December 17th, 2008

30Rock Straight Up mentally ill

Alive, fed, and a little grossed out

I'm here in 'Bama, had to race in front of an ice storm to get here, but I was wise had had several bottles of wine with me to open once I safely arrived at marenfics. Awesome things that have happened, and seriously: if I can't watch bad p7on with you, our friendship is doomed. It's just... I need you to know this.

  • documentary on... we never determined what kind of people they were but they called themselves the Cat Dancers. The main dude said he knew Siegfried before Roy. I assumed in the biblical sense. I also assumed his "lady" was his tiger and he "loved" her. Again, we assumed in the biblical sense. I gotta say, if you can R a tiger, you, my friend, are a man. A sick man, but a man.
  • I brought some special magazines with me to freak out Maren's husband and to make us laugh. "Bondage Fairies," which is in the classic anime style, has two little fairies getting R'd by, wait for it, a grasshopper. I am not joking. Someone, some where, gets hot by that stuff. And that person needs to try and R the first dude's tiger and end his life as it should be ended, violently and with realism biting on his throat meat.
  • Do I even need to go into detail about the furry magazine I am now in possession of and the weirdness of anthropomorphic kinkiness? Why do these goof balls draw themselves with Disney-style animal heads, say, a fox or lemur, then have ripped hairless bellies, then back to the tail and hooves/paws/talons/wtf ever? I'm sorry, but if you need to imagine that you are some kind of Lion Warrior who is bedding an Alosaurus, you need long and intense therapy. You just do. That is the actual plot line for one of these stories. There will be a bad!fic p7on edition when I get back, mind.
  • People. Their craziness makes me feel better about my own, is what I'm saying.
  • we've also gone to a yarnery and I got a beautiful, hand-carved crochet hook because aside from the fascination with weird p7on, I'm an old lady making afghans. *offers you crappy old penny candy*
  • oh! I also went to a GREAT toy store and got my kids owl pellets so they can take apart the skeletons inside and re-articulate them, because that's the kind of science fun we have in my house.

And come on: what other journal are you reading that starts with weird furry crap and ends with owl poop? That's what keeps you coming back. That and the voodoo I do when you're offline. Happy Wednesday!