Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

But mostly me, because I'm selfish like that. Hogod, kink city. Ode to a chisled chest on a dirty boy.

So, for those of you that have seen me in RL, I'm pretty... normal looking. Like, chick next door-ish. Dare I say, with an America's Sweetheart type quality? *cracks up* That's what I've been told at any rate. I grew up a good girl. Straight A's, shy, went to church, buttoned my top almost all the way up, that sort of girl. Didn't sass back, didn't cause trouble, didn't get grounded. Often. I was the "safe" girl - parents loved me, friends used me to drive them home because I would always be the sober one. I was Vice President of Mu Alpha Theta, the Math Society. Hahahaha, NERD ALERT.

I was a Robert Smith listener. A Depeche Mode and Morrissey girl. I had these elaborate fantasies at age 14 of my crush requesting "I Want You Now" at the church dance (hahahaha, shut it) and looking at me like I was the most awesome thing on the planet in my splatter-bleached Jordache jeans and striped Madonna "Papa Don't Preach" shirt. I would finally, FINALLY kiss a boy. When I finally did get a boyfriend he was everything I wanted: tortured artist, Morrissey hair, Honors society. OH MY GOD, love.

But... there was another side to me. I distinctly remember one of the "burnouts" (metal guys) approaching me in a clandestine manner at my locker my junior year and asking if it was true I had a copy of the Beastie Boys' "Paul's Boutique" albums, and could I get him a copy? My boyfriend Michael didn't understand that I listened outside the realm of New Wave. But it wasn't just hip hop/rap.

10th grade. Marty McNeill, our school's first "out" gayboy, who was wearing a turquoise shaker-knit cardigan and U2 concert T (god, I remember this like it was YESTERDAY) pulled me down the hall towards the band hall - that was where the burnouts smoked before school started. He was all emphatic and said you have GOT to listen to this. He gave me his headset and it was "Welcome to the Jungle." I fucking love that song to this day. (Tiff, if you're reading this, what was "Whatever's" name? Kara? "Eh meh ghed, that's so sehd." Her? Hahaha.) My school was mostly filled with country-music listeners or New Wavers. There were a handful of Metal Heads, but that was Not Cool. I had to keep my newfound love for Metallica and Dio on the down low.

My senior year was my "screw up" year. I had the grades already, I was depressed about my family moving to California and leaving me behind, and I didn't care anymore. Enter David Campbell. Smart as HELL but even more sarcastic - he had to fail several classes to qualify for the C student slots in Academic Decathalon, as the A slots were filled. He brought the team to victory, Nat'l title, and won several thousand dollars on Jeopardy, too! David's best friend was dating my older sister and they were rockers. Homemade tats, long hair and sarcasm? Yes, please. They would skip last period and drive me home so we could drink beer and watch Jeopardy. Hahaha. The best part was the music they played when we drove away from school to my house. (Oh, I didn't drink. I just gave them my step-dad's beer. Nice.) We listened to heavy metal, rock, glam rock... I laughed at their Faster Pussycat albums, because even I knew they were total crap. I loved how I got to be sneaky and live on the "other side of the tracks."

When I graduated and moved out, my first roommate was a rocker-chick from Worcester, Mass. Wicked awesome. I have never seen bangs reach that height, and y'all, I'm from Dallas, where the hair don't get much bigger. :D (Tiff, Beth, do y'all remember Cheri?) She woke up every morning with two lines of coke and a cup of coffee. My little Mormon perceptions of the world were completely shattered. That was the year I witnessed the stupidest guy in the world (seriously, how he was able to breathe and walk at the same time is beyond me) completely empty the chamber on a 3-Liter pop bottle bong he'd fashioned. I'm still blown away by the lung capacity. WOW. I hooked up with a guy named Chris and was a real life groupie for his rock band. (Brandi? Just. Like. Sebastian. Bach.) I started dating this one guy (I can't even remember his name now) that was into heavier shit like Slayer and Megadeth. I found Pantera, and life was good. Went to some Danzig concerts.

Again, I look like I look. Long blonde ponytail, bright "oh my god, you guys!" smile, polo tops. Hahaha.

But this is what turns me on. And this. (good lord those THIGHS.) Or this - back when he still had his own face, omg. They are stinky, dirty, crude boys. Ungh. Tommy Lee probably has every single STD known to man, and possibly some primates. I would still fuck him. Double bagged, yes. But still. (Good lord, my EYES watered from the hot in that picture.)

