September 16th, 2008

Peony Stoney

Re: the weight debate building. (this is about eating issues, not medical conditions)

As someone who was groomed by her mother to have a specific body type, and ridiculed publicly when I didn't have that, as someone who was told by her father that it looked like I had a tire in my waist band, as someone that was an exercise bulimic in her late teens and was grey-faced and wan from being unhealthy, as someone who watched her best friend almost die from anorexia, as someone from the south on the wrong side of the grits line watched her g-grandmother kill herself with food (4'11" 436 pounds on her death bed) let me say this:

Being [eta] underweight or severely overweight combined with eating poorly and not exercising is bad for you. What a shocker, eh?

Note that I am not saying that being UNDERweight and THIN means you are healthy, because we all know that thin person that eats for crap and smokes too much, etc. *cough* Kate moss, Nicole Ritchie, Lara Flynn Boyle *cough* I'm certainly not saying that's the case, and I don't see any of my flist saying that, either. So let's not make assumptions all over the place. (As in, no one is saying people who are of a larger size are automatically unhealthy, and no one is saying that stick-thin waifs are automatically healthy.)

My goal is this: to be able to play when I want, and not have to buy a new wardrobe because of weight fluctuations. Period. I don't have a scale goal, I don't have a size goal. I've struggled with weight issues my whole life, as we all have. I just want to be healthy. To have a strong heart, to have strong lungs, legs, arms, and mind. I'm teaching my daughters that they are beautiful no matter what, and that food is not a reward, that food is not a time killer, that food is not anything but fuel, and often can taste delicious. They make healthy choices and that's all I can ask.

If I, or anyone else in your life that loves you (and you out there that know that I care about you, I DO) says that they want you to be healthy and strong, they aren't automatically saying you are fat, ugly, unattractive, unworthy, gross, etc. Honestly, I see you, not your body shape, not your foot size, any dimples on your ass, just YOU. And if I like you, I like YOU. Which means I want you to stick around for a while. And let's be honest: if you're making poor choices, you know it. You don't need anyone to tell you. I'm certainly not going to.

But I will say this: I care. I care that you might hate yourself because of a stupid scale. I care that you might be killing yourself because you use food to numb whatever it is. I care that you don't use your magnificent body that was designed to move. I care if you smoke. I care if you drink to excess. I care if you make any sort of unhealthy choices. (Wear your seat belts!) :) I CARE. I'm not judging you, I'm not thinking ugly thoughts, I just CARE.

If anyone, ANYONE needs encouragement to make healthier choices, to help you CONTINUE to make the choices you've BEEN making, to get any form of exercise you can, just say the word. I will help in any way I can because I care about you, and about you feeling your best, period. (Obviously if you have a medical condition such as hypothyroidism, etc. that screws up your body's ability to function as it should, that's a different story.) Just... don't knee-jerk to "you're judging me and hating me auuugh!" when it's not that at all. End of preaching at this end. I just can't stand to see anyone else eat themselves to death like they keep doing in my family, that's all. <3

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