October 3rd, 2008

creationist vs. evolutionist [iconomicon

Open mouth breathing

okay, so maybe kinda you could say Palin won the debate because
  • she didn't crap her pants
  • she didn't stick her tongue out at Biden
  • she didn't clomp to the podium in a Pretty Princess Outfit with a foil and rhinestone tiara and a feathered sceptre in her mommy's Fancy Shoes
  • she didn't mis-pronounce words, just used the wrong ones
  • she didn't go into a trance and cast demons into her opponent
  • she didn't carry a Bible to the podium to glean her facts for the basis of various arguments

So, if that's the bar set for her to "win" the debate, then yes. She did. The rest of us that are tired of "noo-kyoo-lar" and "strategery" feel that she is an intellectual boob that is only a believer in Women's Rights if that means all the Cosmos the boys can buy you, free reign at the shoe shop, the freedom to have a Girls Night to watch the latest RomCom and then write on sparkly notebook paper with glitter pens how you feel about each one of your bestest buds and share it while getting facials.

In my best Palin goose honk: "I'd like to send a shout out out to my homes, Ceephus and my baby daddy Tahd. Lil' Ree Ree and Big Mike, I've got big ups for ya [wink] and to all my hahkey mahms kickin it at field number Nine... [fist heart peace kiss] For those that couldn't be with us here today.... [pours gatorade from a 40 oz. size bottle on the stage] Gahd bless."

Biden. I believe the kids say: PWNED.

(Guys, I'm almost hung over from the drinking game my husband and I played during the debates. Wink? Drink. Misunderstanding the things coming out of her mouth? Drink. Using the former Press Secretary's name instead of the actual commanding officer in Afghanistan? Drink. Etc.)

[ETA] Palin Debate Flow Chart. AHAHAHAHAHA. Awesome.
sparkle motion [by whom?]


By "that" I mean the gauntlet thrown down by my son. Guess who just walked in the door with a copy of Breaking Dawn? My son. "I know you said I couldn't read this, but there's nothing you can do about it, now."

Oh, re-hee-heeeaaally? I walked off, hands on hips, sucking in air, trying to calm myself. Then I smiled. Mine is an evil smile.

"Fine. Your punishment for openly defying me and being a jerk about it is that you will read the book. All of it. Cover to cover. And believe me, you're going to want to stop. But I'm not going to let you. And there will be a quiz when you're done."

I walked off laughing, he sat there, stunned, the tiniest of lip quivers forming.

Score one for this mama.