And what?? What with the two boys tonguing each other?!?!

So there's the other thing. Not talking music, because I get that a lot of you are into very quiet, thinky music. Sure, sure. ROCKSTARS ARE TOTALLY GAY FOR EACH OTHER. They grind up against each other. They watch their band mates get sucked off by groupies. They thrust their tongues, cocks at one another in front of EVERYONE (Voyeurism kink, hello!) and drape their sweaty, hot bodies over each other while they "grind their axe." My head go splodey.

So yeah. My name is Stoney, and I am totally turned on by rotten, nasty, tattooed assholes who can fucking rock the stage and the bed.

Next kink up: my love of sweet, sensitive Dandies! Hahahaha.


( 117 comments — Leave a comment )
Page 1 of 2
<<[1] [2] >>
Feb. 2nd, 2007 06:34 pm (UTC)
Oh, when I moved away from listening only to New Wave, I got into Classic Rock, and of course my extension, Metal and then Punk.

So yeah, I TOTALLY hear you on the bad boy thing, the guitar rockin' thing. And I'm sorry, but Axl Rose was ah-may-zeeiing! Oh, plus if you're from the area of MA that I'm from, you like Aerosmith. No matter what. And I've seen them four times in concert, from before their comeback to after, and they can really whale.

Rocker boys, tewtally hawt!

Feb. 2nd, 2007 06:39 pm (UTC)
Hahaha to your icon choice
Tuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh knees! Knees! Muuuuuuuah.

I LOVE AEROSMITH. Like, old school. My BFF had to confirm to my HS boyfriend that I liked them. Haha, he was all *shock!* And she goes, Dewd, I know. And I was like, but!

ROCKER BOYS. Good lord.
Feb. 2nd, 2007 06:41 pm (UTC)
Yes. Dude. Yes.

Axl? My first 'I want him!'; and yes, I was barely 11, but I KNEW what I wanted dammit and I wanted that pretty man in the bicycle shorts, because... yeah. And I was nearly crushed to death at a Pantera concert and it is still one of the top 3 moments of my life.

Feb. 2nd, 2007 06:43 pm (UTC)

Dewd, YES. I remember talking to you once about that Pantera concert! *pours some out for Diceman* That happened to me at Danzig - I was so focused on how they have TWO DRUMMERS, so one can recoup while the other plays - that I didn't notice the crushing me zomg crowd. Yikes.

Axl, jesus, have you seen him lately? Yeesh. But back in the day when he played a rentboy looking to make it big in the city in the Welcome to the Jungle video? GOOD. FUCKING. GOD.
... - cityphonelines - Feb. 2nd, 2007 06:56 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Feb. 2nd, 2007 07:01 pm (UTC) - Expand
Feb. 2nd, 2007 06:45 pm (UTC)
You're completely and utterly gorgeous. I know this because I've seen you in RL.

Admittedly I did have a concussion and had been drinking, but still...
Feb. 2nd, 2007 06:49 pm (UTC)

You didn't even click on the links to the hot long haired boys, did you? *doesn't care* I'll just bask in your head-injury induced lurve. :D
... - crevette - Feb. 2nd, 2007 08:07 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Feb. 2nd, 2007 08:10 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - crevette - Feb. 2nd, 2007 08:13 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Feb. 2nd, 2007 08:20 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - crevette - Feb. 2nd, 2007 08:30 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
Feb. 2nd, 2007 06:52 pm (UTC)
I don't do concerts anymore - I have got to get my hearing checked. Too much loud music = steady ringing in my ears now.

I like quiet music, but then again, I like almost every genre. I LOVE loud rock, but only when it's good. :D

(I didn't! Am googling now!)
Feb. 2nd, 2007 06:47 pm (UTC)
Curious about the Worcester roommate. I think we're roughly the same age because, so it's entirely possible there's a six-degrees of separation going on. Not that Worcesters a little town, but ya never know.
Feb. 2nd, 2007 06:51 pm (UTC)
Let's see. I'm 34, and Cheri was... two or three years older? She came down to Texas with her boyfriend (dumped him once she got here) and was a roadie for The Nuge in an earlier life. Ha. I can NOT think of her last name. (I'll try) Dark hair, deep smoker's voice, drugged out. Totally hot. Aside from the whole "burned out on drugs thing." :D
... - beadbeauty - Feb. 3rd, 2007 02:18 am (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Feb. 3rd, 2007 02:20 am (UTC) - Expand
Feb. 2nd, 2007 06:57 pm (UTC)
Oh God, Dave Navarro is like the hottest thing under the sun. Or he was when he was with Jane's Addiction and the Chili Peppers. The dark hair, the dark eyes, the tattoos? The skinny, muscled body? SIGN ME UP.

