I can't explain it but damn sure glad you came here! I like them cocky but leggy ones, black whitey Dominicans... Anyone? No? Nelly, Peed Iddy? (A-Listers: I'm bringing Donatella Versace back, because have you SEEN HER CANKLES??) Uh, off topic. Ahem.

Good morning!! Happy Monday! I'm in a TERRIFIC mood, enough to send you sprinklings of joy in case you have a Case of the Mondays. I'm waaaaaaay behind on responding to some awesome feedback I got for my Pickles the Drummer as a teen rent-boy story (dude, that is like, the nicest fb EVER there.) and various other things, but I'm SO HAPPY TODAY!! I can barely sit still. So, why so happy? So filled with joy? WELL LET ME TELL YOU.


My little sister, the wee tiny blonde Swiss Miss in this picture *points down* is GETTING MARRIED.



It's about damn time. Ahahaha. I kid. About the being made an honest woman part. Oh, I'm SO HAPPY for her and her fiancè, Chris. He's terrific and funny and gracious and thinks my sister is the most awesome and beautiful and talented person on earth. (D'awww.) So, I love him for that, alone. Also, he's really fun and sweet to my kids, and I looooooove cooking for him, and he makes my sister happy, and they've been together for almost 5 years now, and I'm just tickled pink. YAY.

Hey, Beth? Now I won't have to think you're a dirty whore for living in sin. AHAHAHA. (My sister is awesome and will think that's funny, so get yer britches out of a wad. This is how we roll in my family.)

YAY NEW BROTHER!!! Brothers don't shake hands! Brothers gotta HUG. (And seriously, Beth. He picked out the most beautiful ring. I LOVE YOU BOTH, EEEEE!)

Oh, and for those wanting a face to go with my awesome friend Alison, here:


(That's her on the right with the beer.) And she finally looks happy like in this picture again! I hadn't realized how long it had been since I'd seen her beam with joy since I started flipping through pictures. :( But she's happy now, so that's good! *hugs her to bits*

Oooh, what else? I had The Sex Talk with my son. (!!!) And he got very very quiet. And asked if he HAD to have babies, because he did NOT want to do that. HAHAHAHA. KEEP THAT THOUGHT, KID. I finished digging out EVERY SINGLE PLANT from the front of my house and re-doing my flower beds. WHEW. That was exhausting, but gratifying. I also put in a new climbing rose, Royal Gold that will go up the front of the house and combine over the bay window with my hybrid New Dawn. (Mine is hot pink, fades to pale.)

(And I found a climbing rose named GOLDEN SHOWERS. That's... an unfortunate name. Or, you know, I'm just... I'm just really broken inside. Probably that last one.)

Oh, and I forgot to wish dancetomato a happy birthday!! DT, if I had it together, I would have written you a story based on THIS IMAGE. Including a bj with teeth raking down his taut belly and weetiny treasure trail and all sorts of wrongness. Wrongness that is RIGHTNESS, am I right? Sure I am. Hahaha! Instead, I will just send you hope for continued health and happiness. *massive, bone creaking squishes*

The wind is picking up outside, so I need to get a move on so I can keep my good mood. I want to READ today. What are you reading? HOW ARE ALL OF YOU? Do tell! *props chin on fists, beaming*