Srs. SOPHIE'S CHOICE TIME.
Well? Which is it?!?
I hate desserts and all they represent!
I am a weakling and like both equally! (If you answer this, I will know that you cannot be counted on in the End of Days. DECISIVE, POR FAVOR.)
Down to the nitty gritty re: cake!
FROSTING! (Buttercream, natch)
FROSTING! (Lard-based, natch)
FROSTING! (cream cheese + I don't care it's CREAM CHEESE FROSTING)
ICING! (sugar sugar sugar sugar and some fat)
ICING! (Glaze-style, powdered sugar and sun'in' wet)
BARE I HATE ANYTHING THAT KEEPS ME FROM MY CAKE.
PIE NITTY GRITTY, oh my ever-loving god, TELL ME:
Meringue! Whispy white clouds of nom!
NEVER MERINGUE, god, it looks sweaty, feh.
Cool Whip/Whipped Cream! Either made on the cake, or added later!
ICE CREAM ON PIE. Melty cool goodness.
Nobody better put nothing on my pie, just GIMMIE PIE.
Laura, you Gee Dee sonofabee sting. You have alienated me by not having categorized the following!
CHEESECAKE. The one true dessert to rule us all.
BROWNIES. They are cake, but they are NOT CAKE, they are the BEST.
CONFECTIONS. Why are you hating on fudge and divinity? It is DIVINE, it's right there in the NAME.
COOKIES, what on earth you left out the ONLY THING THAT MATTERS TO ME IN THIS LIFE
Nasty Hard Candies that have congealed into a block in my Nana's front room in her ancient glass candy dish. ALSO, I AM 107 YEARS OLD.
Seriously you guys, this is so important, I can't even. (And the first person that COMPLAINS ABOUT or CHASTISES ME for leaving something out of this stupid thing is getting publicly mocked by yours truly.)
JERSEY SHORE IS TONIGHT AND I HATE ALL OF YOUR FACES FOR NOT LOVING IT LIKE I DO. That is some of the best writing of my LIFE, those recaps. (Ok, three of you are my new best friends and I'm growing organs for you. But the others? They are dead to me.