The very first song I ever headbanged to was Alice In Chains' "Would" and that song - to this day! - can get me up on my feet faster than anything. It changed my life. After AiC I got into Metallica and Danzig (MOTHER! TELL YOUR CHILDREN NOT TO HOLD MY HAND!) and Megadeth and so on and met my now-husband. I moshed! And while I'm geek material now, I was a million times worse as a teenager.
Feb. 2nd, 2007 07:00 pm (UTC)
UNGH the Dave Navarro early days!! Once he got with Carmen Electra, he got too makeupped for me, but the Jane's Days? Holy hell, yes please!!

Hahaha, one of my great "loves" made me a mixed tape (boy, does that make me feel old) and "Would" was on it. I LOVED ALICE IN CHAINS.

I was too chicken shit to really mosh (omg, pain hurts me!) but I loved the energy. I LOVE METAL! \m/

(You do realize this is my thinly veiled way to get more people into Metalocalypse, right? heee!)
(Deleted comment)
Feb. 2nd, 2007 07:04 pm (UTC)
Oh good lord isn't he AWFUL now? Just... WHY? Bring me back to the plaid kilt and dirty half-tee days with the bandanna and those THIGHS and... Yeah. And TOMMY FUCKING LEE. I would suck him off while he played his drums upside down on stage, yo. Hahahaha.

SKOADY! I love that word. Aw, I remember tattoos before they were kewl. That's when I got mine, too.

ISS. Brandi, you are bringing me back. I need to pull my yearbook and check the mullets of hotness from back in the day. Mmmm. Long, soft hair on boys.

And here I am, happily married to an accountant. (If you start watching Metalocalypse, he's like Charles Ofdensen. This will make sense one day.)
(Deleted comment)
... - stoney321 - Feb. 2nd, 2007 07:11 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
... - moosesal - Feb. 2nd, 2007 07:33 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
... - stoney321 - Feb. 2nd, 2007 07:37 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Feb. 2nd, 2007 07:37 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
... - stoney321 - Feb. 2nd, 2007 07:41 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
... - stoney321 - Feb. 2nd, 2007 07:48 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
... - dancetomato - Feb. 2nd, 2007 07:53 pm (UTC) - Expand
Feb. 2nd, 2007 06:59 pm (UTC)
Rock stars? ::thinks:: In high school, I listened to a lot of Al Stewart and Steely Dan...and whatever band my boyfriends listened to (early Billy Joel, early 80's metal - did I mention I got to see AC/DC, Def Leppard, and Molly Hatchet in concert, and I HATED THEM ALL?)

But I can't remember ever having the hots for rockers. In high school, anyway.

The boys I dated were...geeks. I really had a thing for beautiful eyes that led me to go out with some real goobers, and a jones for smart boys that made me realize that just because a boy was smart did NOT mean he was a)sensitive or b)had any sort of social skills. Nuff said?

I always pined for the artistic types, but none of them ever, ever, ever wanted to date me. It was all the scientists and mathematicians who were lined up to ask me out. (Yep. Married a chemist. Still sigh over the artsy-fartsy IBCs.)

Now, college? I finally realized that what I really loved about men were big noses. No, seriously. Dustin Hoffman, Andy Garcia, David Tennant, Manly...

As far as rock singers went, in college I had a serious crush on Danny Elfman (yes, I know.), Joe Jackson's voice, and the other guitar player from The Police. Also, Peter Buck from REM and Gordon Gano from the Violent Femmes.
Feb. 2nd, 2007 07:08 pm (UTC)
Ahahahaha, MOLLY HATCHET. Yeah, I'm not much into that style of rock. Your "Foghat" style. (But Def Leppard! They have a kick ass drummer, yo. Joe Elliot - hot in shredded jeans. Hahaha.)

