March 26th, 2008

dating, carbon 14 nerdjoke

Letters to entities unlikely to respond

Dear Fashion World,

Fuck you.

Why do you hate women? I don't mean double X's, I mean WOMEN. You know, with hips. And boobs. And waists. You think you're awfully clever with those jersey knit potato sacks with pintucking right at the top of our boobs, don't you? Just because everyone in Hollywood in pregnant doesn't mean we all want to look like WE'RE pregnant, too. And what's with the huge, garish, hideous patterns every where in horrible, bright tones? Not all of us like "embellishments" and halter tops. Not all of us can wear jewel tones, thank you very much.

Stop rewarding girls that look like 12 year old boys in drag and make some ATTRACTIVE and STRUCTURED clothing for women with Marilyn Monroe-frames. Remember her? The woman most men found perfect? With a waist 10 inches smaller than her bust and hips? We exist.

And if one more saleswoman tells me I can just stick a belt around my waist to show that I have one while trying on one of those ballooning sacks, I'm going to jam a pair of low-riding skinny jeans down her throat-hole.

Kiss my round, juicy, size 8 (and NORMAL) ass,
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