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Is that ya ass, or ya momma half reindeer?

I can't explain it but damn sure glad you came here! I like them cocky but leggy ones, black whitey Dominicans... Anyone? No? Nelly, Peed Iddy? (A-Listers: I'm bringing Donatella Versace back, because have you SEEN HER CANKLES??) Uh, off topic. Ahem.

Good morning!! Happy Monday! I'm in a TERRIFIC mood, enough to send you sprinklings of joy in case you have a Case of the Mondays. I'm waaaaaaay behind on responding to some awesome feedback I got for my Pickles the Drummer as a teen rent-boy story (dude, that is like, the nicest fb EVER there.) and various other things, but I'm SO HAPPY TODAY!! I can barely sit still. So, why so happy? So filled with joy? WELL LET ME TELL YOU.

My little sister, the wee tiny blonde Swiss Miss in this picture *points down* is GETTING MARRIED.

It's about damn time. Ahahaha. I kid. About the being made an honest woman part. Oh, I'm SO HAPPY for her and her fiancè, Chris. He's terrific and funny and gracious and thinks my sister is the most awesome and beautiful and talented person on earth. (D'awww.) So, I love him for that, alone. Also, he's really fun and sweet to my kids, and I looooooove cooking for him, and he makes my sister happy, and they've been together for almost 5 years now, and I'm just tickled pink. YAY.

Hey, Beth? Now I won't have to think you're a dirty whore for living in sin. AHAHAHA. (My sister is awesome and will think that's funny, so get yer britches out of a wad. This is how we roll in my family.)

YAY NEW BROTHER!!! Brothers don't shake hands! Brothers gotta HUG. (And seriously, Beth. He picked out the most beautiful ring. I LOVE YOU BOTH, EEEEE!)

Oh, and for those wanting a face to go with my awesome friend Alison, here:

(That's her on the right with the beer.) And she finally looks happy like in this picture again! I hadn't realized how long it had been since I'd seen her beam with joy since I started flipping through pictures. :( But she's happy now, so that's good! *hugs her to bits*

Oooh, what else? I had The Sex Talk with my son. (!!!) And he got very very quiet. And asked if he HAD to have babies, because he did NOT want to do that. HAHAHAHA. KEEP THAT THOUGHT, KID. I finished digging out EVERY SINGLE PLANT from the front of my house and re-doing my flower beds. WHEW. That was exhausting, but gratifying. I also put in a new climbing rose, Royal Gold that will go up the front of the house and combine over the bay window with my hybrid New Dawn. (Mine is hot pink, fades to pale.)

(And I found a climbing rose named GOLDEN SHOWERS. That's... an unfortunate name. Or, you know, I'm just... I'm just really broken inside. Probably that last one.)

Oh, and I forgot to wish dancetomato a happy birthday!! DT, if I had it together, I would have written you a story based on THIS IMAGE. Including a bj with teeth raking down his taut belly and weetiny treasure trail and all sorts of wrongness. Wrongness that is RIGHTNESS, am I right? Sure I am. Hahaha! Instead, I will just send you hope for continued health and happiness. *massive, bone creaking squishes*

The wind is picking up outside, so I need to get a move on so I can keep my good mood. I want to READ today. What are you reading? HOW ARE ALL OF YOU? Do tell! *props chin on fists, beaming*



Feb. 19th, 2007 03:51 pm (UTC)
YAY! I don't think they have a date set, or anything, more of an agreed: "let's do this" is what's happening now. *beams*

And Mr. S and Emily were off helping Alison move some big furniture and playing with her kids, so I was ALL ALONE. And he was very interested in everything I said, and was very freaked out. As in, "ewww, girls are gross and I have to WHAH?" My talk was by my dad, and he had CHARTS! And graphs! Hahaha. It was great, actually.

We were pretty comfortable talking about sex, my mother was a bit TOO comfortable talking about it. Ewww, SHUT UP, MOM.
Feb. 19th, 2007 04:17 pm (UTC)
"ewww, girls are gross and I have to WHAH?"

That was pretty much my reaction when I had The Talk, only switch out girls for boys. "He puts THAT THERE? FOR REAL? O_o." I also remember an animated video and book that explained the birds and the bees. Which, after hearing that expression, I didn't understand how that related to what my parents told me about because I was neither a bird nor a bee.

Whenever I have kids, I might hire someone to have The Sex Talk with them.
Feb. 19th, 2007 04:33 pm (UTC)
SAVE THIS LINK. You may not know what the words are, unless you sprechen ze Deutch, but the pics are GREAT.

I left him alone on the computer with that and it answered any further questions.

And bought me an hour of pure silence. HAHAHAHAHA.
Feb. 19th, 2007 06:31 pm (UTC)
I am alarmed that the doctor seems to have a hammer while she is giving birth. I'll bet the text says, "And the doctor, on orders from Tom Cruise, tells the mommy to shut up and birth in silence or he'll jack her over the head." And that baby looks like it's about to dive to the ground.

Feb. 19th, 2007 06:33 pm (UTC)
HEEEEEEEEEEE!! I said in a thread somewhere else here that the baby look slike it's going "Ta Da!" or making Jazz Hands.

HEEEEE to Tom Cruise. Man, I miss RPing that crackhead.
Feb. 19th, 2007 06:40 pm (UTC)
Jazz Hands! Yes! While singing "Hello, Dolly!"
Feb. 19th, 2007 06:34 pm (UTC)
OMG someone needs to make an icon of the baby coming out with the words "HELLO WORLD" superimposed over its face. Super closeup shot of the baby and the mom's vagina, FTW!
Feb. 19th, 2007 06:38 pm (UTC)
I posted the book a while ago, and someone made an icon with "Ta Da!" on it, and I can't remember who!!!

*zooms back to original post to find out*
Feb. 19th, 2007 06:44 pm (UTC)
Oh man, if you find it, let me know. I want a vagina icon!
Feb. 19th, 2007 06:46 pm (UTC)
I FOUND IT!! It's by themindseye - she's a lurker, typically, and made it for the post. Hahahahaha.
... - southernbangel - Feb. 19th, 2007 07:14 pm (UTC) - Expand
Feb. 19th, 2007 06:29 pm (UTC)
Um. Hello.
Feb. 19th, 2007 06:37 pm (UTC)
Hahahaha, can we trade? You tell my kids about S-E-X and I'll tell yours. Let's guess whose kids would be screwed up then? My kids wouldn't stand a chance with me.
Feb. 19th, 2007 06:39 pm (UTC)
I'm guessing my kids will know more than you :)
Feb. 19th, 2007 06:40 pm (UTC)
Hahaha, your kids will be the ones all the other kids learn from.
... - marenfic - Feb. 19th, 2007 06:41 pm (UTC) - Expand
Feb. 19th, 2007 06:43 pm (UTC)
Dude, you know what's sad about that statement? There is no "guessing." Your kids will TOTALLY know more about sex than me. Like, positions and everything.

Maybe they can teach me? Oh yeah, I went there.


Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

Time Wot It Is

April 2017
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