And see, I pretty much dated nothing BUT artistic sensitive boys until I got on my own. And then I started having a lot of fun. But the geeks/smarties are who tended to ask me out. I... I had to do a lot of asking on my own. I either a) intimidated guys (really? HOW?) or b) liked boys that knew I was a "good girl" and so wouldn't go for me. *shrug*

I am TOTALLY on board with the nose thing. Seriously. And Danny Elfman is AWESOME! (As for The Police, it's all about Stuart Copeland for me. Holy god. My husband has promised me that we'll go see them on this new tour they're setting up.)

VIOLENT FEMMES. Now you're talking. Man, they are STILL so good.
... - harmonyfb - Feb. 2nd, 2007 09:06 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Feb. 2nd, 2007 09:10 pm (UTC) - Expand
Feb. 2nd, 2007 07:22 pm (UTC)
I'm pretty... normal looking
This is like saying the pope is pretty...catholic. Normal people aren't stunningly beautiful like you. It's one of the many reasons you are completely abnormal.

She woke up every morning with two lines of coke and a cup of coffee.
DUDE. I totally had a dream last night about snorting coke. I've never done coke (not because I'm that good, but because I always felt drugs were for mellowing you out), but my dream was completely detailed: cutting the line with a razor blade, snorting it, sniffling to get it all in, heart racing. The reason for the dream is rather mundane: I've had the worst cold and couldn't breathe. I sleep with a CPAP mask and have to breathe through my nose. So I was constantly waking up to snort and try to clear my breathing passages so I wouldn't suffocate. Thus dreaming of snorting coke.

When I was in high school I had a thing for gay boys, but I didn't really understand until I saw "My Beautiful Laundrette." Daniel Day Lewis suddenly pulls Gordon Warnecke into a doorway and kisses him breathless and I realized: THIS IS IT. THIS IS THE MEANING OF LIFE. PRETTY BOYS KISSING EACH OTHER BREATHLESS. Seriously, it was a complete epiphany for me. Which is how I ended up with Essene. We are both gay men trapped in women's bodies. Plus, have you seen that girl's rack? Guh.

I completely need an icon of DanRad's happy trail because if he'd been around when I was a teenager, I would have discovered masturbation waaaay earlier.

Feb. 2nd, 2007 07:29 pm (UTC)
Okay, what-no. Honey, I'm from TEXAS. I'm a dime a dozen, and there's flashier/prettier/bigger boobed than me on every corner. Wait... Is Texas full of whores? MAYBE THAT'S WHY IT'S AWESOME. (I'm referring to how humdrum I am. Good girl looking, that sort of thing. Bobby-soxer. And I want to wear man pants of dirty boys and go commando. Rawr.)

That's an intense dream! (I've not done coke either.) I've had dreams for the past two days of being a "roadie" for a made up cartoon band. Yeah, I need some therapy for that one.

ANd YES YES YES YES!! My Beautiful Laundrette! Oh holy mary, that scene is breathtaking. (And I remember seeing My Own Private Idaho with my boyfriend and his BFF, and I suspected they were gay for each other when I wasn't looking. I... may have just moaned out loud.)

I am not even going to act like I am not turned on by DanRad's hair. Both his treasure trail and the wee-tiny V in the center of his chest. I dun care who knows - I would touch that. And more. Gah.
... - dancetomato - Feb. 2nd, 2007 07:48 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Feb. 2nd, 2007 07:52 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - dancetomato - Feb. 2nd, 2007 07:58 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Feb. 2nd, 2007 08:01 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - dancetomato - Feb. 2nd, 2007 08:00 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Feb. 2nd, 2007 08:03 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - dancetomato - Feb. 2nd, 2007 08:07 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Feb. 2nd, 2007 08:09 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - dancetomato - Feb. 2nd, 2007 08:25 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Feb. 2nd, 2007 08:28 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - moosesal - Feb. 2nd, 2007 08:25 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Feb. 2nd, 2007 08:29 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - moosesal - Feb. 2nd, 2007 08:33 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Feb. 2nd, 2007 08:50 pm (UTC) - Expand
Feb. 2nd, 2007 07:23 pm (UTC)
Are you trying to hypnotize me into watching Metalwhatzahoozits? It's totally working! *replaces Decemberists cd with "Appetite for Destruction* OMG, how could I have ever crushed on boys with hair this big?
Feb. 2nd, 2007 07:33 pm (UTC)

I'll just give you the first taste here.

