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Is that ya ass, or ya momma half reindeer?

I can't explain it but damn sure glad you came here! I like them cocky but leggy ones, black whitey Dominicans... Anyone? No? Nelly, Peed Iddy? (A-Listers: I'm bringing Donatella Versace back, because have you SEEN HER CANKLES??) Uh, off topic. Ahem.

Good morning!! Happy Monday! I'm in a TERRIFIC mood, enough to send you sprinklings of joy in case you have a Case of the Mondays. I'm waaaaaaay behind on responding to some awesome feedback I got for my Pickles the Drummer as a teen rent-boy story (dude, that is like, the nicest fb EVER there.) and various other things, but I'm SO HAPPY TODAY!! I can barely sit still. So, why so happy? So filled with joy? WELL LET ME TELL YOU.

My little sister, the wee tiny blonde Swiss Miss in this picture *points down* is GETTING MARRIED.

It's about damn time. Ahahaha. I kid. About the being made an honest woman part. Oh, I'm SO HAPPY for her and her fiancè, Chris. He's terrific and funny and gracious and thinks my sister is the most awesome and beautiful and talented person on earth. (D'awww.) So, I love him for that, alone. Also, he's really fun and sweet to my kids, and I looooooove cooking for him, and he makes my sister happy, and they've been together for almost 5 years now, and I'm just tickled pink. YAY.

Hey, Beth? Now I won't have to think you're a dirty whore for living in sin. AHAHAHA. (My sister is awesome and will think that's funny, so get yer britches out of a wad. This is how we roll in my family.)

YAY NEW BROTHER!!! Brothers don't shake hands! Brothers gotta HUG. (And seriously, Beth. He picked out the most beautiful ring. I LOVE YOU BOTH, EEEEE!)

Oh, and for those wanting a face to go with my awesome friend Alison, here:

(That's her on the right with the beer.) And she finally looks happy like in this picture again! I hadn't realized how long it had been since I'd seen her beam with joy since I started flipping through pictures. :( But she's happy now, so that's good! *hugs her to bits*

Oooh, what else? I had The Sex Talk with my son. (!!!) And he got very very quiet. And asked if he HAD to have babies, because he did NOT want to do that. HAHAHAHA. KEEP THAT THOUGHT, KID. I finished digging out EVERY SINGLE PLANT from the front of my house and re-doing my flower beds. WHEW. That was exhausting, but gratifying. I also put in a new climbing rose, Royal Gold that will go up the front of the house and combine over the bay window with my hybrid New Dawn. (Mine is hot pink, fades to pale.)

(And I found a climbing rose named GOLDEN SHOWERS. That's... an unfortunate name. Or, you know, I'm just... I'm just really broken inside. Probably that last one.)

Oh, and I forgot to wish dancetomato a happy birthday!! DT, if I had it together, I would have written you a story based on THIS IMAGE. Including a bj with teeth raking down his taut belly and weetiny treasure trail and all sorts of wrongness. Wrongness that is RIGHTNESS, am I right? Sure I am. Hahaha! Instead, I will just send you hope for continued health and happiness. *massive, bone creaking squishes*

The wind is picking up outside, so I need to get a move on so I can keep my good mood. I want to READ today. What are you reading? HOW ARE ALL OF YOU? Do tell! *props chin on fists, beaming*



Feb. 19th, 2007 06:43 pm (UTC)

You are FIRED from HGTV, Lee. FIRED. When did you become Bobby Trendy????
Feb. 19th, 2007 06:48 pm (UTC)
Bobby Trendy is a GENIUS. A really tacky, over-the-top GENIUS. Feathers and neon pinks and reds and animal prints are TOTALLY IN. I want to be Bobby Trendy.

It just broke my heart to say that. I take it back, HGTV! Don't leave me!

(I have this oh so cozy yet horribly loud blanket my dad gave me for Christmas a year or two ago. It honestly looks like something for a eight year old's girl. He probably got it at Tweens 'R Us or something, but oh man. It is so cozy. You'll see it when you come stay with me for two weeks.)
Feb. 19th, 2007 06:51 pm (UTC)
AHAHAHAHAHA. Bobby Trendy didn't come up with red and animals and purple, I did! Bobby Trendy's the DEBBIL! (please get that...)

Tell me that you're watching Top Design. I can't help it. I didn't want to do it... BUT THERE IT IS. Also, my mother is an interior designer, and as I hate my mother, I love thinking about how she's get PWNED on that show. WHAT?!

I'm COMING FOR TWO WEEKS. Stock the fridge. And keep the gas running, because you'll need to refill it up after a day or so, I'm HONGRAY.
Feb. 19th, 2007 06:57 pm (UTC)
DEBBIL!!! HEEEEEEEEE!!! (Mama Boucher, right? Or am I completely showing my sophomoric love for Adam Sander movies?)

I love Top Design. I mean, the show is nowhere near as awesome as Top Chef or PR, but dude. DESIGN. I love it. Even when the designers are so clearly STUPID. Do you read TVGasm? Holy hell, those are some funny recaps. The recapper for TD calls the nerdy glasses boy "Ralph Wiggum." HAHAHAHAHA. So true.

Feb. 19th, 2007 07:04 pm (UTC)
MAMA BOUCHER. "Dey ever done catch dat gorilla what dun punched ya in the eye?"

Good fucking hell, I love The Waterboy. That movie makes me laugh. There's a scene in "Happy Gilmore" where he's learning to play golf, and two people laugh when he misses the ball and he just walks over, pulls their jerseys over their heads and whales on them. HAHAHA. "You eat shit for breakfast?"

RALPH WIGGUMS!! Oh my god, I'm there like a SHOT!
Feb. 19th, 2007 07:08 pm (UTC)
Let me get you a link to the recaps. I love that site--the recaps are always so snarky (and sometimes bitter). YAY!

Here are the TD recaps. The Top Chef recaps are here. The site covers a TON of shows.

HAHAHAHAHA, that scene is a classic in Happy Gilmore.
Feb. 19th, 2007 07:27 pm (UTC)
Oh my god, the BITCHERY!! I love it! "Mayor of excusesville city" hahahahaha.


Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

Time Wot It Is

April 2017
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