Laura Stone (stoney321) wrote,
Laura Stone

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Looks like someone's got a case of the Mondays!

In regards to the latest wank about the man "married" to a horse and "dating" a human... I can't believe no one made the joke, "gives a whole new meaning to the term 'animal husbandry.'" Ba dum bum ching. And seriously - I've not been able to stop making punchlines all night.

* What did Darkhorseman say to the slaughter house? Take my wife, please.
* When Darkhorseman and his Mare got married, what hotel room did they stay in? The Bridle Suite.
* What did sweet nothings did Darkhorseman say to his Mare the first night he tried coupling with her? "Roses are red, violets are blue. Horses that don't bone me get made into glue."
* Darkhorseman had been feeling a little ill before going into the stable to see his "wife." His girlfriend hollered at him through the barn door, "How you doing in there?" He replied, "I'm feeling a little horse."

Whah whah.

If anything, it gives the New Zealanders some breathing room about them and their sheep. [/rimshot] (for the record, I don't believe some of the stories coming out - stallions will NOT allow you to touch them when a mare is in heat. You'll be killed, truly.) <-- WHY IS THIS BEING DISCUSSED, ACK! ACK!

I'm just about done with my favorite gift from the holidays, Amy Sedaris' self-help/how to entertain while drunk book "I Like You." What's great is that she's serious, mostly. I think I've got my Amy-impression down pat, too. Wheee! *sticks googly eyes on you all* I'm not even going to mention that I applied for a new crack RP game last night. I'm not going to talk about that. *cough*

I think I should go back to bed...
Tags: oh em gee
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