I am off-kilter today because a) it is too windy to walk (seriously, I'll be blown over) and I feel weird without exercise every day, b) I was filled with sympathy last night watching Project Runway for JEFFREY, c) the unfortunate ending to Lemony Snickett's Series of Unfortunate Events is coming in the mail, and I really should have stuck with reading The Littlest Elf, woe.
Quick rundown of TV last night, because hahaha.
Um... I keep changing channels when this is on. Which means it is BORING. Also, am I the only one that thinks Skeet Ulrich is a poor man's Johnny Depp? Which was almost enough to keep me watching. But seriously - they're wasting electricity on a guy that's obviously going to die so we can see that the Wife!Doctor is ZOMGSEW dedicated to her job, thus putting her at odds with her cheating husband!sherriff? LAME. It's like the writers DID NOT WATCH RED DAWN. Wolverines, people. Families hiding their wimmin in storm cellars with loaded shot guns. People hoarding water and #10 cans of beans. Honda generators with precious precious gasoline. NOT TEENS HAVING A RAVE, good god.
And I like how one episode dealt with impending radiation fallout, and now the townspeople are milling about, mucking up the dust in the street, touching things, drinking water, and NO ONE IS DYING OF RADIATION SICKNESS. Did I miss something? You know what? I don't care. For Pete's sake, St. George, UT is 50 miles from an old nuclear testing site in Nevada, and an entire kindergarten class contracted leukemia. No lie. All 29 children. There's an outrageously high number of cancer in people who lived there during the late 50s and 60s, when testing was going on. And these people... ARGH. Do some research. In other words: NEXT!
Your Johnny Depp wannabe with the Perpetually Serious Face isn't enough to keep me watching, CBS!
And I have a meeeeelion things to do today.
To Do List
- finish laundry, including putting it away
- scrub bathrooms
- scrub kitchen
- scrub SELF, omg ewww, Stoney
- drive into city to pick up donation check, whoo!
- sit on top of front desk nurse at old pediatrician's office to get complete record for Em
- drop off at NEW pediatrician/school so Em isn't kicked out for potential Typhoid Mary status
- refresh PetFinder site like crazy
- prepare chicken bomb for back fence neighbors of snarky evil
- go grocery shopping - making sure to get red food coloring for said chicken bomb
- I AM JOKING ABOUT MAKING A BOMB. Of chicken parts. And baking soda. And fermentation. And red food coloring. And rotten chicken parts. I mentioned that, right? In a Mason jar? add a few TBSP of vinegar to all of that and hide it somewhere? And the pressure makes it explode? And the chicken stinks and is red? I WAS JOKING ABOUT THAT.
- hire a defense attorney
- pick a good prison name
- make a choice: bitch or fish? I'm a lover, not a fighter. FISH it is.
- get new lettuces in the ground - put Darthanne on guard for bunnies
- fling corpses into Evil Neighbor's yard - KIDDING. I am kidding. Darthanne doesn't leave anything, anyway.
- find Jesus - check the rhodedendrons. And bus stations - he's wily.
- get express one way ticket to hell
- pick out handbasket - maybe we can get a seat transfer?
quit making to do lists and GET GOING.
Tonight: THE OFFICE. Hurrah! also, any other old a-listers get invites to a GJ game? I don't know that Will and Tom would make good additions - I write funny RPG, people, not serious. So... Huh. That was very nice to get, though.