Laura Stone (stoney321) wrote,
Laura Stone

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Because I can't resist a self pimp.

I'm a whore. It's best we get that out of the way, now. Done? Good. My buddy floweringjudas had a class today where a presentation by a fellow student had him referring to Alexander Pope as "The Pope." Ahahaha. My supposition:

Maybe he's a secret closet rapper (the presentation guy) and he's all into Alexander Pope's mad rhymz. So he's all "The Pope, biotch!"

The Pimp now spredz tha glitterin' Foreskin wide,
T' inclose mah JOCK; now joins it, so ride.
Ev'n then, before the fatal cootchie clos'd,
A lo down skeezer too fondly interpos'd

*throws down mic wif mad success, y'all, PEACE*

(Actual poem)

And why do I have Aleister Crowley in my address bar? In other news, fudge continues to rule my world. I just got back from the yarn store with some pumpkin wool, a pretty limey green, black, some "tweeded" navy and green, and I'm gunna crochet like a summbitch while re-watching Friday Night Lights, aka the best show you aren't watching!! Oh, how I wish someone would teach me to knit. I wanna make mittens. I can crochet well, but I want to know how to KNIIIIIIT. *clickety-clack!*

[ETA] For RANT A FUCKING GO GO. Women Aren't Funny?

So I've heard this since the first time I tried out for an improv troupe. Guy comedians DO NOT think women are funny. I've met maybe ONE that conceded that women could be funny, or be able to tell a joke. (Anyone remember Jerry Lewis making this statement a few years back? Asshole.)

But here's the thing about guy comedians, and I've known enough over the years (and my sister Beth, a stand-up comedian herself, can attest) to know that they are the angriest, most confrontational group of people out there, next to stock brokers. (There's always one or two exceptions. HOWEVER.) It's a fine line between ripping someone a new hole and then turning it around to laugh at it.

Which is what a lot of comedy is: laughing at things or ourselves. As Fran Leibowitz comments in the article, what's more male than that? But I take SERIOUS UMBRAGE at the idea that humor is a sign of intelligence and the implication being that women are "slow to get it."

FUCK. YOU. Now, I believe that most women don't have a highly developed sense of humor - they haven't needed to, or it's unbecoming to be "jokey." Does this mean women are less CAPABLE of being funny? Hell no. And every guy that gets a yuck isn't INTELLIGENT. (See: Git 'er done.)

Just because you are STUPID enough to laugh at someone tripping doesn't mean that you are biologically superior in your brain meat over a woman who doesn't laugh at that.

And I see that the guy writing the article is tripping over himself to point out how "awesome" women are, how they "own men" all over the world, (uh... don't get me started) but all the while the other side of his mouth is flapping about how men are funny and women aren't because men are better, nyah.

I wanna Billy Jean King this guy's ass so bad...

MEN DON'T LIKE FUNNY WOMEN. It's not that we don't exist. We do. MEN DON'T LIKE FUNNY WOMEN. (It bears repeating.) THEY want to be the funny one. THEY want to be the yuckster. It's a competition thing. It relaxes women. Believe me, most stand up comedians aren't attractive. But they get tail. Why? Because women like to laugh. I can get biological and explain endorphins, etc., but I'll sum up with how it loosens the caboose, in a way.

Men don't like competing with OTHER funny guys. They tear each other down, albeit while laughing, but it's not unlike dogs nipping at each other. So... who's more evolved? Women who can laugh and empathise and feel and laugh some more? Or your caveman behavior?

MEN LIKE WOMEN TO BE QUIET. Look at all the jokes men do about nagging wives/girlfriends. MEN LIKE WOMEN TO BE DOCILE. "Bring me a pot pie, bitch!"

In conclusion, fuck you, fuck the horse you rode in on, the breeder that raised your horse, the barn he sleeps in, and your doctor for not slapping you in the FACE when you were born.

Oh, and two guys walked into a bar. Which was pretty stupid, since the second guy should have ducked. Ba dum bum CHING. *slow clap with wry expression*
Tags: rant
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