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Fic Post: E Nomine Patre

Title: E Nomine Patre
Author: Stoney
Fandom: AtS
Rating/Characters: PG-13, Connor, his father
Summary: Set in late S3. Short. Ish. Based on an aside I made in the Connor CD Mix post.
A/N: As always, I welcome concrit, either here or email.

E Nomine Patre

He always let go. The dream never changed. The sky was harsh, yellows and greens, no wind blew, no sound of birds or animals could be heard. They stood at the edge of a jagged cliff face, the rocks below sharp and inviting. The water hundreds of feet below roiled and churned against the stones.

"A few more steps, son. I've got you."

The boy knew he lied. He wanted to pull his hand away, run to the safety of a cave or tree, the pit of his stomach turned and twisted like the white foam that would soon claim him.


The child tightened his hand in his father's grip and smiled sweetly up at him. The man bent down and laid his hand on his son's unruly hair, lighter in color and softer in texture than his father's.

"One more step, son."

The boy peered over the edge, his hand a death grip in his father's. His toe dislodged a stone and it went tumbling and crashing over the precipice. Just like he would do.

The dream was always the same.

"I love you, Father."

"Go with God."

The hand always slipped away like the boy had no strength. He didn't know anymore who pulled away first. With dream logic the boy was able to turn and look into the worn and scarred face of his father, who stood looking down, hands clasped behind his back while humming a hymn.

"I love you."

The wind rushed all around the boy's frail body in a scream disguising the roar of the boiling ocean below, stealing his last words away. Or was that the sound of the boy's scream? The noise grew louder and louder, the water racing to claim the child, when Angel woke up with a jerk, hand clutched over his unbeating heart.

He laid back against the pillow and stared at the charred walls of what was his baby's bedroom.

The dream was always the same.



( 37 comments — Leave a comment )
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Oct. 2nd, 2006 02:55 pm (UTC)

I love your Connor fics, and I love dream fics, so this was the perfect combination. Wonderfully poignant and evocative and so so sad. And I particularly like that I thought it was Connor's dream until the end.

From your previous post...what the HELL is up with the weather down here? I'm crying. CRYING, I tell you.
Oct. 2nd, 2006 08:50 pm (UTC)
re: weather. I DON'T KNOW! It's horrible, and I'm seriously frowning at the blue, blue sky and lack of cool, soothing wind.

re: Connor. Oh, how I love that poor, broken, feral boy. And his broken papa. And heh - I'm glad that the payoff at the end worked!
Oct. 2nd, 2006 03:04 pm (UTC)
Oh, that's so haunting and gorgeous. Poor Angel. Poor Connor. *tears up*
Oct. 2nd, 2006 08:51 pm (UTC)
Oh, thanks, Lee! Poor Connor. DAMMIT, I love that show.
Oct. 2nd, 2006 03:11 pm (UTC)
Aw, lovely and sad, and all Abraham-and-Isaac: brrr.
Oct. 2nd, 2006 08:52 pm (UTC)
Heh for this and below - I love religious imagery. I love how prominent it was throughout all of AtS, you know?

Thank you very much.
Oct. 2nd, 2006 03:13 pm (UTC)
Actually an even more appropriate image for you to call on than I realized, as Isaac "wasn't supposed to happen" either. Go you!
Oct. 2nd, 2006 03:26 pm (UTC)
Wonderful... and ouch!
Oct. 2nd, 2006 08:53 pm (UTC)
I think you just summed up the show! :) (and thanks!)
Oct. 2nd, 2006 03:26 pm (UTC)
Oh wow. That's excellent, Stoney. Reflects the religious undertones of the story in canon perfectly. Damn good job, honey.

Oct. 2nd, 2006 08:53 pm (UTC)
*beams, and uses appropriate icon*

Thank you VERY much! Man, sometimes I just ache wanting more of that show... Thank goodness for fanfiction.
(Deleted comment)
Oct. 2nd, 2006 06:35 pm (UTC)
At first I actually thought the father was Holtz. I love how this can work in all those ways.
(Deleted comment)
... - stoney321 - Oct. 2nd, 2006 08:56 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Oct. 2nd, 2006 08:55 pm (UTC) - Expand
Oct. 2nd, 2006 06:35 pm (UTC)
This was beautiful and sad and shifty in my mind, Stoney. Thank you very much for sharing.
Oct. 2nd, 2006 08:57 pm (UTC)
Oooh, shifty in your mind. I like that, and I like you, too, so see how that works out for both of us?

Thanks, Joy. I STILL have got to clear time (and the house) so I can finish part two of your post-NFA fic uninterrupted. I got about half-way through before the kidlets decided that I didn't need my sanity...
Oct. 2nd, 2006 09:53 pm (UTC)
This is very moody and atmospheric, and this line broke my heart:

"He laid back against the pillow and stared at the charred walls of what was his baby's bedroom."

Sniffle. Great job, honey. *smooch*

Oct. 2nd, 2006 10:31 pm (UTC)
Thanks a bunch, Lynne. And I'm re-watching that arc as of today - I'm missing the show. :(
... - lynnenne - Oct. 2nd, 2006 11:00 pm (UTC) - Expand
Oct. 2nd, 2006 10:36 pm (UTC)
Sigh. Connor. :( Angel. :(

Beautiful. ;) Makes me want to go back and rewatch the Connor arc. Again.
Oct. 2nd, 2006 10:40 pm (UTC)
Oh, thank you! And yeah - I've just set the DVDs out to re-watch later tonight, too. I miss my show. :(
Oct. 2nd, 2006 11:30 pm (UTC)
Oh, poor Connor, and poor Angel.
I really thought it was Connor's dream, right til the end.
Oct. 3rd, 2006 12:19 am (UTC)
*stares at your icon forever*

I'm glad the rug-pulling worked - I worried it wouldn't. And thank you.
Oct. 2nd, 2006 11:55 pm (UTC)
awww, that was heartbreaking... I think that scene where Angel is just sitting on the floor staring at the crib is one of the most poignant scenes in AtS. To lose his beautiful baby boy that he never thought he would have was just so heartbreaking and I remember wondering how Joss could write such an arc, as if Angel didn't already have enough guilt and torment in his life.
Oct. 3rd, 2006 12:18 am (UTC)
I know, right? That's why the show is SO BRILLIANT. It never pulled punches, never shied away from spiralling deeper into darkness... I love that show, man.

And thank you.
Oct. 3rd, 2006 01:07 am (UTC)
This is so lovely and sad. Absolutely perfect. I think it's the best thing you've ever written.
Oct. 3rd, 2006 01:09 am (UTC)
Whoa, seriously? Huh. Well, thank you, and I've MISSED you! *hugs*
(Deleted comment)
Oct. 3rd, 2006 01:44 pm (UTC)
(I am. But from a Connor POV.)

That icon of yours... it's growing on me. *stares*
(Deleted comment)
... - stoney321 - Oct. 3rd, 2006 03:59 pm (UTC) - Expand
Oct. 3rd, 2006 04:12 pm (UTC)
Wow. And goodness. And wow. Beautiful and frightening and sad. You've pulled so much emotion into such a short piece. Lovely work, Stoney.
Oct. 3rd, 2006 04:14 pm (UTC)
Aw, thanks, Sal! I really appreciate your having said that. *squish* That show... Man, I'll never get tired of it.
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( 37 comments — Leave a comment )


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Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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