February 8th, 2011

30Rock Straight Up mentally ill

A brief look into the mind of a crazy person

Conversation I had with myself today at the gas station:

Me: Glad I just filled up my tank before bad weather hits.
Me: Who cares? You're not going to drive on the ice, why bother?
Me: Because you always need a full tank, that's End of Days Preparation 101, yo
Me: Did you just say "yo," white girl?
Me: *ignores* What if you need to siphon off gas for Molotov cocktails? Or just get out of town?
Me: You live on the outskirts, you're already out of town.
Me: But, where do you think all of the city people will flee?
Me: Hmm, good point.
Me: Plus, last ditch efforts of survival, I can shoot the gas tank and blow up my car and take out any scavengers/undead that might come too close
Me: OK, that would look awesome, continue.

ION, I was at the fabric store in the hoity toity part of town and straight up got a head to toe, pearl clutching, oh my god look from some woman. SORRY I DIDN'T WEAR CHANNEL TO CALICO CORNERS, BITCH. I'm sorry. My sincerest apologies. Also, how did you like my tattoo that's exposed by my COLE HAAN LOAFERS? Yes, I'm a tattooed preppy gal who years for a Birkin bag and an octopus tattoo on my other foot.

I'm an onion, I have layers. Also? I'll make you cry. I'm not stinky, though, because I'm super keen on hygiene. <--I want to make iron ons that say that and give them to all the teen-aged boys ever.

Oh, and that lady? I raised my eyebrows and mouthed "WOW" at her. That'll show 'em. LOL.