Perfect Child with Adorable Listhp IMMEDIATELY raced to when Diana was distracted. (Probably making cow eyes at Jed. Or was she?? Bum bum bum!!!) Don't you see? CAITLIN CAUSED THE CHILD TO BE IN A COMA. But Jed thinks DIANA did. So she gets him. But what of her SOUL???
When Caitlin realizes that SHE, glorious, beautiful, dazzling and very very clever SHE caused the accident, why, she does what any self-respecting girl that is dazzling and very very clever does: gets her horse out in the pouring rain (on her birthday, which her Grandmother FORGOT, woe) mindless of the stable man who will likely lose his job - and who figures "fuck that crazy woman. I'm gonna sit in the barn and wait for her to come back - I ain't goin' out in the pouring rain!" She rides until he CROSSES HIMSELF at the sight of her. "Oh, god, Miss Caitlin... What have you done?" Wet clothes, hair, reins clamped so tightly in her fists... Aren't we all weeping for our heroine? But has the rain washed her sins away and left her renewed and reborn?
Or has it? This is all BOOK ONE. Ahahahahaha!!! GENIUS. Oh, she gets Jed in Book One. Under false pretense, I might add. Because she lets Diana take the fall. She lets Diana LEAVE SCHOOL in DISGRACE, omg. And she gets her man - but loses her SOUL.
Jed finally kisses her (which she wished would go on forever), she confesses about her parent's deaths and her Grandmother's Austere Nature, and we have the following: (italics are property of Joanna Campbell and Francine Pascal - I ain't claiming it. The rest is mine.)
Jed lifted a hand and gently wiped the tears from her cheeks. "Oh Caitlin," he whispered. "How could they do this to you?" For a long moment he looked deeply into her eyes, his fingers caressing her cheek. When he finally spoke, his voice was husky. "I don't want you to feel unloved anymore."
"Sometimes it's hard not to."
"But I love you."
Caitlin swallowed, barely believing what she was hearing. "You - you do?"
"Very much." He smiled softly. "I thought you knew."
"I- I couldn't have. You just stand about in your clean cut and well-fitting tan cords - never letting me forget you're from Montana in your plaid shirts and cowboy boots, while I stand about looking glamorous in jodhpurs and indigo JUMPSUITS with my flashing eyes and raven-hair. We just look beautiful - we don't emote. Unless I'm being evil and plotting revenge. I mean... Do you ever hear from Diana?"
"No, which is conveniently allowing me to fall in love with you until everything blows up in my face. Say, let's get to book 2 so that can happen. Then we can devote the rest of the book to the PSA."
Caitlin raised her perfect face, gave a tiny, kittenish pout with her perfect rosebud lips, blinked her thick, sooty lashes - allowing her violet eyes to peer through them like a panther in the jungle - and demurred, "Yes. It is 1985, and the girls of the world need to learn about Anorexia Nervosa, which is apparently brought about by being NERVOUS."
"I love you Caitlin. I want to spend a paragraph emoting now, like all 16 year old boys from Montana do. Mmmm, 16 year old boys from Montana..."
"Jed? Brokeback Mountain won't be written for a while. Let's talk about fashion. Or me."
"I love you, Caitlin."
"You said that already, Jed."
On to Book Two.... HEEE HEE!
Except not for a bit, because I'm going to buy NEW SHOES, joy! I mean, YARR! (Miles walked today: 9.56 according to my cool, new pedometer.)