You crushed on them because they took their clothes off and screamed beautifully and thrust their cocks at us, that's why. Hahahaha.
... - brunettepet - Feb. 2nd, 2007 07:55 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Feb. 2nd, 2007 08:00 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - brunettepet - Feb. 2nd, 2007 10:40 pm (UTC) - Expand
Feb. 2nd, 2007 07:28 pm (UTC)
OMG, you saw Danzig live? *bows down before you*

And Appetite for Destruction is such a great album. I love "Welcome to the Jungle" and "Sweet Child O' Mine". I actually bought that album on cassette for my stepfather when it came out. We both (my stepfather as well as Chris and I) have it on CD now. Love it. Although I prefer Pyromania and Hysteria by Def Leppard.

I might have to put on some serious rock music this afternoon.
(Deleted comment)
... - moosesal - Feb. 2nd, 2007 08:19 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
... - moosesal - Feb. 2nd, 2007 08:26 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
... - moosesal - Feb. 2nd, 2007 08:34 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
... - moosesal - Feb. 2nd, 2007 08:55 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
... - stoney321 - Feb. 2nd, 2007 07:45 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - moosesal - Feb. 2nd, 2007 08:17 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Feb. 2nd, 2007 08:26 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - moosesal - Feb. 2nd, 2007 08:30 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Feb. 2nd, 2007 08:49 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - moosesal - Feb. 2nd, 2007 08:56 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Feb. 2nd, 2007 08:58 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - moosesal - Feb. 2nd, 2007 09:04 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Feb. 2nd, 2007 09:07 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - moosesal - Feb. 2nd, 2007 09:13 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Feb. 2nd, 2007 09:14 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - moosesal - Feb. 2nd, 2007 09:16 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
... - moosesal - Feb. 2nd, 2007 08:33 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
... - moosesal - Feb. 2nd, 2007 08:46 pm (UTC) - Expand
Feb. 2nd, 2007 08:21 pm (UTC)
What's an overweight irishman in a kilt gonna do against such competition? ::sigh::

Feb. 2nd, 2007 08:27 pm (UTC)
Hahahahaha, same thing I do for my husband when he looks at me after watching Denise Richards on screen: dress like them and rock their boots. Heeeee!

Feb. 2nd, 2007 08:46 pm (UTC)

I drifted through my last year of high school also. Already had enough credits to graduate and the only class I attended regularly was swimming. And the fact that I was the only girl in that class might've had something to do with it.

I started dating the man I married because ... He drove a Mach I. He played guitar in a band and he played hockey. Triple threat. I was sunk. Course, he turned out to be emotionally stunted and incapable of dealing with anything that remotely resembled conversations. But it was fun while it lasted.


And I *so* wanted to name my son Axel, but I settled for Marshall as his middle name. Very obscure, but James Marshall Hendrix was inspiring.

Axel. Sebastion. Sammy. Joe Satriani. Steve Vai ...

*twirls with you*
Feb. 2nd, 2007 08:53 pm (UTC)
And ahahahaha, I TEWTALLY dated a pretty (but v v dumb) boy simply because he drove a '71 Stingray. I talked him into letting me drive it and then I was able break up with him. Ha ha.

SATRIANI. (Sammy does nothing for me, sorry.) Oh, Snow, why do dirty boys have to be so hot? Mmmmmmmmmmm.
Feb. 2nd, 2007 08:52 pm (UTC)
In high school, I read too many romances and my crushes were preppy types. Button up, took a book to the 6th grade dance, spent my lunch hour my senior year eating behind the school library and reading. I was a good girl. Still am, actually.

However, in the late '90's, I saw a VH1 special on Metallica, and my head *exploded*. OMG! My 'type' changed. Like that *snaps fingers*.

Most of the metal guys, eh. I can leave 'em.

But I'd sell my soul for ten minutes with James Hetfield, direct from a two hour concert, sweaty, aggressive and full of attitude.


Feb. 2nd, 2007 08:55 pm (UTC)
JAMES HETFIELD. And see, he does some of the voices on Metalocalypse. And back up music. (As does Kirk Hammitt)

And yeah - good girl, very preppy I was, liked the boys on student council and honor's society, but lusted in my heart for Axl Rose. ANOMALY. :D
(Deleted comment)
Feb. 2nd, 2007 08:56 pm (UTC)
If by see you mean me pushed up against the speakers next to the stage with smoke and lights in my face and the music so loud my ribcage vibrated, then yes. Heeeee!

It was awesome!
Page 1 of 2
<<[1] [2] >>
( 117 comments — Leave a comment )


Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

Time Wot It Is

April 2017
Powered by LiveJournal.com